COLIN AND COLETTE By Beaumarchais

Translated and adapted by Frank J. Morlock c 2002

This Etext is for private use only. No republication for profit in 
print or other media may be made without the express consent of the 
Copyright Holder. The Copyright Holder is especially concerned about 
performance rights in any media on stage, cinema, or television, or 
audio or any other media, including readings for which an entrance fee 
or the like is charge. Permissions should be addressed to: Frank 
Morlock, 6006 Greenbelt Rd, #312, Greenbelt, MD 20770, USA or 
frankmorlock@msn.com. Other works by this author may be found at 
http://www.cadytech.com/dumas/personnage.asp?key=130
Etext by Dagny

++++++++++++++++++++++++

ACTORS:

THIBAUT

COLIN

MATHURINE

COLETTE

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Colin is at the back picking flowers; Colette enters and watches him from a distance.

COLETTE: Colin, Colin, now where is he! Why, I see him amusing himself picking flowers. No question he intends them for me. Ah ! how pleased I will be to receive them from his hand! But, what do I see? He's taking the trouble to make a bouquet, he's kissing it. Ah! Colin, Colin, how much I feel these naive proofs of your love.

COLIN: (running and hiding his bouquet) Hello, Colette. What's wrong with you? You seem upset to me.

COLETTE: Oh! It's nothing; but, what's wrong with you yourself? Your gayety today surpasses that of all your other days.

COLIN: I've never felt so much joy.

COLETTE: Do you love me more than usual?

COLIN: Oh! That's not possible.

COLETTE: (laughing) Ha! ha! ha!

COLIN: What are you laughing about, Colette?

COLETTE: About your embarrassment.

COLIN: Eh! From what did that arise?

COLETTE: Come on, come on, stop constraining yourself. That bouquet you are hiding is doubtless intended for me. Are you expecting I will take it from you to offer it to me?

COLIN: What do you mean?

COLETTE: Come on, are you being childish?

COLIN: I'm not aware of it.

COLETTE: In that case, get it over with, Mr. Colin! Are you going to wait until I am no longer in the mood to accept it?

COLIN: Yes.

COLETTE: And where's that come from?

COLIN: Because it's not for you.

COLETTE: What do I hear? What! These flowers that I saw you pick with so much care, this bouquet you took so much pleasure in making, that I saw you kiss with joy—

COLIN: It's not for you.

COLETTE: And you are refusing me it!

COLIN: Yes.

COLETTE: (excitedly) Go, ingrate! Don't ever show yourself to my eyes again. I am going to flee the places where I might meet you, and I abandon to my rival all the rights that I had over your heart.

COLIN: Ah! Colette, stop!

COLETTE: No, I don't want to hear it.

COLIN: It's only a frolic—

COLETTE: Leave me, perfidious one! You won't enjoy your triumph for long, and your tender Colette will soon know how to put an end to a life she cherished only for you.

(ENTER Thibaut.)

THIBAUT: Eh, by Jove! What's wrong with you, children? How you are quarrelling! You'd think you were already husband and wife. There you are, all in tears, Colette. Oh, Zounds! Mr. Colin, it's neither nice nor loyal, you must have complacency for the beautiful sex .

COLIN: Eh! Uncle, don't judge me without hearing me. Colette is unaware—

COLETTE: (hotly) No, perfidious one, I'm not unaware of anything, and I am only too well instructed—

THIBAUT: (to Colette) Let him speak, Colette.

COLETTE: (hotly) I don't know how, I'm choking—

THIBAUT: You will have your turn.

COLETTE: (excitedly) How will he be able to justify his actions?

THIBAUT: We're going to see.

COLETTE: The ingrate! On the point of marrying me!

THIBAUT: (to Colin) What! So this is really serious?

COLIN: Will I finally be permitted to say a word?

COLETTE: (excitedly) What's he going to say?

THIBAUT: Let's see.

COLETTE: (hotly) Ah, what cheats men are!

COLIN: Allow me—

COLETTE: (excitedly) After so many oaths—

COLIN: To explain to you—

COLETTE: To always love me—

THIBAUT: (impatiently) Oh! Dame Colette, if you want me to know what it's about, then you must at least quiet down.

COLETTE: What! You are not yet at the point?

THIBAUT: And the way to get there!

COLETTE: (raging) I see plainly you are on his side.

THIBAUT: But—

COLETTE: (wildly) You won't do me justice!

THIBAUT: I—

COLETTE: The whole world is betraying me.

THIBAUT: (angrily) The plague choke me if—

MATHURINE: (running in) Eh, with what are you amusing yourselves there? The whole village is assembled to celebrate the birthday of the lord of the castle; they are all in a circle trying to agree on what they will do to divert him; some are preparing fireworks, others want to play comedies, the school master, who has the greatest wit, is composing songs, he's already torn up more than one ream of paper, he says he's not perplexed except for the rhyme, but our groom, Colas, who has neither rhyme nor reason, says that he wants to get to the point. What are you waiting for then, here, arms crossed, while all the world is busy?

THIBAUT: Do us more justice; I feel we're all animated with the same zeal, and if we don't distinguish ourselves, it won't be our fault. But it's a question of a little difference between our two lovers. You know how they loved each other yesterday. Well! They can't stand each other today.

MATHURINE: Eh! what's it from?

THIBAUT: Colette's going to explain it to you.

COLETTE: Colin refuses me his bouquet.

MATHURINE: Ah! Colin, that's not honest.

COLIN: Can't I commit a larceny for the lord of this castle?

COLETTE: (tenderly) What! It's for him you intended it?

COLIN: (in the same tone) And who else could steal it from Colette?

COLETTE: Ah! Colin, how many apologies I must make to you, but, at least, you will give me half of it? For I also intend to present him something.

COLIN: Beautiful Colette, as our two hearts are only one, this bouquet will be their image. And for what pleasure he takes to receive it, it will be you who presents it to him for both of us.

THIBAUT: And what characters will we appear to the rest of them? I have the same heart for him, as you know, and I pretend to be lying in the same bouquet.

MATHURINE: Yes, we have that in common with the whole village .

COLIN: We are really counting on it.

THIBAUT: In that case, children, since here we are all agreed, we are going to prepare our best to celebrate the birthday of the lord of this castle.

++++++++++++++++++++++++