FAIRY BY STILL WATERS (Anonymous)

Translated and adapted by Frank J. Morlock

EText by Dagny
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Translated and adapted by Frank J. Morlock

C 2003

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CHARACTERS

LUCAS, a fisherman

PERRETTE, his wife

THE FAIRY

POLICHINEL

HARLEQUIN

GILLE

THE DEVIL, a mute character

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The stage represents the public square of a little town. To the audience left is a pit.

PERRETTE: (alone) See if he'll come back! Oh! the villainous man: his fishing's over, but he's gone to throw the rewards of his toil to the wind. Oh! how miserable I am! Still, if I had a baby I'd never be alone: that would be a distraction, a pleasure, a happiness. But no, I will never be a mother; our marriage is cursed. (seeing Lucas enter) Ah! now you've come back, my word that's very fortunate; I thought I'd never see you again.

LUCAS: Damn! our household needs a time for everything.

PERRETTE: And especially to drink, right, bad character?

LUCAS: From what it seems, the weather vane is spinning. When I left you, wife, everything was just fine and now see the beautiful storm brewing.

PERRETTE: Go on, laugh, heartless one; he who laughs last, laughs best.

LUCAS: Well! you're the one who's going to laugh.

PERRETTE: No, no, I won't laugh.

LUCAS: Even if your fortune was made?

PERRETTE: What do you mean?

LUCAS: If you had only to wish to have a fine palace, horses, carriages, fishing boats, and especially, a kid that you've been insisting on.

PERRETTE: Ah! stop, Lucas, don't joke like that, that's a bad thing to do.

LUCAS: See, now there you are, already softened up.

PERRETTE: Hell, you always promise us so many fine things.

LUCAS: Yes, and I will keep doing it to you. Listen to me carefully, now this is what happened to me. I went fishing in the big lake; when I noticed on the shore, among the rushes, a little girl sleeping—no, I think it was a small woman; oh! but sweet, like you, when you are in a good mood: but what didn't I see but a wolf who was sniffing her and who was going to make his lunch on her. She was so small, that he would have done it in two bites. Oh! they would have been so tender! Rightaway, I took the musket of the woodsman Thonassin who was accompanying me; I aimed at the animal, and I killed it, there—stiff dead. I fired, as quietly as I could for fear of awakening this little woman, but a musket shot always makes so much noise.

PERRETTE: She woke up; well! what did she say to you?

LUCAS: Ah! the things she told me; she told me things that almost drove me crazy.

PERRETTE: Well, come on?

LUCAS I am— {you see she's the one talking) I am the fairy of still waters, that's what she told me; you've just saved me from the Enchanter Lupolin, who, disguised as a wolf, was going to devour me; I intend to reward you for this service; you will only have to form your wish and say two words. I am going to explain to you, and everything you will have wished will soon be granted. On these words she waved a little reed she was holding in her hand like a magic ring, the reeds which surrounded her covered her like a cradle and she vanished into the waters.

PERRETTE: What blarney are you telling us? And you believe that— But what are those two words?

LUCAS: Do you want me to try them?

PERRETTE: Damn, let's see.

LUCAS: The two words are very funny, and the fairy told me like this: that if they will enrich me, they've ruined many others. Let's see, what do you want me to ask for?

PERRETTE: Ask the fairy to appear; after that I will believe you.

LUCAS: Now don't go being afraid, all the time. Madame Fairy, I wish you would do us the honor of coming to see us. BIRIBI-CREPS.

PERRETTE: Oh, my husband, see beneath the pit, do you see the reeds—

LUCAS: That's the crown of the fairy of still waters; I really told you she would come.

FAIRY: (coming out of the pit and coming forward) Here I am, my good friends, I am rendering myself to your wishes.

LUCAS: Madame fairy, were you really so close to us?

FAIRY: I owe you a reward; and as you draw water from this pit, I was coming to see if you needed reparations.

LUCAS: Madame fairy, that's too kind.

FAIRY: I am not one of those fairies who spends their life partying and having fun; I try to make myself useful; when one is placed over men it's a duty to help the weak. I watch over lakes and ponds; I protect the fish in fish ponds, I dry up swamps; I display water in ceremonies; I distribute in spouts, jets of water in pools, and amidst all these diverse jobs, there remain to me a few moments of leisure to play with the little red fish that are kept in glass vases.

PERRETTE: Since my husband spoke the truth, you will be good enough, Madame Fairy, to grant us all that we wish.

FAIRY: Yes, my friends; but two hours after noon I am going to a distant country, where other duties are calling me, and the words BIRIBI-CREPS will no longer have any power. Wish, but wisely, think that two hours will come soon and put the time to use.

PERRETTE AND LUCAS: (together) Very good day, Madame Fairy— May the genie of genies preserve you from wolves.

(Exit the Fairy.)

LUCAS: Wife, my opinion, since we can wish, is that it would be good to have a cellar with a hundred barrels of wine

PERRETTE: I recognize you there. That's very useful, truly. And the fairy told us to be wise.

LUCAS: You are right; I won't think of it any more; Madame Fairy, who lives in the midst of water, oh! I don't want her wine.

PERRETTE: Tell me, husband, if we were to wish to have a son, that would really be wise, indeed.

LUCAS: Yes, I agree to it: Madame Fairy, I wish—

PERRETTE: Wait a bit, Lucas we can wish that he be big and all grown up, when you wish what you want.

LUCAS: By Jove, I want him to be rich, too, that he have a mansion, a fine room, a hat and a gold braided outfit, like the general who lives around here. I wished that, Madame Fairy—BIRIBI-CREPS.

(The stage changes, the square disappears, and a room is seen in which are rich armchairs: Polichinel is seated in the middle on the ground.)

PERRETTE: Oh! I am still all atremble—what beautiful furniture! how rich!

LUCAS: Perrette, what's that on the ground over there?

POLICHINEL: Hey—hey—old woman

PERRETTE: Why—it's a man

POLICHINEL: A man, old woman—hey! I am Polichenel—P'p pol ll li ll chinel—hey.

LUCAS: Ah! great god, wife, he's got a braided hat and outfit; he's the child we asked for.

PERRETTE: Hunchback! (in despair) And I shall be his mother!

POLICHINEL: No, but old woman, hey—I'm trying to sleep, old woman— da, da, child, da— (he stretches out)

LUCAS: How he drags himself on the ground when there are so many beautiful chairs.

POLICHINEL: I am dragging myself on the ground, hey—I am not dragging myself on the ground, I am doing splits.

PERRETTE: Where are you from, Polichinel?

POLICHINEL: I am sleeping—da da—

PERRETTE: But have one eye open—

POLICHINEL But I am sleeping with the other one, hey.

PERRETTE: You don't intend to tell me where you are from?

POLICHINEL From Naples.

LUCAS: And why did you leave there?

POLICHINEL: Because I fought with the police, hey.

PERRETTE: It seems you are a bad actor?

POLICHINEL: I was drunk, old woman.

PERRETTE: Oh! the villainous child.

LUCAS: (to Polichinel) That way, you were really drinking good—say, Perrette, he's a hunchback, but he's not all bad; he has a happy look.

PERRETTE: Ah! Madame Fairy, save us from Polichinel, even if we must lose all his fortune with him.

(The set changes and the public square reappears as in the first scene.)

LUCAS: You've really improved things, wife—sure, that kid wasn't handsome, but still—

PERRETTE: Still, he was a hunchback, and he had no wits—make a wiser wish, and all will be straightened out. We were too ambitious and the fairy punished us.

LUCAS: Madame Fairy, I still wish a son; but we are no longer asking that he be rich, only that he be big; for my wife doesn't want to carry him around, let him be well made, for my wife doesn't like hunchbacks, finally let him be smart, 'cause my wife gets bored by dumbbells.

FAIRY'S VOICE: You are going to be obeyed.

(Harlequin appears.)

HARLEQUIN: Cricky! what a happy day; I get a daddy and a mommy. Hello, hello, my good parents.

LUCAS: Now this child, Perrette, he's dressed like a dancer.

HARLEQUIN: Without flattering myself, I make beautiful pirouettes, and I give dancing lessons to a very great lord. He is indeed amongst those Gentlemen who have imitated me so well in the art of succeeding by leaps and bounds, and turning quickly, and mindfully, without ever falling, and who have pretended they were true Harlequins. Cricky! He's an impostor, I am unique.

PERRETTE: Where were you before you came to this country?

HARLEQUIN: I was at Bergamao. I only left there rarely, for, if I except trips made to Paris, the one to appear in the Comedie Italienne, and the other to confer with Monsieur de Florian, I've never left my native town. But to find my father mustn't fear to rush.

LUCAS: By what way did you come?

HARLEQUIN: By way of the firmament, crossing the clouds, and on horseback with my sword.

PERRETTE: Say, Lucas, he's not bad, is he; only he's got to change his clothes.

HARLEQUIN: Oh! never.

PERRETTE: Do you think it's nice to be dressed in motley colors like this?

HARLEQUIN: Leave my clothes—you are then unaware to whom I owe them: Harlequin, poor Harlequin, orphaned from his birth, came into the world naked, and naked he remained. Two friends that he had in his infancy, each had a tailor for a father; they saw his misery, they took pity on it; one brought him pieces of a strip of green fabric, the other clippings from a red drape, and Harlequin was dressed. Since that time, I've always worn the same clothes, it's a souvenir that prevents me from being an ingrate. Myself, I've only added a few strips of yellow drape; I owe them to my dear Colombine, who takes care of me when our five children allow her a moment of rest.

PERRETTE: Who's this Colombine you are talking about?

HARLEQUIN: Cricky! she's a charming wife, the daughter of Monsieur Cassandre. She was so well brought up, my Colombine, and she married me despite her father.

PERRETTE: Fine education, truly.

HARLEQUIN: She loves me so much my Columbine! One day she made me eat a giblet of rabbit, that Gille had prepared for her—I've kept a noble residue of it, you see—this feather in my helmet.

LUCAS: And where is your Colombine?

HARLEQUIN: She's going to come with our five children and old Papa Cassandre; it's right for them to profit—

PERRETTE: A daughter-in-law and five children (approaching Lucas and in a low voice) If you trust me, husband, you would have recourse to those magic words—look at him carefully—see how black his face is— and a daughter-in-law!

LUCAS: Five little children to nourish—oh! yes, he really has a dark complexion. Madame Fairy, let it be with this one as it was with Polichinel. BIRIBI-CREPS.

(Harlequin vanishes.)

PERRETTE: Husband, you don't understand a thing with your wishes; let me do it. Madame Fairy, grant me a son, without children, who has no humps, and whose face isn't black.

(Gille appears.)

LUCAS: Heavens, now are we exacting. Who are you, my friend?

GILLE: Wow, I am Gille.

PERRETTE: We are your parents.

GILLE: My parents, wow.

PERRETTE: Yes, you are our son.

GILLE: Wow,

LUCAS: Ho! how he has the air of a ninny! and now look at his face; I'd prefer it to be black; what a sallow face; he's a horror—may the devil take him!

(The Devil comes and carries Gille away.)

PERRETTE: Husband, your fairy is making fun of us; trust me, let's not make any more wishes.

LUCAS: It's because we haven't been wise in our wishes; ask something reasonable, and you are going to see.

PERRETTE: You want me to—I agree to it: Madame fairy, I desire—

(A clock strikes two and the Fairy appears.)

FAIRY: The time of forbearance is up: you could have assured your happiness, and you wasted precious time on ridiculous wishes. You had to have a son all grown up, as if the heart of a mother ought to want to be freed of the cares and troubles which are mixed with the sweetest pleasures, and which become the wellspring of the most authentic tenderness; you had to have a rich son, so he would have scorned you in your misery? You have already received three useless lessons—I consent one last time to give you a final proof of my goodwill. I am permitting you one more wish—but consider carefully, it will be your last. (she vanishes)

LUCAS: Madame Fairy, touched by your kindness we are asking of your all powerfulness that which you think most appropriate to make us happy, as for example someone would say—

PERRETTE: What's he going to say?

LUCAS: As for example someone would say: a small cottage, nice enough, near a river, where I could fish, and a son who one day would be able to help me in my labors. (the scene changes: a little house appears in the midst of a pasture at the back of which flows a river) Oh, the charming habitation, oh! Perrette how happy we are going to be, but what do I hear?

(A cradle appears and one hears the cries of a baby.)

PERRETTE: (approaching the cradle) Lucas, my dear Lucas, it's a baby— how pretty he is. Madame Fairy, nothing is lacking to our happiness.

VOICE OF THE FAIRY: Lucas, Perrette, then be happy; but no more quarrels between you, for you will soon ruin all the happiness I am giving you; and remember well, that there is no greater enemy of trouble, than The Stillwater Fairy.

CURTAIN