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Roy Glashan's Library
Non sibi sed omnibus
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Astounding Science-Fiction, February 1942, with "Efficiency"
IN April 1942 Astounding Science-Fiction launched an open-ended series of "tall stories" under the general title "Probability Zero!" Writers were invited to submit contributions as entries in a competition, with prize money going to the first-, second- and third-placed stories each month.
The first three items published in the new series were: "Some Curious Effects of Time Travel," by Sprague de Camp; "Pig Trap," by Malcolm Jameson; and "Time Pussy," by George E. Dale.
Following the third item, the Editor printed the following description of the new series:
... The little items preceding were concocted, of course, by a sound trio of first-class, professional liars. In a length of this sort—some five hundred to seven hundred and fifty words—I think that there ought to be a number of excellent amateur liars, though. There may or may not be a "Probability Zero" department next month; the succeeding issue, however, will certainly have one—one concocted by amateurs and professionals alike. This month's supply of examples were bought at our standard space-rates; hereafter "Probability Zero" will be conducted as an open contest, wherein anyone equipped with a good, round prevarication is welcome. Readers will be invited to vote for the best of those published; the author of the winner will get twenty dollars, second place acquires ten, and third gets our check for five. Checks will be mailed as soon as the issue is decided.
To define the essence of the thing: We want science-fictional masterpieces that sound almost possible, but which are, as the department title states, "Probability Zero"—impossible by reason of known scientific law or by definition. They must be typed, double-spaced, and on one side of the usual size typewriter paper.
The old gag about truth being stranger than fiction is founded soundly; many an actual truth is highly implausible. We're looking for the exact reverse-something that's absolutely untrue, but highly plausible sounding.
For instance, it's a fact that a powerful jet of air—a real, roaring blast of air—will not blow a ball away; it will hold even a solid, fairly dense ball like a billiard ball supported in midair, pulling it back into the hardest, fastest part of the air-blast if it tries to waver out. That is obviously implausible; it happens to be true. It is also true that if you have a rope or chain running rapidly over two pulleys, with a considerable amount of slack in the chain, you can bend the chain's course into a loop—and have the loop stay there after removing the original deflecting force. The rapidly-moving chain will faithfully trace a course around the obstacle long after it has been removed, following a complicated S-course, even though under considerable tension. That's a rather implausible fact.
If facts can be that implausible, a good plausible lie should be fairly easy.
Click here to access a detailed bibliography of the Probability Zero! series in the Internet Speculative Fiction Database.
—Roy Glashan, 30 March 2022
EXCERPT from General Court Martial proceedings in the case of Eric Strolsund, Chief Tubeman, Interplanetary Patrol Force, serving on board the sky corvette Lisette as acting chief engineer. The charge against him was that of jettisoning three hundred tons of Government-owned rocket fuel during the flight from Lunar Base to Oberon.
President of the Court: Strolsund, you have heard the evidence, and have admitted the act. Have you anything to say in mitigation of your acts?"
The Accused: Yes, sir. Plenty. I did it to save the ship.
The Court: Elucidate.
The Accused: Well, sir, it was this way.
You know the Lisette is an old tub, and we had requisitions in for her modernization. Before we left Luna they put the extra parts aboard, and I was supposed to install them on the way out. That is what I did. First I pulled out our old Mark IV inspirators and stuck in the Eberle High-Life's. Then we junked the Morgan exciters and hooked up the new Universal super model. After that we wrapped the tube butts with Gilson coils so as to draw off the radiant heat to supply the supercharger auxiliaries. And then—
The Court: Don't be frivolous. All that is irrelevant and beside the point. Moreover, it is already a matter of record. So what?
The Accused: The bunkers began to bulge. I was afraid of the hull's splitting open and letting our air out. And since we were making fuel at the rate of ten tons a day, I thought it best to heave a few hundred over the side. That's all.
The Court: What is the point in mitigation you were trying to make?
The Accused: Well, sir, it was this way.
Those Eberle High-Life's are supposed to save thirty-five percent of your fuel; the Universal exciters save another fifty percent; the Gilson coils save another sixty-three percent; and the rest of the gadgets add up to around forty-one percent more. If you'll get a paper and pencil—
Roy Glashan's Library
Non sibi sed omnibus
Go to Home Page
This work is out of copyright in countries with a copyright
period of 70 years or less, after the year of the author's death.
If it is under copyright in your country of residence,
do not download or redistribute this file.
Original content added by RGL (e.g., introductions, notes,
RGL covers) is proprietary and protected by copyright.