MY BROTHER AND MY CHOSEN FRIEND:

The past few months have been difficult for you. They have involved decision, changes, much misunderstanding in certain quarters and a deeply sensed loneliness. If you will study what I have earlier told you anent your rays, you will see why this is so. There is in your present life makeup or "presented appearance," an over-balance of the first ray attributes. Your personality ray, your mind ray, and the ray of your physical body are all governed by your first ray energy and this presents a very real problem because it predisposes you to the following conditions:

1. A loneliness which is based on a sense of isolation. This is due also to the sense of isolation which the first ray always gives. It is essentially the ray of detachment. This is, for you, offset by your soul ray.
2. Owing to the fact that first ray energy in your case is focused in your personality and in two of its mediums of expression, you wield-owing to the unbalance and undue power or effect upon all you meet and seek to help. Fortunately for you, and also owing to the quality of your soul ray and to an achieved measure of control, your effect upon those you seek to serve is good. You [222] are, however, definitely aware (are you not?) of the powerful influence you can call into play and thus affect other people's lives. You know also the powerful reaction you can evoke from them. This is the effect of first ray force when focused upon the physical plane. It provides both an asset and a problem. You came into incarnation this life to learn to wield this force rightly and, in the effort to do so, you have in many cases inhibited its outer expression, sometimes with disastrous results (oft of a psychical nature) upon yourself.
3. Your emotional nature has been the clearing-house for all this first ray energy; this will account to you for much of your inner experience and for much that you have suffered and do suffer.

Having pointed this out, I would add that this powerfully polarized first ray personality gives you the power to do three things:

First of all, to storm the Kingdom of Heaven and take it by violence and consequently - in this life - to force certain issues and bring certain soul objectives to fruition. Be, therefore, encouraged.

Secondly, to make possible certain forms of service in your personality life. Earlier I have used a phrase to that effect when teaching you that "your intelligent mind can dominate at need." This was a statement of fact; one of the ways in which you can rightly use the first ray energy, predominantly yours, is by forcing mental issues and making yourself do what your soul or the Hierarchy asks of you...

This particular life has been a crucial and difficult one for [223] you but you are equal to the task your soul assigned. It will remain so and there is for you (as is always the case for disciples at a certain stage of unfoldment) no cessation, no easing of the situation and no periods or interludes for real rest or pause. Do not, therefore, look for them. Pass on triumphantly in the love of your soul and the power of your personality.