An explanation of the state of a soul in temptation and of the designs of God in regard to it.
One would imagine, my, good Sister, that you had never
meditated on those numerous texts of holy Scripture in which the
Holy Spirit makes us understand the necessity of temptation,
and the good fruit derived from it by souls who do not allow
themselves to become disheartened. Do you not know that it has
been compared to a furnace in which clay acquires hardness,
and gold is made brilliant; that it has been put before us as a
subject of rejoicing, and a sign of the friendship of God; an
indispensable lesson for the acquirement of the science of the
saints? If you were to recall to mind these consoling truths
you would not be able to give way to sadness. I declare to you
in the name of our Saviour that you have no reason to fear.
If you liked you could unite yourself to God as much or more
than at the times of your greatest fervour. For this you have
but one thing to do in your painful state, and this is to suffer
in peace, in silence, with an unshaken patience, and an entire
resignation, just as you would endure a fever or any other bodily
ailment. Say to yourself now and then what you would say
to a sick person to induce him to bear his pain with patience.
You would represent to him that by giving way to impatience,
or by murmuring he would only aggravate the evil and make it
last the longer. Well! this is what you ought to say to yourself.
I greatly approve of the order you have received to go to Holy
Communion without taking any notice of your temptations.
Your confessor is right, and would have made a great mistake
if he had listened to what you said on the subject. "But,"
you will say, "if I have consented to the temptation, and have
committed a mortal sin, what a misfortune!" It is not for
you to judge about it, but to obey blindly; and this opinion is
founded on the great principle that even should the confessor
be mistaken, the penitent cannot be misled in obeying in good
faith in the sight of God, those who are in the position of guides.
"But," you say again, "I should like to know how my confessor
can understand better than I what takes place in my soul during
1st. Neither examine, nor accuse yourself as a rule about these things.
2nd. Bear peacefully your humiliation and interior martyrdom which, I assure you, is a great grace from God, but a grace which you will not be able to understand properly till after the trial is over.
3rd. This is the interior petition which you ought to make incessantly to God. "Lord, deign to preserve me from all sin, especially in this matter; but, as for the pain which mortifies, and ought to cure my self-love, and the humiliation and holy abjection which gall my pride and ought to destroy it, I accept them for as long as You please, and I thank You for them as for a grace. Grant, Lord, that these bitter remedies may take effect and that they may cure my self-love and vanity, and help me to acquire holy humility and a low opinion of myself which will form a solid foundation for the spiritual life, and for all perfection: I find you very ignorant on the subject of temptation. It is true that it does not come from God, Who does not tempt anyone, as St. James says. It comes, therefore, either from the devil, or our own temperament and imagination; but since God permits it for our good, we ought to adore His holy permission in all things except sin which He detests, and which we also ought to detest for love of Him. Be careful, then, not to allow yourself to get troubled and harassed by these temptations, for this trouble is much more to be feared than the temptations themselves.
You tell me that you are travelling along the path that is very dark. That is exactly what is meant by "the way of pure faith." It is always obscure, and necessitates a complete abandonment to God. What could be more natural or more easy than to abandon yourself to so good and merciful a Father Who desires our welfare more than we do ourselves? "But," you add, "I am always in trouble and extremely afraid of having sinned; this makes life very miserable, and prevents me possessing the peace of the children of God." It is so for the present, I know, but I also know that by these continual terrors the salutary fear of God takes root in the soul, and is followed by love of Him. It is thus that God endeavours to make us disgusted with this life and with its false goods in order to attach us to Himself alone. Know that none can enjoy the peace of the children of God who have not shared their trials. Peace is only purchased by war, and is only enjoyed after victory. If you could only see as I do the advantages and good to be derived from the state in which God has permitted you to be; instead of repining as you do about it you would be making continual acts of thanksgiving. You are, you say, as deeply involved as the greatest sinners. Oh! my dear daughter, this is just what galls your pride. And what are we in truth but great sinners? Do we not carry about with us an amount of misery and corruption, which, without God's grace, would lead us into the grawest disorders? This is what God wishes to make us understand by personal experience without which we might live and die without ever attaining to a knowledge of our nothingness, the foundation of humility. Let us thank God for having solidly laid this foundation, necessary for the salvation of our souls, and also for the perfection of our state.
The thought and fear of the justice of the judgments of God is
a great grace, but do not spoil it by carrying this fear so far as to
be troubled and rendered uneasy by it; because the true and