Take courage, my dear Sister, and do not imagine that you are
far from God; on the contrary you have never been so near Him.
Recall to your mind the agony of our Lord in the Garden of
Olives, and you will understand that bitterness of feeling and
violent anguish are not incompatible with perfect submission.
They are the groanings of suffering nature and signs of the hardness of the sacrifice. To do nothing at such a time contrary
to the order of God, to utter no word of complaint or of distress,
is indeed perfect submission which proceeds from love, and love
of the purest description. Oh! if you only knew how in these
circumstances to do nothing, to say nothing, to remain in humble
silence full of respect, of faith, of adoration, of submission,
abandonment and sacrifice, you would have discovered the great
Firstly, when we desire all that pleases Him, and secondly when we have a great horror of sin, even the least, and strive never to commit any deliberately. Since God has given you the grace to take my favourite maxims to heart concerning submission, abandonment and sacrifice, be assured that He will enable you to practise them, however imperfectly. But as you are so impetuous about everything, you want to attain at one bound to the highest perfection in these virtues. That cannot be, you must attain to them gradually and even while committing many small faults which will serve to humble you, and to make you realise your great weakness before God. Interior rebellion in these circumstances does not prevent submission in the higher part of the soul. Read often the 57th letter in the third book by St. Francis of Sales. This letter has always charmed me. It will make clear to you the distinction between the two wills in the soul, the exact knowledge of which is an essential point in the spiritual life.