HOW THE MINGLING OF LOVE AND SORROW TAKES PLACE IN CONTRITION.
NATURE, as far as I know, never converts fire into water, though some waters turn into fire. Yet God did it once by miracle. For as it is written in the Book of Machabees,1 when the children of Israel were conducted into Babylon, in the time of Sedecias, the priests, by the counsel of Jeremias, hid the holy fire in a valley, in a dry well, and upon their return, the children of those that had hid it went to seek it, following the direction their fathers had given them, and they found it converted into a thick water, which being drawn by them, and poured upon the sacrifices, as Nehemias commanded was, when the sunbeams touched it, converted into a great fire.
Theotimus, amongst the tribulations and remorse of a lively
repentance God often puts in the bottom of our heart the sacred
fire of his love, this love is converted into the water of tears,
they by a second change into another and greater fire of love.
Thus the famous penitent lover first loved her Saviour, her love
was converted into tears, and these tears into an excellent love;
whence Our Saviour told her that many sins were pardoned her
because she had loved much.2 And as we see fire turns wine into a certain water which is called almost everywhere aquavitae, which so easily takes and augments fire that in many places it is also termed ardent; so the amorous consideration of the goodness which, while it ought to have been sovereignty loved, has
been offended by sin, produces the water of holy penitence; and
from this water the fire of divine love issues, thence properly
termed water of life or ardent. Penitence is indeed a
water in its substance, being a true displeasure, a real sorrow and repentance; yet is it ardent, in that it contains the virtue and
properties of love, as arising from a motive of love, and by this
property it gives the life of grace. So that perfect penitence
has two different effects; for in virtue of its sorrow and detestation
But I do not mean to say that the perfect love of God, by which we love him above all things, always precedes this repentance, or that this repentance always precedes this love. For though it often so happens, still at other times, as soon as divine love is born in our hearts, penitence is born within the love, and oftentimes penitence entering into our heart, love enters in penitence. And as when Esau was born, Jacob his twin brother held him by the foot, that their births might not only follow the one the other, but also might cleave together and be intermingled; so repentance, rude and rough in regard of its pain, is born first, as another Esau; and love, gentle and gracious as Jacob, holds him by the foot, and cleaves unto him so closely that their birth is but one, since the end of the birth of repentance is the beginning of that of perfect love. Now as Esau first appeared so repentance ordinarily makes itself to be seen before love, but love, as another Jacob, although the younger, afterwards subdues penitence, converting it into consolation.
Mark, I pray you, Theotimus, the well-beloved Magdalen, how she weeps with love: They have taken away my Lord, says she, melting into tears; and I know not where they have laid him,3 but having with sighs and tears found him, she holds and possesses him by love. Imperfect love desires and runs after him, penitence seeks and finds him; perfect love holds and clasps him. It is with it as is said to be with Ethiopian rubies, whose fire is naturally very faint, but when they are dipped in vinegar it sparkles out and casts a most brilliant lustre: for the love which goes before repentance is ordinarily imperfect; but being steeped in the sharpness of penitence, it gains strength end becomes excellent love.
It even happens sometimes that repentance, though perfect,
So Theriacum-wine is not so named because it contains the
proper substance of Theriacum, for there is none at all in it;
but it is so called because the plant of the vine having been
steeped in Theriacum, the grapes and the wine which have
sprung from it have drawn into themselves the virtue and operation of Theriacum against all sorts of poison. We must not
therefore think it strange if penitence, according to the Holy
scripture, blots out sin, saves the soul, makes her grateful
Nor must we wonder that the force of love should be found in penitence before love be formed in it, since we see that by the reflection of the rays of the sun beating upon a mirror, heat, which is the virtue and the proper quality of fire, grows by little and little so strong that it begins to burn before it has yet well produced the fire, or at least before we have perceived it. For so the Holy Ghost casting into our understanding the consideration of the greatness of our sins, in that by them we have offended so sovereign a goodness, and our will receiving the reflection of this knowledge, repentance by little and little grows so strong, with a certain affective heat and desire to return into grace with God, that in fine this movement comes to such a height, that it burns and unites even before the love be fully formed, though love, as a sacred fire, is always at once lighted, at this point. So that repentance never comes to this height of burning and re-uniting the heart to God, which is her utmost perfection, without finding herself wholly converted into fire and flame of love, the end of the one giving the other a beginning; or rather, the end of penitence is within the commencement of love, as Esau's foot was within Jacob's hand; in such sort that while Esau was ending his birth, Jacob was beginning his, the end of the one's birth being joined anal fastened to, yea, what is more, included in, the beginning of the other's: for so the beginning of perfect love not only follows the end of penitence but even cleaves and ties itself to it; and to say all in one word, this beginning of love mingles itself with the end of penitence, and in this moment of mingling, penitence and contrition merit life everlasting.
Now because this loving repentance is ordinarily practised by
elevations and raisings of the heart to God, line to those of the
ancient penitents: I am thine, save thou me. Have mercy on me,
0 God, have mercy on me: for my soul trusteth in thee! Save
me, 0 God; for the waters are come in even unto my soul! Make
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