208. The second account:
When I was once thinking about the secrets of conjugial love that wives hide and keep to themselves, I again saw the golden rain that I mentioned before;* and I remembered that it fell like mist upon a hall in the east, where three pictures of conjugial love lived, that is, three married couples who loved each other tenderly. On seeing it, I hastened in that direction, as though bidden by the sweetness of my reflection on that love; and as I approached, the rain turned from gold to purple, then scarlet, and when I was almost there, it became opalescent like dew. I knocked and the door was opened. So I said to the attendant, "Convey to the husbands that one who was here before with an angel is present again, seeking permission to come in and speak with them." When the attendant returned, he indicated the husbands' assent and I entered. The three husbands and their wives were together in a courtyard, and they returned my greeting warmly. I then asked the wives whether the white dove had ever appeared at the window again. They said it had appeared that very day, and also had spread its wings. "We therefore anticipated your coming," they said, "to entreat us to reveal one more secret of conjugial love." "But why do you say one," I asked, "when I have come here to learn many more?" [2] "They are secrets," they replied, "and some of them so transcend the wisdom of you men that the comprehension of your intellect cannot grasp them. You men vaunt yourselves over us on account of your wisdom, but we do not vaunt ourselves over you on account of ours - even though our wisdom is superior to yours because it enters into your inclinations and affections and sees, perceives and feels them. "You know nothing at all about the inclinations and affections of your love, and this despite the fact that it is because of them and in accordance with them that your intellect thinks, consequently that it is because of them and in accordance with them that you have your wisdom. Yet wives know these things in their husbands so well that they see them in their husbands's faces and hear them in the intonations of the speech of their mouth - indeed so well that they feel them with the touch of their hands on their husbands' breasts, arms and cheeks. But from a zealous love for your happiness and at the same time our own, we pretend as if we do not know these things, while at the same time moderating them so discreetly that whatever our husbands' wish, pleasure or will, we accede to it by allowing and enduring it, and only redirecting it when possible, but never compelling." [3] "How is it that you have this wisdom?" I asked. They replied, "It is implanted in us from creation and so from birth. Our husbands liken it to an instinct, but we say it comes of Divine providence, in order that men may be made happy through their wives. Our husbands have told us that it is the Lord's will that the masculine sex act in freedom in accord with reason; and since a man's freedom involves his inclinations and affections, therefore the Lord Himself moderates his freedom from within, and through his wife from without, and so forms the man and his wife together into an angel of heaven. Besides, if love is compelled, its fundamental nature changes and it becomes no longer the same love. "But we will explain it more frankly. We are moved to this - that is, to a discreet moderation of the inclinations and affections of our husbands, so discreet that it seems to them that they act in freedom in accord with their own reason - because we feel delight from their love, and we love nothing more than for them to feel delight from our feelings of delight. But if these feelings become matters of indifference in them, they also begin to fade in us." [4] When they had said this, one of the wives went into her bedroom, and returning said, "My dove is still fluttering its wings - a sign that we may divulge more." So they said, "We have observed changes in the inclinations and affections of men in a variety of cases. For instance, husbands are cold to their wives whenever they entertain vain thoughts against the Lord and the church. They are cold whenever they pride themselves because of their own intelligence. They are cold whenever they look upon other women with lust. They are cold whenever they are admonished by their wives on the subject of love. We could mention a number of other instances as well, including the fact that the coldness they feel varies in each case. We notice this from the withdrawal of feeling from their eyes, ears and body when their senses meet ours. "From these few illustrations you can see that we know better than men whether all is well with them or not. If they are cold to their wives, all is not well with them, but if they are warm to their wives it is. Wives are therefore continually turning over in their minds ways of inducing their men to be warm to them and not cold, and they do this with a keenness of perception incomprehensible to men." [5] As they said this, we heard what seemed to be the sound of a dove moaning; and at that point the wives said, "That is a signal to us that although we are eager to divulge still deeper secrets, we may not. Perhaps you will expose to men the secrets you have heard." "That is my intention," I replied. "What harm will it do?" After conferring with each other about this, the wives then said, "Disclose them if you wish. We are not unacquainted with the power of persuasion possessed by wives. Indeed, they will say to their husbands, 'The man is fooling. They are fictions. He is trying to amuse with appearances and the usual nonsense typical of men. Do not believe him; believe us. We know that you are the lovers and we your humble servants.' "So," they said, "disclose them if you wish; but the husbands' attention will not hang on your lips, but on the lips of their wives which they kiss." * See no. 155[r].