1 00:00:07,607 --> 00:00:12,704 Sir Francis Bacon wrote, God Almighty first planted a garden, 2 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:17,943 and indeed it is the purest of human pleasures. 3 00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:25,118 "Cultivators of the earth," according to Thomas Jefferson, 4 00:00:25,258 --> 00:00:27,123 are the most valuable citizens. 5 00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:28,887 They are the most vigorous, 6 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:32,624 the most independent, the most virtuous. 7 00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:39,601 Or, as my aunt Mildred said, 8 00:00:39,739 --> 00:00:42,435 Never throw meat in the compost pile. 9 00:00:43,943 --> 00:00:48,141 Hi, I'm Leslie Nielsen. Welcome to my garden. 10 00:00:48,281 --> 00:00:54,777 I'm sure it's a lot like yours cool, serene, completely under control. 11 00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:58,390 Time to wake up and smell the roses. 12 00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:00,555 The backyard is a killing field. 13 00:01:00,693 --> 00:01:03,127 It's a realm of stalkers... 14 00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:05,264 serial killers... 15 00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:10,059 aerial combat... 16 00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:12,403 venom... 17 00:01:14,474 --> 00:01:15,873 death. 18 00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:20,575 So, if you're looking for peace and quiet... 19 00:01:20,713 --> 00:01:22,704 stay away from the... 20 00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:24,749 savage garden. 21 00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:31,279 A garden is a little slice of nature where you get to call the shots. 22 00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:37,049 You see: A raked lawn. A well-skimmed lily pond. 23 00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:39,988 Perfect rows of vegetables. 24 00:02:40,126 --> 00:02:45,029 Voltaire once wrote, or was it Martha Stewart? 25 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,656 We must cultivate our garden. 26 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,769 Well, they're both wrong. 27 00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:55,140 Pruning, planting, whacking your weeds? 28 00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:56,970 It's all beside the point! 29 00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,668 Because the place cannot be controlled 30 00:02:58,811 --> 00:03:01,609 So give it up! 31 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,318 Ask not what you can do for your garden. 32 00:03:06,452 --> 00:03:09,182 Ask what your garden can do for you. 33 00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:13,884 Because with the right approach, your backyard can expand your mind. 34 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,860 But you need the right tool for the job. 35 00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:19,692 A famous gardener once said, 36 00:03:19,832 --> 00:03:21,424 I like to watch. 37 00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:24,093 Because when you're "gardening," you're too busy to see anything. 38 00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:26,102 And you're missing all the strange and wonderful 39 00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:29,436 wildness of a place that's close to home. 40 00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,806 And I don't mean the mall. 41 00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:36,939 Now this may come as a surprise, but I wasn't always this wise. 42 00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:39,381 But I came face-to-face with the naked garden 43 00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:41,680 and I was forced to open my eyes. 44 00:03:41,821 --> 00:03:47,157 What I discovered wasn't always pretty but it was always fascinating. 45 00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,124 Let me tell how it happened. 46 00:03:49,262 --> 00:03:51,321 It began about a year ago. 47 00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:54,160 I felt like a pretty observant fellow then. 48 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:59,761 I ran a tight ship. Yeah, I thought I was in charge. 49 00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:08,371 Still, the vegetable patch held to its own pace... 50 00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:11,449 always about a month behind my appetite! 51 00:04:22,128 --> 00:04:28,260 Every day, until my tomatoes were ripe I'd be there, watchful and proud. 52 00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:38,902 I felt like a maestro, and the vegetables were my orchestra. 53 00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:42,446 And we made beautiful gazpacho together. 54 00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:48,111 I never suspected that even among my precious tomatoes, 55 00:04:48,254 --> 00:04:50,552 a trespasser ran amok. 56 00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:53,556 It was a shrew. 57 00:04:54,594 --> 00:05:00,032 This ravenous pipsqueak needs to eat his weight in food every day. 58 00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:05,295 For his size, he's one of the fiercest predators in the world. 59 00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:08,601 But a year ago, I didn't even know he existed. 60 00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:09,969 My mind was in the mulch. 61 00:05:10,109 --> 00:05:13,567 I was too busy savoring the fruits of my labor. 62 00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:19,151 I don't like to brag, but I thought I knew my onions. 63 00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:30,360 Now all the while, this little fellow he weighs no more than a wet tea bag 64 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,930 had the run of the place. 65 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:07,125 Like it or not, shrews are among the garden's most common mammals. 66 00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:12,629 They love to dig around for worms and beetles, spiders, snails. 67 00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:15,532 They work day and night, hunting one hour, 68 00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:17,666 then napping the next. 69 00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:20,210 That's a schedule I could settle into. 70 00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:23,344 Shrews operate at such a furious pace 71 00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:26,008 that just missing a meal could kill them. 72 00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:30,589 When they're on the go, they really live life in the fast lane. 73 00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:35,990 Under stress, their hearts beat up to 1,300 times a minute 74 00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,723 like mine during my last audit. 75 00:06:42,668 --> 00:06:46,297 It's safe to say that no perfume maker has ever been inspired by a shrew. 76 00:06:46,439 --> 00:06:49,272 Glands on their bellies put out a musky smell. 77 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:54,073 Only a predator with a strong stomach will take one on. 78 00:06:55,848 --> 00:06:59,875 The garter snake is tough enough for the job. 79 00:07:08,327 --> 00:07:10,124 He's one of the backyard's great hunters 80 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,891 at home in the water as well as on land. 81 00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:20,772 He tastes the air with his tongue and picks up a whiff of a shrew. 82 00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:30,815 Following the trail, the snake closes in. 83 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:34,044 His weapon: A steel-trap jaw. 84 00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:39,520 A fight is coming, but my little shrew is no babe in the woods. 85 00:07:43,529 --> 00:07:45,793 Predicting a winner might be hard. 86 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:50,733 The snake has no venom, but his quarry does. 87 00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:54,196 The short-tailed shrew is the only North American mammal 88 00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:58,709 with a poisonous bite, except for my Aunt Mildred. 89 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,672 In this fight, the first bite wins. 90 00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:08,551 The shrew strikes for the neck. 91 00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:24,528 His cobralike venom quickly starts to subdue the snake. 92 00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:30,834 Muscles go slack, breathing slows. 93 00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:35,778 Paralysis would soon set in if the shrew weren't so hungry. 94 00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:43,650 The snake has been vanquished by the one creature in my yard 95 00:08:43,789 --> 00:08:46,519 there is no taming of. 96 00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:50,725 What a place my garden was! 97 00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:55,391 I'd reached for the suburbs and ended up in the Serengeti! 98 00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:58,904 Something awful seemed to stir in every crevice. 99 00:09:04,343 --> 00:09:07,904 This beetle is emerging after three years underground. 100 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:13,650 She's an acorn weevil 101 00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:17,517 a subversive devil about the size of a grain of rice. 102 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:23,791 I felt like her goal in life was to wreck my oak trees. 103 00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:47,009 As soon as she dries off her wings for her maiden flight, 104 00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:51,146 off she'll go... gunning for my acorns. 105 00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:53,850 But I didn't know any of this back then. 106 00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:58,862 I had other fish to fry, like keeping my daisies from drooping. 107 00:09:58,998 --> 00:10:01,193 Of course, now I know... 108 00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:04,462 I didn't even have control of my own flower patch. 109 00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:10,067 Just below me, an earwig was laying her eggs. 110 00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:15,306 This forbidding insect seems to have had a charisma bypass. 111 00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,049 But don't sell her short. 112 00:10:22,188 --> 00:10:26,955 The female cleans each egg to protect it from deadly fungus. 113 00:10:27,526 --> 00:10:32,759 Otherwise she might lose the entire nest to athlete's egg. 114 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,734 Earwigs like to hang out in warm, dark spaces. 115 00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:40,168 But that bit about hiding in people's ears? 116 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,206 Just a tired, old myth. 117 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,007 I hope. 118 00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:52,875 A terrible threat approaches... at its own pace. 119 00:10:57,123 --> 00:11:01,457 The earwig nest is about to be slimed. 120 00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:09,892 There's nothing a caring mother can do. 121 00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:14,437 A hungry thrush spots the snail. 122 00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:22,270 Her next meal will be escargot. 123 00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:28,385 Remove the snail from its shell... delicately. 124 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:33,857 Then tenderize by pounding on a rock. 125 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:39,559 The footage you are about to see contains scenes 126 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,327 that may be disturbing to some viewers. 127 00:11:42,468 --> 00:11:46,199 Now if you can't stand theheat, get out of the garden! 128 00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:52,036 Speaking of the heat, I'd like you to meet a fire ant. 129 00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:57,346 These South American invaders work in huge colonies. 130 00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:59,474 They run an efficient operation. 131 00:11:59,618 --> 00:12:01,483 A quarter-million ants 132 00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:03,713 that's one extended family, 133 00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:06,086 can get by on two meals a day. 134 00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:13,724 Here's the appetizer. 135 00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:17,825 And now for the main course. 136 00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:23,998 An ant attacks. 137 00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:29,508 The dragonfly shakes a leg. 138 00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:33,444 Reinforcements are quick to arrive. 139 00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:37,984 The dragonfly makes a desperate move. 140 00:12:38,657 --> 00:12:40,147 It's too late. 141 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,625 Again and again, 142 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,526 the dragonfly is stung with a caustic venom. 143 00:12:45,664 --> 00:12:48,394 It's death by a thousand fiery jabs. 144 00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:51,367 And I thought paparazzi were bad! 145 00:12:57,343 --> 00:13:00,039 Piece by piece, the ants dismantle their captive, 146 00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:02,306 like a scene out of Gulliver's Travels 147 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:05,246 Make that Reservoir Dogs. 148 00:13:07,086 --> 00:13:11,716 For the ants, it's Tails I win... heads, you lose. 149 00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:15,022 Decapitation is the final insult. 150 00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:24,200 Some say the world will end in fire ants. 151 00:13:24,336 --> 00:13:28,033 For the dragonfly, it just did. 152 00:13:32,444 --> 00:13:34,435 I thought the garden was mine, 153 00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:37,140 but in fact, creatures had claimed it all! 154 00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:40,514 My yard was divided into warring camps! 155 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,951 Each shrew controls its own patch. 156 00:13:43,088 --> 00:13:47,752 And being some of nature's crankiest creatures, shrews do not like to share. 157 00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:51,157 My little shrew's neighbor is sleeping 158 00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:56,428 just over the scent marked border that defines their territories. 159 00:14:06,278 --> 00:14:09,270 But while these little fellows have a great sense of smell, 160 00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:15,149 they have poor vision and can sometimes bump right into each other. 161 00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:18,349 It's usually a nasty surprise for both. 162 00:14:23,095 --> 00:14:25,791 The winner of this battle may gain the other's territory. 163 00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:28,229 The loser may end up as lunch. 164 00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:34,036 They move faster than Aunt Mildred dealing blackjack. 165 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:43,942 It's extreme wrestling on a tiny scale 166 00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:53,516 Time out while they play to the grandstands. 167 00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:58,059 Now back to the action. 168 00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:11,772 No one knows if shrews are immune to their own venom. 169 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:15,608 But if they're not, they really shouldn't be doing this. 170 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,851 A battle can last over half an hour, 171 00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:29,393 but my little shrew settles this one quickly with a well-placed nip. 172 00:15:30,562 --> 00:15:32,689 No turf will change hands today. 173 00:15:32,831 --> 00:15:35,527 And both scurry back to their homes. 174 00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,466 I used to do battle in the garden myself. 175 00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,904 I felt it was my territory, and I had to defend it. 176 00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:45,237 Sure I had big weapons. 177 00:15:45,377 --> 00:15:48,938 But I was starting to worry about the little things. 178 00:15:50,916 --> 00:15:53,146 Something was bothering me. 179 00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:57,655 I couldn't put my finger on it. Lucky for me. 180 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:03,656 Black widows were living in my shed. 181 00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:12,062 The male is outweighed 30-fold by a no-nonsense female. 182 00:16:17,776 --> 00:16:21,439 He approaches, tapping carefully to woo her 183 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:23,980 and to avoid her lethal bite. 184 00:16:24,416 --> 00:16:28,284 If we could understand his vibes of love, it would go like, 185 00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:31,355 Please baby, please baby, please don't kill me! 186 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:45,566 So far, so good. She lets him insert sperm by hand. 187 00:16:45,704 --> 00:16:47,467 I mean, by palp. 188 00:16:53,645 --> 00:16:56,808 Part of the limb may snap off to be left inside. 189 00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:03,188 Ah love, For this glorious moment, 190 00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:06,223 he's ready to give an arm and a leg. 191 00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:14,891 Now the female lays her eggs. 192 00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:34,179 She secures over 200 of them in a silky sac. 193 00:17:36,422 --> 00:17:38,390 Not one to put all her eggs in one basket, 194 00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:41,288 she'll eventually spin about five. 195 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,797 In only two weeks, 196 00:17:46,932 --> 00:17:51,892 a thousand new spiderlings will invade my yard. 197 00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:56,574 Black widows may have colonized my shed... 198 00:17:56,708 --> 00:18:01,168 but I was more worried about what was going on outside. 199 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,645 I was prepared to fight the good fight 200 00:18:05,784 --> 00:18:08,446 with chemical warfare. 201 00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:16,258 As I was saying, 202 00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:19,228 I had no idea the enemy was living in my armory. 203 00:18:19,364 --> 00:18:21,457 It was bad enough outside. 204 00:18:32,544 --> 00:18:34,034 My stems were being sucked! 205 00:18:34,179 --> 00:18:38,172 My leaves lacerated! My petals perforated! 206 00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:54,927 It was more than a man could bear! 207 00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:58,835 Who could blame me if I practiced tough love? 208 00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:08,244 Smells like... victory. 209 00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:12,042 But I was no winner. 210 00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:15,381 My insecticide, long expired, 211 00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:18,820 had all the kick of a Shirley Temple: 212 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,486 And just as well, because the mantis 213 00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:26,064 loves to munch on the munchers I was trying to murder. 214 00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:28,565 The way things were going, 215 00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:33,763 I didn't have a prayer of taming the savage garden. 216 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,509 I used to call 'em as I saw 'em. 217 00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:43,740 When I saw 'em, if I knew what they were called. 218 00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,110 Trouble is, some of these 219 00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:48,117 pesky little critters were neither fish nor fowl. 220 00:19:50,656 --> 00:19:53,454 Like the daddy-longlegs in my shed. 221 00:19:55,360 --> 00:20:00,127 They're familiar and strange at the same time. 222 00:20:00,999 --> 00:20:02,762 But what are they? 223 00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,002 Think it's a spider? 224 00:20:12,511 --> 00:20:14,069 No. 225 00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:20,151 Insect? 226 00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:21,975 No. 227 00:20:22,688 --> 00:20:28,627 They're called Opiliones from the Latin meaning "aphid sucker." 228 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:29,658 Yeah! 229 00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:36,032 Aphids are perfect suckers, really, 230 00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:37,999 when it comes to my rose stems. 231 00:20:38,136 --> 00:20:41,572 And a lot more than one is born every minute at least in my backyard. 232 00:20:41,707 --> 00:20:46,804 In fact, aphids can reproduce without having sex! 233 00:20:46,945 --> 00:20:50,278 There's one of nature's lousier ideas. 234 00:20:53,318 --> 00:20:56,481 Daddy-longlegs has arrived for the hunt! 235 00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:58,613 Make that mommy-longlegs. 236 00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:02,056 She has legs up to here! 237 00:21:02,694 --> 00:21:06,755 Each is slender as a thread and works partly by hydraulics. 238 00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:13,461 She even hears, tastes, and smells using her legs. 239 00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:17,541 Reminds me of... never mind. 240 00:21:27,886 --> 00:21:30,878 I now know there's a lot to admire in this creature. 241 00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:35,050 She has pretty good manners. She chews her food before eating it, 242 00:21:35,193 --> 00:21:37,787 granted, outside her mouth. 243 00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:41,864 She sucks up the juices through a flexible tube. 244 00:21:47,372 --> 00:21:50,102 She also flosses after every meal. 245 00:21:50,242 --> 00:21:52,904 I prefer unwaxed mint, myself. 246 00:21:56,615 --> 00:22:00,381 Why are daddy-longlegs' legs long? 247 00:22:00,852 --> 00:22:03,719 To keep their plump bodies high above predators. 248 00:22:03,855 --> 00:22:04,753 If that's not enough, 249 00:22:04,890 --> 00:22:07,552 two legs put out a nasty smell to discourage hunters. 250 00:22:07,693 --> 00:22:08,887 But trust me: 251 00:22:09,027 --> 00:22:12,087 If you can smell them, you're too close. 252 00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:17,434 The smelly legs also have built-in seismographs. 253 00:22:17,569 --> 00:22:21,801 And she's keeping her legs peeled for approaching enemies. 254 00:22:21,940 --> 00:22:25,535 Like the tiger beetle. A killing machine. 255 00:22:25,677 --> 00:22:28,805 An orthodontist's nightmare. 256 00:22:45,664 --> 00:22:47,825 The beetle attacks 257 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:49,790 and grabs a leg. 258 00:23:00,078 --> 00:23:01,705 It's a tug-of-war. 259 00:23:03,281 --> 00:23:07,650 And then built for quick release the leg pops off. 260 00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:11,181 Special muscles close off the stump. 261 00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:17,152 The tiger beetle, no genius, hangs on to its prize. 262 00:23:21,299 --> 00:23:23,563 The daddy-longlegs hobbles off. 263 00:23:23,702 --> 00:23:28,833 But at least she's still alive and kicking. 264 00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:42,277 In the middle of all the mayhem, 265 00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:45,083 beauty still flourished in my garden. 266 00:23:51,797 --> 00:23:54,994 I never could train my vines 267 00:24:16,254 --> 00:24:19,155 Where flowers grow, bees abound. 268 00:24:26,164 --> 00:24:30,225 In a naughty little quid pro quo, bees handle the flowers' sex life 269 00:24:30,368 --> 00:24:33,030 in exchange for a drizzle of nectar. 270 00:24:35,106 --> 00:24:38,269 The life of a worker bee is measured in distance not days. 271 00:24:38,410 --> 00:24:41,106 It's like a frequent-flyer program in reverse: 272 00:24:41,246 --> 00:24:44,682 Fly 500 miles, and then you die. 273 00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:51,751 Now, I've been in a "B" movie or two, 274 00:24:51,890 --> 00:24:53,881 so I used to think I had a way with these critters. 275 00:24:54,025 --> 00:24:58,018 But then came the fateful moment when I realized that all of the 276 00:24:58,163 --> 00:25:01,223 garden was not under my spell. 277 00:25:14,846 --> 00:25:18,509 One day a bee came up to me and stopped to pay her respects. 278 00:25:23,221 --> 00:25:27,123 But this cheeky bug was testing the boundaries. 279 00:25:56,087 --> 00:25:58,647 It was a small infraction, but it threw me. 280 00:25:59,491 --> 00:26:01,755 If she could question authority, 281 00:26:01,893 --> 00:26:04,487 what else was going on in my little Eden? 282 00:26:05,030 --> 00:26:06,258 Well, plenty. 283 00:26:06,631 --> 00:26:10,624 I'd only seen the tip of the iceberg... lettuce. 284 00:26:16,441 --> 00:26:19,274 No creature was safe, not even the little upstart of a bee. 285 00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:23,541 She was being watched by many eyes. 286 00:26:24,015 --> 00:26:25,573 Eight to be exact. 287 00:26:25,717 --> 00:26:28,686 They all belong to a jumping spider. 288 00:26:29,321 --> 00:26:32,051 It never hurts to have eyes in the back of your head... 289 00:26:32,190 --> 00:26:35,057 even if they're only good for seeing movement. 290 00:26:35,193 --> 00:26:39,527 To see what is moving, the spider must turn to face her prey. 291 00:26:39,664 --> 00:26:42,292 She's caught sight of the bee. 292 00:26:44,469 --> 00:26:47,302 Two large front eyes track the prey. 293 00:26:48,740 --> 00:26:50,537 She can't move her eyes as we do. 294 00:26:50,675 --> 00:26:55,669 But she can swing her retinas back and forth inside her head. 295 00:26:55,814 --> 00:26:58,783 It's like holding your eyes still 296 00:26:58,917 --> 00:27:02,785 and then trying to look around by moving your brain. 297 00:27:09,394 --> 00:27:10,759 Don't try this at home! 298 00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:16,597 There: You can see the eyes lighten and darken as the spider looks around. 299 00:27:21,740 --> 00:27:26,507 Being among the smartest of spiders, she doesn't head straight for her prey. 300 00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:29,614 Instead, she approaches deviously. 301 00:27:29,748 --> 00:27:32,216 She's an accomplished stalker. 302 00:27:39,958 --> 00:27:44,793 Like a slasher film victim, the bee is unaware of danger. 303 00:27:53,738 --> 00:27:57,139 Good luck for the spider: The bee flies even closer. 304 00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:01,642 The spider creeps up. 305 00:28:13,258 --> 00:28:15,783 The spider is now within range. 306 00:28:16,461 --> 00:28:19,555 Meanwhile, the bee laps up nectar with her remarkable tongue. 307 00:28:19,698 --> 00:28:21,097 It's long and hairy, 308 00:28:21,232 --> 00:28:24,201 like mine the morning after a guacamole festival. 309 00:28:33,411 --> 00:28:36,710 The spider must judge the bee's exact distance. 310 00:28:51,129 --> 00:28:54,292 Just one false move and the spider will suffer a sting, 311 00:28:54,432 --> 00:28:58,596 lose her meal... and perhaps her life. 312 00:29:18,123 --> 00:29:21,183 The spider definitely got the jump on the bee. 313 00:29:28,700 --> 00:29:34,104 Poor bee: She had a good 80 miles left on her. 314 00:29:49,754 --> 00:29:54,782 Earthworms as big as fire hoses. 315 00:29:57,128 --> 00:30:03,363 Bald eagles snatching up babies from strollers. 316 00:30:05,436 --> 00:30:09,532 Woolly mammoths taking down a Seven Eleven. 317 00:30:11,843 --> 00:30:16,143 Well, you will not be seeing anything like that in this film. 318 00:30:16,281 --> 00:30:22,049 But you will be seeing the hard cold truth about the garden. 319 00:30:22,187 --> 00:30:24,712 To me, my garden was filled with sneaky, 320 00:30:24,856 --> 00:30:28,952 willful creatures that seemed to enjoy getting my dandruff up. 321 00:30:29,093 --> 00:30:30,993 And worst of all, they didn't respect me. 322 00:30:31,129 --> 00:30:34,826 So I didn't respect them until 323 00:30:34,966 --> 00:30:39,733 I learned to pay attention... close attention. 324 00:30:40,171 --> 00:30:42,332 Now that's harder to do than you think 325 00:30:42,473 --> 00:30:45,340 Now some people can have their eyes wide open and see nothing. 326 00:30:45,476 --> 00:30:50,778 Other people can have their eyes closed and watch reruns of Bonanza, 327 00:30:50,915 --> 00:30:54,112 but that's not a problem I want to discuss right now. 328 00:30:54,252 --> 00:30:56,777 Or you can have this eye closed and this eye open. 329 00:30:56,921 --> 00:31:01,358 Or you can have this eye closed and this eye open. 330 00:31:01,492 --> 00:31:06,589 And either way it gets you... nowhere. 331 00:31:14,639 --> 00:31:17,335 As I was saying, respect your garden. 332 00:31:17,475 --> 00:31:18,772 Watch it closely. 333 00:31:18,910 --> 00:31:22,107 I wish I had learned these lessons sooner myself. 334 00:31:23,681 --> 00:31:27,742 At the time, some lessons were too elevated for me to learn. 335 00:31:28,253 --> 00:31:31,051 Even above my garden, trouble was brewing. 336 00:31:36,027 --> 00:31:38,359 The acorn weevil was back. 337 00:31:38,496 --> 00:31:41,021 Sure enough, she found my oak tree. 338 00:31:43,368 --> 00:31:45,131 She's looking for a good meal. 339 00:31:45,270 --> 00:31:49,536 And when it comes to acorns, she knows the drill. 340 00:31:50,041 --> 00:31:52,771 What a "schnoz"! 341 00:31:53,144 --> 00:31:55,544 It's longer than her body and tipped with tiny jaws. 342 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:58,012 Reminds me of my first agent. 343 00:32:01,119 --> 00:32:05,419 After a three-year fast, she's eating my acorns. 344 00:32:05,556 --> 00:32:07,456 Ind of like my second agent. 345 00:32:07,592 --> 00:32:11,426 There goes the next generation of oak trees, I mean. 346 00:32:14,265 --> 00:32:17,530 Her little jaws are smaller than a printed period. 347 00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:20,496 Helvetica twelve point. 348 00:32:22,206 --> 00:32:27,109 Through her strawlike proboscis, she sucks up liquid fat from the acorn. 349 00:32:27,245 --> 00:32:29,509 It's a perfect diet for a weevil, 350 00:32:29,647 --> 00:32:33,606 but don't eventhink about it if you're on Jenny Craig. 351 00:32:40,224 --> 00:32:41,953 Next she'll lay her egg inside, 352 00:32:42,093 --> 00:32:45,551 but only if this is the one kind of oak tree that suits her. 353 00:32:45,697 --> 00:32:48,495 Finicky, this little pest. 354 00:33:06,484 --> 00:33:08,782 Ah, evening was coming. 355 00:33:12,924 --> 00:33:18,328 A heron approached my pond. Don't even think about fishing here! 356 00:33:24,635 --> 00:33:29,629 Sometimes even the darker side had a gentleness about it 357 00:33:30,208 --> 00:33:32,199 unless you're a slug. 358 00:33:42,954 --> 00:33:46,549 Dusk was the time for creatures large and small to rest 359 00:33:46,691 --> 00:33:49,319 and enjoy the harmony of our domain. 360 00:33:51,295 --> 00:33:55,857 Especially the lucky few that had escaped my iron-fist policy. 361 00:33:59,504 --> 00:34:03,065 What a piece of work is man-tis! 362 00:34:03,541 --> 00:34:06,476 One of the so-called "good" insects, 363 00:34:06,611 --> 00:34:08,636 he excels at inactivity: 364 00:34:08,780 --> 00:34:12,011 He spends two-thirds of his time motionless 365 00:34:12,150 --> 00:34:13,981 much like my third agent. 366 00:34:14,118 --> 00:34:16,951 Still, he's an alert animal, 367 00:34:17,088 --> 00:34:19,852 with two big goggle eyes 368 00:34:19,991 --> 00:34:23,085 and three extra gemlike eyes. 369 00:34:30,368 --> 00:34:35,305 He spends over an hour a day grooming every part of his spiny body. 370 00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:36,873 Why? 371 00:34:37,008 --> 00:34:38,703 Because he can. 372 00:34:48,486 --> 00:34:54,254 This evening, my garden was about to disappoint me as it never had before. 373 00:35:03,301 --> 00:35:05,963 I heard a strange new sound. 374 00:35:11,909 --> 00:35:13,934 It was a hungry bat, 375 00:35:14,078 --> 00:35:17,275 and she was about to shatter my peace of mind. 376 00:35:21,219 --> 00:35:25,349 The mantis takes flight at just the wrong time. 377 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:32,593 The bat hunts with a kind of sonar. 378 00:35:36,901 --> 00:35:40,098 From her nose, she beams a high-pitched sound. 379 00:35:40,238 --> 00:35:42,263 Listening to the echoes tells her the position, speed, 380 00:35:42,406 --> 00:35:44,636 and direction of the mantis. 381 00:35:50,348 --> 00:35:52,179 Some sanctuary! 382 00:35:52,316 --> 00:35:55,217 It was Top Gun in my own backyard. 383 00:35:55,353 --> 00:35:57,878 Where's Tom Cruise when you really need him? 384 00:36:10,134 --> 00:36:13,262 The mantis has a single ear right in the middle of his belly, 385 00:36:13,404 --> 00:36:15,338 much like Aunt Mildred. 386 00:36:17,675 --> 00:36:20,610 It's tuned exactly to the bat channel. 387 00:36:34,659 --> 00:36:40,097 The mantis hears the bat throws his legs forward... power dive! 388 00:36:41,966 --> 00:36:43,024 Narrow escape. 389 00:36:43,167 --> 00:36:44,725 But not for long. 390 00:36:44,869 --> 00:36:46,769 The bat is gaining. 391 00:36:47,939 --> 00:36:50,407 She sounds louder than ever. 392 00:36:50,541 --> 00:36:53,772 Desperately, the mantis flies straight into the ground. 393 00:36:53,911 --> 00:36:56,573 I cheered for the underdog. 394 00:37:09,427 --> 00:37:11,452 The mantis escaped again! 395 00:37:11,596 --> 00:37:13,325 All right! 396 00:37:14,498 --> 00:37:19,401 But there's no deus in this machina, buddy. 397 00:37:26,310 --> 00:37:28,938 Death and destruction everywhere. 398 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,173 I'd set out to build a paradise, 399 00:37:31,315 --> 00:37:35,843 and here, I had a ringside seat at Armageddon. 400 00:37:53,237 --> 00:37:56,502 I thought this was my darkest hour. 401 00:37:57,108 --> 00:37:59,406 But that was yet to come. 402 00:37:59,777 --> 00:38:01,369 At night. 403 00:38:06,384 --> 00:38:07,749 After the sun went down, 404 00:38:07,885 --> 00:38:11,184 some of my backyard's most unsavory creatures appeared. 405 00:38:11,322 --> 00:38:17,056 To find them, all you have to do is follow your nose to the herb patch. 406 00:38:27,672 --> 00:38:30,971 There are eight million shrews in the naked garden. 407 00:38:31,108 --> 00:38:33,372 This had been one of them. 408 00:38:33,511 --> 00:38:35,911 It was my little shrew. 409 00:38:36,747 --> 00:38:38,180 No need to suspect foul play. 410 00:38:38,316 --> 00:38:42,480 Shrews run like mad for a couple of years and just keel over. 411 00:38:45,022 --> 00:38:49,254 But the dearly departed seemed to be coming back to life! 412 00:38:50,594 --> 00:38:52,721 Nope, still dead. 413 00:38:53,164 --> 00:38:55,792 The burying beetles have come. 414 00:38:56,767 --> 00:38:59,429 For them, the late shrew is a windfall 415 00:39:00,571 --> 00:39:04,974 It will be food and more. 416 00:39:09,213 --> 00:39:11,010 But hungry competitors are all about, 417 00:39:11,148 --> 00:39:14,413 like other beetles, maggots, and raccoons. 418 00:39:14,552 --> 00:39:18,352 It isn't first come, first serve in the savage garden. 419 00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:26,422 So to secure their prize, the beetles conduct a kind of funeral. 420 00:39:26,564 --> 00:39:29,158 Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. 421 00:39:30,334 --> 00:39:33,394 Lying on their backs, they walk the shrew forward. 422 00:39:33,537 --> 00:39:36,904 I hope this doesn't catch on in my aerobic class. 423 00:39:41,011 --> 00:39:44,105 Literally excited by the smell of death, 424 00:39:44,248 --> 00:39:47,740 the pall-bearers take time out to mate 425 00:39:49,587 --> 00:39:52,112 Couldn't they find a roach motel? 426 00:40:25,289 --> 00:40:28,952 The beetles drag the shrew several feet to an abandoned burrow. 427 00:40:33,431 --> 00:40:34,830 And just in time. 428 00:40:34,965 --> 00:40:37,365 Because the maggots are frisky tonight 429 00:40:39,770 --> 00:40:42,739 They're turning a dead mouse into an area rug. 430 00:41:07,398 --> 00:41:10,162 The burying beetles are settling into their underground home. 431 00:41:10,301 --> 00:41:12,599 And it's not from the pages of House and Garden. 432 00:41:12,736 --> 00:41:16,172 It's more like Morticians' Monthly. 433 00:41:17,908 --> 00:41:20,843 The beetles' now have a major home improvement project. 434 00:41:20,978 --> 00:41:23,674 Call it "This old shrew." 435 00:41:24,715 --> 00:41:31,052 The carcass will be converted into a nursery, an edible nursery. 436 00:41:33,357 --> 00:41:36,724 As at better funeral homes, the body is shaved. 437 00:41:41,632 --> 00:41:44,192 Next, to seal in freshness, 438 00:41:44,335 --> 00:41:48,237 the beetles embalm the shrew with secretions. 439 00:41:49,406 --> 00:41:54,844 My shrew, may he rest in peace, is finally prepared. 440 00:41:55,346 --> 00:41:59,715 The female will soon lay her egg near his remains. 441 00:42:02,853 --> 00:42:06,118 Just above, raccoons patrol the garden 442 00:42:19,970 --> 00:42:22,666 After a few pull-ups and a cool drink of water, 443 00:42:22,806 --> 00:42:24,296 they search for food. 444 00:42:25,876 --> 00:42:29,403 The grass is definitely greener on the other side. 445 00:42:41,158 --> 00:42:44,650 An earthworm tries to escape from the raccoon by burrowing. 446 00:42:46,330 --> 00:42:48,059 Poor choice. 447 00:42:51,435 --> 00:42:55,235 But, as Charles Darwin wrote of the worm's mental abilities, 448 00:42:55,372 --> 00:42:57,636 There is little to be said. 449 00:42:58,742 --> 00:43:00,972 A mole, cousin of the shrew, 450 00:43:01,111 --> 00:43:05,639 eats the earthworm by squeezing it out like a tube of toothpaste. 451 00:43:06,116 --> 00:43:08,641 I think I'll stick to baking soda. 452 00:43:13,691 --> 00:43:16,489 Of all the things Aunt Mildred brought with her from Europe, 453 00:43:16,627 --> 00:43:18,356 why did she have to bring a mole? 454 00:43:18,495 --> 00:43:20,122 I'll never forgive her. 455 00:43:23,867 --> 00:43:28,167 The mole barrels thru her tunnels with catcher's-mitt paws. 456 00:43:35,012 --> 00:43:38,243 But when she comes up to an obstacle, she won't be stopped. 457 00:43:41,952 --> 00:43:43,715 Now she's poking my parsnips. 458 00:43:43,854 --> 00:43:45,879 I hate when that happens. 459 00:43:46,323 --> 00:43:48,848 I'd had enough trouble in the herb garden. 460 00:43:51,128 --> 00:43:53,722 My whole idea of the backyard was decomposing, 461 00:43:53,864 --> 00:43:56,059 much like my poor little shrew. 462 00:43:57,334 --> 00:44:00,235 I wanted to forget about the gruesome burial, 463 00:44:00,371 --> 00:44:02,032 but just one week later, 464 00:44:02,172 --> 00:44:05,403 I paid an accidental visit to the grave. 465 00:44:05,909 --> 00:44:08,503 What a change had taken place! 466 00:44:09,513 --> 00:44:10,878 Babies! 467 00:44:11,849 --> 00:44:14,409 The morgue had become a daycare center! 468 00:44:14,551 --> 00:44:18,317 Burying beetles have hatched and scrambled on top of the shrew. 469 00:44:18,455 --> 00:44:22,721 And here the young beetles live like so many chicks in a nest. 470 00:44:25,095 --> 00:44:27,154 They even beg for food! 471 00:44:34,505 --> 00:44:36,837 Mom's on her way. 472 00:44:42,046 --> 00:44:44,640 First she'll eat what's left of the shrew. 473 00:44:44,782 --> 00:44:47,683 Looks like Aunt Mildred's shepherd's pie. 474 00:44:53,157 --> 00:44:55,751 Next she calls to get her babies' attention. 475 00:45:00,631 --> 00:45:03,930 And now she regurgitates to feed her young. 476 00:45:06,336 --> 00:45:10,397 She offers one a succulent shrew slurpy! 477 00:45:12,576 --> 00:45:15,044 And I thought I had a rough childhood. 478 00:45:17,314 --> 00:45:20,147 Burying beetles make some of the best parents of any insect. 479 00:45:20,284 --> 00:45:21,683 That's not saying much: 480 00:45:21,819 --> 00:45:24,947 The mother will happily eat some of her young if the dead shrew 481 00:45:25,089 --> 00:45:28,149 is too small to support the brood. 482 00:45:32,796 --> 00:45:34,491 Home sweet home. 483 00:45:35,165 --> 00:45:38,601 As the shrew dwindles, the grubs grow fat. 484 00:45:39,203 --> 00:45:45,005 In a way, burying beetles practice reincarnation... con carne. 485 00:46:01,024 --> 00:46:04,460 High up in my oak tree, an acorn has gone bad. 486 00:46:04,595 --> 00:46:08,156 The tree senses the damage and can cut its losses. 487 00:46:13,237 --> 00:46:17,401 By now, I was expecting something weird and wonderful. 488 00:46:18,976 --> 00:46:20,841 Okay, just plain weird. 489 00:46:21,278 --> 00:46:24,941 Inside, the old acorn weevil's baby has grown up 490 00:46:25,082 --> 00:46:28,574 and eaten itself out of house and home 491 00:46:29,119 --> 00:46:30,916 Good riddance! 492 00:46:35,325 --> 00:46:38,317 The grub can feel the impact with the ground. 493 00:46:38,462 --> 00:46:40,623 That's the signal to move on. 494 00:46:41,632 --> 00:46:44,192 But it's no easy matter to get out of an acorn. 495 00:46:44,334 --> 00:46:48,065 The young weevil more or less has to perform its own C-section. 496 00:46:50,307 --> 00:46:52,673 It's already cutting an escape hatch. 497 00:46:52,810 --> 00:46:55,506 But it can take three days to get out! 498 00:46:58,982 --> 00:47:02,383 How do you get out of a hole the size of your head? 499 00:47:03,187 --> 00:47:05,712 It sure helps to be a living accordion 500 00:47:18,135 --> 00:47:21,901 Portrait of the Michelin man as a young grub. 501 00:47:41,792 --> 00:47:44,420 The young weevil must now hide itself. 502 00:47:44,561 --> 00:47:47,257 But a hungry shrew is nearby. 503 00:47:49,132 --> 00:47:52,590 The grub will start to dig underground where it will metamorphose 504 00:47:52,736 --> 00:47:56,228 and wait perhaps years before emerging to continue 505 00:47:56,373 --> 00:47:59,240 its seemingly pointless cycle of life. 506 00:47:59,376 --> 00:48:03,142 On the other hand, look how we're spending our time. 507 00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:07,809 The shrew is intent on finding grub. 508 00:48:08,352 --> 00:48:10,445 I mean, a grub. 509 00:48:14,858 --> 00:48:19,318 Hiding and sneaking, amputation and slaughter. 510 00:48:19,463 --> 00:48:22,796 I was beginning to think my garden was trying to tell me something. 511 00:48:22,933 --> 00:48:27,029 And at this point, like the mantis, I was all ear. 512 00:48:27,170 --> 00:48:28,194 Heh, heh. 513 00:48:34,311 --> 00:48:36,575 I was off-balance, confused. 514 00:48:36,713 --> 00:48:39,580 And I was about to come face-to-face with a force so... 515 00:48:39,716 --> 00:48:41,479 vital... so unstoppable... 516 00:48:42,419 --> 00:48:45,217 I could never look at my garden the same way again. 517 00:48:49,126 --> 00:48:50,525 Shrews! 518 00:48:50,861 --> 00:48:54,820 A female seems to be accepting a male's overtures. 519 00:48:54,965 --> 00:49:00,164 Is she so hot a shrew as she's reported? Humph. 520 00:49:00,570 --> 00:49:04,131 I had no idea I was listening to a love song. 521 00:49:04,541 --> 00:49:06,907 But the young couple was actually off 522 00:49:07,044 --> 00:49:10,343 to a good start for what can be a taxing business. 523 00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:13,916 Mating is as hectic as the rest of the shrew's life... 524 00:49:14,051 --> 00:49:16,281 often 20 times a day. 525 00:49:16,887 --> 00:49:18,855 Your mileage may vary. 526 00:49:34,571 --> 00:49:36,436 What a sight! 527 00:49:36,873 --> 00:49:40,172 They looked so... vulnerable. 528 00:49:43,113 --> 00:49:46,708 I was amazed that two shrews -two recluses 529 00:49:46,850 --> 00:49:49,114 could put aside their grouchiness. 530 00:49:49,252 --> 00:49:52,619 Suddenly, I realized I had been obsessed with the 531 00:49:52,756 --> 00:49:58,558 darker forces of nature with savagery and death. 532 00:50:01,932 --> 00:50:05,527 True enough, for the male shrew, even love can be a drag. 533 00:50:05,669 --> 00:50:09,332 But now I saw my garden's other side. 534 00:50:15,979 --> 00:50:23,181 It was really about love and life and renewal. 535 00:50:23,787 --> 00:50:26,255 Mostly, it was about copulation. 536 00:50:40,437 --> 00:50:44,567 My garden wasn't the scene of an apocalypse after all; 537 00:50:45,042 --> 00:50:47,909 it was more like... genesis. 538 00:50:52,682 --> 00:50:57,312 The wonder. The wonder. The wonder. 539 00:51:06,396 --> 00:51:10,196 What I discovered is that there was a problem in my garden. 540 00:51:10,333 --> 00:51:12,301 And I was the problem. 541 00:51:12,436 --> 00:51:15,234 I was spending so much time trying to control the garden that 542 00:51:15,372 --> 00:51:19,399 I wasn't seeing things that were right in front of my eyes. 543 00:51:19,543 --> 00:51:20,908 Look down here. 544 00:51:21,378 --> 00:51:23,846 A female shrew's been nesting. 545 00:51:23,980 --> 00:51:25,538 Let's see how she's doing. 546 00:51:28,618 --> 00:51:32,247 Ah, baby shrews. 547 00:51:35,058 --> 00:51:38,824 Some of the smallest and most helpless of newborn mammals. 548 00:51:38,962 --> 00:51:43,262 It would take nearly 5,000 of them to weigh a pound! 549 00:51:45,235 --> 00:51:46,702 But they'll sure grow fast. 550 00:51:46,837 --> 00:51:48,634 They'll leave the nest in three weeks. 551 00:51:48,772 --> 00:51:49,830 A couple of weeks later, 552 00:51:49,973 --> 00:51:52,635 they'll be looking for mates themselves. 553 00:51:54,478 --> 00:51:57,538 It's a beautiful thing. 554 00:51:57,881 --> 00:52:00,577 Don't worry. I'm not going New Age on you. 555 00:52:00,717 --> 00:52:05,882 But I couldn't help feeling that one of them was smiling at me. 556 00:52:06,256 --> 00:52:09,453 You know, I have a way with the garden's creatures. 557 00:52:17,334 --> 00:52:20,826 So here is my advice about the garden. 558 00:52:20,971 --> 00:52:24,566 Give up the slightest idea that you can control it. 559 00:52:24,708 --> 00:52:27,268 Leave yourself open to delight. 560 00:52:27,410 --> 00:52:28,536 Eep your eyes open. 561 00:52:28,678 --> 00:52:33,172 And enjoy the wonderful flavors that you'll have... Ohh! 562 00:52:36,453 --> 00:52:39,786 Well, and of course, you must share your garden! 563 00:52:48,431 --> 00:52:50,592 That was a very good tomato. 564 00:53:11,388 --> 00:53:13,879 Stay away from those trees!