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Of Marriage and Single Life
by Francis Bacon |
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He that hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for
they are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or
mischief. Certainly the best works, and of greatest merit for the
public, have proceeded from the unmarried or childless men; which both
in affection and means, have married and endowed the public. Yet it
were great reason that those that have children, should have
greatest care of future times; unto which they know they must transmit
their dearest pledges. Some there are, who though they lead a single
life, yet their thoughts do end with themselves, and account future
times impertinences. Nay, there are some other, that account wife
and children, but as bills of charges. Nay more, there are some
foolish rich covetous men that take a pride, in having no children,
because they may be thought so much the richer. For perhaps they
have heard some talk, Such an one is a great rich man, and another
except to it, Yea, but he hath a great charge of children; as if it
were an abatement to his riches. But the most ordinary cause of a
single life, is liberty, especially in certain self-pleasing and
humorous minds, which are so sensible of every restraint, as they will
go near to think their girdles and garters, to be bonds and
shackles. Unmarried men are best friends, best masters, best servants;
but not always best subjects; for they are light to run away; and
almost all fugitives, are of that condition. A single life doth well
with churchmen; for charity will hardly water the ground, where it
must first fill a pool. It is indifferent for judges and
magistrates; for if they be facile and corrupt, you shall have a
servant, five times worse than a wife. For soldiers, I find the
generals commonly in their hortatives, put men in mind of their
wives and children; and I think the despising of marriage amongst
the Turks, maketh the vulgar soldier more base. Certainly wife and
children are a kind of discipline of humanity; and single men,
though they may be many times more charitable, because their means are
less exhaust, yet, on the other side, they are more cruel and
hardhearted (good to make severe inquisitors), because their
tenderness is not so oft called upon. Grave natures, led by custom,
and therefore constant, are commonly loving husbands, as was said of
Ulysses, vetulam suam praetulit immortalitati. Chaste women are
often proud and froward, as presuming upon the merit of their
chastity. It is one of the best bonds, both of chastity and obedience,
in the wife, if she think her husband wise; which she will never do,
if she find him jealous. Wives are young men's mistresses;
companions for middle age; and old men's nurses. So as a man may
have a quarrel to marry, when he will. But yet he was reputed one of
the wise men, that made answer to the question, when a man should
marry,- A young man not yet, an elder man not at all. It is often seen
that bad husbands, have very good wives; whether it be, that it
raiseth the price of their husband's kindness, when it comes; or
that the wives take a pride in their patience. But this never fails,
if the bad husbands were of their own choosing, against their friends'
consent; for then they will be sure to make good their own folly.
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contact: morgan at [email protected] page last modified: thu jan 12 01:37:48 2006 |
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