Feghoot XXXVI: Civil Rights

This is by Reginald Bretner writing under the pen name Grendel Briarton. It was published on the groaners listserve.



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The Women's Absolute Equality Party elected its first President in 2482, and set out to take over all known planets. Ferdinand Feghoot, then Governor-General of Awk-k-k-kaw in the system of Aldebaran, was ordered to accept a Mrs. Taffypull Jihad as his "Instructress," to give her all aid while she indoctrinated the intelligent aviform natives, and finally resign his office.

Mrs. Jihad taught the Awk-k-k-kawians exactly how things were done back on Earth, not only in politics, but in everything else. Her pupils were apt; and she soon informed Feghoot that they had elected a feminine President and Senate and a masculine Vice-President and House, that Absolute Equality was established, and that he must resign.

Feghoot himself arranged a great ceremony. With Senators and Representatives all on their perches, he presented the native President and Vice-President, who delivered splendid orations of welcome.

When they had finished, however, the new Governess General leaped to her feet in a fury. "Feghoot!" she cried. "Why were they using two speakers' stands? Why weren't they using the same one? It's discrimination! There's a misogynist in the house ! "'

"No, dear lady," said Ferdinand Feghoot. "They are trying to follow Earth customs. You told them time and again that on Earth we invariably have . . . separate ladies' rostrums and gentlemen's rostrums."

(Copyright © 1961 by Mercury Press. First published in THE MAGAZINE OF FANTASY & SCIENCE FICTION, February 1961).