 
Looking For You All My Life

Melody Carlson 



HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS

Eugene, Oregon 97402  
Cover by Devid Uttley Design, Sisters, Oregon  

Map illustration b~~Jan Cieloha, Springfield, Oregon  

LOOKING FOR YOU ALL MY LIFE  

Copyright C 2000 by Melody Carlson  

Published by Harvest House Publishers

' Eugene, Oregon 97402  

Library of Congress Cataloging-in.Publication Data

Carlson, Melody.  

Looking for you all my life I Melody Carlson.  

p.  cm.  - (Whispering pines ~ties)  

ISBN 0-7369-0063-2  

L ~tle.  

PS3553.A73257 E94 2000  

	113'.S4 21~dc21	99-041914

All rights reserved.  No portiok of this book may be reproduced in any form

without the written permissi~ of the Publisher.  

Printed in the United States 4f America.  

00 Ol 02 03 04 os 06 07 08 09 I BC 110 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1  
To Gabriel Douglas Carison

Love always,  

Mom  
	noD	DUO

B  

I o3~  
to  

000  

0 ~ 11~UDUU  
IA' <1  

uring the first week of November, traffic through  

town had dwindled to a thin trickle. Besides the  

coming and going of the locals, there were only a

few late-season elk hunters cruising down Main Street on

their way back home, some with elk heads and large antler

racks displayed proudly on their hunting rigs (a habit a city

girl found slightly disturbing).  

Maggie diverted her attention from the "trophy" tied to

the hood of a dust-covered pickup parked along Main Street

by watching her breath come out in little white puffs that lin-

gered for a moment on the crisp midday air before they dis-

appeared.  The novelty of such a simple thing as frost was not

lost on her as she walked toward Galloway's Deli.  It was not

something she'd seen much of in southern California.  

The atmosphere had suddenly changed in Pine Mountain.  

A quiet hush wrapped itself around the streets of this little

town until it seemed that even the normally energetic mer-

chants had become unusually subdued.  Maggie waved

across the street to Elizabeth Rodgers as the older woman

pushed a broom across the sidewalk in front of the book-

store, lethargically sweeping dead leaves over the curb and

intO the gutter below.  In some ways the feeling in town  

7  
	8	Melody Carison

reminded Maggie of last spring when she and Spencer had

first arrived to discover a dreary and dying business district.  

Only now she sensed a real spirit of hope and expectation

resting beneath this temporary veneer of quiet.  And no one

could deny that the town looked better than ever with all its

recent renovations and face-lifts.  

Still, Maggie wondered how this little slump might affect

commerce as she passed by the recently refurbished Pine

Mountain Hotel.  She peeked in the front window to see a

perfectly decorated lobby completely void of guests.  Of

course Brian and Cindy Jordan, with their high-earning com-

puter software stocks, could easily afford a slow season at

the hotel, but few other businessowners in town were so for-

tunate.  Even with last summer's boom and the better-than-

usual fall season, an unprofitable winter could be the

undoing of some of the more fragile businesses.  Maggie

knew it was silly to feel so overly protective of the town, but

whether she could openly admit it or not, the truth was she

felt an almost maternal sort of concern.  

"Hey there, Maggie," called Rosa from behind the tiled

deli counter.  "You're early today."  

"Thought I'd beat the rush."  Maggie smiled sheepishly at

her joke as she glanced around the nearly vacant room.  

"Pretty bad, isn't it?"  Rosa sighed and gave the already

clean countertop a swipe.  

"I heard we might get some snow," offered Maggie hope-

fully.  

"That's what Sam said too, but it's only supposed to be a

light dusting.  It'll take more than that to open up the ski

season around here."  

"But it's still early.  Isn't it pretty rare to open before

Thanksgiving?"  

Rosa adjusted the straw container and thought for a

moment.  "I suppose so, but we've seen it open in early

November before.  I guess because of the strong summer and

fall seasons everyone had just hoped..."  
	Looking for You All My Life	9

"Well, maybe the weatherman is wrong about the dusting

part of his forecast.  Maybe we're in for a foot or two."  

"You're sounding more like us everyday.  I suppose this

disease is the result of our tourist-based economy.  We all live

in a slightly delusional world."  Rosa grinned.  "We survive

on optimism and unrealistic hopes-and, of course, we're

ever dependent on the weather."  

"Not to mention a lot of hard work."  Maggie glanced up

at the menu board.  "I'll have a bowl of your black bean

soup, Rosa."  

Rosa ladled out the dark, spicy-smelling soup.  "So what's

cooking at the Pine Cone these days?  Scott's been so busy

with Chloe lately that I haven't heard much about work."  

Maggie laughed.  "Those two are getting pretty serious.  

I've actually wondered if Scott might be hearing wedding

bells lately.  And, selfishly, I wouldn't mind a bit.  I'd hate to

lose him at the paper."  

"With Chloe saying she never wants to leave Pine Moun-

tain, my boy may have to rethink his future as a big-city

journalist."  Rosa handed Maggie her order, then poured her-

self a mug of coffee.  "Mind if I join you during this little

lull?"  

"Not at all."  The two women sat down and Maggie

glanced across the dining room to the couple deep in con-

versation at a corner table.  They were an elderly pair and not

locals.  "Well, as far as what's going on at the Pine Cone..."  

she lowered her voice slightly.  "Actually, I think I'm about

to break open a pretty big story-at least for Pine Mountain,

that is-but I'm sort of nervous about the whole thing."  

Rosa's brows went up.  "What is it?  Or is it top secret?"  

"It's about Greg Snider."  

"Oh, our notorious postmaster.  What's he up to now?"  

"I take it that you haven't heard anything about it then?  

Nothing from Sam or anyone?"  

Rosa shook her head and sipped her coffee.  "No, and

Sam is usually up on all the latest news.  Men say women

gossip, but I think that's just their cover-up."  
	10	Melody Carison

"Well, I suspect that Rick Tanner and Greg Snider have

been trying to keep this thing under their hats, but I'm on my

way out to interview Mr. Westerly this afternoon-"  

"Old Arnold Westerly?  I can hardly believe that man is

still alive-he must be about a hundred by now."  

"I don't know about his age, but I do know he owns a

couple hundred acres of prime farmland-"  

"Right between the Tanners and the old Snider place,"

injected Rosa, her brow lifting with suspicion.  

Maggie nodded.  "Anyway, I've learned that Greg and

Rick are buying that property and planning some big real

estate development out there."  

Rosa slapped her hand on the table and laughed sarcas-

tically.  "Now if that doesn't beat all.  The antidevelopment

boys are out there scheming up their own little land deals

and trying to keep everything hush-hush.  Well, good for you,

Maggie.  I hope you blow this thing wide open."  

"The only problem is..."  Maggie's brow furrowed.  "I feel

bad about Cherise.  She's been so sweet to me at the fitness

center, and I just hate to see her get hurt by my story."  

"Cherise is a big girl and stronger than many think.  

Besides, Maggie, the truth is the truth.  Right?"  

Maggie set down her spoon.  "Yes.  And I've already sat

on this news for too long-mostly to protect Cherise because

she's the one who gave me the initial information.  But I can't

be silent about something like this forever."  

Rosa frowned.  "I hope Greg and Rick aren't taking

advantage of poor Arnold.  He's a sweet old guy.  And all

alone."  

"He sounded nice on the phone, and very sharp if he's as

old as you say.  Plus he seemed eager to talk.  But I'm afraid

he thinks I'm interviewing him for our Bit of History sec-

tion."  She broke off a chunk of crusty bread and dipped it

into her soup.  "In fact, I think I will schedule Scott to do a

history piece on him.  No doubt this Mr. Westerly has some

interesting stories to tell."  The bell on the door jingled and

Maggie looked up to see Buckie and Kate walk in.  "Looks  
	Looking for You All My Life	11

like you've got customers, Rosa."  Maggie waved as the

couple approached the counter.  

"Thank goodness for the regulars."  Rosa stood and

straightened her apron.  "Nice catching up with you.  And

good luck with that story."  

Maggie finished her soup, then she went over to greet

Buckie and Kate on her way out.  They seemed such a perfect

couple now that it made her wonder how any of them had

ever missed that potential from the start.  "How's business?"  

she asked Buckie with a friendly smile.  

He frowned.  "Actually, it's pretty slow this week."  

But this is a great time to do some long-term planning,"

piped in the ever-optimistic Kate.  "I've been encouraging

Buckie to have some of his better prints reproduced into note

cards and postcards and such, plus I've been checking into

some mail-order outfits that I think he could get into, not to

mention setting up a Blue Moose web site.  You know North-

west art is pretty popular these days."  

Buckie reached over and patted Kate's arm with open

admiration.  "Kate's such a whiz when it comes to ideas and

marketing and all that stuf I don't know what I'd do

without her."  

With mixed feelings Maggie remembered how invaluable

Kate had been to Jed's business with that same sort of per-

spective-and then how suddenly that had all changed,

mostly due to her.  She smiled at Kate.  "Well, if you ever get

bored just working for Buckie, you might consider starting

up your own marketing consultation service.  I'm sure a lot

of businesses in town would find your ideas very helpful."  

"Hey, watch it, Maggiel" warned Buckie.  "Don't you go

luring my right-hand girl away from me."  

Kate laughed.  "Don't worry, Buckie, I'm not that easy to

get rid 0 But Maggie does have a good point.  A consulting

business might be something I could do on the side-and

drawing in more customers at other places wouldn't hurt

your business a single bit."  
	12	Melody Carison

"You know, Kate," said Maggie, "I've had some thoughts

of my own about how the newspaper could help promote

businesses.  And you're always so full of great ideas-maybe

we should get together and discuss them sometime.  

"I'd love to," said Kate with a smile that could've been

used for a toothpaste ad.  

For the first time since their original conflict over Jed,

Maggie wondered if she and Kate might actually become

friends one day.  "Great," she said.  "I'll give you a call soon.  

With business so slow right now, it might be the perfect time

to start making some plans for the tourist traffic that will

come with the upcoming ski season."  

"You mean, if we ever get any snow," said Buckie sul-

lenly.  

"It'll come," Kate reassured him.  "It always does sooner

or later."  

1  

Maggie hadn't planned to stop by Jed's shop today as she

knew that Leah had invited him for dinner at the house

tonight.  But seeing Kate and hearing how Buckie was

reaping the benefits of that new relationship made Maggie

feel worried for Jed.  Leah had mentioned just that morning

at breakfast how business had been terribly slow for White-

water Works this week, and although it seemed sort of silly,

Maggie felt responsible.  

"Hello?"  she called as she entered the familiar shop,

sniffing the air for the pungent aroma of cedar.  "Anyone

here?"  

"In the back," called Leah.  "I'm coming."  

"How's it going?"  Maggie asked as Leah emerged from

the back room, a cardboard box in one hand and a packing

slip in the other.  

"Still pretty quiet."  Leah brushed a dark strand of hair

from her eyes.  "You're the first one to walk through the front

door all day."  
	Looking for You All My Life	13

Maggie frowned.  "Is Jed around?"  

"No, he just left.  He's working at home this afternoon."  

"Well, that's probably good.  How's he doing?"  

Leah's brows lifted.  "What do you mean?"  

"Oh, I guess I was feeling a little concerned about him

from a business standpoint.  I just ran into Kate, and you

know how she's so involved at the Blue Moose now, and she

has all these great plans about how to market Buckie's

work-and well, I suppose I feel a little guilty, like it's my

fault that Kate's not here-"  

"But I'm here."  Leah stuck out her chin defensively.  

Maggie smiled.  "Of course, I know that.  And Jed

couldn't be happier-"  

"But you don't think that's enough."  

"That's not what I meant, Leah."  

Leah set the box on the floor and folded her arms.  "I'm

working really hard for Jed, Maggie.  I told him he doesn't

even have to come into the shop at all if he needs to work on

his projects at home.  I know this isn't an easy business, espe-

cially this time of year, but I'm here for him.  Isn't that

enough?"  

Maggie placed a soothing hand on Leah's arm.  "It's more

than enough, honey.  Really.  Jed wouldn't trade you for a

hundred Kates.  And I'm sure in time you'll have this whole

business completely figured out, and then you and Jed will

be the busiest shop in town."  

Leah frowned.  "I don't think either of us want that."  

Maggie blinked, feeling somewhat chastised.  "Well, you

know what I mean.  I'm sure everything's going to be just

fine.  I'm sorry if what I said didn't come out quite the way I

meant it."  She looked Leah in the eyes.  "Are we still okay?"  

Leah's dark eyes looked misty, but she nodded.  "Yes, of

course.  I guess maybe I'm a little worried about Jed's busi-

ness too.  There's so much to learn right now.  I want to be a

help and not a hindrance, but I hate asking Jed questions all

the time.  Sometimes I feel like I'm nothing but a nuisance."  
	14	Melody Carlson

"I know Jed doesn't think that at all.  He loves having you

around, Leah.  But if you're worried about the business

aspects, maybe you could ask Kate to stop by and give you

some tips."  

Leah pressed her lips together.  "I don't really like Kate

very much."  

"Oh."  Maggie thought a moment.  "I used to feel like that

too, but I'm trying to be more open.  And I'm finding there's

more to her than meets the eye."  

"Maybe.  But I think I'd rather try to figure things out for

myself around here.  I learned a lot just working for Buckie.  

In many ways these businesses aren't all that much dif-

ferent."  

"You're probably right."  Maggie glanced at her watch.  

"Okay, then, I'll see you tonight.  Is Jed still coming for

dinner?"  

Leah's eyes lit up.  "Yes.  And I'm still cooking.  He gave

me a venison roast from a deer he shot on his property.  

Audrey promised to give me a hand with it."  

"I'm looking forward to it.  

Maggie walked slowly back to the Pine Cone to pick up

her briefcase before her interview with Mr. Westerly.  Some-

thing in the tone of her conversation with Leah bothered her

a little.  Why was Leah becoming so defensive?  Maggie

hadn't ineant to infer that Leah's help in the shop was inad-

equate in any way.  It was only that she felt worried about

Jed's business without Kate's experienced hand.  It was no

secret that Kate had been an integral ingredient in Jed's past

success.  But why should that threaten Leah?  Good grief,

Leah was only eighteen years old-no one expected her to

replace Kate.  But maybe this wasn't about Kate and Leah,

reasoned Maggie.  Maybe this was about Maggie and

Leah.  .  .and Jed.  

She'd only returned from California a week ago, yet in

that short time it seemed things had changed between her

and Leah.  But with so much going on, she hadn't given it

much thought.  Until now.  Since last week's harvest party,  
	Looking for You All My Life	15

Leah, like everyone else, had become well aware that Maggie

and Jed might be entering into a new phase of their rela-

tionship.  But so far, that relationship seemed to be devel-

oping slowly, which was perfectly fine with Maggie.  She had

only seen Jed once since the party, and that was when they'd

met for lunch a couple of days ago.  Even then, the warm

look in his eyes had convinced her that nothing between

them had changed a bit.  She felt content to allow all the time

necessary for them to become better acquainted with each

other.  Plus, she reasoned, they were both busy people with

many responsibilities.  There seemed no need to hurry any-

thing along.  

"Hey there, Maggie," called Clyde as she approached the

front porch of the newspaper office.  "I think I can feel snow

in my bones."  

"Really?"  she smiled.  "The forecast is for a light

dusting."  

He adjusted the ear flaps on his plaid wool hunting cap.  

"Wouldn't be surprised if we got us several inches by

tomorrow."  

"Well, that'd be welcome, wouldn't it?  Say, Clyde, I'm

sure you know Arnold Westerly..."  

"You bet I do.  Arnold and I go way back.  But I haven't

seen the old guy in a coon's age.  Why're you asking?"  

"I'm on my way to see him right now.  I'm about to blow

open what could be a fairly big story."  

Clyde rubbed his hands together with enthusiasm.  "A big

story?  About old Arnold?  Can't imagine what that could

possibly be, Maggie girl."  

She glanced around to see if anyone was within earshot,

and then quickly explained about Greg and Rick's land

scheme.  "Want to join me for this interview?"  

"Oh boy, would I love to!  But I've got to meet an old

buddy of mine today.  He came over from the valley to spend

the weekend at my cabin and do some pheasant hunting.  But

you better get to the bottom of this, Maggie.  Arnold's a good

guy, and I don't like the idea of anyone, and especially not  
	16	Melody Carlson

the likes of Greg Snider, taking advantage of the old feller."  

Clyde clenched his fists and growled.  "And after all that anti-

development nonsense Snider put us through last summer!  

Well, all I can say is you better nail this story good and we'll

blast it all across the front page in next week's edition."  

She grinned.  "You can count on it.  Have a good weekend

hunting with your buddy, Clyde."  

"Yep.  But I want to hear all about Arnold first thing come

Monday morning."  

"Yes, sir."  She tossed him a mock salute.  

"That's my girl."  His face softened.  "Sure good to have

you back, Maggie.  You had me fretting something fierce

while you were gone off in California all that time.  Feared

you might change your mind about us and not come back."  

"Don't worry, Clyde.  I've finally figured out where my

hQme is."  

"And don't you go off and forget it none, either!"  
	(1	I -~I'	C,' A

  

 aggie had never been in the area where the West-

erly farm was located. But now she understood

why Greg and Rick had been so eager to get their

hands on it as she admired the lovely, pastoral piece of land

with a stream cutting through the middle.  Although much

larger than her property, it was similar with its wide-open

spaces and ponderosa pine forest along the boundaries.  It

lacked the full mountain views that she so enjoyed on her

place, but all in all it was a gorgeous piece of carefully tended

farmland.  The rich, dark soil of recently tilled fields and the

old-fashioned barn with silo with farm machinery parked

nearby indicated it was still a working farm.  And there, nes-

tIed beneath several old willow trees, was a charmingly old,

single-story farmhouse with a wide, if slightly sagging, cov-

ered porch.  She parked in the gravel driveway and walked

up to the front door to be greeted by the friendly barks of a

black-and-white dog, its tail wagging happily.  

"You must be Maggie Carpenter," called a raspy voice

from around the side of the porch.  An elderly man in clean

but faded overalls removed his felt hat and approached her,

extending a work-worn hand in her direction.  

17  
	18	Melody Carlson

"Yes, and you must be Mr. Westerly."  She shook his hand

and was surprised at the wiry strength beneath the wrinkled

exterior.  

"Pleased to make your acquaintance."  His eyes were

warm and friendly and his smile seemed sincere.  "I see

you've met my Lizzie."  He smiled down on the dog.  "Good

girl, Lizzie."  

"Is she a Border collie?"  Maggie stroked the dog's

smooth head, noticing that one of her eyes was murky and

gray, probably the result of age and cataracts.  

"Purebred."  He grinned proudly.  "I owned her mother

and grandmother and great-grandmother.  But she's the~ last

one for me."  

Maggie nodded with understanding, suspecting that Mr.

Westerly was afraid he wouldn't last long enough to own

another dog.  "Well, she seems like a very well-mannered

girl."  

"That she is.  Please excuse me for keeping you waiting on

the porch, especially when it's getting so cold outside.  I think

we've got some snow on the way.  Come inside.  You'll find

I'm not much of a housekeeper-that was always Nellie's

territory, God rest her soul."  He led her into a dimly lit

parlor with furnishings that appeared as if they hadn't been

changed or moved for more than fifty years.  "Excuse the

dust and have a seat," he said.  "I've made us some fresh

coffee.  That is, unless you would rather have tea.  My Nellie

always preferred tea."  

"No, coffee is perfect.  And you shouldn't have gone to

such trouble-"  

"It's no trouble."  He waved his hand and left.  

Maggie sat on the plum-colored sofa, running her hand

along the stiff camel-hair fabric, still scratchy after all these

years.  On one side of the sofa sat a platform rocker and on

the opposite side, a tufted armchair covered in a faded cab-

bage-rose fabric.  In the far corner stood a dark upright

piano with a painted porcelain lamp centered on the top, its

shade a faded pink with silk tassels all around.  Numerous  
	Looking for You All My Life	19

decorative porcelain figures posed on tables and shelves

throughout the room.  They'd probably belonged to the

wife-Nellie.  All of the figurines were of children and ani-

mals-quite a nice collection actually.  Maggie glanced with

interest at a tall and completely filled bookshelf by the door.  

It seemed someone was a reader.  

"Here we go," said Mr. Westerly as he set a neatly

arranged tray onto the low table in front of the couch.  Some

of the coffee had sloshed out of the dainty cup and into the

saucer, but Maggie discreetly dabbed the excess with a small

paper napkin, then sipped her coffee, expecting it to taste

like the powdery, tasteless instant her grandmother had

always used.  To her surprise it wasn't half bad.  

"Good coffee," she said, pulling out her notepad and

tape recorder in preparation for the interview.  

"It's Folgers.  I don't drink anything but Folgers.  Haven't

for years."  He looked at the recorder.  "What's that little

thing?"  

"It's a miniature tape recorder.  We reporters often use

these to get our facts straight.  Do you mind if I record our

conversation?"  

He grinned.  "Not at all.  Is this like being on the radio or  

TV?"  

She smiled.  "Sort of."  She turned on the recorder and

said the date and location.  "Mr. Westerly, for today I'd

planned to mostly ask questions about the future of your

farm, but it has occurred to me that you might also have

some interesting historical stories to tell-"  

"Well, after living for ninety-two years, I just might have

a tale or two."  

She laughed.  "That's what I figured.  But since Scott Gal-

loway handles our historical column, I'd like him to schedule

that interview for another time-if that's okay with you."  

"Galloway?  Is he one of Jack Galloway's boys?"  

"Actually, Jack is Scott's grandfather.  Scott's dad is Sam

Galloway."  
	20	Melody Carlson

"Young Sam Galloway has a grown-up son?"  Mr. West-

erly scratched his nearly bald head.  "Don't know how so

many years went by so fast and I didn't even notice.  But sure,

I'd like to talk to this young Galloway man."  

"Good.  You can be thinking about what stories you'd

like to tell, and maybe get together some photographs or

other memorabilia.  Now, I have some questions about your

farm.  First, how long have you owned it?"  

"My pa came Out here with my ma in the spring of 1901.  

He came from a farm family back in Virginia.  But there were

six sons and not enough land to go around, so my pa, being

the most adventuresome of the bunch, decided to come out

to Oregon.  He bought the land for ten dollars an acre."  Mr.

Westerly laughed.  "I know that sounds dirt cheap now, but

back then it was no small thing to come up with $2,000."  

"But what a good investment for your father."  

"Sure was.  I was born a few years later.  Then my sister

came along, and another brother.  All deceased now.  Seems a

mite strange that I'm the oldest and the only one alive."  

"You must be living right."  She looked into his eyes.  "Do

you have any descendants?"  

He sipped his coffee, and then nodded.  "My son, Wilmar,

lives down in New Mexico.  He's retired now.  Wilmar has

two daughters, Jeanette and Linda.  They used to come out

here every summer to visit.  And oh, how my Nellie enjoyed

those two.  Wilmar's girls are both in their forties now, with

nearly grown kids of their own.  Jeanette has two boys, both

in high school.  And Linda has a daughter just starting col-

lege.  I've only seen Linda's girl a couple times.  But Jeanette's

been Out here with the boys quite a bit, although not for the

last year or two-the boys are busy now with sports and

whatnot."  

"Do you have any other children?  Or just the one son."  

"We had a daughter.  Pretty little thing-looked just like

her mother.  But we lost her in the winter of '38.  Saddest day

of my life."  He shook his head and set down his cup.  "Grief

just about killed my Nellie."  His gaze swept over the glass  
		Looking for You All My Life	21

figurines.  "That's when I started buying her those little glass

doo-dads.  They seemed to help her get over losing our little

Annie somehow...  

"I had been admiring that collection."  She glanced to her

notes and continued.  "You mentioned that you had a

brother and sister who've both passed on.  Do you have any

nieces or nephews?"  

"Yep.  My brother Howard had three children-two girls

and a boy.  'Course they're all about retirement age by now."  

He chuckled.  "Though I never did understand how a man

could turn sixty-five and just up and decide to quit

working."  

"Maybe that's why you've enjoyed such a long life."  

"Rightly said, I'm sure.  Let's see now.  I was telling you

about my family.  I had a sister too.  She never married or had

children.  Taught school right up until the day she died.  Miss

Jane Westerly-she was a good woman."  

"And I imagine you've got some great-nieces and

nephews then."  Maggie glanced at her notes.  "They'd be

Howard's grandchildren."  

"I can see you're listening real careful.  Yes, Howard's

children.  I think they live in California still.  He had a girl and

a boy-Clara and Howie.  They both got married and had

children, but I can't tell you much about them."  

"I'm amazed at how well you can remember what you

do, Mr. Westerly."  

"Nellie always thought family was important.  She used

to keep up with everyone with letters and birthday cards and

whatnot.  I've tried to continue, but other than Christmas

cards..."  His voice trailed off.  

"I think you're doing very well to send out Christmas

cards.  I never sent a single one last year, myself."  She leaned

forward and looked into his creased face.  "Actually, the

main reason I'm curious about your family is because I can't

help but wonder if you'd ever considered leaving your farm

to any of your relatives."  
	22	Melody Carlson

"I'd sure have liked that, but no one ever seemed real

interested.  Jeanette and Linda always liked coming out as

kids, but then they grew up.  And although Jeanette used to

bring her boys, they're so busy with their own lives these

days..."  He reached over and patted Lizzie's head and smiled

sadly.  "I guess me and Lizzie here are just the last of our

breed."  

"I suppose that explains your willingness to sell the farm

then."  

"So the cat's out of the bag now."  Mr. Westerly leaned

back into the chair and exhaled slowly.  "Rick asked me to

keep all this under my hat for the time being.  I'm not real

sure why though.  Don't know why anyone would care about

an old man selling his farm."  

"What made you decide to sell?"  

"Well, I never really planned to do that.  I figured to keep

it in the family.  And at one point I'd hoped to leave itto my

granddaughter, Jeanette.  Of all the children, she seemed the

one to understand this land the best.  She really loved every-

thing about the farm.  Used to get up early and go out and

help me all the time.  And her youngest son, Bradley, is a lot

like that too."  

"Then why not leave it to her?"  -~  

"I offered, but Jeanette said it wouldn't be fair to the rest

of the family."  

"But it sounds like no one else was interested."  

''They weren't interested in the farm, to be sure.  But

more'n likely they'd be interested in the money."  

"I see..."  She nodded, considering all this.  "But what

about leaving the farm to Jeanette with a stipulation that if

she ever sold the property, the proceeds would be divided

fairly among the others?"  

Mr. Westerly frowned.  "That's not a bad idea.  Don't

know why that never occurred to me before..."  

"What made you decide to sell to Rick Tanner and Greg

Snider?"  
	Looking for You All My Life	23

"I'm not selling to Greg Snider," he corrected her sharply.  

"I'm selling to Rick.  Those Tanners have been good neigh-

bors the last couple of years.  First, the dad began helping me

out.  Then Bill, Rick's brother, stepped in.  After he moved

away, Rick started helping me Out.  Our farms adjoin and

young Rick understands and respects the land just like I do.  

I know he'll keep this farm running in tip-top shape, and

that's real important to me."  

Maggie was speechless.  Did he actually believe that Rick

planned to continue farming this land?  "Uh, is the sale of

your property final yet?"  she asked weakly.  

"We signed papers last week."  

"Is Rick's dad involved in the sale too?"  

"Not directly.  You see, he's in a nursing home now.  He's

quite a bit younger than me, but he's got that Alzheimer '5

sickness where you can't remember anything-poor old

feller went walking out in the snow last winter without a

single stitch of clothing on, nearly froze himself to death."  

"I see.  And Rick told you that he plans to continue

farm ing-uh, indefinitely?"  

Mr. Westerly nodded.  "That's right.  You see, Rick's like

me in that regard.  Can't stand to be away from the dirt for

more than a day or so."  

"It's strange," she began cautiously, unsure of how to

best proceed.  "I'd heard that Greg Snider was involved in

this transaction too."  

Mr. Westerly slapped his knee and laughed.  "I don't

know where you got that notion.  Looks to me like Greg

Snider's got enough problems on his hands with his own

family's farm.  The Snider place is just south of me, but

they've let it go to wrack and ruin.  Hank Snider's got

arthritis real bad, and the youngest son, Billy, was working

the farm for a while, but then he just up and left.  From what

I hear, Greg doesn't lift a finger to help out.  Now there's a

farm that needs to be sold-and soon.  I'm just glad Rick is

taking my farm over while it's still in good shape.  Nothing

worse than seeing what you spent your whole life working

on going to pot."  
	24	Melody Carlson

"And where will you live, now that the farm is sold?"  

"Right here, of course.  From the start Rick said there'd

be no need for me to move out of my house.  I'll just continue

on as always, puttering around, helping Rick out when I can.  

It's no secret that I'm getting on in years.  I don't expect to be

around too much longer.  'Course you never know...  

Maggie swallowed hard as she imagined huge caterpillar

tractors tearing up his beautiful farmland to prepare for

cheesy condos and golf courses.  But certainly Greg and Rick

didn't plan to do all this with poor Mr. Westerly sitting in his

little house looking on!  She continued to ask more questions.  

Dates and facts.  And she discreetly managed to find out what

he'd been paid for the farm and how he planned to divide

the sum up between all of his father's descendants.  

"That seems very fair of you, Mr. Westerly."  She closed

her notebook.  "Now, are you sure you don't mind me

printing up this information-things like the selling price

and all that?"  

He shook his head.  "I don't have any secrets.  Nothing to

hide."  

She sighed.  Unfortunately, not everyone in this transac-

tion had been so honest.  "Thank you for your time, Mr.

Westerly."  

He waved his hand in dismissal.  "It's been a real pleasure.  

I should be thanking you.  But honestly, I don't see how this

makes for much of a story.  Don't know why anyone'd care

about me selling my farm."  

She looked into his faded eyes.  The color reminded her of

the sky today-pale shades of gray.  "Mr. Westerly," she

began slowly, glancing to see that the recorder was still run-

ning.  "I want to be completely honest with you, okay?"  

"Of course.  I'd expect you to be.  Is something wrong?"  

"I'm not sure.  But I've heard, and maybe this is just a

rumor-I plan to check everything out completely before I

write my story-but Greg Snider's wife told me that Greg

and Rick were purchasing your property together...  as part-

ners."  She wanted to add "in crime," but controlled herself.  
	Looking for You All My Life	25

Mr. Westerly's face clouded over.  "But why would Greg

Snider be interested in my farm?  He can't even manage his

own."  

"Because, from what I heard, their plan is to develop it."  

"Develop it?"  His face grew puzzled.  "Develop it into

what?"  

She drew in a deep breath.  "I've heard that Greg and Rick

plan to turn all three of these farms into a very large com-

munity development with condominiums and maybe even a

golf course-"  

"No!"  Mr. Westerly abruptly stood, sending his cup and

saucer to the hardwood floor with a loud crash of shattered

china.  

"Oh, I'm so sorry."  Maggie fell to her knees and began

picking up the shards of broken porcelain.  "And this was

such a pretty cu~"  

"No," said Mr. Westerly again, only more quietly this

time.  "What you've heard is not true.  It's just some mean

rumor concocted up by Greg Snider's wife.  To be completely

honest, those Sniders aren't the nicest of people.  Over the

years I've tried to be friendly with Hank, but he was always

a cantankerous fellow.  Still, I'm certain that what you heard

is a falsehood, Mrs. Carpenter.  You go and speak directly to

Rick Tanner and he'll straighten you out, I'm sure of it."  

She forced a stiff smile to her lips as she set the broken

cup and saucer onto the tray and stood.  "I really do hope

you're right, Mr. Westerly.  I certainly don't want this to be

true.  You've created a perfectly beautiful farm here, and the

best thing I can imagine is for it to continue for many, many

years to come."  

He smiled and patted her reassuringly on the arm.  "And

so it will, my dear.  So it will."  

"But if I find out anything different, say, than what

you've been led to believe~o you mind if I include it in my

article?"  

"You lust print the truth, Mrs. Carpenter.  That's all

anyone expects."  
	26	Melody Carlson

"But what if the truth doesn't match what you've been

told?"  

"Then let the chips fall where they may."  He frowned.  

"But don't you worry about that, because Rick is an honor-

able man.  I trust him like my own flesh and blood, and he

knows that."  

She reached out and shook his hand.  "It's been a real

pleasure to meet you, Mr. Westerly.  Like I said, I'll have Scott

schedule another interview with you for our historical

column."  

"Then I'll get busy and dig up some things.  You know, I

love to read and I used to be a bit of a writer myself.  I wrote

in journals and such-'course they wouldn't be of much

interest to anyone now except to an old fool like me."  

"You never know.  I'd like to see them."  

"I'll find them for you, Mrs. Carpenter.  And I'll look for-

ward to seeing this story in the paper next week.  Just write

the truth, that's all I ask."  

"You have my word, Mr. Westerly."  
 re you sure you don't need any help in the kitchen?"  

called Maggie from the library as she struck a  

match to the crumpled newspaper beneath the

neatly arranged pile of kindling in the fireplace.  She guessed

it to be Spencer's work, although he was nowhere in sight

just now, but judging by Daniel's orange Volkswagen Bug

parked right next to the barn, she suspected they were out

there practicing music.  

"No, everything's under control in here," replied Audrey.  

"You just put your feet up and relax a little before Jed gets

here."  

Maggie sighed contentedly and looked on with satisfac-

tion as the wood began to ignite and crackle into bright

orange flames.  Then she carefully placed several small aspen

logs on top and closed the metal grate.  Sitting down on the

old leather couch, she leaned her head back and admired

how much this room had changed in the last couple of

months.  No doubt it was her favorite room in the house

now.  Spencer had eagerly filled the floor-to-ceiling book-

shelves he'd so beautifully refinished with her many boxes of

books that had been stored out in the barn.  Probably just in

the nick of time too as Jed had warned her that mice would  

27  
	28	Melody Carlson

come in from the cold to nibble and nest in there.  Naturally,

Spencer hadn't bothered to organize her books, but just

seeing them on the shelves brought comfort, and she could

rearrange them more carefully later-perhaps on some cold,

snowy day.  She glanced over to the desk Jed had made for

her.  It was so perfect for this room with its dark, gleaming

wood and clean Craftsman lines.  And then Audrey had

donated the old mahogany office chair; it had once belonged

to Maggie's grandfather, a newspaper man himself.  He had

used it at his own desk while working for the San Francisco

Herald.  Maggie had added some rich earth-toned pillows

and other decorative touches, along with numerous candles,

which she now took time to light.  The cozy room glowed

with warmth and personality.  Before closing the wooden

shutters, she peered out the window to the darkness outside.  

She wondered if and when this predicted dusting of snow

might actually occur.  Like a young child looking forward to

Christmas, she anticipated this first snow with an almost

juvenile eagerness.  She wondered if this was simply part of

being the newcomer, or did others feel this way too?  

She opened her briefcase and set her notes and tape

recorder on her desk.  Tempted to begin her work on Arnold

Westerly's story, she reminded herself that all the facts were

not yet in, and to begin the story too soon would definitely

slant her coverage-as if it weren't slanted already!  But she

could go over her notes and prepare some appropriate ques-

tions for Rick, her next interviewee.  Rick had sounded reluc-

tant to talk with her on the phone today, but when she

reminded him that the Pine Cone was online now, and an

article about their development would help get the word out

to prospective buyers across the state and country, he'd

instantly grown quite chatty.  Now she wondered if that

wasn't just a bit deceptive on her part, though it was true

enough.  Only yesterday Scott had reported that their Pine

Cone website was getting an inordinate amount of hits per

week-and from all over the country!  Some people were

even phoning Abigail to get more information on tourist  
	Looking for You Alt My Life	29

attractions to be found in Pine Mountain.  Perhaps it was

time for the business association to consider some alterna-

tive ways to deal with outside inquiries.  Certainly the little

Pine Cone wouldn't be able to handle all these calls indefi-

nitely.  

"Hello," said a deep voice, scattering Maggie's thoughts.  

She looked up to see Jed standing in the doorway watching

her.  ''Audrey said you were putting your feet up in here, but

it looks to me like you're thick in the middle of work."  

"Not really.  I'm just daydreaming mostly.  Come on in."  

She rose from her desk, suddenly feeling slightly awkward  

and self-conscious and wishing she'd gone upstairs to  

I!  freshen up a bit.  Jed looked extra handsome in a neatly

pressed khaki shirt, topped with a muted-toned woven vest.  

Although she knew he hadn't a vain bone in his body, he

always had such a sense of style about him.  

"Nice fire," he commented, sinking down into the couch

and sighing with deep satisfaction.  "This room's become a

very inviting place.  Quite a difference from when you first

moved in here."  

She laughed.  "That's for sure.  In fact, I was just thinking

that it's become my favorite room in the whole house.  I sup-

pose that means I better get to work on the others."  

"Plenty of time for that."  He sat up and looked at her.  

"Sometimes I think you never give yourself a break."  

"You should talk, Mr. Whitewater.  You're one of the

hardest-working people I know."  

He smiled.  "Ah, so it seems.  But what you don't realize

is that I always take time to refresh myself."  

"You do?"  

He nodded.  "Yes, it's something I learned from my father.  

He always took time to walk in the woods, to enjoy nature

and relax.  I remember how he'd tell me that life wasn't

worth living if all you did was work."  

"Your father sounds as if he was a very wise man.  

L"  
	30	Melody Carlson

"He was." Jed leaned into the back of the couch,

stretching his long legs toward the fireplace, then turned and

looked into Maggie's eyes.  "So how are you doing?"  

She allowed herself to return his gaze, almost becoming

lost in the dark pools of his eyes before she answered, "I'm

okay, I guess."  

His brow lifted.  "You guess?"  

"Well, I'm working on a story that's troubling me a

little."  She waved her hand.  "But we don't need to talk about

work-"  

"No, I'd like to hear.  What is it?"  

She sat up straighter and began to explain about the

Westerly property, eager to hear what Jed would think of the

whole thing.  

He shook his head.  "Poor Mr. Westerly."  

"I know," she agreed.  "And he's such a dear man.  I just

hate seeing him hurt like this.  I wonder if there's anything to

be done."  

"Perhaps when the old guy hears the truth, he can con-

sult with his attorney and possibly get out of the sale."  

Maggie brightened.  "Wouldn't that be great-"  

"Hello," called Leah tentatively as she entered the room

carrying a tray of cheese and crackers.  "Am I interrupting?"  

Jed rose to his feet and took the tray from her.  "Of course

not.  Come on in and join us."  

"Audrey says the roast is going to take another half hour.  

I guess I set the oven too low."  

"That's okay," said Maggie.  "That just gives us more

time to visit."  

Leah turned eagerly to Jed.  "Oh, I forgot to tell you that

this guy came into the shop this afternoon, and he went

absolutely gaw-gaw over that twig-a nd-birch hutch that's sit-

ting right next to the front door.  He wanted to know if he

could special order several pieces in that same design."  

"Did you get his name?"  
	Looking for You All My Life	31

Leah smiled.  "He gave me his card, and I gave him yours.  

I assured him that I thought you could make more pieces,

and I even asked him to write down what he had in mind."  

"Good girl."  

Now Leah was beaming.  She continued to chat with Jed,

sharing various ideas about the business while Maggie

leaned back into the couch and relaxed, allowing their words

to flow over her like a fountain.  Content to sit quietly next

to Jed, she enjoyed the warmth of the fire and the sounds of

father and daughter happily conversing.  

Finally Jed turned to her and put his hand on her

shoulder.  "Hey, I hope you don't think we're ignoring you as

we talk shop here."  

Maggie sighed contentedly.  "Not at all.  I was just taking

your father's advice and relaxing a little."  

Jed's arm slipped around her shoulder as he gave her a

little squeeze.  "Good for you."  

Leah leaned over and picked up the empty tray.  "I better

get back to the kitchen.  That roast is probably almost done

now."  She sounded cheerful, but as she left Maggie thought

she saw a slight frown crease her young forehead.  

Jed's eyes remained warmly on Maggie.  "You know, I still

can't believe it."  

"Believe what?"  

"How my life has changed in the past several months.  For

years and years I've never felt completely at home."  His

brow grew thoughtful.  "I mean, I feel at home up on the

mountain and in the woods and everything.  But I've never

felt completely connected somehow-not since I was a small

boy anyway...  

"And do you now?"  

He nodded.  "Just sitting in here with you and Leah is the

closest thing I've felt to being at home since both my parents

were alive."  

She sighed.  "That's a beautiful thing to say, Jed."  

"It's a beautiful thing to feel."  

"Dinner's ready," called Leah.  
	32	Melody Carison

After they were all seated and Jed had said a brief

blessing, Audrey asked him to carve the roast.  "It seems fit-

ting that, as you were the hunter, you should carve the

meat."  

"I'm not too sure what I think about eating deer meat,"

said Maggie with wide eyes.  "I can't help but think of the

beautiful creatures that grace the meadow right next to my

house."  

"Oh, Mom," said Spencer with exasperation.  "Now how

do you suppose that would make a cow feel?"  

They all laughed, and then Daniel shared a hunting story

of his own about the time his nearsighted grandfather nearly

mistook a cow for an elk, and how the irate rancher threat-

ened to have both of them locked up.  Dinner for the most

part was delicious, but Maggie still wasn't sure what she

thought about the actual taste of venison.  It wasn't bad

exactly, but different than beef.  Unwilling to offend Jed or

Leah, she kept her opinions to herself.  

"Say," began Jed as Spencer and Daniel went for seconds.  

"I had an interesting letter this week.  I'm not sure what to

make of it."  

"Tell us," said Leah with bright eyes.  

"Well, back in the late seventies, Steven Harris-this guy

who'd been my best childhood friend-went over to be a

missionary on some South Pacific island.  I can't even

remember which one offhand.  He used to write to me, but

then he suddenly stopped and for several years I heard

nothing.  Then I learned about five years ago that he'd died

while living in that country.  I was really saddened to hear of

his death, and the news actually had quite an impact on my

own life."  Jed looked around the table.  "But at least Steven

died doing something he believed in.  Well, anyway, just this

week I get this really odd letter from a man by the name of

Michael Abundi who lives on the very same island that

Steven did.  As it turns out, Michael was a good friend of his.  

He says he owes his salvation to Steven, and as a result he  
	Looking for You All My Life	33

believes that God has called him to come be a missionary in

Pine Mountain."  

"You're kidding!"  exclaimed Audrey.  "What an extraor-

dinary story."  

"Pretty ironic, isn't it?"  said Maggie.  "Our country usu-

ally sends missionaries to places like that.  But he's coming

here."  

Jed nodded.  "And this guy isn't wasting any time either.  

He plans to arrive next week and wants to know if he can

stay with me.  Apparently Steven had told him all about me

before he died."  

"So, is he going to stay with you?"  asked Leah.  

"Sure.  I think it should be interesting to get to know him.  

He sounds like a very nice person in his letter.  He writes well

and seems educated."  

"A missionary to Pine Mountain," repeated Audrey as if

still processing this unusual information.  

"I'd like to do a story on him," said Maggie.  "Do you

think he'll be willing?"  

"Don't know why not."  Jed heaped another dollop of

mashed potatoes onto his plate.  "He seems to have a lot to

share."  

After everyone sufficiently praised Leah for the fine

dinner, Maggie offered to clean up, sending everyone else to

the library.  But before long Jed slipped back into the kitchen.  

"Thought I'd make myself useful," he offered as he took

over rinsing plates and handing them to her as she loaded the

dishwasher.  Occasionally their fingers brushed each other,

sending a happy tingle up her arm.  Jed took out the garbage,

then lingered on the back porch for a moment.  "Hey,

Maggie, come here!"  

She hurried outside to see what was wrong, then followed

his gaze up to the dark sky where hundreds of delicate

snowflakes could be seen floating down in the beams of the

back porch light.  

"Oh, it's absolutely beautiful," she breathed with excite-

ment, stepping out from the protection of the porch overhang  
	34	Melody Carlson

to allow the delicate snowflakes to fall directly upon her

upturned face.  

He joined her, putting an arm around her waist.  "Not as

beautiful as you!"  he whispered as he pulled her close, his

face ve?y near hers.  

"Where'd you two go?"  called Leah from the still-open

backdoor.  

Maggie felt herself pull away from Jed's embrace,

instantly wishing she hadn't.  "We're Jown here, Leah.  It's  

snowing!"  

"Snowing?"  cried Leah, bounding down the steps and

twirling around in the fast-falling flakes.  "Oh, isn't it won-

derful!"  

Soon they were all outside, dancing and rejoicing in the

falling snow.  Even Daniel joined in, which Maggie thought

was sweet since he'd obviously seen many winters in Pine

Mountain before.  Finally Audrey enticed them all back

inside with her famous homemade apple cobbler.  

By the next morning the only remnant of last night's

snow was wet pavement, and perhaps the mountains were a

bit whiter.  Maggie went to the fitness center to work Out

before her interview with Rick.  Concerned about what

Cherise's reaction might be to running the story about the

Westerly property, she broke the news to her as gently as

possible, but then quickly realized her worries were for

nothing.  

"To tell you the truth," began Cherise in an irritated tone,

"I don't give a flying fig what you write about my stupid hus-

band."  

Maggie blinked and blotted her face with a towel.  

"Yeah," continued Cherise in a matter-of-fact voice.  

"Greg deserves to have his name dragged through the mud

a little right now.  And if you don't do it, I might just do it

myself."  
	Looking for You All My Life	35

"Sounds like things have gotten worse between you

two...  

Cherise rolled her eyes dramatically.  "Well, after my

uncle straightened out the financial part of my business, he  

Gs~ me down for a little chat.  He strongly recommended that

eg and I see a marriage counselor together."  

"That sounds like wise counsel."  

Cherise slammed down her bottle of cleaning fluid.  

"Yeah.  That's what I thought too.  But will Greg agree to

come with me?  No way!  He doesn't have any problems, he

says.  According to him, I'm the one who's all messed up.  I

)ust couldn't take it anymore.  So I went in and saw the coun-

selor all by my little lonesome.  And after just two visits, the

counselor ups and says to me that she thinks we have some

very serious marital problems!"  

"I'm so sorry, Cherise."  

Cherise's blue eyes had turned an almost electric shade.  

Yeah, well, I'm sorry too.  Sorry I ever hooked up with a

man like Greg Sniderl"  

Maggie didn't know what to say.  She felt way over her

head just now.  After silently shooting up a prayer for

wisdom, she said in a gentle voice, "You know, Cherise, I

don't know that much about how things are between you

and Greg.  But I do know a little about relationships..."  She

paused to make sure Cherise was listening.  

"Yeah?"  Cherise was waiting.  

"I don't want to sound preachy or anything, but I've

found that if I put my trust in God and not in human rela-

Itionships, I don't get so disappointed.  Plus he gives me the

strength and courage to get through some of these difficult

things.  Does that make any sense~"  

"Maybe."  Cherise had begun to clean a piece of weight

equipment again.  "Do you think it would help if I went to

church, Maggie?"  

She smiled.  "Yes, I do.  But you probably shouldn't expect

that Greg will go with you."  
	36	Melody Carlson

Cherise laughed.  "Now that would take a real act of

God!"  

After a quick shower, Maggie went over to meet Rick at

the newspaper office.  As it was Saturday, no one else was

there and she had to unlock the doors and turn on the lights

herself.  She puttered around the empty building waiting for

him to arrive, and just when she was about ready to give up,

she noticed a new shiny black pickup, with its sales stickers

still intact, park out in front of the office.  And out sauntered

Rick.  She bit her lip and prayed for grace.  This wouldn't be

easy.  

After settling into her office, she turned on her tape

recorder and began.  "Mr. Westerly told me that you all

signed the sale papers for his property last week, and the sale

is final.  Is that correct?"  

"Yep.  We're past the five-day rescission deadline too."  He

folded his arms across his chest and leaned back in the chair.  

"So it's all finished and done now."  

Maggie glanced toward her window.  "Is that a new truck

out there?"  

He grinned.  "Well, a developer's got to look prosperous,

if you know what I mean, plus it'll be a tax deduction.  We've

already ordered some magnetic signs to put on the doors of

our trucks, and our name is TS Development.  Personally, I

wasn't sure if we should be spending too much money just

yet, but as Greg says, it takes money to make money."  

"Yes, that brings me to another question, if I may.  Where

did you and Greg come up with enough money to purchase

Westerly's land?"  

He laughed.  "Ever heard of a thing called a loan?"  

"I see.  And regarding the selling price-do you feel that

you offered Mr. Westerly fair market value for his land?"  

This made Rick laugh again.  "Maggie, this is business."  

She looked intently at him, searching for any sign of con-

science.  "I'm sorry, Rick, Mr. Westerly gave me the impres-

sion that you were his friend."  

Rick's face grew cloudy, but he said nothing.  
	Looking for You All My Life	37

"I did a little research yesterday and learned that

according to local real estate values, the Westerly property

Lwas worth about twice what you and Greg paid Mr. West-

erly for it."  

His brows lifted.  "That much, eh?  Well, thanks for that

information.  Might be helpful down the line."  

Maggie tried to contain the hostility that now bubbled

within her.  Turning her gaze downward to her notepad, she

continued, "And does Mr. Westerly know of your plans to

develop his property?"  

"Look," his eyes narrowed.  "I know what you're getting

at, but the fact is Arnold coyld do with his property as he

wished when it was his property.  But it's no longer his prop-

erty now."  

"When do you plan to start developing the land?"  

"Just as soon as possible.  You know what they say, time

is money."  

"I see.  And how long before this project is completed?"  

"Well, phase one should be well under way soon-that

means we hope to have sewer, water, streets, and utilities

installed this winter.  Then actual housing construction will

start in early spring.  But our associate developer will begin

promoting and selling lots immediately.  Any of your rich

California friends interested in a vacation home?"  

She ignored that and continued to question him about lot

sizes, selling prices, amenities, and any other information

that might pertain to those interested in investing in the

development.  And with congeniality, he carefully answered

each question.  Then finally she glanced up from her notes

and looked him straight in the eye.  "And where, may I ask,

will Mr. Westerly reside once the bulldozers start tearing up

his farm?"  

Rick pulled his head back and scowled darkly.  "Well, that

wouldn't be my problem, now would it?"  

"But you've led him to believe that he can continue living

there-"  
	38	Melody Carlson

"I don't know where he got that fool notion.  His house

will be the first thing to go down."  

Maggie could stand it no longer.  She felt her nostrils flare

as she snapped off the recorder and rose to her feet.  "I think

that's more than enough for my article, Rick!"  She moved

quickly to the front door, holding it wide open and nodding

as if she had suddenly gone mute.  

Once on the porch, Rick turned to her and said, "You

better not make us look bad in your paper, Maggie.  This

development has the potential to help this whole sorry town

get back on its feet.  I don't think the local businesses will take

it kindly if you do anything to discourage growth and devel-

opment of this kind."  Then he grinned slyly.  "And anyway,

we all know that you and the paper are pro-development-

you made that real clear last summer.  You wouldn't change

your stance now, would you?"  

She pressed her lips tightly together and, without

answering, solidly slammed the door almost in his face.  She

knew it was childish and rude, but she couldn't help herself.  

"I've got everything I need now," she said out loud as she

marched back into her office and flipped on her computer

switch, waiting irritably for the machine to warm up.  Then

she furiously began writing her story, pounding on the key-

board as if it were personally responsible for this whole hor-

rible affair.  Only after nearly an hour did she pause long

enough to phone home and let Audrey know that she'd been

sidetracked at the office.  By the time she finished her piece

and was on her way home, she knew that it was one of the

finest stories she'd ever written-full of passion and heat and

truth.  Back at the Times it might even have been nominated

for an award.  But she wanted no accolades for this project.  

All she wanted was justice!  
n Monday Maggie silently presented Clyde with a

copy of her TS Development expose', and then

walked grimly back to her office.  She wished she  

could blame her frustration purely on the circumstances of

the story, but the truth was she was still getting over her con-

versation with Leah during their drive into town that  

It had probably started with Jed taking Maggie out

toorning.  

lunch after church yesterday.  He'd invited Spencer and  

Leah as well, but Spencer had already made plans and Leah

had simply shrugged it off, saying she'd "rather not"

without offering any explanations.  Well, now Maggie sus-

pected that Leah had felt left out after all.  And although

she'd only hinted at it this morning, and politely enough,

Maggie sensed the hurt behind her voice.  So she had simply

suggested that perhaps in the future, Leah might try to corn-

municate better, for instance if she really wanted to go to

lunch with them to just say so.  But then Leah had become

very quiet, pulling into herself as if Maggie's words had hurt

her even more.  And even after Maggie sincerely apologized,

Leah still seemed withdrawn, climbing silently from the car

as if mortally wounded.  That's when Maggie had recalled

her mother's words about how raising teenaged girls was  

39  
	40	Melody Carison

never as simple and straightforward as raising boys.  Perhaps

this was what she meant.  At least Spencer usually came right

out and said what he meant, whether or not it sounded

pleasant and nice.  Just the same, Maggie promised herself

she'd try harder to understand Leah.  She knew it wasn't easy

being eighteen, and it seemed reasonable that Leah could be

struggling with all the recent changes in her life-relocating

from Arizona, discovering her father for the first time, a new

job.  It was a lot for anyone to adjust to all at once.  

"Maggie!"  exclaimed Clyde as he stormed into her office.  

"This story makes me sick to my stomach!"  

She dropped her pencil and stared up at him in horror.  

"What do you mean, Clyde?  I..  .1 thought it was pretty good.  

I tried really hard t~"  

He waved the papers wildly in the air.  "Not the writing,

you silly ninny!  The writing is incredible-brilliant even!  I

mean what Snider and Tanner have done to poor old Arnold.  

Why, I'd like to take those two boys Out in the middle of

Main Street and have them publicly tarred and feathered for

the whole town to witness!"  

She suppressed a smile.  "Now that'd be worth seeing.  But

I think we have laws prohibiting such things nowadays,

Clyde.  Aren't there any legal solutions you can think of off-

hand?"  

His wrinkled features pinched tightly together.  "Well, I'll

tell you what I do plan to do.  I'm going to call my lawyer

right now and ask his opinion about this whole doggone

thing.  It just don't seem right."  

"But what about the story, Clyde?  Do you think it's okay

to run it?  I've tried to be honest, but I'm sure it comes across

as accusatory toward TS Development, if not outright hos-

tile."  

"You're the editor, Maggie."  He grinned slyly.  "And like

I've always said, these are your decisions to make.  But to my

way of thinking, there's no question about whether you

should run it or not.  Folks deserve to know the truth, even

when it's downright stinking and rotten like this dirty bit of  
	Looking for You All My Life	41

business.  By the way, have you sent Scott Out to get some

photos of Arnold's farm~"  

"No, but that's a good idea."  She made a note.  "One

thing still troubles me, though."  

"What's that?"  

"Mr. Westerly still doegn't really know what these boys

are up to.  I tried to tell him,~ but he just didn't want to hear

it.  He doesn't think Greg has anything to do with any of it,

and he sincerely believes Rick will continue to farm his land.  

He even plans to keep living in that sweet little house of his."  

Clyde frowned.  "Well, it's a nasty chore, but you'll have

to set him straight before he reads it in the paper."  

"I know."  She sighed.  "I just hate to see him hurt like

this.  He's such a nice old guy."  

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm phoning my lawyer

right now."  

Maggie called Scott into her office and asked him to go

out to the Westerly farm to take photos.  

"What for?"  

She thought a moment.  "It's for an article.  I'll fill you in

on the details later.  But why don't you give Mr. Westerly a

call first and see if you can interview him for our Bit ofHis-

tory column while you're out there.  He's in his nineties but

just as clear as he can be, and I'm sure he has some good sto-

ries to share.  I promised him you'd come out and he's

looking forward to seeing you-he knew your grandfather."  

"Sure, I'll see if I can set it up right away."  

"And when you see him, please tell him I'll be giving him

a call to talk about this upcoming article too."  

Scott's appointment with Mr. Westerly was set for

Tuesday morning, and Maggie decided to wait until the

afternoon to give him a call.  But when she tried, there was

no answer; and as it was a sunny day, she figured he must be  

Lworking outside. On the following morning as she drove to  
	42	Melody Carlson

work, it occurred to her that today's paper was in the process

of being printed, and she still hadn't reached Mr. Westerly.  

Perhaps she would have to simply drive out to see him

during her noon hour; then she could actually hand deliver

an early edition and gently break the news to him herself.  

But no sooner did she walk into the door of the Pine Cone

when Abigail rushed toward her with a frantic expression in

her eyes.  

"Oh, dear!"  she cried.  "I've just had a phone call-there's

been an accident-"  

"Who?"  Maggie's heart began to pound.  

"It's Spencer-"  

"Spencer?  But I just saw him leave the house-just min-

utes ago.  Daniel picked him u~  

"The sheriff just called.  Daniel's car hit a truck, Maggie."  

She began to sway, her knees growing weak, and Abigail

gently but firmly eased her into a foyer chair.  "Where is

he?"  Maggie blurted.  "Is he okay?  I need to see him right

away-"  

"Hush now and let me explain.  The boys are on their way

to the hospital even as we speak.  The sheriff said there were

no fatalities, but-"  

Maggie rose quickly to her feet.  "I've got to go-

"Just hold on.  I knew you'd need a ride, and I already  

called Jed."  She peered out the window.  "And if that isn't

him right now!"  

In the same instant, Maggie burst out of the office and

ran straight for Jed's truck, jerking open the passenger door

even before he could climb out to assist her.  "Thanks for

coming, Jed," she gasped.  "Please, drive fast!"  

While he drove to Byron, Jed prayed quietly for Spencer

and Daniel.  Maggie glanced nervously at him as he sped

along, passing every vehicle ahead of them, but naturally his

eyes were open as he prayed.  She attempted to follow his

example and focus her mind on praying too, but no matter

how hard she tried, it seemed impossible to form any actual

sentences-not even in her mind.  All she could think was,  
	Looking for You All My Life	43

"Please, God, no!"  She silently prayed those same three

words over and over.  After what seemed an eternity, Jed

finally pulled up in front of the emergency room door, where  

an ambulance was parked nearby, lights still flashing, engine

still rumbling.  Maggie leaped from Jed's truck and ran inside

the foyer, demanding that the receptionist tell her exactly

where Spencer had been taken.  

"Goodness, you must've been right behind the ambu-

lance.  Here, please fill out these forms-"  

"Not yet!"  Maggie waved the clipboard in front of the

receptionist.  "I will fill out nothing until you tell me where

my son is!"  

The receptionist's eyes grew wide.  "He's right there in the

ER.  You can see him as soon as you-"  

"Later!"  said Maggie as she pushed through the same

door into the same room where she'd been with her mother

just a couple of months earlier.  

"Hey, Mom," called Spencer from a bed not far from the

door as a nurse read his blood pressure.  

"Spence!"  she cried as tears of thankfulness began to

stream down her cheeks.  "Are you okay?  I was so worried!"  

"I think I'm okay, except that my foot might be broken."  

Then he gingerly touched what looked like a good-sized knot

in the center of his forehead.  "Oh, and maybe a concussion,

the paramedic said."  His expression suddenly grew serious.  

"I think Daniel's in pretty bad shape."  

"What happened?"  

"Some jerk with no taillights stopped right in the middle

of the road for no reason.  Daniel hit the brakes, but he still

slammed right into him.  I guess we were going pretty fast.  

Daniel got a bunch of cuts on his face from when the wind-

shield broke.  And both his legs are hurt, maybe pretty bad.  

The front of his Bug just smashed right up into the front

seat-you know, 'cause there's no engine or anything to stop  

it.  The paramedic said we both could've been killed."  

Maggie took in a sharp breath.  "Thank God you're okay.  

Are Daniel's grandparents here yet?"   

44 ~ Melody Carison  

"I don't think so."  

The nurse placed a cold pack on Spencer's swollen left

foot, then stuck an electronic thermometer in his mouth.  

"Daniel's being examined by the doctor right now," she said.  

"I think the cuts on his face may appear worse than they

really are.  Most importantly, we need to make certain he suf-

fered no internal injuries where he hit the steering wheel.  

Spencer seems to be okay in that regard, but we'll run some

tests just to be certain.  Then we'll get him up to x-ray to see

what's wrong with that foot."  

Maggie glanced down at Spencer's foot, now puffed up

to almost the size of a melon.  All things considered, it sud-

denly didn't seem so bad, although she felt horribly sorry for

Daniel and sent up a silent prayer on his behalf.  Before long

the doctor continued his examination of Spencer, and

Maggie apologized to the irritated ER receptionist and sat

next to Spencer's bed as she obediently filled in the numerous

and repetitive questions on the insurance forms.  

Just after the nurse wheeled Spencer up to x-ray, Daniel's

grandparents arrived, their faces pale and strained with

worry.  No medical staff was around to greet them, so

Maggie began to explain, trying to gently relay what little

information the nurse had given her.  "All in all," she fin-

ished, trying to sound positive, "it could've been so much

worse than it was."  

Just then another nurse stepped out and ushered the

grandparents back to where Daniel was still being treated

and examined.  

Once again Maggie prayed for Daniel to be okay, then

went out to find Jed sitting patiently in the waiting room.  

"You must think our family spends a whole lot of time in

hospitals."  She shook her head.  

He stood and took both her hands in his.  "How's

Spencer?"  

"A big lump on the head, maybe a concussion, and what

looks like a broken foot.  Not much compared to what it

could have been."  She sighed in deep relief.  
	Looking for You All My Life	45

"And Daniel?"  

"Worse.  Hopefully no internal injuries.  They're still

exa mining him."  

"Let's pray for him."  

Right there, standing in the center of the waiting room

floor, they prayed together for Daniel's complete recovery.  

Then they sat down on the hard vinyl chairs to wait.  Maggie

leaned forward with her elbows on her knees, resting her

head in her hands.  She felt exhausted and emotionally

drained.  

"And how are you doing?"  

She looked over at him.  "Of course I'm hugely relieved,

but at the same time I feel almost as if I've been run over by

a truck myself.  No one ever warns you that when you

become a parent your heart is no longer your own."  

"Hmm."  Jed rubbed her shoulders in a gentle and

soothing massage.  "Does that count for those of us who get

our kids late in life-after they're mostly grown up?  Or is it

only for those who've raised them from babyhood?"  

She sat up and looked at him curiously.  "I don't really

know how it works in that situation.  What do you think,

Jed?"  

He shook his head slowly.  "I'm not totally sure yet, but

it amazes me how protective I suddenly began to feel toward

Leah when I first learned that she's my own daughter.  I

mean, do you remember how I was so down on her when she

Iwore that little rock star getup at the bonfire?  But that was

before I realized she was my very own flesh and blood."  

Maggie laughed.  "Actually, that was probably a very typ-

ical fatherly reaction you had back then, even if it was unwit-

ting."  

He smiled.  "I suppose you're right, now that I think

about it.  But you know what worries me most, Maggie?"  He

looked into her eyes, but she just shook her head.  "What

worries me most is how much Leah seems to expect from

me-it's as if she thinks I'm some sort of 'superfather.'  And  
	46	Melody Carlson

I find myself trying to be perfect just so I don't disappoint

her.  I know it must sound silly to you."  

"Not at all.  It's wonderful to have your child look up to

you.  I remember how touched Phil used to be when Spence

would brag about how his dad was the best cop in all of L.A.  

County."  

"Yeah, I guess I missed out on all that.  But even though

it feels good now, it's kind of scary and overwhelming some-

times..  and I'm just not sure I can deliver or live up to her

expectations...  

"Don't worry, Jed.  You can deliver.  Just be yourself.  

That's all any of us want from you.  Some of us believe that

simply being Jed Whitewater is pretty special."  

His eyes lit up.  "Thanks, Magpie.  That means a lot, espe-

cially coming from you."  

Maggie made the appropriate phone calls, first reassuring

Audrey, then Abigail, that Spencer was going to be just fine,

and then she asked for everyone to pray for him and Daniel.  

Just as she hung up the phone, Daniel's grandparents came

out of the ER and she rushed to meet them.  "How is he?"  

Suddenly the grandmother began to sob, and the grand-

father answered, "He's going to be okay.  He may have a

cracked rib or two, but they've ruled out any internal injuries

for the time being, although they'll keep an eye on him for

the next couple of hours.  He's on his way to be x-rayed as

we speak."  

Maggie put a comforting arm around the older woman's

shoulders.  She'd only met her once, but she understood

exactly how she felt.  "It really could've been so much

worse," she spoke soothingly.  

"Yes," she sobbed.  "I was just so terribly worried.  I guess

it's all coming to the surface now.  Thank goodness they're

both going to be all right."  
	Loo~ing for You All My Life	47

"And no more little foreign cars for my boy," steamed his

grandfather.  "When Daniel gets better we'll buy him a tank

if need be!"  

By three o'clock Spencer was released from the hospital with

a cast on his foot.  His ankle was broken, but the doctor assured

him it would heal faster and more completely than a sprain, and

then he told Maggie to keep an eye on him for the remainder

of the day in case he exhibited any more signs of concussion.  

As it turned out, Daniel had only one broken leg; the other was

just badly bruised.  And the doctor convinced Daniel's grand-

parents that the facial lacerations were clean cuts that would

pro bably heal up just fine without the aid of any plastic surgery.  

But they decided to keep him overnight, just to observe him for

any possible developments of internal injuries.  

Jed drove Maggie and Spencer home.  Then, leaving

Spencer in his grandmother's diligent care, Maggie went

back to town to fill his prescription for pain medication and

crutches.  At the tiny drugstore, she noticed a copy of today's

edition of the Pine Cone resting on top of the pharmacy

counter.  Staring in horror at the front-page expose' about TS

Development, she suddenly realized that she'd never had a

chance to warn Mr. Westerly about the story yet.  After

quickly explaining to the kind but curious druggist that

Spencer and Daniel were both okay (another reminder to her

of how news travels like wildfire in a small town) she called

Audrey to quickly explain her further delay.  

"Don't worry, honey," Audrey said soothirigly.  "Spencer

doesn't even need any more pain medication until tonight.  

Take all the time you need to explain everything to that dear

old man.  Spence is perfectly fine stretched out on the sofa in

front of the TV He's having a bowl of homemade potato soup

right now, and he asked me to make chocolate chip cookies."  

Maggie smiled.  "Thanks so much, Mom.  I really appre-

ciate it."  Then she grabbed up the prescription and crutches

and rushed straight over to Mr. Westerly's farm, praying

along the way that his newspaper hadn't been delivered yet,

although she knew that was unlikely.  
	48	Melody Carlson

She wondered if he'd read the paper as she hurried up the

front porch steps.  Perhaps he was one of those people who

didn't look at his paper until after supper-she hoped so.  She

knocked on the door and waited impatiently, then knocked

again louder.  Lizzie barked sharply from inside, but the door

stayed firmly shut.  Maybe Mr. Westerly was outside put-

tering around.  She walked around the back of the house,

loudly calling Out his name, hoping he might be somewhere

close by, and willing to search every acre of his property just

to find him.  But as she called and looked, she continued to

hear Lizzie barking frantically from inside the house.  Sud-

denly it occurred to her that if Mr. Westerly was outside,

surely he'd have taken the dog with him.  So she went around

to the backdoor and tried knocking again.  She rapped on the

window of the door; carefully, for the glass pane rattled

loosely.  Then she cupped her hands over the reflective sur-

face and peered inside.  There, slumped motionless over the

kitchen table, was old Mr. Westerly!  

Trying the door handle, she discovered it was unlocked

and she went inside, her legs shaking as she approached the

table.  "Mr. Westerly?"  she said weakly.  "Are you okay?"  

Lizzie moved nervously around her feet as Maggie reached

out to touch his arm.  She watched in horror as it slid limply

from the table and fell loosely to his side.  Her heart pounded

louder than Spencer's drum set as she touched her fingers to

his old, wrinkled cheek.  Cold as marble.  She held her hand

by his nose and mouth.  No breath.  No pulse.  And there

crumpled beneath him was today's newspaper!  

"Oh, no!"  she cried as she backed away from the

dreadful scene.  "Oh, dear God, no!  Please, no!"  

Maggie never remembered calling 911 or her mother.  But

somehow Jed's pickup miraculously appeared shortly after

the paramedics had entered the house.  She was sitting on the

wooden porch steps, shivering in the cold and stroking  
	Looking for You All My Life	49

Lizzie's soft, warm coat, preventing the confused animal

from going inside and getting underfoot when Jed walked

up, took off his jacket, and hung it over her shoulders.  Then

he sat down next to her and gathered her into his arms.  

"Your mom told me everything."  

Hot, silent tears rolled down her chilled cheeks as she

leaned into his embrace.  "I've killed him, Jed."  

"No, no, Maggie, you didn't kill him," he spoke softly,

his words flowing like a gentle stream.  "He was an old, old

man.  He'd had a good life working on the land that he loved.  

He was a good man, but he was due to go anytime.  You

didn't kill him."  

"But he was reading the paper."  

"I know, I know..."  he whispered as he stroked her hair.  

"It's been a really bad day, Jed."  

She thought she heard him chuckle ever so softly, and she

looked up to see, but his face grew serious.  "Come on,

sweetheart, let's get you home.  There's nothing you can do

for the old fellow now."  

She looked down at the dog.  "What about Lizzie?"  

"Let's bring her along.  She seems to like you.  

Maggie brightened just a little.  "Yes, she does, doesn't

she."  
~ven after several days and the reassurance of good

friends, Maggie still struggled with feelings of guilt

over Arnold Westerly's death.  Though she knew it  

would be uncomfortable to attend his funeral, she was deter-

mined to do it for his sake.  The day following Mr. Westerly's

death, Scott had handed her a delicate glass figurine of a

young girl in a long blue dress, with dark hair curling around

her shoulders.  She had a sweet smile and was holding a

basket of kittens.  "Mr. Westerly asked me to give this to

you," Scott explained quietly.  "He said it had belonged to

his wife, but for some reason he thought you'd like it.  I think

you made quite an impression on him, Maggie."  Of course,

this had only started the tears to flowing again, but she

placed the figurine on her desk as a reminder of him.  

Only a handful of his relatives attended the funeral ser-

vice, and his granddaughter Jeanette, the one he'd been so

fond of, shared some happy memories of her childhood sum-

mers spent on the Westerly farm.  Afterward, Maggie lin-

gered, taking a moment to speak to Jeanette, telling her of

how her grandfather had been remembering his grand-

daughter only days before.  

51  
 

	52	Melody Carison

"Oh, so you're the one who wrote that article?"  

Jeanette's fine brows arched with what seemed like suspi-

cion.  

"Well, yes," stammered Maggie.  "I had tried to inform

your grandfather about the circumstances of-"  

"Rick Tanner says that story was what killed Grandpa."  

Maggie's cheeks flushed and she swallowed hard.  "But

did you read about what-"  

"I have no desire to read your small-town trash."  The

middle-aged woman turned abruptly and walked away,

joining Rick Tanner and his family, her back like a stone wall.  

Maggie studied the small group of mourners comforting

one another.  Part of her wanted to rush at Rick and publicly

accuse him of being responsible for all this.  But another part

of her felt guilty, and like a whipped dog she only wished to

slip quietly out the backdoor.  Just then she felt a nudge at her

elbow and turned to see Clyde wearing a clean plaid shirt

and bob tie.  

"Hanging in there, old girl?"  he asked, a kind warmth

lighting his faded blue eyes.  

She sighed.  "I was just soundly told off by Mr. Westerly's

favorite granddaughter."  

Clyde scowled.  "Hmph.  And then off she goes to consort

with the enemy.  Doesn't she have any idea what Tanner's up

to?"  

She shrugged.  "I guess not.  Or maybe she doesn't care.  

But I thought she was the one who really loved the farm."  

"Maybe she loves the money even more."  

"I didn't even get a chance to ask her about his dog."  

"Arnold's dog?"  

"We're keeping his Border collie at the house, but I won-

dered if someone in the family might want her."  

"How about if I go say something?"  offered Clyde.  

"Good luck," muttered Maggie.  She made her way to the

door, watching Clyde from the corner of her eye as he

approached the group.  Words were exchanged, but

Jeanette's gaze remained stony and Rick glared at Clyde with  
	Looking for You All My Life	53

open hostility.  Then Clyde handed Jeanette a business card,

probably for the Pine Cone, and walked away, joining

Maggie by the door.  

"I tried to talk some sense into that woman, but she just

won't listen.  I think Rick's poisoned her against us.  When I

mentioned the dog, she said she'd give you a call at the paper

on Monday.  I don't think she liked the idea of you having

her granddad's dog one little bit."  

"It figures.  And Leah was just getting attached to her."  

Maggie glanced out to the street as a stiff wind chased some

dry leaves across the sidewalk.  "Thanks for trying, Clyde.  I

better go now."  

"Don't you go on blaming yourself for Arnold's death,"

said Clyde quietly as he stepped out the door with her.  "We

all know he was old as the hills, but if anyone sent him out

before his time it was Snider and Tanner."  

"Thanks.  You're probably right."  

"You bet I'm right.  And we won't let them off the hook

now, will we?"  

She unlocked her car door, then turned to face Clyde,

noticing how his brow was furrowed with concern.  "No, we

won't!"  The words came Out with fresh resolve, and then she

nodded firmly.  "Somehow, we're going to make them sorry

they ever got into this land development business in the first

place."  

He grinned.  "Now that's my girl!"  

Jeanette stopped by the newspaper office on Monday and

Maggie took her directly to her office and invited her to sit

down.  She had given this conversation much thought and

even more prayer.  She began speaking slowly, in a gentle

voice.  "Jeanette, I know you loved your grandfather very,

very much.  And just for the record, I think he was a won-

derful, dear old man.  But I also know that you think my

article caused his-"  
	54	Melody Carlson

"I didn't come to talk about that," she snapped back.  

Then she abruptly stood, switching her purse to her other

hand with impatience.  "I only came here to discuss

Grandpa's dog."  

"Yes, Lizzie's a delight.  We've enjoyed having her."  

Jeanette appeared slightly surprised, almost as if she'd

suspected Maggie to be the type of person who might poison

or torture a poor, homeless animal whose master had died.  

Maggie continued, once again using a calm, gentle voice.  

"I will understand perfectly if you want to take the dog with

you.  However, you should know that Lizzie and I hit it off

the day I first visited your grandfather.  In fact, although I

only knew him briefly, I was quite fond of him."  She picked

up the figurine and turned it around in her hands.  "And I felt

absolutely horrible to find him like that-"  

"You found him?"  Jeanette's eyes narrowed.  "I thought

it was Rick."  

Maggie looked directly into the woman's eyes.  "Look, I

have absolutely no reason to lie to you about anything.  And

if I hadn't come to care so deeply about your grandfather, I

wouldn't even bother trying to convince you of the truth."  

She set down the figurine and picked up an edition of last

week's paper, holding it out toward Jeanette.  "And if you're

half the person your grandfather believed you to be, I'd think

you would want to read this article for yourself.  He spent a

lot of time telling me his side of the story, all of which is

included here."  

Jeanette reluctantly took the paper.  "Rick Tanner says it's

just a bunch of lies."  

"Why don't you read it, and then judge for yourself?  

There's nothing in there that can't be easily proven.  I'd like

your family to know the truth, Jeanette, even if it's too late

to change anything."  

"What do you mean, too late?  To change what?"  

"Just read the articledo it for your grandfather.  Then

we can talk if you want to."  
	Loo king for You All My Life	55

"Fine," she said sharply, her hand reaching for the door-

knob.  "I'll read it."  

Jeanette didn't call back until the following morning.  "I

was on the phone for most of the afternoon yesterday," she

began in what seemed a rather flat and emotionless voice.  "I

checked out everything you said.  I even questioned Rick

Tanner for myself."  She cleared her throat.  "And I want to

apologize to you, Maggie.  It seems you were right all along."  

"I'm so sorry about all this, Jeanette.  I know it must be

difficult for you to learn all about this right on top of your

grandfather's death.  But I want you to know that even as I

gathered my information, I kept wishing to be wrong."  She

sighed.  "And I had meant to warn your grandfather before

he read the article..  but I got there too late.  You see, my son

was in a car wreck that very same day."  

"Is your son all right?"  

"Yes, thank you.  Just a broken foot that he's now playing

up for all it's worth."  

Jeanette chuckled.  "I can understand that.  I have two

sons, and they always enjoy lots of sympathy for their sports

injuries.  

"Right.  Your grandfather told me about your boys.  At

one time, he'd hoped that one of them would want to run

the farm..."  

"Oh, if only I'd known about this development deal, I'd

have gladly agreed to have taken on the farm myself.  But at

the time, I was afraid it would cause a family squabble.  I

never dreamed anything like this would happen to the land.  

It just kills me to imagine a bunch of cheap condo units

springing up out here-and I had my husband check into the

outfit that you wrote about in your article, and they sound

like one of the worst sort of developers around."  
	56	Melody Carlson

"Have you considered having a lawyer go over all the

paperwork?  Maybe there's some kind of a glitch some-

where."  

"I already spoke to Grandpa's attorney.  And while he's

happy to look over the paperwork again, especially after

reading your article last week, he thinks the sale is legal and

watertight."  

"That's what Clyde's lawyer said too."  

"Well, I have to return home tomorrow, but I'm not fin-

ished with this yet.  I don't plan to leave any stone unturned.  

By the way, do you think you'd like to keep Lizzie after all?"  

"We'd love to.  She's a very sweet dog."  

"I'd take her myself, but my husband's allergic to dog

hair.  And because I work during the day, she'd be alone

much of the time."  

"Don't worry a bit about Lizzie.  She has lots of room to

run where we live, and she gets along well with our Lab.  And

I'll let you know if I learn anything new around here.  I plan

to continue following this whole development deal in the

newspaper and, believe me, I won't make it easy on those

guys."  

"Thanks."  Jeanette's voice sounded sad and weary.  "And

we thought the Tanners were our friends."  

"So did your grandfather."  

There was a long pause and then, "Maggie, if it's any

comfort to you, I don't believe your article killed Grandpa-

you were only the messenger.  Rick Tanner and Greg Snider

are responsible for breaking his heart.  Let his death be on

their heads."  

Maggie wrote down Jeanette's home phone number and

thanked her for calling before she said goodbye.  While she

appreciated the kind words, traces of guilt still remained

with her as she unwillingly recalled the sad kitchen scene of

Mr. Westerly crumpled over his newspaper.  More than ever

she realized that the printed word was a very powerful thing.  
	Looking for You All My Life	57

At noon she met Jed at the deli.  They settled into a corner

table, and she told him all about her conversation with

Jeanette.  

"That must make you feel a little better about the whole

thing," suggested Jed as he stirred his coffee.  

"Of course, but I'm still furious with Rick and Greg."  

"That's understandable.  I think a lot of us are still pretty

upset.  But don't let your anger eat away at you, Maggie.  It's

not worth it."  

"I know.  Believe me, I know.  I guess just hearing the

sound of Jeanette's sad voice got to me.  And now I'm all riled

up again.  Of course, I'll continue to cover the story in the

paper.  I've already started a piece for this week about Mr.

Westerly's death-and how he must've died unhappily.  But I

hate running it in our Thanksgiving edition as it's sort of a

downer and we wanted this to be an upbeat issue.  But if I

wait until next week, it'll be too late."  

"Maybe you could give the article a positive slant.  Why

not celebrate Arnold Westerly's well-lived life and accom-

plishments, and then refer to the sadness briefly at the end?"  

"That's a great idea, Jed.  Thanks."  

"And I happen to know he was a man of faith.  I'll bet he's

looking down on all this with some amusement right now."  

"Amusement?"  

"Yes.  Just think how a little farm down here in Pine

Mountain must seem a pretty small thing up there amidst all

that heavenly splendor."  

She smiled.  "I never thought of it like that.  But I suppose

you're right."  

"Anyway, getting back to Thanksgiving, I was wondering

if we might be able to squeeze in one more guest."  

"Of course."  Maggie pushed her empty soup bowl to the

side of the table.  "May I ask whom?"  

"Remember the man I told you about who's coming from

the South Pacific?  Well, he's already in Portland and plans to

arrive on the bus tomorrow."  

"This should be interesting."  
	58	Melody Carlson

"Yes.  He sounded like a real character on the phone.  And

by the way, let Audrey know that I'll bring the famous sweet

potato dish I told her about-the one my mother used to

make."  

Maggie smacked her lips.  "Sounds delicious."  

He reached out to take her hand while lowering his voice.  

"I've missed you."  

She sighed softly and nodded.  "Me too.  Life's been so

chaotic the last few days.  Maybe it'll slow down a little with

the holidays coming..."  She glanced out the window to the

clear, blue sky.  "Do you think it'll ever really let loose and  

	 	"I'm sure it will.  Just don't know when.  But I know

	 	everyone in town, including me, could use that ski traffic

	 	about now."  

	 	"Pretty slow?"  

	 	He nodded grimly.  "I'm thinking about taking some of

	 	my pieces to a big trade show up in Seattle next month.  It's

	 	kind of last minute, but a friend of mine offered to share his

	 	booth with me.  It would be a way for me to expand the busi-

	 	*ness-but I'm just not sure if the timing's right."  

	 	"It wouldn't hurt to try, would it?"  

	*	"I guess not.  But it might be a waste of my time and gas."  

	 	"Or you could end up with too much work."  

	 	"Or possibly miss out on some good business here.  The

	 	show happens about a week or so before Christmas-that

	 	could be a real busy time for the shop, especially if the ski

	 	season opens up by then, which it normally would."  

	 	"How's Leah doing these days?  She seemed a little

	 	stressed out last week.  She's been trying so hard, but I think

	 	her expectations are too high."  

	 	"She's getting the hang of it, and I'm trying to be patient

	 	with the learning curve.  I guess I never quite realized how

	 	spoiled I was having Kate with me for these past few years."  

	 	"I'm sure she'd come back to you in a heartbeat."  

	 	Maggie's eyes glinted mischievously, as if she were baiting

	 	him.  
F  

	Looking for You All My Life	59

He frowned.  "You know that's not what I meant.  Besides,

I'm sure you're wrong.  She and Buckie seem to be getting

along quite happily."  

"You're right.  I'm sorry, my insecurity must've gotten the

best of me for a minute there."  

He looked deeply into her eyes.  "Tell me what you could

possibly have to be insecure about, Maggie Carpenter."  

She returned his gaze.  "Absolutely nothing at the

moment."  

"Hey, you two," teased Rosa.  "You look like a couple of

moonstruck puppies.  I came over to try to entice you to have

some dessert."  

"I'll go for some of that cobbler," said Jed, "seeing how

you need the business and all."  

Rosa rolled her eyes.  "Thanks, I needed that reminder a

lot right now.  But don't forget, it's usually slow like this right

before Thanksgiving.  But afterward is a different story, at

least when there's snow, that is..."  

She returned with Jed's cobbler along with an extra

spoon for Maggie.  Then she refilled their coffee cups.  "We're

all looking forward to coming out on Thursday, Maggie.  Is

Audrey still sure she's up for all this?  It'sounds like it'll be

quite a crowd."  

"Believe me, Mom's in her element right now.  You should

see her lists and things.  She even made cute little pine cone

turkeys for each place setting."  She smiled at Jed.  "I'll tell

her to make one more for your friend."  

"We'll see you then," said Rosa.  "And in the meantime,

you two can be praying we get some snow-and soon."  

Jed laughed.  "Or maybe we should pray for patience.  

Sometimes we just need to learn to wait.  
7/ t's too bad your brother couldn't make it for Thanks-

giving," said Audrey as she checked the turkey once

again.  

"Well, at least we got him to commit to Christmas,"

Maggie said as she turned off the mixer.  "Hey, that reminds

me-Rebecca is coming then too.  Maybe we should do some

matchmaking..."  

"But Rebecca's older than Barry."  

"Oh, Mother!"  Maggie rolled her eyes.  "By only two

years.  And Rebecca's dated men who were ten years her

junior."  

"Now that you mention it, I do remember Barry dating a

woman quite a bit older than him to~although I don't

think it was a very good relationship."  

"Well, you just never know.  Anyway, it'll be so fun to

have more family here for Christmas, I can hardly wait!"  

Audrey stopped peeling potatoes for a moment and

turned to face her daughter.  "I'll bet just a year ago you'd

never have guessed you'd be hosting twenty people for

Thanksgiving dinner right now."  

61  
	62	Melody Carlson

	 	Maggie laughed as she poured the orange pumpkin batter

	 	into the golden pie shell.  "That's for sure.  Last year Spencer

	 	and I stayed home and had grilled chicken and watched TV"

	 	"You told me you were going to be with friends last

	 	year," scolded her mother.  

	 	"I just didn't want you feeling sorry for us and thinking

	 	you had to drive down to L.A.  and roast a big turkey."  

	 	Maggie licked the spicy batter from the wooden spoon

	 	before dropping it in the sink.  "Looking back now, I can see

	 	how depressing our life really was, but back then I never

	 	would have dreamed things could change so drastically in

	 	just one year.  Sometimes I think about how easily I could

	 	have missed all this and it almost scares me."  

	 	"What scares you?"  asked Jed as he poked his head in the

	 	kitchen, a large casserole dish in his hands.  

	 	"Hey, you're here!"  Maggie rinsed off her hands and

	 	turned to face him.  

	4	"Yeah, I saw Spencer outside hobbling around on his

	 	crutches, and he said to go on in.  So, anyway, what's this that

	 	scares you?"  

	 	She leaned against the counter and smiled.  "Oh, I was

	 	just telling Mom how frightening it is to think how I might

	 	not have moved up here, and about all that I would've

	 	missed as a result."  

	 	He winked.  "And the fun's just beginning."  He handed

	 	the dish to Audrey.  "It might need to get warmed up a little."  

	 	Then he called over his shoulder, "Come on in here, Michael.  

	 	I want you to meet our lovely hosts."  

	 	A short man dressed in multiple layers of clothing

	 	stepped into the kitchen doorway.  "Hello," he said with one

	 	of the brightest smiles Maggie ever recalled seeing.  His white

	 	teeth gleamed against his coppery skin, and his eyes shone

	 	with warmth and light.  "I am Michael Abundi and I am very

	 	pleased to make your acquaintance.  His accent was a blend

	 	of British and something else, but it rolled off his tongue

	 	with courtesy and grace.  
	Looking for You Alt My Life	63

Jed continued the introductions and Michael heartily

shook hands with each of them, smiling all the while.  "It is

very good to be here in Pine Mountain.  I have heard stories

and seen pictures of your country.  Now I must pinch myself

to think I am really here."  

"May I take your coat?"  asked Maggie.  

He shuddered slightly.  "But it is very cold here."  

Jed chuckled.  "Michael's having a little difficulty getting

acclimated.  He comes from a tropical island, you know."  

"Oh, of course," said Maggie.  "Why don't you both go

into the library.  Spencer has a nice fire going in there.  He and

Leah took the dogs Out for some exercise, but they'll be back

any minute.  And there are some snacks in there too."  

"Michael seems nice," commented Audrey as she

returned to peeling potatoes.  

"Yes, he seems very sincere.  It's too bad about the climate

adjustment.  That must be a shock to him."  

"That won't be his only adjustment," said Audrey as she

plunked a potato into the pot.  

"Well, I'm sure he'll have some culture shock too.  But he

seems like such a happy person, I'm sure he'll adapt

quickly."  

"I'm not talking about culture shock either, honey.  Have

you noticed that we have no blacks living in Pine Moun-

tain?"  

Maggie stopped chopping nuts for a moment and con-

sidered this.  "Now that you mention it..  although I've seen

African-American tourists in town-"  

"That's not quite the same.  Don't you think this could be

a little hard on Michael?"  

"I don't know why it should be any harder for him than

it is for Jed~r Rosa-for that matter.  They're both in a

minority."  

"And you know they both suffer for it occasionally.  But

I suspect it could be even worse for Michael.  I mean, let's not

be naive-this town has its share, or even more than its  
64 ~ Melody Carlson  

	 	share, of bigots tucked here and there.  Remember that

	 	family-what's their name?"  

	 	"You mean the Ebberts?"  Maggie laid down her knife.  "I

	 	think that rumor about their white supremacy group is a

	 	little far-fetched."  

	 	"But there's no denying their racial prejudice.  You told

	 	me yourself about the hate-filled letters they regularly send

	 	to the Pine Cone."  

	 	"Letters I never publish."  She scooped the nuts into a

	 	bowl.  "I suppose you've got a point, Mom.  But then again,

	*	I'm sure Jed will prepare Michael for this sort of thing.  

	 	Besides, I think it's about time this town grew up a little in

	 	the area of racial equality.  And if necessary, I'll write a big

	 	*old editorial stating just that."  

	 	Audrey laughed.  "Who would've thought editing a little

	*	paper like the Pine Cone could have turned my daughter into

	*	such a radical?"  

	 	Maggie grinned with a spark in her eye.  "Yes, it seems I'm

	*	just making new enemies left and right.  But it's sort of fun,

	 	you know."  

	 	"Just watch your backside."  Audrey's voice sounded

	 	slightly serious.  

	 	Soon the house was filled with people.  The Galloways

	 	came, minus Scott and Chloe as they'd driven to Portland to

	 	be with her family up there.  Elizabeth Rodgers arrived,

	 	freshly coifed and dressed in a purple velvet pantsuit.  She

	 	ruled over the library like royalty as she quizzed Michael

	 	about his homeland.  Buckie and Kate came, and Kate sur-

	 	prised Maggie by rolling up her sleeves and providing some

	 	much-needed help in the kitchen.  Even Clyde showed up,

	 	proudly bearing a large smoked salmon, a prize from last

	 	fall's deep sea fishing trip.  Then there were the Hendersons

	*	from the antique shop, the Jordans from the hotel, and Abi-

	 	gail from work.  A full house!  Maggie couldn't have been
	Looking for You All My Life	65

happier as she took orders from her mother and bustled

around the kitchen.  Somehow Audrey managed to fit

everyone around the two tables, with all leaves in, and

placed end to end with a decorative turkey at each place set-

ting.  Maggie's eyes grew misty as Jed said a heartfelt Thanks-

giving blessing.  She silently thanked God, once again, for

bringing her to Pine Mountain and joining her with all these

wonderful people who felt as close to her as family.  

Even after everyone was stuffed with the delicious dinner

and the tapered candles had melted into short flickering

stumps, the group continued to linger at the table, visiting

and laughing congenially.  

"Maggie, that was sure a nice piece in the paper yesterday

about old Arnold Westerly's life," commented Al Hen-

derson.  "Now, that man was a real part of our Pine Moun-

tain history."  

"Yes, and it's such a shame what those boys are going to

do to his farm property," said Clara, making a tsk-tsk sound

with her teeth.  "Poor old Arnold, I'm just sure that's what

finished him off."  

Maggie nodded sadly.  "It's too bad he couldn't have

passed quietly without hearing that bit of news."  

"Oh, I think you people are all getting a little paranoid

about this development deal," said Buckie as he leaned back

in his chair and contentedly folded his arms.  "Growth will

be good for this town."  

Brian Jordan nodded.  "Yes, if it's done right, that devel-

opment could be a real draw for the tourist traffic.  And

speaking for the hotel and restaurant, we could use some

business."  

"Hmph!"  Clyde sat down his coffee cup with a loud clink.  

"Done right?  I guess you fellows don't read your newspapers

very carefully.  Don't you remember what Maggie wrote

about the establishment that's doing most of the developing?  

Maybe our editor should refresh your memory.  Go on, tell

'em, Maggie."  
	66	Melody Carlson

	 	"Well," she glanced uncomfortably around the table.  She

	 	didn't like the turn their conversation had suddenly taken.  

	 	Yet everyone appeared interested.  Even Michael Abundi

	 	looked at her with open curiosity.  "According to my research

	 	this developer is notorious for taking beautiful land parcels

	 	and turning them into some pretty shoddy developments.  

	 	'Cheap and sleazy' is how the L.A.  Times described them.  

	 	Also, he's notorious for cutting corners, using cheap or even

	 	illegal labor and inferior construction materials.  Then he

	 	sells most of the units, leaves the place in the hands of bad

	 	management, and moves on."  

	 	"Oh, my," said Elizabeth.  "That sounds horrible."  

	 	"How can you be so sure?"  injected Buckie.  "What if it's

	 	all just hearsay?  Or suppose this developer's being slandered

	 	by his competition?  And don't forget how Rick and Greg

	*	were so opposed to bad development last summer.  Surely

	*	they won't let their very own property turn into the kind of

	 	mess you just described."  

	 	"The only reason those boys ever opposed development

	 	last summer was to protect their little scheme with Arnold

	 	Westerly," Clyde blurted out.  "Everyone knows it was

	 	already in the works, and they didn't want anyone coming

	 	in here with more money and cutting them out.  It's no secret

	 	they stole that land from Arnold."  

	 	"They stdle land?"  asked Michael with wide eyes.  

	 	"Not really," Jed quickly explained.  "They just didn't pay

	 	the old guy what it was truly worth.  In a sense, they cheated

	 	him."  

	*	"He signed the papers of his own free will," argued

	 	Buckie.  "No one forced his hand."  

	 	Maggie pressed her lips together, slowly stood, and qui-

	 	etly began to clear the plates from the table while the others

	 	continued to discuss this controversial topic.  Afraid she

	 	wouldn't be able to control her tongue if she sat there for

	*	another moment, she hoped to make a quick escape to the

	 	kitchen.  
	Looking for You All My Life	67

"We have some wonderful desserts still waiting,"

announced Audrey loudly so as to be heard above the banter

at the table.  Maggie silently blessed her mother for her

attempt to change the subject.  

"Perhaps we should all get up and move around a little,"

suggested Abigail.  "Otherwise I won't have any room for

dessert.  And I saw some beautiful pumpkin pies cooling on

the back porch that I'm dying to sink my teeth into."  

Back in the kitchen, Maggie planted herself in front of the

sink and began rinsing dishes.  "Don't let it get to you," whis-

pered Jed as he placed a stack of plates at her elbow.  "You

know how Buckie loves to stir up controversy.  He's just

playing devil's advocate."  

She sighed and continued rinsing.  "I hope you're right."  

Then Leah stepped up.  "Jed is right," she said, patting

Maggie's back in a comforting way.  "You know how Buckie

can be when he gets going on something.  Sometimes you just

have to ignore him."  

Maggie looked into Leah's eyes and smiled.  "Thanks,

Leah, I needed that."  

No one mentioned the development plans again.  But

Maggie felt sad when Buckie and Kate excused themselves

early before having any dessert.  They said they wanted to

catch a new movie in Byron, but she hoped it wasn't because

of the earlier disagreement.  Before long dessert was served,

and after that the teenagers went out to the barn t9 play

some music; then the Hendersons and Elizabeth and Abigail

all said their goodbyes.  The rest of the party settled into the

library to relax and visit.  

''So, tell me, Michael,'' began Clyde as he leaned com-

fortably back into a club chair next to the fireplace, "what

exactly brings you to Pine Mountain?"  

Michael smiled broadly, then stood up next to the fire-

place as if he was about to deliver a formal speech.  "Thank

you for asking, Mr. Barnes.  It is very good to be here.  I do

not know if you ever knew my good friend Steven Harris,

but he lived in Pine Mountain a long time ago."  

L  
	68	Melody Carlson

	 	Clyde thought for a moment. "Yes, I believe I do

	 	remember Steven.  His family was quite prominent in town,

	 	and I think Steven was about the age of my nephew.  Very

	 	good in sports as I recall.  Then he got all religious and went

	 	off to be some sort of missionary, I think I heard.  His folks

	 	had several businesses in town, but they moved away some

	 	years ago, and I haven't really heard anything about any of

	 	them since."  

	 	"Steven died on the mission field," injected Jed.  "He was

	 	also a good friend of mine.  In fact, it was letters from Steven

	 	that first helped me to realize how much I needed God in my

	 	life."  He looked down at the floor.  "I never really got to

	 	thank him for that."  

	*	"This is all true," said Michael.  "My friend Steven came

	 	to live in my country, a tiny island of Papua New Guinea

4  

called Beni-Beni, when I was just a boy.  After my mother  

died, my father went to the copper mine to work.  But he

never came back to get me; later I learned he had died in a

tragic mining accident.  It was Steven who took me in.  Steven

taught me to speak English.  He also taught me about God.  

Then he sent me to college to learn to be a pastor.  Not long

after I came back to my village, Steven became very sick with

cancer.  He wanted to get well so he could return to Pine

Mountain and tell the people there about God too.  But he

did not get well.  Before Steven died, I promised him that I

would come to his village to be a missionary in the same way

that he had come to my village.  And for seven years I have

worked and prayed and saved money until I had enough to

come here."  

"Did you ever become a pastor?"  asked Maggie with

concern.  

	 	of "Yes."  He smiled proudly.  "For eight years I was pastor

	 	Yosaba Church.  I also worked as a teacher in the primary

	 	school."  

	*	"Was it hard to leave your church behind?"  asked Rosa.  

	 	He tapped his chest.  "My church is with me-in my

	 	heart.  I left three good men in charge back in Yosaba.  Pastor
	Looking for You All My Life	69

James went to the same college as I, and he is a good man

who loves God.  And now that I am in Pine Mountain, I can

keep my promise to Steven."  

"So, you are going to be a missionary in Pine Mountain?"  

asked Clyde, scratching his head with a somewhat skeptical

expression.  

"I believe it is the will of God."  Michael smiled warmly.  

Clyde chuckled.  "Well, now I've heard everything.  But I

wish you the best, son."  

"I told Michael that I'd ask our church board if he might

preach at a service sometime," said Jed, glancing at Sam for

approval.  

"I can't speak for the whole board," said Sam, "but the

pulpit is mine this Sunday, and I'd be happy to offer it to

Michael."  

Michael beamed.  "If your people agree, I would be most

honored."  

Sam turned to Jed.  "I'll call around tomorrow and let you

know."  

It was already dark when the rest of the visitors began to

leave, but Leah managed to coax Jed and Michael to stay a

bit longer, discreetly tempting them with promises of left-

overs that Maggie later arranged buffet style on the kitchen

table.  Then everyone returned with loaded plate~s to eat

around the warm fire in the library.  

"You are a happy family," observed Michael after setting  

his now-empty plate aside.  "But I don't fully understand."  

He looked curiously at Jed.  "Leah is your daughter, I know.  

Is Maggie her mother?  Does that make Maggie your wife?  

But you live in different houses."  

Jed laughed.  "That's not quite right."  

"Maggie isn't my mother," said Leah quickly, "but I live

here and she's been a good friend to me."  

L  
	70	Melody Carlson

Maggie smiled at this, the second warm thing Leah had

said today. Perhaps things weren't as bad as she'd imagined.  

"Yes.  Leah's been living here with us for a while, and we just

don't want to let her go.  Spencer is my son.  His father died

two and a half years ago."  

Michael looked into Spencer's eyes.  "I am very sorry.  I

know how~it feels to lose your parents."  

"Thanks," muttered Spencer, obviously feeling self-

conscio us.  

"You must remember that God is your father now," con-

tinued Michael with conviction.  "And he will never leave

you."  

"Yeah, sure," said Spencer without looking back up.  

"Okay."  

"And Audrey is my mother," continued Maggie, hoping

to relieve Spencer from the limelight.  "She moved here per-

manently about a month ago.  She lives in that little house

over by the barn-most of the time."  She winked at her

mother.  

"That is good," proclaimed Michael.  "Family is very

good."  

"Yes," agreed Maggie.  "Family is very good."  

Jed's eyes locked with Maggie's from across the room.  

"But you're right, Michael," he said, "we are a happy family.  

Even if we're not all directly related, we're still like a family."  

"Yes," said Michael.  "I think it is a most wonderful

thing."  

Leah and Jed offered to clean up the supper dishes, and

Spencer hobbled around on his crutches, giving Michael a

tour of the house and property, returning quickly from being

outside on account of Michael's discomfort with the cold.  

He hovered over the fireplace, soaking in the heat with a

contented smile.  
	Looking for You All My Life	71

"I hope it doesn't take too long for you to get used to the

cold here," said Maggie from the couch.  "I don't know how

long you plan to stay, but it will get even colder when snow

comes."  

"Who is snow?"  he asked curiously.  

Maggie chuckled.  "Snow isn't a person.  It's what the

weather does when the rain gets so cold that it freezes and

comes down on the ground and makes everything turn all

white and sort of frozen."  

Michael looked slightly frightened.  "Oh, yes, I have for-

gotten about snow.  I have seen photographs of snow before,

but never have I touched it or seen it for real with my own

eyes.  It is very cold?"  

Audrey nodded.  "Yes.  And I understand how you feel,

Michael, because I used to live in a place where it was

warmer too.  But I think we'll all get used to it in time."  

"Yes," he agreed, "God will help us."  

Maggie went to check on the kitchen help and found Jed

by himself wiping off the table with a dishcloth.  "Hey, you

do good work," she said, looking around the kitchen in

approval.  

"Better give Leah the credit; she took the lead.  She just

went upstairs for something."  He set the rag by the sink and

moved closer to Maggie.  "I had a wonderful time today.  

Thank you for everything."  

She smiled as he reached to push a stray strand of hair

from her cheek.  Then his hand lingered on her shoulder, his

fingers gently kneading, sending little electrical currents

down her arm and up her neck.  

"It's like Michael said," she said quietly, "we are like a

family..."  

His face moved close to hers.  "A very happy family," he

whispered.  Then his lips brushed hers, first lightly, then

developing into a full kiss that left her heart fluttering and

her legs as limp as spaghetti.  

"I found it!"  called Leah as she burst into the kitchen,

holding a rumpled photo in her hand.  But she stopped in her  
	72	Melody Carlson

tracks when she saw them together, and then her eyes grew

dark and stony.  "Sorry.  I didn't know you-"  

"It's okay," said Maggie, quickly pulling herself from

Jed's embrace, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.  

"What do you have there?"  

"Nothing!"  snapped Leah as she turned and left the

kitchen, loudly thumping back up the stairs.  

"Oh, dear," moaned Maggie.  "And just when I thought

things were getting so much better."  

Except for a trace of sadness, Jed's face was unreadable

now.  "It's all my fault," he said finally.  "I hate hurting her

like this.  But I don't know what to do about-" He stopped

himself and looked down at Maggie.  "This is so frustrating.  

I just need to take some time to figure everything Out.  It's not

fair to anyone."  

She didn't know what to say.  On one hand, she wanted

to say, "Forget about Leah, and kiss me again!"  but that

would be immature and selfish on her part.  And on the other

hand, she hated seeing Leah hurt and longed for their rela-

tionship to return to normal-and she'd felt so hopeful only

minutes ago.  

"It's getting late," he said.  "I'm sorry about all this,

Maggie.  It's certainly not what I'd planned..."  

"It's okay.  It's not your fault," she said automatically.  But

she wondered which part he was sorry about.  Was it the

interruption or the kiss?  
aggie did a double take when she saw Clyde

~f// seated all by himself at the back of the church.  He  

wore an old suit jacket that looked like it might

have survived the Great Depression, and in his lap his old

fingers nervously rotated a black felt hat.  Maggie had never

seen Clyde in church before, and she smiled warmly as she

slipped into the pew next to him, followed by her mother

and then Spencer dumping in awkwardly with his crutches

rattling against the bench.  Meanwhile Leah went off,

Maggie felt sure, to search for Jed.  

"Thought I'd come hear what this young man has to

say," said Clyde, before she had a chance to comment.  

"How did you know for sure that he'd be preaching

today?"  

"I have my ways."  Clyde grinned slyly and then added,

"Saw Sam in the plumbing section of the hardware store yes-

terday afternoon.  He told me how to fix my leaky faucet

too."  

She smiled again as she focused her attention on the view

outside the tall windows up front.  Although the mountains

had received another light dusting last night, it was still not

nearly enough to open the ski resorts yet.  But the snow was  

73  
	74	Melody Carlson

beautiful, lit by the morning sun and shimmering white

against the clear blue sky.  She noticed Jed sitting in the front

row, with Michael and Leah flanking him on either side.  She

quickly averted her eyes back to the mountain scene, deter-

mined not to be distracted from today's sermon by Jed's pres-

ence or memories of Thursday night's kiss.  But it wouldn't be

easy.  

After what seemed a lengthy prelude of music and

announcements, Jed finally stepped up to the podium and

introduced Michael Abundi.  Instead of looking at Jed, Maggie

kept her eyes on Michael, smiling to herself as she noticed his

neat white collar and dark tie, barely visible beneath the layers

of sweaters that made him look as round as the Michelin Tire

Man, his expression a mixture of apprehension and excite-

ment.  But when he began to speak, his eyes sparking with

joyful exuberance, she quickly forgot his unusually rotund

appearance and listened intently to his words.  

"I must thank you all for allowing me to speak in your

--beautiful church today.  And I must thank God for bringing

me thousands of miles across the great, wide ocean to your

United States."  He continued naturally and with surprising

3eloquence and energy, telling them of the great miracles he'd

seen God perform back in his island village-how he'd wit-

*nessed actual physical healings, miraculous provisions, and

even how a woman was delivered from demons.  It was like

stories from the Bible coming to life.  And the way he told

-these tales, using actual names and vivid description, sounded

amazingly believable, while at the same time seeming almost

too fantastic to be true.  Then he read some portions of Scrip-

ture from the New Testament, describing those similar mira-

cles that had happened nearly 2,000 years earlier.  He spoke

of the miracle of faith and how it could move mighty moun-

tains, using the scene behind him as a very realistic visual aid.  

And it felt as if everyone in the entire church was sitting at

the edge of their pews, perhaps even hoping that he might

speak to their mountains and actually make them move.  Even

Clyde was leaning forward expectantly.  
	Looking for You All My Life	75

"And now, I ask you, dear people," he implored, turning

back to face the congregation.  "What miracle would you ask

of God today?"  He pointed out the window again.  "Surely

you do not wish to move these beautiful mountains!  For then

what would you see but flat, barren ground?"  The congre-

gation laughed.  

Mr. Mitchell from the Gas-n-Go stood up just then.  "I

have a suggestion, young man.  How 'bout you pray for

snow so our businesses can keep from going broke this

winter?"  Maggie wasn't sure if he was serious or not, but

several others chimed in their agreement.  And suddenly she

felt worried for Michael.  Was this some sort of test for him?  

or Michael, standing bravely before them, all bundled up

i1~his  

many layers of clothing, his simple faith so full of sin-

cerity.  Yet how could he possibly understand the differences

in their cultures?  How could he know how skeptical most

Americans could be about such things as faith and miracles

in the modern-day world?  

But Michael nodded thoughtfully, as if seriously consid-

ering Mr. Mitchell's request.  "Snow..."  he repeated the word  

"to help your village."  That's when Maggie remem-

b5leOWlY~  

red how much he disliked the cold and had seemed quite  

apprehensive on Thanksgiving when she'd described snow

to him.  Perhaps this wasn't the sort of miracle that he would

personally welcome.  But Michael closed his eyes and lifted

his hands, imploring God to send them snow, "...send lots

of snow!  So the good people of Pine Mountain might see and  

know your power and might!  That they might give you glory

and honor and praise!  Amen!"  

Some peered out at the still-blue sky, seemingly convinced

After the service people continued to talk about the snow.  

that it was actually coming at any moment now.  But most

appeared somewhat skeptical, although good-humoredly  

-joking about how they had better be getting out their snow

shovels and waxing up their skis.  Maggie wasn't even sure

what she thought, although the whole thing made her  

extremely uncomfortable.  Just the same, she heartily shook  

L  
	76	Melody Carlson

Michael's hand and thanked him for sharing the good mes-

sage about faith.  

By noon the following day, a canopy of lead-colored clouds

began to hang low and heavy, and a cold wind began to blow

from the north.  Maggie stood in the newspaper's reception

area and stared out the window in wonder.  She'd heard no

forecast of a weather change on the morning news today~er-

tainly no mention of any possible snow.  Perhaps this was just

another taste of their unpredictable mountain weather,

another tease of snow that would go as quickly as it came.  

"By golly, I think I smell snow in the air," said Clyde as

he came in the front door and peeled off his wool gloves.  He

leaned over Abigail's desk and flipped through the mail,

chuckling.  "Maybe that Michael Abundi has a direct line to

the big weatherman in the sky after all."  

"What are you going on about now?"  asked Abigail,

lowering her glasses and peering up at Clyde as if he were

going senile.  

He briefly explained yesterday's sermon, and Abigail

blinked in surprise.  Maggie wasn't sure if it was over Michael's

sermon or due to the fact that Clyde had actually attended a

church service.  "And so, Clyde Barnes," began Abigail with a

sharp note of cynicism, "are you saying that if it snows today,

you think it's a result of this young man's prayers?"  

Clyde laughed.  "If it snows today, Abigail, it's more'n

likely the result of a Canadian air current gone south, com-

bined with some freezing temperatures and high humidity."  

"But what about Michael's prayer?"  asked Maggie, sud-

denly feeling defensive of their faithful young visitor.  

He shrugged.  ''Might just be a coincidence.''  

"Might not," she quipped back.  "But coincidence or not,

I think it could be newsworthy.  In fact, I think I should do

an interview with Michael for this week's edition."  
	Looking for You All My Life	77

"Good idea," said Abigail.  "He's such a nice person, and

I'm sure he has lots of interesting stories to tell about his

-homeland."  

"Are you guys talking about Jed's island friend?"  asked

-~Scott, emerging from his office.  

"His name is Michael Abundi," said Maggie.  "Have you

met him?"  

"Not yet.  But my parents sure seem to like him."  

lik "Well, I want to schedule an interview with him.  And I'd

--e you to get a photo.  Michael's about your age, I'd guess.  

He'd probably enjoy meeting you."  

''Sounds good.''  Scott started to head back to his office,

then stopped.  "Hey, I almost forgot.  I came up with a little

something in my research that might affect the develop-

-menL" The way he pronounced "the development" left no

doubt as to his reference.  And Maggie could tell by the tone

of his voice that his news bit might be worthwhile.  

"What is it?"  she demanded eagerly.  "What did you

find?"  

He smiled slyly.  "Ever heard of wetland issues?"  

Her eyes lit up.  "Of course.  But does the Westerly prop-

erty have wetlands?"  

He nodded smugly.  "First of all, the back end of Snider's

land is a bog for most of the year-a great place for wild  

-l ducks and geese.  And the creek through Westerly's has a nice

natural pond over in the north corner, another attraction for

waterfowl and who knows what other kind of possibly

endangered species.  You know, the humpbacked three-toed

frog or something like that."  

"That's right."  Clyde nodded with interest.  "We used to

hunt ducks back there as kids."  

"Yes," said Scott, rubbing his hands together.  "I happen

to think we might have some hot wetland issues going here."  

Clyde cleared his throat.  "As you all know, I cannot abide

to see government bureaucrats interfering with anybody's

private property rights.  But in this case, I just might have to  

Lmake an exception."  
	78	Melody Carlson

Abigail nodded.  "I know just how you feel, Clyde.  My

husband, God rest his soul, used to go on and on about gov-

ernment sticking its big old nose into every area of our per-

sonal lives.  But when I think about what those development

boys are up to, all I can say is: sic 'em, Uncle Sam!"  

Maggie laughed, then sobered a little and said, "I just

hope we're not becoming a bunch of mean-spirited vigilantes

because of all this.  It's not like I want to seek revenge or any-

thing like that..."  -  

"Not revenge," said Clyde.  "Justice."  

"Yeah," agreed Scott, his tone becoming serious.  "And

don't forget we're doing this in honor of the memory of Mr.

Westerly."  

"That's right," said Abigail.  "For Mr. Westerly."  

"So, it looks as if we're all in consensus then," said

Maggie with a slow smile.  "And I didn't even realize we were

having an official meeting today."  

Scott started to duck back into his office, then popped his

head back out again.  "Oh, yeah.  There's something else I

almost forgot."  

They all looked at him again, but this time he said

nothing, only grinned foolishly.  "Well, what is it?"  asked

Maggie finally.  

"Chloe and I got engaged over Thanksgiving."  

-Everyone laughed and congratulated him.  Clyde even

pulled out one of his cigars and stuck it in Scott's pocket.  

"When's the big date?"  asked Abigail.  

~UmNew~ I know it sounds really crazy, but we're thinking

about Year's Eve."  

"This New Year's Eve?"  asked Maggie incredulously.  

Scott nodded.  "Yeah, seems kind of sudden, doesn't it?"  

"Are you kidding?  I would think Chloe's family would

need lots of time to plan for a big wedding.  Don't they know

just about everyone who's anyone up in Portland?"  

Scott's smile faded.  "Actually, they're not too excited

-about the whole thing.  I guess her dad thought this little stint

in Pine Mountain was just a phase for her or something.  Or  
	Looking for You All My Life	79

maybe he'd hoped Chloe's old boyfriend, Aaron Jackson,

was going to knock me Out of the running."  He sighed.  "The  

- MN date was Chloe's idea.  She has always dreamed of a New

Year's Eve wedding, but we didn't know if we wan?ed to

-~wait for a whole year."  Was Scott blushing beneath that

smooth olive skin?  

"And what does your family think about all this?"  asked

Maggie.  

"As you can imagine, they're totally thrilled.  You know

how much they all love Chloe.  Mom keeps bragging that

she's the one who discovered her for me in the first place."  

He laughed.  

I"So Chloe must be up to her eyebrows in wedding

plans," said Maggie.  "I cannot imagine how you two are

going to pull this thing off so soon."  

"Well, it helps that we have both decided we want a

small, intimate wedding-right here in Pine Mountain."  

"Oh, won't that be nice," gushed Abigail.  "If there's any-

thing I can do to hel~with flowers or decorations or any-

thing, you just tell Chloe to give me a call."  

"Same here," offered Maggie.  "And I know my mother

would be glad to help too.  She's quite fond of you two."  

"Thanks," said Scott, seemingly relieved.  "Chloe said she

wants to keep everything simple.  She's been involved in

plenty of high society weddings and she thinks they're

-nothing but a great big show of how much money the par-

ents have.  She doesn't want anything like that for us."  

- - "Good for her," said Clyde.  "Sounds like that girl's got a

good head on her shoulders."  

MN"Yes," agreed Maggie.  "I'm sure you two will be very

happy together."  

Maggie slipped into Dolly's Diner, quickly scanning the

MNmenu board to see "Hearty Vegetable Soup" listed there.  She  

tried to drop in the diner fairly regularly, if only to catch  
	80	Melody Carlson

some of the latest local gossip and to visit with Dolly; and if

she was lucky, there'd be a good soup of the day.  

"Here you go, honey," said Dolly as she plunked the

heavy pottery bowl down on the laminate-topped table.  

Then she leaned into the other side of the booth and quickly

pushed back the cafe' curtains to peer out the window.  

"Lordy, Lordy, if it isn't starting to snow out there!"  

Several people in the diner, including Maggie, turned to

gape out the windows and after a few seconds Maggie

spotted a single flake fluttering down.  "You're right, Dolly.  

I just saw a flake too."  

"Well, glory be!"  exclaimed Dolly.  "We might just make

it after all."  She turned to Maggie.  "Did you hear about that

funny little foreign man who came to town to pray for snow?  

Someone said he thinks he's a prophet or something."  

Maggie laughed uneasily.  "His name is Michael Abundi.  

He doesn't think he's a prophet-he only prayed for snow

because Al Mitchell asked him to."  She glanced out the

window again, this time to spy several flakes falling.  "And

who knows?  Maybe he does have a special connection with

God."  

"Fine by me," said Dolly happily as she headed back

toward the kitchen.  "Hey, Jinx, look out the window for a

minute!"  

Maggie slowly ate her soup, continuing to watch with

fascination as the flakes grew in both number and size.  By

the time she left the diner, the street and sidewalk were

already coated with a thin veneer of white.  Several shop-

keepers and businesspeople were standing at their windows

or outside their doors exclaiming over this very welcome

change of weather.  

''Better late than never,' called Elizabeth as she waved

from the open doorway of the Window Seat bookstore.  

"Looks like we'll be having some great book-reading

weather before long!"  

Maggie saw Jed's pickup pulling up in front of his shop,

then he and Michael hopped out.  Michael, like a young  
	Looking for You All My Life	81

child, excitedly raised his hands and danced about in the

falling snow.  She zipped her jacket to her chin and hurried

over to greet them.  

"God has sent snow, Maggie!"  cried Michael.  "Another

miracle!"  

"Yes," she agreed.  "It's wonderful!  Thank you for

praying."  

His dark eyes grew serious.  No, no-it is not because of  

Maggie.  It is God's miracle, not mine."  

She nodded.  "Yes, I see what you mean.  And of course

th~' snow."  

u're absolutely right, Michael.  We should thank God for  

"Say, Maggie," said Jed, "do you think I might borrow

your car this afternoon to take Michael over to Byron?"  

"Sure," she said.  She dug into her purse, curious as to

why Jed would need her car.  "Here are the keys."  

"Thanks-"  

"Jed!"  called Leah from the front door of the shop.  

someone from that furniture show on the phone

wThere~s  

ho needs to talk with you."  

"I'll have your car back by four;" called Jed as he ducked

into his shop.  

Maggie noticed Michael shivering in the cold.  "You

should go inside and get warm, Michael.  But whenever you

Lhave time, I'd like you to come by the newspaper office. I

want to ask you some questions about your life, and then I'd

like to write a story about You to put in the newspaper."  

His eyes lit up.  "You want to write about me in your

newspaper?"  

"Yes, I think it would interest our readers.  Would that be

okay?"  

He nodded vigorously.  "It is wonderful.  Praise be to God!  

I will come tomorrow if that is all right.  I am going with Jed

to do something special today."  

"Yes.  Tomorrow is perfect.  How about nine o'clock in

the morning?  That way we can get it into this week's paper

with your photo and everything."  
	82	Melody Carlson

"I will come ifjed can bring me, for I do not drive a car."  

He grew~thoughtful.  "But I can paddle a canoe."  

She grinned.  "I bet you can.  See you tomorrow then."  

	 	By late afternoon, at least six inches of snow had accu-

	 	mulated.  Maggie stepped out of the newspaper office and felt

	 	as giddy as a child as she surveyed the town now coated in

	 	a clean blanket of white.  Shop windows glowed warmly, and

	 	the old-fashioned lampposts looked cheerful, their golden

	 	Llight reflected on the freshly fallen snow. It was like a Cur

	 	rier & Ives card-a true winter wonderland!  Jed had

	 	returned her car only moments ago, and Abigail had encour

	 	aged her to go home early so that she could practice her

	 	snow driving while it was still light enough outside to see

	4	"Now, take it nice and slow, honey," the older woman had

	 	sagely advised her.  "No fast moves, gentle braking, gentle

	 	steering..  and you'll be just fine."  Maggie hurried over to her

	 	car; relieved that her windows were still cleared of snow as

	 	she hopped into the driver's seat, still slightly warm.  On the

	 	dashboard was a new ice scraper probably a thank-you gift

	 	from Jed for borrowing her car.  How thoughtful of him.  But

	 	something seemed different inside.  She sniffed the air curi

	 	ously-there was a distinct, pungent aroma of rubber.  She

	 	turned around to see where it was coming from, and there in

	 	the back of her station wagon was a set of four tires.  How

	 	very odd.  Then she recalled Jed quizzing her on Thanks

	 	giving about whether she'd gotten snow tires yet.  She

	 	hopped out of her car to examine her tires-and there, sure

	 	*enough, she could see shiny, metal studs gleaming in the

	 	afternoon light.  Jed had taken her car over to Byron to get

	 	snow tires put on for her!  She smiled happily as she climbed

	 	back in and started the engine.  Now, if that wasn't

	 	love..  .what indeed was?  She carefully navigated Main Street,

	 	her confidence growing steadily (and greatly, due to her new

	 	tires).  She turned off toward home alone.  There was no need
Lookin~ for You All M~ Life  

to pick up Leah today as she'd said this morning  

going to bring her home later-after they'd had dinner  

Pine Mountain Hotel.  Maggie hated to admit, even to herself,

that she'd felt a keen prick of jealousy about this news,

wishing that Jed was taking her instead.  But in the same

instant she'd been happy for Leah's sake, realizing how the

poor girl might actually be feeling the exact same way toward

her much of the time.  And although it made little sense,

Maggie suspected this little threesome wasn't going to be an

easy dance to do.  At least Spencer seemed to be happily

adjusted to sharing his mother with Jed.  Then again, boys

were different about these things, plus he had a grandmother

as well.  Perhaps it was an unfair comparison altogether.  

Maggie told her family about Scott and Chloe's good

news as they sat together at the dinner table.  "And I even

offered your help, Mom.  Ihopeyou don't mind.  But I'm sure

they'll need all the help they can get trying to do something

like this at such short notice.  

Audrey beamed.  "I don't mind at all.  You know how I

love weddings.  But New Year's Eve, that's awfully soon."  

Maggie explained the couple's reasoning and Chloe's desire

for a small, simple wedding.  "Actually, the more I consider the

whole thing, I think it sounds rather sweet and romantic."  

Audrey gave Maggie a long, slightly suspicious look, and

then changed the subject from weddings.  "I have a few leads

for a building that might house the town's library," she said

as she ladled out the turkey noodles that were, thankfully,

the final remnant of their Thanksgiving dinner.  

"Great, Mom."  Maggie passed the rolls to Spencer.  

"What are they?"  

"Well, I wrote down the addresses of all the vacant build-

ings in town that seemed like they might work for a library,

then I went and looked them up at County Records in Byron.  

I thought if I could get someone to donate a building, it  
	84	Melody Carlson

would give us more funding td use to stock the shelves-not

to mention it's a tax write-off for the donor."  

"Good thinking, Grandma," said Spencer between bites.  

"So, did you find anyone willing to give you a building yet?"  

I"Not yet.  But I thought it was interesting that one

building belongs to a Steven Harris, Sr. That must be

Michael's friend's father, don't you think?"  

"I doubt there was more than one Steven Harris family

in this tiny town, said Spencer as he buttered another roll.  

"But I thought Clyde said the family left town over ten

years ago," said Maggie.  

"That's probably right."  Audrey poured some salad

dressing.  "There are a number of properties that have sat

vacant for years because the real estate value around here

has been so deflated."  

"But isn't that changing now?"  asked Spencer.  

Maggie nodded.  "Without a doubt.  And it should con-

tinue to go up."  

"Especially now that we're getting snow!"  said Spencer

with enthusiasm.  

"It certainly won't hurt anything," agreed Maggie.  "We

must've gotten six inches in town already.  I wonder how

much that makes up at the ski resort?"  

"And it's still falling," reminded Audrey.  

"I bet those lifts will be opening up by next weekend."  

Maggie glanced over at Spencer with a smile.  

But suddenly he grew sad, and at the same instant she

remembered his foot hidden beneath the table, still in its

cast.  "Doesn't that thing come off in a couple weeks?"  she

asked hopefully.  

"Yeah, the doc said maybe by mid-December; if I'm

lucky."  He looked glum.  "I almost wish the snow hadn't

come yet."  

"Oh, Spence," said Audrey, "I know how frustrated you

must be, but try to be happy for the rest of the town."  
IF  

	Looking for You All My Life	85

"It's just that I've been waiting forever for snow, and now

this stupid cast will make the next two weeks feel like two

years!"  

"Well, after seeing your midterm grades, I think you

might be smart to use this time to catch up on some of your

homework."  

Spencer made a face at his mother; and then returned to

slurping his soup.  

"I think we got sidetracked, Mom," said Maggie.  "Now

what were you saying about Steve Harris' parents?  Do you

plan to use that building for the library?  And which one is it

anyway?"  

"It's that great big old warehouse sort of building on the

east end of town.  It looks like a giant box with blue paint

peeling off in big chunks.  I think it used to be a grain mill or

something like that."  

"And you think that would make a good library?"  

"Well, no.  It certainly wouldn't be my first choice, or even

my second one for that matter.  It would take far more than

my lifetime to accumulate enough books to fill that building.  

Actually, I was thinking of a much smaller scale, but I

thought I'd consider all options to start with.  Besides, it

might be interesting to talk with the Harris family-I bet

they'd like to hear about what Michael is doing here."  

"Oh, yeah."  Spencer pointed his spoon in the air.  "Can

you believe that the day after Michael prays for snow, it

actually happens?  Do you think it's a real miracle?"  

"I think it's an amazing coincidence," said Audrey as she

placidly stirred her coffee.  

"I'm not sure what I think," said Maggie honestly.  "I

think it could be a miracle.  I have no doubt that God could

do something like that-I'm just not sure why he would."  

"Maybe it's just like Michael said."  Spencer leaned back

in his chair.  "Maybe it's to show how powerful God is."  

"Maybe."  Maggie buttered a roll.  "But it does make me

wonder-why would God choose to answer one particular

request for a miracle, say like sending down snow, but not  

L  
	86	Melody Carlson

	 	answer another, say like when Michael prayed for Steven

	 	Harris to be healed of cancer?"

	 	"Why don't you ask Michael about that?"  suggested

	 	Audrey.  

	 	"Good idea.  In fact, I'm interviewing him in the morning.  

	 	I'll put it on my question list."  

	 	"And here's another question," said Spencer with a gleam

	 	in his eye.  "Why don't you ask him if he can pray for my foot

	 	to be completely healed before the slopes open up?"  

	 	The two women chuckled over this, and then Maggie

	 	grew more serious.  "Already there are some strange rumors

	 	going on around town about Michael.  Some people are

	 	making fun of him.  I just hope they don't get carried away

	 	with all this miracle business.  Poor Michael, I'd hate for

	 	folks to start treating him like some sort of sideshow freak

	 	or something."  

	 	I"I'd be more worried about those people who might hate

	 	him because of the color of his skin," said Audrey.  "Just

	 	today, Clara Henderson told me that Lou had heard that

	 	Lthat Ebbert fellow is up to no good. He wanted to post a

	 	flyer at their store about some meeting or something.  Of

	 	course, Lou refused."  

	 	"Yeah, and there are a few kids at my school who're

	 	*pretty weird when it comes to all that kind of crud," said

	 	Spencer.  "I can't believe them.  They draw swastikas on their

	 	hands and walk around with their heads all shaved, wearing

	 	these stupid-looking army fatigues.  You halfway expect

	* *	them to click their heels and salute 'Heil Hitler' at any given

	 	moment."  

	*	"They're probably just going through a phase," sug-

	*	gested Maggie weakly.  

	 	"A dangerous phase," said Audrey.  
aggie grabbed her jacket and went Out on the

porch as soon as she spotted Jed's headlights

pulling into her driveway.  The snow had stopped  

falling now, and she was amazed at how easily she could see

the porch light reflected on the shiny surface of new  

with  

0w.  She waved as Leah hopped out of Jed's pickup.  Then  

Jed stuck his head up over the top of the cab and called out,  

"Hey, Maggie.  This enough snow for you yet?"  

"It's totally wonderful!"  she called.  "I love it!  I just

wanted to say thank you for getting those snow tires on, and

just in the nick of time too!"  

"No problem.  I was taking Michael over to Byron

anyway."  

"Come on in and I'll write you a check for them.  And we

can make some hot cocoa if you have the time.  

"Sure!"  He climbed down from the truck and walked

over.  "Cocoa sounds good.  But forget about the check,

Magpie.  The tires are a gift."  

"Oh, no, Jed.  That's too much-"  

"Now, if you keep going on about this, I'll have to forgo

the cocoa and go home," he warned.  

87  
 

	88	Melody Carlson

	 	"Better listen to him," said Leah as she stomped the snow

	 	off her lightweight leather shoes.  "I guess I'll need to get

	 	some real snow boots."  

	 	"I have a pair that you can borrow until you get some,"

	 	offered Maggie.  

	 	"Great.  I'll go start up the cocoa," said Leah happily.  

	 	"How did your dinner go?"  Maggie turned to Jed after

	 	Leah closed the front door behind her.  

	 	"Very nice."  He reached for her hand.  "We even talked

	 	about you some."  

	*	"You did?"  She looked up into his face and smiled.  

	 	I"Leah really admires you a lot, Maggie.  She said that

	 	sometimes she actually wishes you were her mother.''  

	 	"That's so sweet."  She squeezed his hand, enjoying the

	 	warmth and strength of his long, sturdy fingers wrapped

	 	around hers.  

	 	"But she also said that sometimes she feels like she's in

	 	competition with you-and she doesn't like that at all."  

	 	"Oh..."  Maggie's smile faded.  

	 	"I tried to explain to her that the way I feel about you

	 	doesn't in any way affect or diminish my feelings for her.  

	 	And I know she's trying hard to be very mature and under-

	 	standing about all this, but she openly admitted that she

	 	doesn't want to share me with anyone else right now."  

	 	"Oh..."  

	 	"And when you think of all she's been through-I mean,

	 	her mom, the stepdads, the live-in boyfriends-well, it's not

	 	all that surprising, I suppose."  

	 	"No, not at all.  I understand it completely."  More com-

	 	pletely than she cared to admit, for the truth was, she didn't

	 	Lwant to share Jed with anyone else right now either. But for

	 	Leah's sake, and because she was the adult here, she knew

	 	she would have to at least try.  

	 	"And so..."  He bent his face closer to hers, his strong fin-

	 	gers still wrapped securely around her own.  "I told Leah that

	 	maybe you and I could sort of..  well..  .put our relationship

	 	on hold for the time being, just long enough to give her some
IF'  

	Looking for You All My Life	89

time to adjust to everything."  He smiled down at her.  "It

doesn't change how I feel about you a bit."  

Maggie felt a lump grow in her throat as she slowly

pulled her hand from his.  "Okay..."  she said weakly.  "I

guess that makes sense."  

"I figured if we set our relationship aside for a short

while, Leah will begin to feel more secure and, hopefully,

she'll understand how committed I am to her as her father."  

"Right."  She tried to swallow the tight lump and nodded

her head.  "I understand, Jed, really I do."  

He squeezed her arm with a slight frown.  "Believe me,

Maggie, this isn't easy for me to do-" Just then the front

door opened behind her; and the porch was flooded with

light from the house.  Jed looked beyond her and smiled.  

"Hey, there," called Leah.  "The cocoa's almost ready.  

Want me to bring it out to the porch?"  

"No, we'll come inside," said Maggie, quickly turning to

enter her house.  "It's getting pretty cold out here."  

Audrey and Spencer joined them in the kitchen.  Everyone

talked of the snow and the upcoming ski season with excite-

ment.  Even Spencer seemed better now, boasting to Leah

that, even with his foot in a cast, he could probably snow-

board better than she, as she'd never skied or skateboarded

or anything.  

"Don't be so sure of yourself," teased Leah, "Sierra

promised to give me lessons on opening day, and she thinks

I'll be really good.  By the time you get up there I'll probably

be way ahead of you."  

His face grew sober.  "Yeah, I'll probably never get to

snowboard.  I'll probably be permanently crippled when they

finally take off this stupid old cast."  He thumped his foot

loudly on the floor and then grimaced.  

Leah placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.  "No you

won't, Spence.  I was just kidding.  I'm such a big chicken, I'm

sure you're going to be way better at snowboarding than me.  

I'll probably end up having some big old wipe out on my very

first run and end up in a complete bodycast, or at the very

least, crutches for the rest of the season."  
	90	Melody Carlson

Spencer laughed, holding his crutches out.  "Hey, I'll let

you use these if you want!"  

"Let's hope no one suffers any more broken bones," said

Maggie with a serious tone.  

"Here, here," agreed Audrey, holding her cocoa mug up

as if in a toast.  "And here's to a whole lot of snow and a

great winter season for Pine Mountain."  

They all held up their mugs.  "To a good season," said

Jed.  "And thanks be to God for sending us snow."  

Maggie smiled at him, telling herself that this little delay

in their relationship was really for the best and that anything

worth having was worth waiting for.  Of course, her heart

wasn't a hundred percent convinced by her mental pep talk,

but at least she could try to be a good sport about the whole

thing.  

	 	Maggie spent nearly an hour interviewing Michael the

	 	next morning, the whole time wondering what possible

	 	angle she might take with this story.  He made it perfectly

	 	clear that his main purpose in coming to Pine Mountain was

	 	to be a missionary, or in his own words, "to preach the good

	 	news to the lost souls that my good friend Steven cared so

	 	deeply for..."  How could she write that in the newspaper?  

	 	She could just imagine certain individuals taking strong

	 	offense to being Michael Abundi's "mission field," and yet

	 	she didn't want to compromise his message either.  Finally

	 	Scott stopped by to take Michael outside on the porch to

	*	shoot some photos, and after that he gave him a tour of the

	 	newspaper office.  Maggie sat at her desk, going over her

	 	notes.  Perhaps she'd play up the Steven Harris connection,

	 	maybe even contact his parents for a quote-she knew she

	 	could get the number from her mom-then she'd show how

	 	this unusual friendship had motivated Michael to come over

	 	here.  She'd already completed her opening paragraph by the

	 	time he stopped in to say goodbye.  
	Looking for You All My Life	91

"Thanks for coming, Michael."  She smiled up at him.  "I

think I'll try to reach Steven Harris' parents for some com-

ments on this story."  

"Steven's parents?"  His dark eyes grew wide.  "I have

never met them.  Do they live here in Pine Mountain?"  

She shook her head.  "No, but I think I might be able to

reach them."  

He frowned slightly.  "They did not approve when Steven

chose to leave his home to become a missionary.  He wrote

them often, but they never wrote to him.  Not until he

became ill ..."  

"Oh my.  How sad."  

"But I would like to speak to them-if you think they

would be willing to speak to me-or maybe they will not

want to...  

"If I reach them, I'll remember to ask," offered Maggie,

suddenly unsure as to whether she wanted to include their

quote in her article or not.  

"All right.  I must go now.  Thank you."  

"Stay warm!"  she called as he left her office.  

She returned to her writing until she heard Abigail on the

intercom.  Her voice sounded stiff and formal as she spoke.  

"Ms. Carpenter, a Mr. Ebbert is in the lobby wishing to see

you.  I told him you were busy right now.  But he demands-"  

"That's right!"  came a loud male voice, also over the

intercom.  "I demand to know why you people aren't

printing my letters to the editor in your newspaper!"  

Maggie thought for a moment.  She hated leaving poor

Abigail on her own to deal with this troublemaker, but she

was just as reluctant to invite him into her office and listen

to his ranting and raving.  She'd heard he was long-winded

and could go on for some time.  "Just a moment," she

answered.  "I'll be right out."  Then she quickly saved her

story on the computer and braced herself for what she felt

sure could turn into an ugly confrontation.  

Expecting to find an angry-looking skinhead much like

Spencer had described last night, she was surprised to see a  
	92	Melody Carlson

large, tall man wearing blue jeans, a dark green parka, and

a full head of hair.  But it was his facial expression that gave

him away.  It was as if the hatred had been etched deeply into

his features.  His mouth turned down at the edges and a deep

line furrowed between his brows.  She doubted this man had

ever laughed much.  

"I'm Maggie Carpenter, the editor of the Pine Cone."  She

made this announcement without extending her hand in

greeting.  Perhaps it was petty of her, but after having read

his letters, she just couldn't force herself to shake his hand.  

He glowered down at her.  "I want to know why you're  

college writing class.  I use correct grammar and punctuation,

not printing any of my letters in your paper.  I got an A in my  

	 	and my spelling is pretty decent.  Maybe you people just

	 	don't believe in freedom of speech!"  

	 	"We don't print every letter we receive, Mr. Ebbert."  

	 	Actually, other than his, they usually did.  ''And it has

	 	nothing to do with freedom of speech."  

	 	"Yeah, well, I thought the editorial page was a place

	 	where the paper allows everyone to express their opinions

	7	whether or not the editor agrees with the content.  Am I not

	 	correct, Ms. Carpenter?"  He pronounced the "Ms." as if

	 	pelting an insult her way.  

	 	"That's correct.  We quite often print letters with differing

	 	opinions-the diversity adds interest to the paper.  As you

	 	may recall, last summer we quite regularly published Greg

	 	Snider's letters even though he was quite critical of the views

	 	of the newspaper and of me personally."  

	 	"Right!"  He growled as he reached into his parka.  

	 	Maggie took a sudden step back, fearing that this man could

	 	actually be armed and dangerous.  Back at the Times, they

	 	had security guards and metal detectors for moments like

	 	this.  But he simply removed a wrinkled sheet of paper and

	 	stepped forward to wave it in her face.  "Well, here's another

	 	letter that I'm certain is contrary to your views.  Is there any

	 	~reason you can't print it in this week's paper?"  

	 	"There may be.  But I'll need to look at the letter-"
	Looking for You All My Life	93

"I'm sure you will!"  His voice grew loud and he snatched

it back from her.  Just then Scott opened his office door and

leaned his head out to see who was making all the noise.  Mr.

Ebbert continued, "I'm sure you'd look at it real carefully-

right as you chuck it into your trash can!"  

Now she was mad.  "I'll have you know, Mr. Ebbert, that

I do read your letters.  And for your information, the reason

I don't print them in our paper is because they are filled with

hatred, bigotry, and racism.  And while those may be your

opinions, they are hurtful and mean-spirited and bring

absolutely no good to this community.  So unless you can

think of something else to write about, you will never see a

single word of yours printed in this paper!"  

"Fine!"  He turned on his heel.  "I've come up with

another way to get the word Out before this whole town is

crawling with a bunch of undesirables!  If we don't protect

the motherland, who will?  Certainly not bleeding heart lib-

erals like yourself!  You think you're going to change this

town, Ms. Carpenter-well, you're in for a big surprise.  

There are more of us than you think.  We were here long

before you came, and we'll still be here after you leave!"  

"For your information, Mr. Ebbert, Pine Mountain is my

home, and I have no intention of leaving, thank you very

much!  And as this is my home, and I am an American, I will

continue to stand up for the rights of all Americans-for no

matter what our religion or skin color is, we are all Ameri-

cans-and that's what this country is all about.  If you don't

believe me, maybe you'd better leave.  Go take a look around

your 'motherland,' as you put it, and you'll quickly discover

that our country is made up of many people from all kinds

of ethnic backgrounds."  

After this little speech, Abigail, Scott, and even Clyde,

who had just slipped into the reception area, burst into

hearty applause and cheers.  

"Speaking of leaving," said Clyde as he stepped up to Mr.

Ebbert and opened the front door, "don't let us keep you.  
	94	Melody Carlson

And don't bother sending any more of your hate mail here

again.  It's just a waste of good paper and ink."  

"A lot like your liberal rag of a newspaper!"  he growled

as he stomped out the door.  "I wouldn't even use it to line

the bottom of a birdcage!"  

Clyde slammed the door behind him, then said, "I'd say

that's good riddance to bad rubbish!"  

"Man," said Scott, turning to Maggie.  "You're like a

magnet for trouble, aren't you?"  

She held her hands up helplessly.  "I guess so.  Honestly, I

don't know why I keep attracting these troublemakers."  

"It's because you stand up for what's right," said Abigail

"and there's nothing wrong with that either."  

"Thanks for stepping in, Clyde," said Maggie.  "And

thanks to you guys for standing behind me like that.  It meant

a lot."  

"That guy's a total jerk."  Scott started to head back to his

office and then paused.  "And I don't believe a word of his

little act about how there's so many out there who think like

him.  I bet even the likes of Greg Snider and Rick Tanner

wouldn't go in for all that hate garbage."  

"You're probably right, but you know it might be inter-

esting to do an article on Mr. Ebbert's little hate group," sug-

gested Maggie.  

Scott snapped his fingers.  "Good idea!  Man, I'd love to

do a story about them.  Do you think I could do it, Maggie?  

Please?"  

IShe considered his request for a moment-it was just the

sort of story she would love to break herself.  It might even

be something that the Associated Press might pick up if done

Iright.  But then again, she knew it was a great opportunity

for Scott as well.  And right now his pleading face reminded

her of Spencer and she softened.  "Yeah, Scott, I suppose it's

about time for you to get your feet wet with something

beyond the local human interest story.  Besides, I'm swamped

with this TS Development business and now researching for

Iall these environmental issues.  But I want to work with you  
	Looking for You All My Life	95

IIon it, okay?  I want you to do your best work.  Remember,

II~this is investigative reporting-be thorough and don't rush

it Get all the facts you can and take lots of photos too.  

Maybe even do some research ,about hate groups in the

Northwest as a whole while you re at it.  

"All right!"  His face lit up.  "I can't wait to start in.  You

know, this could be really big!  Thanks, Maggie."  

"Sure, and who knows, maybe in time, you'll turn into a

bit of a trouble-magnet yourself.''  

"Cool!"  

Back in her office, Maggie called her mom and got the

phone number for Steven Harris' parents.  She wanted to

finish up this little piece today, and it made sense to include

a bit about Steven because he, in essence, had started this

whole Michael Abundi thing in the first place.  

"Hello?"  said Maggie when a woman answered.  "Is this

Mrs. Harris?"  The woman confirmed and Maggie began by

introducing herself as the editor of Pine Mountain's only

newspaper.  

"We used to live in Pine Mountain," said the woman as

if reminiscing.  

"I know," said Maggie.  "And you had a son named

Steven?"  

I"Yes, but he passed away some time ago."  Her voice

grew sad.  

"I'm terribly sorry for your loss.  A dear friend of mine

was quite close to your son during his school years.  Do you

remember Jed Whitewater?"  

qu "Oh, yes.  He was such a nice young man.  Very smart and

iet as I recall.  And a good friend to Stevie.  Whatever  

became of Jed?"  

Maggie filled her in on the recent details of Jed's life and

how things were going in Pine Mountain in general.  "The

main reason I'm calling is because another good friend of  
	96	Melody Carlson

your son's has shown up in town recently and I am writing

an article in the paper about him."  

"Oh, who's that, someone famous?"  

"Not really.  Your son helped him out while living in

Papua New Guinea.  The young man's name is Michael

Abundi."  

"Yes, I do remember that name from some of Stevie's let-

ters.  Didn't his parents die when he was a young boy?"  

"Yes, and Steven raised him and sent him to school.  But

Michael was a little worried that because you and your hus-

band had disapproved of Steven's decision to become a mis-

sionary, that you might be reluctant to discuss all this

Although, I must say, you seem very open to me, Mrs.

Harris."  

"Please call me Barbara.  And that whole opposition thing

was mostly Stevie's father's doing.  He thought Steven was

throwing away his life, and then when he got sick and died

my husband blamed his death on his choice to go live  

some 'God-forsaken foreign country.'  My husband died last

winter.  Ironically, he also died of cancer."  

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs.-Barbara.  Have you other chil-

dren?"  

"No, Stevie was our only one.  He was such a dear boy.  $

And I'm proud that he lived his life doing what he thought  

Iwas important.  Oh, maybe I don't completely understand it,

but I respect him for it.  His father spent his whole life just

making a lot of money, but it sure didn't seem very worth-

while to him when we lost our only son, or even when he

himself died last year.  What good does it do him now, I  

t  

wonder?  You know, I'd trade all that money just to have  

both of them back-and speaking to each other again."  She

Ipaused as if to catch her breath.  "Goodness, I'm sorry to

have gone on like that.  It's as if something in me just came

uncorked.  I guess I still have my own issues to deal with after

all."  

"Well, you sound like a very wise woman to me, Barbara.  

And I'm guessing your son was a lot like you."  
	Looking for You All My Life	97

"Thank you, that's very kind of you to say.  Now did I

hear you right?  Did you say that this young man, Michael,

is actually staying in Pine Mountain right now?"  

"Yes.  Strange as it sounds, he came here because of

Steven."  

"How very odd."  

I"Yes, it is rather unusual.  Michael said that Steven's

Idying wish was to return to Pine Mountain and share his

faith with his friends there.  Michael promised Steven to go

himself, and although it took him all these years just to save

up enough money to get here, he has finally come."  

"Oh my..."  

"But he's a very sweet and sincere young man.  And he's

already having quite an effect on our community.  I'm sure  

your Steven would be proud."  

"How fascinating."  

"Anyway, I wondered if I could ask a few questions about

your son to include in my story."  

Barbara readily agreed, and in just a few minutes they

were done.  " Thanks so much for your time," said Maggie as

she closed her notebook.  "It's been a real pleasure talking

with you."  

"You know, I was just thinking..."  she began slowly.  

Would there be any accommodations in town..  .if I decided

to come for a little visit?"  

"Why, yes, as a matter of fact, the Pine Mountain Hotel

has been completely refurbished-and beautifully done, I

might add.  I know for certain they're not full up right now,

but we've just gotten snow so that could change soon.  Are

you seriously considering coming for a visit?"  

"I think so.  I've always loved that little town.  It was my

husband's decision to leave.  There were so many memories

there, he just couldn't get over losing Steven.  In the end, it

was simply easier to move away."  

"I can understand that.  I lost my husband a few years

ago, and it wasn't until I left Los Angeles and came up here

that I actually began to get over losing him."  
	98	Melody Carlson

They chatted a while longer, then Maggie gave Barbara

the number of the hotel, encouraging her to make reserva-

tions right away.  She told her to call if she could be of any

more help and then hung up.  How utterly amazing!  Steven

Harris' mother might actually be coming back to visit Pine

Mountain.  Who knew, she might even get here in time to

meet Michael Abundi.  What a curious meeting that could be.  

She wondered what they might think of each other.  

She picked up the phone again.  She couldn't wait to tell

Jed this news!  But halfway through dialing, her hand

stopped and she hung up the receiver.  She suddenly remem-

bered last night's agreement to put their relationship on hold.  

She bit her lip and thought for a moment.  Did this mean she

must weigh every action, consider every word that was

directed toward him?  What was acceptable in a "normal"

friendship-type relationship between two people of the

opposite sex?  And how could this ever be a "normal" friend-

ship anyway?  Wasn't that just a lie?  Would a mere phone call

about this good news suggest that she was trying to get

things back to where they were?  Or was this whole thing just

suddenly making her extremely paranoid?  She wanted to be

patient and understanding, but why did life have to become

so complicated?  
nly two days after the first snow had fallen, and

before the ski resort ever received enough to open,

an unseasonably warm wind began to blow from  

the south and within twenty-four hours the streets were

rapidly running with melted snow.  The warm spell continued

to the end of the week, and Pine Mountain grew soggy and

damp, with shopkeepers and businesspeople growing more

worried and dismal than ever.  

"Guess we better get that island man to do some more

praying," said Dolly as she arranged two large bowls of veg-

etarian chili in front of Maggie and Scott, taking a moment

to refill their water glasses.  

"Well, you know Michael's from the tropics," said

Maggie as she stuck her spoon into the chili.  "I guess when

he prayed for snow, he just forgot to specify that tempera-

tures should remain cold."  

Dolly laughed and headed back to the kitchen.  

Scott glanced around.  "You better not tell my mom I ate

in here."  

Maggie laughed.  "Rosa knows I come in here about once

a week, and she thinks it's great.  She likes Dolly and Jinx-

and it's not like these guys are in any serious competition  

99  
	100	Melody Carlson

with your mom's deli.  The menu and atmosphere differ

greatly."  

"Yeah, I suppose you're right.  Mom doesn't usually get

truckers in the deli.  Also, I know for a fact Buckie won't step

foot in here."  

"Okay, let's not get distracted.  Remember, this is sup-

posed to be a business lunch."  She broke some crackers into

her chili.  

"By the way, Mag, good story about the wetland issues.  

I can't believe you haven't heard anything from our devel-

opment boys yet.  I thought for sure Greg Snider would send

in one of his nasty letters of protest."  

"Well, I did hear from Cherise just yesterday that he and

Rick are pretty furious about the whole thing."  

"And she's still speaking to you?"  

"Cherise and I are friends, and it's no secret around ?own

that she and Greg are having some problems right now

anyway.  I think she's enjoying watching him squirm a little."  

"Do you think they'll stay together?"  

"I think Greg's a fool to treat her the way he does.  I doubt

he'd ever do any better than Cherise and, despite everything,

I think she might still love him.  For both their sakes I really  

	 	hope they can work things out."  

	 	He nodded and took another bite of chili.  "It's nice to see

	 	you don't bear a grudge against Greg personally.  I don't

	*	know if I'd be that gracious."  

	 	"Sometimes it can be hard to separate your personal feel-

	 	ings when covering a story, but I got lots of practice at the

	 	Times.  The funny thing is, I've found it's even more chal-

	*	lenging here in Pine Mountain.  I think it's because it's a small

* town, and I find myself so involved with all the people, but

I'm still trying to keep a balance."  

"That's good.  Especially since people around here tend to

talk, if you know what I mean.  Best to keep a level head.  

Hey, speaking of that wetlands article, did you send a copy

to the Environmental Protection Agency or anyone else that

might be interested?"  
	Looking for You All My Life	101

She winked at him.  "I'm not supposed to know, but dear

Abigail took care of all those little details-and anony-

mously too."  She broke off a piece of bread.  "Now, tell me,

Scott, where exactly are you at on that Ebbert story-is next

week too early to expect anything?"  

He frowned.  "There's really not much to tell.  I went out

to his place, and it didn't look like much more than a small

working ranch.  Oh sure, he has a couple of compounds built

and a big flagpole next to the driveway, but I didn't see any-

thing unusual besides the rebel flag bumper sticker on the

back of his pickup.  No marching fanatics, no burning

crosses...  

"Hmm.  What about that flyer his son has been posting

around town this week?  What do you think that's all

about?"  

"Well, now that's something, isn't it?  I mean, you can tell

what he's getting at beneath all his rhetoric about patriotism

and whatnot, but his verbiage is a little toned down from his

usual hate mail, don't you think?"  

"Yes, definitely.  I wonder if he's not trying to recruit

others by trying to sound a little less controversial-all that

talk about preserving our country's moral integrity mixed in

with his usual antigovemment spiel might appeal to some of

our more conservative folks, especially if they're not aware

of any hidden agenda."  

"That's what I thought too, kind of like the old prover-

bial wolf in sheep's clothes.  But just the same, I doubt

anyone will take him seriously.  I mean, my dad's pretty con-

servative, but he'd never be taken in by someone like Randy

Ebbert."  

"I know Sam wouldn't..."  She glanced around the diner,

filled mostly with men she recognized but didn't actually

know by name.  To the casual observer, they were the types

who wore plaid, flannel shirts with frayed cuffs, some with

suspenders, some with down vests-most of them probably

drove four-wheel-drive pickup trucks.  Not all that much dif-

ferent than Clyde Barnes, just younger.  And probably more  
	102	Melody Carlson

open-minded than many outsiders would suspect.  Although,

how could anyone know for sure?  "I guess I just hope that

no one else reading those flyers falls for Ebbert's propa-

ganda.  It almost makes me wish I'd printed his original let-

ters in the paper-just so everyone would be aware of his

true colors.  But at least I had Abigail file them in case he ever

did anything questionable.  That way we could pull them for

a story, or maybe, although I hope it never comes to this,

even submit them as evidence."  

"Good thinking.  Maybe I'll study them and try to see if I

can figure him out a little better.  One thing I've learned about

this guy-he's not stupid.  I mean, other than believing in a

very ignorant philosophy."  

"Did you talk to him much when you went out there?"  

"I tried to.  At first he seemed somewhat suspicious, but I

tried to act pretty nonchalant.  I told him I felt bad we

couldn't print his letters and wanted to learn more about him

and his political views and such.  Then he warmed up a little

and started to talk-but kind of guarded, you know.  I was

surprised that he let me take some photos, but he stayed

right with me the whole time.  I don't think he wanted me

snooping around too much."  

"Hmm.  I know he has a couple sons-is there a wife?"  

"Actually, he has three sons-one high school age, and

the other two just a little older.  They all work on the ranch.  

And he has a wife and a younger daughter, but I didn't see

them.  Ebbert told me, quite proudly I might add, that none

of his kids have ever gone to public school, that his wife

homeschools them all because, as he put it, 'they don't want

the government filling their kids' heads with a bunch of lib-

eral garbage."'  

Maggie sighed.  "I wonder what he fills their heads with?"  

"Yeah," agreed Scott.  "Shouldn't that be considered

some sort of child abuse or something?  I can't believe it's

actually legal to keep American kids from going to a real

school and being around other kids."  
	Looking for You All My Life	103

"Well, the issue isn't really about homeschooling.  I

happen to know people who teach their children at home

and do a fantastic job of it.  But this thing with Ebbert is

something completely different."  

"He did say one thing that got my attention."  Scott low-

ered his voice.  "He's pretty ticked off that Michael Abundi

is still here.  That might even be what set him off on this new

crusade of his.  He said it's just a matter of time until the  

minorities (well, he didn't say it quite like that) would be

taking over this whole area-just like down in California.  

Then he looked at me as if I were a case in point."  Scott

laughed uneasily.  "At first I didn't know exactly what he

meant.  I know it sounds strange, but I sometimes forget that

my mom has Mexican roots.  She seems so American to me."  

Maggie shook her head.  "She is American, Scott.  The fact

is, we Americans are all just one big melting pot of many dif-

ferent cultures.  I just don't understand why people can't see

Ithat.  Anyone with half a brain can see that all this purebred

white Aryan business is nothing but a bunch of nonsense

conjured up by some narrow-minded bigots with too much

time on their hands."  

"Can I quoteyou directly on that?"  He teased, and then

grew more serious.  "Sorry, I haven't been able to shape this

into much of a story yet.  So what do I do now?  Any ideas?"  

Maggie could think of several ideas offhand; for instance,

investigating into Ebbert's past connections, checking out

any groups he belonged to, and so on, but she didn't offer

any suggestions.  It was important that Scott figure this out

for himself.  "What do you think?"  

He dropped his spoon into his now-empty bowl.  "I think

this chili is surprisingly tasty."  He grinned, and then absently

scratched his head.  "I suppose I should continue with my

research.  I found a number of hate groups on the Internet that

Ican quote from.  I just wish there was some way to infiltrate

into Ebbert's little world so I could get some real juicy tidbits.  

But I don't have a chance at being taken seriously by him,

being a 'half-breed wetback' as he so kindly put it."  
 

	104	Melody Carison

Maggie studied Scott's appearance.  Of all of Rosa's chil-

dren, he had the most of the Latino features.  He was dark

and strikingly handsome.  Why were people like Ebbert 50

threatened by such small and superficial differences?  "I'm

sure it'd be an eye-opener to get an inside look," she said,

"but I don't know that it would be wise."  

"Hey, I used to take drama," said Scott.  "Maybe I should

get a blond wig and dress up like a freckle-faced redneck."  

She laughed.  "Now that'd be funny.  But even so, I don't

recommend it, Scotty.  You never know about people like

Randy Ebbert."  She remembered how frightened she'd felt

when he'd abruptly reached into his jacket the other day in

the office.  "You never know-it could get dangerous.  And

I'm certain that Chloe wouldn't like the idea of you putting

yourself in that situation either."  

"Well, I'm not giving up yet," he declared.  "I'll keep on

with the research and figure out some way to get what I

need-just you wait and see."  

"I'm sure you'll come up with something, Scott."  She

placed money and a tip on the bill and stood.  "By the way,

I think you had an object lesson today."  

"Huh?  What's that?"  

She waited until they were outside to answer him.  "I

think you were just slightly prejudiced against Dolly's Diner

before you went in and tried it out for yourself."  

He nodded sheepishly.  "Point well taken."  

When she got back into her office there was a message

from Barbara Harris explaining that she planned to arrive in

Pine Mountain on Wednesday of next week, and would

Maggie please convey this information to Mr. Abundi and

perhaps arrange a dinner meeting for the following night.  

Maggie had already told Michael about her conversation

with Steven's mother but, not wanting to raise his hopes

unnecessarily, she had chosen not to mention the possible  
	Looking for You All My Life	105

visit.  Now she was eager to do so.  Instead of calling Jed to

convey this new information, she decided to leave a message

through Leah.  As much as she wanted to hear Jed's voice on

the phone, she knew it would be easier, and probably better

in the long run, to allow Leah to pass the happy news along.  

But first she called and made reservations for a table at the

hotel for the following Thursday.  

"I'm not sure how many," she told Cindy.  "Why don't we

say four just to be safe."  

Cindy laughed.  "It's not like it matters, Maggie.  Most of

the tables are empty every night anyway.  If the snow doesn't

come back, and soon mind you, we may cut down to serving

dinner only two or three nights a week."  

"I'm sorry, Cindy.  I know this is hard on everyone.  flow's

your chef taking all this?  Hopefully, he doesn't think it's any

sort of personal reflection on his culinary skills."  

"Fortunately he's still in the honeymoon stage with us

and Pine Mountain in general.  He says the slow pace is just

what he needs to recover from the years of stressed-out city

living.  Only I'm worried he'll get all better and want to zip

back to Seattle before we ever have a chance to really take

off here."  

Suddenly Maggie felt guilty for not having frequented the

hotel restaurant yet.  In truth, she'd been hoping that Jed

would ask her out and her first dinner there would be with

him.  But now because they were "putting their relationship

on hold" who knew when that dinner date might actually

happen~r if ever.  "Well, if it's any comfort, I think we'll be

coming for dinner on Saturday night.  I know Mom and Leah

have eaten there before, but Spencer and I have missed out

on the pleasure."  

"Great.  Shall I put you down for four then?"  She laughed

again.  "Not that you need a reservation, but it just makes me

feel better to see the actual names written into my book."  

Maggie smiled.  ''Yes, there will be four of us-and let's

say about six-thirty."  
	106	Melody Carlson

"Thanks, Maggie.  Wow, that's two sets of reservations

with one phone call.  I think that must be a record for me so

far."  

"Don't worry, it'll get better, Cindy.  Someday people will

be complaining that they can't even get a table at the Pine

Mountain Hotel."  

"Wouldn't that be something!"  

After Maggie hung up, she called Leah and told her all

about Barbara Harris' upcoming visit as well as the dinner

reservations.  "I thought Jed might like to see her again too,

and as Michael doesn't drive...  

"Great," said Leah.  "I'll tell them both this afternoon.  

But you said the reservation is for four.  Who is the fourth?"  

Maggie felt her face grow warm.  Actually, she'd wanted

to join them herself.  After all, she was the one who'd con-

nected with Barbara in the first place, and she'd sort of

assumed that Barbara's message about dinner reservations

was meant to include her as well.  But somehow she just

couldn't say this to Leah.  "Well, maybe you'd like to join

them too, Leah?"  

"Yeah.  It sounds like it would be interesting, Maggie.  

Thanks for letting me know.  I better go since there's a real,

live customer coming in here right now-that is, unless she's

just lost and looking for directions.  That happened yes-

terday.  Needless to say, it's been pretty slow..."  

Maggie hung up the phone and swiveled her chair around

to look out the window.  She tried to ignore the disappoint-

ment growing inside of her.  She told herself she would not

stoop so low as to be jealous of Leah.  "Just grow up, Mar-

garet LeAnn," she whispered sharply to herself.  Just then a

big black pickup pulled up and parked right in front of the

newspaper office.  A shiny magnetic sign proclaimed "TS

Development" in bold white letters.  As if anyone in town

could mistake those two imposing four-wheel-drive vehicles.  

She mentally braced herself as she watched Greg Snider walk

briskly up the walk and into their building; then, just as she

expected to hear Abigail's voice announcing his presence on  
	Looking for You All My Life	107

the intercom, her door burst wide open and Greg stormed

into her office waving this week's newspaper right in her

face.  

"What the heck do you think you're trying to do here?"  

he demanded hotly.  

She leaned back in her chair and studied him before

answering.  "Basically, I'm trying to run a newspaper, Mr.

Snider.  And in the future I'd prefer that you check at the

front desk before blasting into my office like this."  She spied

Abigail's sturdy brown shoes from behind the still partially

open door.  "It's okay, Abigail," she called out with reassur-

ance.  "I'll let you know whether I need you to call security

or not."  Then she forced a laugh at her own joke and looked

directly at Greg.  

His eyes narrowed, but he glanced over his shoulder as if

to see whether or not she was serious.  

"Would you care to sit down, Mr. Snider?  Or have you

said everything that you came to say?"  

He gave the paper another loud shake.  "I want to knoW

where you get off writing this kind of stuff?  Just who do you

think you are anyway?"  

"Who do you think you are, Greg Snider?"  She stood

now, her desk safely between them.  "First you act like you're

some flarning environmentalist who's totally against all

forms of growth and development, then you and Rick prac-

tically steal Arnold Westerly's farm, and now you want to

turn it into some sort of shoddy development for whatever

rich fools you can lure in here who'd be crazy enough to buy

into such a thing-"  

"And now I suppose you think you're going to stop us with

all of your overblown environmental concerns!"  He laughed

cynically.  "Well, let me set you straight.  Nobody in Byron

County gives a flying fig about your ridiculous wetland issues-

I already talked to the boys down at the county and they think  

what we're doing is just great, thank you very much!"  

"So, what exactly is your problem then?"  
	108	Melody Carlson

"My problem is a certain Miss-Know-It-All editor who

can't keep her nose Out of other people's business.  And I've

had more than enough of your biased press coverage on TS

Development."  

She forced a saccharine smile to her lips as she spoke to

him in what she knew was a patronizing tone.  "But, unfor-

tunately for you, we haven't had enough yet, Greg.  And our

readers still find this whole thing very fascinating.  It's just so

interesting how someone so opposed to development less

than six months ago is now in the process of trying to develop

the biggest chunk of property in Pine Mountain.  And it's so

interesting the way you guys swindled an old man-"  

"Yeah!"  he snapped.  "And look where that story got

you!  The old guy dropped deader than a doornail just as

soon as he read your stupid article.  Doesn't that tell you any-

thing, Maggie Carpenter?  How many other writers can

boast that their reporting actually kills people?  Maybe you

should have a warning label on the front of your paper.  

'Reading the Pine Cone could be hazardous to your health!'  

Or maybe I should get the sheriff in here and see if he can't

charge you for murder~r at the minimum, manslaughter."  

A wave of sadness washed over her as she remembered

the vivid image of poor Mr. Westerly slumped over his news-

paper.  She was instantly at a loss for any witty comeback or

sharp retaliation.  Why had she even lowered herself to

Greg's level in the first place?  To engage verbally with Greg

Snider was almost always a lose-lose situation.  She held her

chin up and looked him squarely in the eye, determined to

deny him the pleasure of witnessing the deep hurt he'd just

inflicted upon her.  

He tossed the newspaper to the floor, then leaned forward,

planting both palms on the edge of her desk.  "Why don't you

just do everyone in Pine Mountain a great big favor and move

on now.  I think we've all had enough of your kind of help."  

He spat out that word.  "Putting up your silly little lampposts

and park benches isn't going to save this town from financial

ruin.  We're ready for some real development, and it looks to  
	Looking for You AllMy Life	109

me as if you and this one-sided newspaper are the only obsta-

cles standing in our way at the moment."  

"You're right about one thing, Greg, this town does want

and need development.  And for your information, so do I.  

But I believe the majority of people want good development,

and not at the expense-"  

"You don't know this town as well as you think you do.  

You haven't been here long enough to understand our ways

or our history-you're the newcomer here and I, for one, am

pretty certain you've worn out your welcome!  And not that

you're even invited, but I happen to be having an important

meeting this weekend for those local businessmen who are

ready for growth and development in Pine Mountain-folks

who will stand behind me for the sake of our town.  But

maybe you should send Out a reporter-not that you guys

will ever get your stories straight-but because the people of

Pine Mountain have a right to know the truth!"  

She sank back into her chair as he stormed out of her

office.  Lambasted by his words, she felt unsure of anything

at the moment other than the fact that he might have missed

his calling!  The way he could confuse the issues and turn the

tables on his opponents, he really should've become a lawyer

or maybe even a politician.  Not that all lawyers and politi-

cians were like him, but Greg could've made some of the

worst of them look pretty decent.  

"Are you okay, honey?"  asked Abigail after the front

door slammed loudly.  

"Just peachy."  Maggie forced a smirkish smile to her

face.  

"Don't you worry about a single word he said," soothed

Abigail.  

"That's right," agreed Scott, also poking his head in the

doorway.  "I couldn't help but overhear his blustering, and

most of what he said was nothing but blatant lies."  

"And what wasn't an out-and-out lie was completely

twisted anyway," added Abigail.  

Maggie closed her eyes and exhaled slowly.  
	110	Melody Carlson

"Want me to cover that meeting for you?"  offered Scott.  

She briefly considered this tempting offer, and then sadly

shook her head.  "No, but thanks anyway.  You've got the

Ebbert story to work on, Scott.  Unfortunately, TS Develop-

ment is my baby."  

"And what a spoiled rotten baby it is!"  exclaimed Abi-

gail.  "I think all it needs is a good paddling!"  

This made them all laugh.  

Later that afternoon, Clyde stopped by her office.  "I

heard you had an irate visitor today.  How're you holding up,

old girl?"  

"Okay, I guess.  Got a minute, Clyde?"  

"Sure,I was about to ask you the same."  He sat down

across from her and leaned back in the chair.  "Now, don't

you go letting that Snider boy get to you none.  It's all just a

lot of hot air and bluster, you know."  

"I don't know that, Clyde.  I've been wondering...  

remember Buckie's pro-development comments at my house  

on Thanksgiving?"  

"Sure, but you've been doing the research about this devel-

oper, right?  And writing what you know to be the truth?"  

"That's right.  Although, I must admit I do find pleasure

in exposing the very worst of the things I've heard about

him-not that I've heard anything good."  

"Do you think you're being unfair in any way?"  

She thought for a moment, wanting to be completely

honest with herself and Clyde both.  "No.  I think I'm just

telling it like it is."  

He smiled.  "Well, that's all anyone expects."  He reached

into his pocket and pulled out a piece of neatly folded paper.  

"Just got this from Gavin."  

"Oh, really?  How is he?  Did he receive my letter apolo-

gizing about my accusation over his paternity identity with

Leah?"  

Clyde chuckled.  "Yes, and I think I was as much to blame

as you for that little misunderstanding.  But with Gavin's his-

tory, it was an easy mistake to make.  Anyway, he said to tell  
	Looking for You All My Life	111

you thanks for the letter, and that he'll tell you in person that

there are no hard feelings."  

"In person?"  

He nodded grimly.  "Yep.  Gavin wants to come back to

Pine Mountain."  

"And how do you feel about that?"  She studied his face.  

He shrugged.  "Don't rightly know yet.  Guess it depends

mostly on him.  I'll tell you this though, Maggie, I'm sure not

getting my hopes up for that boy."  

"But you'll give him a chance?"  

"A chance?  For what?"  

"To show you that he's changed."  

"What makes you so sure he has?  I've known him his

whole life.  He's never changed before."  

Suddenly she felt unsure about a lot of things.  She'd

always considered herself a fairly intuitive person, but lately

she was questioning her own intuitions on many levels.  It

was possible to make mistakes.  "I don't really know, Clyde,

and I suppose I could be wrong about him.  I guess I just want

to hope for the best."  

He frowned.  "Well, I agree that hope's a good thing-

most of the time.  I'm just not too sure about it when it comes

to Gavin."  

She smiled.  "But at least you're willing to talk to him,

right?"  

"He's my only flesh and blood, Maggie."  His voice grew

raspy.  "I guess I can't very well turn him away, now can I?"  

She shook her head.  "Especially if he's trying to make

amends with you."  

"So, I suppose I can at least give him the time of day."  

"Good for you, Clyde.  I don't think you'll be sorry."  

He grunted.  "I wouldn't be too sure of that."  
~a~~ie wished she could go incognito to Greg and

/K( ~~bc~aisy development meeting in the grade school  

on Saturday.  But because that would be  

fairly childish, not to mention slightly paranoid, she decided

instead to simply slip in just as the meeting was scheduled to

begin and then to sit inconspicuously in the back by the door.  

She felt a little concerned about who might be in attendance

and why they'd come; she certainly didn't want to give the

impression, by her presence there, that she supported TS

Development in any way, shape, or form.  And on top of

everything else, she knew it was imperative that she keep her

mouth shut-no futile debates with Greg Snider today!  So

she prayed for grace and wisdom as she walked across the

parking lot.  A surprising number of cars were parked

there-the majority she recognized as locals-and disap-

pointingly a number of them belonged to the same folks who

belonged to the Pine Mountain Business Association.  But

then, why shouldn't they be here?  It was probably an excel-

lent opportunity for them to hear firsthand what was going

n with TS Development.  

She glanced up at the sky as she walked toward the front

oor of the school.  Still perfectly clear-not a single cloud in

d  

113  
	114	Melody Carlson

sight!  And the temperature had to be close to sixty, which

was downright bal my for early December in this part of the

country.  Yet only days ago their hopes had been so elevated

by the snowfall.  The late opening of the ski season would

probably make worried businesspeople very open to Greg

and Rick's ideas of growth and development.  And who could

blame them?  The livelihoods of many hung in the balance

right now.  Perhaps opposing TS Development was becoming

a fool's errand.  As she walked down the quiet hallway

toward the library she wondered if this was how David

might have felt when going to face the mighty Goliath.  No,

she reminded herself calmly, this was not a battle.  She was

confronting no one.  Her only purpose today was to cover

this story, to collect the facts and then get out of there-and

quick!  

She sat next to the door, shielded from the front by others

who were already seated.  She had no desire to be observed

by either Greg or Rick, and she had no intention of creating

a scene of any sort.  She opened her little notebook and

hunched slightly over, her eyes focused on her notes as she

listened intently to Greg rambling on and on about what a

good thing this project would be for the entire community.  

-He could actually be quite compelling and charismatic when

he put his mind to it, and obviously this development was

important to him.  He had much to gain by its success.  She

wondered if Cherise was here today.  She'd barely seen her

this morning during her workout at the fitness center, but on

her way out she'd noticed that Cherise's eyes were red and

puffy.  Not a good sign.  

"And now," continued Greg as if finally coming to the L

main point, "I'd like to introduce you all to Mr. Cohn Byers,

our idea man and the visionary for designing this commu-

nity.  Meet the man who will partner with us as we continue

to develop Pine Mountain Estates."  The crowd applauded

politely but, to Maggie's pleasure, without much enthusiasm.  

That was the first time she'd heard mention of a name for

the development.  She jotted it down and glanced up to see if  
	LookingforyouAllMyLife	115

she could get a good look at this Cohn Byers person.  She'd

already researched and read enough about him and his

shoddy developments to feel as if she knew him personally.  

She imagined him to be a fast-talking, sixtyish, potbellied,

slightly balding man, probably wearing a light-colored suit

with shiny white shoes and a gold chain or two around his

thick neck.  But to her surprise, a rather attractive gentleman,

tall, tan, and blond, and probably only in his late forties,

stepped up to the podium and shook Greg's hand.  

"Greetings," he began in a friendly tone.  "What a beau-

tiful region you folks all live in.  I can see now why they call

this God's country."  He paused to look around the room at

all the faces, as if trying to recognize each one individually,

then he continued.  "However, I've heard that you've come

upon some hard times with your local economy and some of

you are struggling right now just to keep your businesses

afloat.  And for that very reason you should all be extremely

thankful for Greg and Rick here.  These guys have the kind

of foresight and vision to realize an opportunity that will

bring this town back on its feet.  They are presenting your

community with a fantastic opportunity to stabilize and

escalate your economy throughout the new millennium."  He

paused, like a showman, as if waiting for approval or

applause, but only a few people responded.  The majority

seemed reserved, or perhaps simply unsure, and a number of

them still appeared fairly skeptical.  Somehow their reaction

relieved Maggie considerably, and she leaned back into her

chair and relaxed a little, waiting to see how this smooth-

-talking developer from California planned to convince them

otherwise.  She hoped folks would remain dubious, remem-

bering Greg and Rick's questionable methods for attaining

the ir land.  The townspeople were smart.  Surely they couldn't

be persuaded by a charlatan, no matter how good-looking

e was!  

Cohn continued.  "Now, I understand that I've gotten

bad press up here."  He laughed lightly.  "Well, that's  

ot surprising because I've gotten some bad press down in

me  
	116	Melody Carlson

California too.  But I'd like the chance to explain a few

things.  I'm sure you all believe that a man should be allowed

to defend himself-after all, isn't a man still innocent until

proven guilty?  Anyway, it just so happens that land devel-

opment is a highly competitive business, especially where I

come from.  It's a real dog-eat-dog world down there.  And

there are those who will resort to anything to discredit a

man's reputation.  But I'm not a spiteful person, and most of

the time I don't fight back.  I allow the success of my devel-

opments to speak for itself.  Now, if you'll allow me-Rick

you will want to get that video going now-and Greg,

maybe you'd like to dim the lights.  We'll let the good folks

of Pine Mountain judge me for themselves.  

Maggie sat up straighter to see the big-screen TV set up

in the front.  The room grew quiet as they all watched a very

slick video, complete with soft classical music and some

well-written narrative, that proudly displayed all the so-

called amenities of a few of Cohn Byers' developments.  

There were long, lingering shots of crystal-clear pools, lush

green golf courses, lovely-looking homes with perfect land-

scaping, and interiors that were decorated to the hilt, and

throughout the video were lots of smiling, attractive people

-(probably actors).  It was all quite convincing, and for a

moment Maggie wondered if she might not have been all

wrong about him.  But then she wondered what it was that

he wasn't showing.  Having been a reporter, she knew that

what you read or saw was only part of the whole picture and

could sometimes be very misleading.  It was what wasn't said

that could make all the difference, and she wasn't convinced.  

The lights came back on and people quietly commented

among themselves.  It was obvious that many had been

impressed by Cohn Byers' tricks.  Next he invited their ques-

tions.  To her delight, many asked the very questions that she

had posed in her previous articles.  Queries were made about

the longevity of management plans, use of quality construc-

tion materials, legal labor practices, and whether local

workers might bid for contracts themselves.  Cohn Byers  
	Looking for You All My Life 117 -

smoothly and graciously fielded each and every question

without batting an eyelash, and in the end the crowd seemed

satisfied.  Either he had rehearsed all this before or he really

was on the up-and-up.  She doubted the latter, and for a

moment considered challenging him herself, but stuck to her

earlier resolve to keep her mouth closed.  This was neither the

time nor the place.  Just as Greg began to finish up, she qui-

etly closed her notebook and slipped Out the backdoor, then  

hurried to her car without talking to anyone.  The whole -

thing was rather unsettling.  This guy was incredibly smooth.  -~

Once again she questioned herself-what if her research had -

been flawed?  But then again, even if she was wrong about  

this out-of-state developer, she knew that what Greg and

Rick had done to Mr. Westerly was terribly unfair.  But then,

perhaps that was her main problem.  Perhaps she needed to -

step back and make sure she wasn't just reacting emotion-

ally to this whole thing based on her feelings for Arnold

Westerly.  She remembered the balance she had just recently

described to Scott...  how a good reporter must guard against

letting her opinions take over.  Just get the facts, she -

reminded herself.  Just report the truth.  Then let the people -

-decide for themselves.  She must always remember to limit

her opinions to the editorial page, otherwise she would com-

promise the entire paper.  And, as with all news stories, it was -

never purely black and white-good versus evil.  No, most

stories were layer upon layer of varying shades of gray.  Only

once in a blue moon did you uncover the truly wonderful L

tale of the valiant hero who rescued someone out of pure -

-chivalry. And even then, you often learned later that there

was more to the story...  

Maggie decided to take full advantage of the mild

eather by taking both dogs out for a walk in the woods.  

dashed energetically ahead, and then quickly returned

nose Lizzie as if to say, "Come on, old girl!"  He'd really  

wBtoart  
	118	Melody Carlson

taken to the older dog, and she seemed surprisingly com-

fortable with his companionship, although Maggie was sure

Bart's limitless energy tried Lizzie's patience from time to

time.  Especially lately, for between Spencer's broken foot

and Leah's long hours at the shop, the dogs hadn't had as

much walking as Bart had been used to in the past.  Maggie

enjoyed having an excuse for a walk today.  The ground was

still slightly moist from last week's melted snowfall, and the

trail was coated with a thick blanket of rusty-colored pine

needles, so that it was like walking on a soft, thick carpet.  

The sky was a dusky periwinkle blue, and the smell of clean  

-pine permeated the air with its freshness.  She breathed

deeply and wondered once again how she had ever managed

to live most of her life away from all this beauty.  But now

that she had found it, she felt certain Pine Mountain would

always remain home.  

When she returned to the house, Spencer was all dressed

and ready to go to dinner at the hotel.  He was waiting down-

stairs wearing a clean shirt and pants, and she hated to

-inform him that their reservations weren't until six-thirty.  

-But she was glad he was excited about going out.  That

broken foot had slowed him down some, and as a result he'd

seemed to lack some of his normal youthful enthusiasm.  But

just yesterday, Audrey had taken him in to get a walking cast

-put on his foot and now he was getting around quite well

compared to when he'd needed crutches.  This alone had

greatly improved his disposition.  Maggie hurried upstairs to

-clean up, and before too long they were all on their way to

dinner.  

''Cindy said it's been pretty slow here,'' she told the

others as they walked down the sidewalk toward the hotel's

entrance, "but I made a reservation for us anyway."  

"Yeah," said Leah.  "Last week when Jed and I came here,

there were only a couple of other tables filled.  I felt sorry for

Cindy.  I mean, she has fresh flower arrangements on every

table.  It seems such a waste."  
	Looking for YouAllMy Life	119

"That's too bad," said Audrey as they stepped inside the

lovely foyer.  "But, hey, it looks like they're busy tonight."  

Maggie glanced around in surprise.  Sure enough, the

restaurant was nearly full, and it looked as though even

Brian was helping to wait tables.  

"What's up?"  she asked Cindy after a short wait.  

"Isn't this great?  I think it's all due to that nice Cohn

Byers-he gave us some great free promotion at the end of

the meeting today.  He mentioned what a fine hotel this was

and how the food here was really first-rate."  Then she low-

ered her voice.  "He even said we're comparable to some of

the five-star restaurants he's eaten at."  

Maggie blinked.  "Wow.  That's high praise.  Well, good for

you guys."  

"Thanks.  Now, right this way to your table."  

As chance, or Cindy, would have it, their table was just

opposite where Cohn, Rick, Greg, and a couple of other men

were already seated.  Maggie pasted a smile on her face and

nodded politely in their direction.  Thankfully, Greg and Rick

said nothing, but she did notice Cohn smile and nod in

return.  

"Don't look now," she spoke quietly after they were all

seated.  "But that's the developer I told you about.  He's Sit-

ting right next to Greg just across the way."  

"I overheard what Cindy said about the little promotion

he gave them," said Audrey.  "For a skunk of a developer, he

seems like a rather nice man.',  

-"Unfortunately, he does come across extremely well.  I

even found myself questioning whether I'd researched him

correctly or not.  He is so smooth."  Maggie glanced quickly

at their table and uncomfortably realized they were looking

her way at just the same moment.  It felt as if they were telling

Cohn Byers who she was-unless she was just becoming

overly paranoid.  "Why don't we change the subject," she

said with a stiff smile.  

"I think I may have found a spot for the library," said

Audrey.  "I finally heard back on one of the vacant buildings  

L  
	120	Melody Carlson

that had been confiscated by the county for back taxes sev-

eral years ago. And after they heard the proposed use, they

were very interested.  We just might be able to strike a deal

that will make everyone happy."  

"That's great, Mom.  Where is it?"  

"It's that old building right behind Galloway's Deli, next

to City Hall."  

"Oh, yeah," said Spencer.  "The place with those ratty-

looking awnings.  Didn't it used to be a store or something?"  

"Yes, the lady at the county said it used to be a clothing

store.  But despite those horrible awnings it seems to be fairly

well built, and it's just the right size to house our little

library."  

-Though the talk swirled around her, much of the fun of

the evening-the excellent food and the company of those

she loved-was lost on Maggie as she continued to be aware

of the men just adjacent from them.  Each time she glanced

*at them, which she did only rarely and inconspicuously, it

seemed to her that Cohn was looking directly her way,

--smiling even.  Finally, just as they began to eat their desserts,

Maggie noticed the men walking over to their table, with

Greg in the lead.  Surely he wouldn't dare to make a scene in

herel  

"Excuse me," he said in a distinctly cool but formal

-voice, "I don't like to interrupt your meal, but my friend here

was very determined to make the acquaintance of the Pine

Cone's editor.  Maggie Carpenter, I'd like you to meet Cohn

Byers."  

Cohn extended a hand and Maggie stood and took it.  "I

heard you speak this afternoon, Mr. Byers."  

"Ah, spying on the enemy?"  But his words were warm

and he looked directly into her eyes.  "And so, may I ask,

-what did you think?"  

"I think it was very impressive.  But I'm confused because

it's all quite contrary to what I've discovered in my

research."  
	Looking for You All My Life	121

"And do you believe everything that you read, Ms. Car-

penter?"  

She blushed.  "You make a good point, Mr. Byers.  And

yet, when all your sources seem to say the same things, you

do begin to take them at their word."  

"They also say that seeing is believing.  Have you ever

considered visiting one of my developments in person?"  

"Unfortunately, your developments aren't handy to Pine

Mountain.  And our little newspaper just doesn't have the

budget for researching.  I tend to rely on the Internet and a

few other sources I consider to be reliable."  

He smiled.  "Then why don't you allow me to fly you

down to see one of my places for yourself?"  

She was somewhat taken aback by his friendliness and

personal manner.  Suddenly she grew very self-conscious, for

it seemed that the entire restaurant had grown quiet and it

felt as if every head had now turned their way.  "Well, I just

might consider that, Mr. Byers."  She quickly fumbled in her

purse and managed to produce a business card.  "If you're

really serious about your offer, why don't you give me a call

and we'll see what we can do?"  

He took her card.  "I'll do just that.  And forgive me for

interrupting your dinner.  It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms.

Carpenter," then he bent toward her and lowered his voice.  

"And by the way, you're nothing like the dragon lady these

fellows described to me."  Then he winked at her.  

She couldn't help but chuckle.  "Well, thank you very

much-I think."  

She sat back down and watched as the men exited the

dining room.  "Well, go figure," she said to the three sets of

eyes now focused tightly on her.  

"Wow, Maggie," said Leah, "you handled that really

well."  

"That Mr. Byers is one smooth number," commented

Audrey as she turned her attention to her berry cobbler.  

"I didn't like the look in his eyes," observed Spencer

dryly.  "This guy seems sort of slippery if you ask me."  
  
y Monday, the weather hadn't changed a single bit,

and the forecast was for a continuance of this unwel-  

1) come warm spell.  Only yesterday at church, a few

people had suggested they should get Michael Abundi to

pray for snow again.  Maggie felt relieved for Michael's sake

that Jed, wanting to make the most of this mild spell of

weather, had closed his shop for the whole day and driven

Michael and Leah over to see the Oregon coast.  Leah had

arrived home late last night with wonderful tales of all they'd

seen and done, even touring a completely renovated clipper

ship that had been docked near a seaport town for a few

days.  Maggie had listened with what she hoped appeared to

be delighted interest, but at the same time had silently chided

herself for the small ripples of envy that floated through her.  

How she wished she could experience a trip to the coast with

Jed too.  Maybe someday.  In the meantime, if the warm

weather continued, perhaps she should plan a similar trip

with Spencer and her mother.  

In the morning's mail she discovered an envelope,

addressed to her, from Gavin Barnes.  She opened itto find a  

ort but well-written letter of apology to the whole town,

a small note attached asking her if she would please  

w%h  

123  
	124	Melody Carlson

print this in the newspaper.  His letter to the town seemed sin-

cere and remorseful and she saw no reason not to print it,

but decided to run it past Clyde first.  She found him put-

tering around in the printing room.  "Hey there," she called.  

"Got a moment?"  

He set his push broom aside and dusted his hands on the

sides of his faded black work pants.  "Always got time for

you, Maggie girl.  What is it?"  

"I got a letter from Gavin today.  Actually, it's for the town.  

It's an open letter of apology for all that drug-trafficking busi-

ness.  As you can see, he doesn't take personal blame for the

actual drugs, only for opening the door-and for that he

seems truly sorry, don't you think?"  She handed him Gavin's

letter and waited for him to adjust his glasses and read.  

Finally he folded it and handed it back.  "It's up to you-

you're the editor."  He sniffed.  "Don't know as I'd believe

every word myself.  Don't know that a snake can change his

stripes that easily."  

She frowned.  "But you said you were going to give him a

chance."  

"It's one thing, me giving my own nephew a chance.  He's

my own flesh and blood, what else can I do?  But it's some-

thing else altogether in encouraging the whole town to take

the same kind of chance."  

"Well, like you said, I'm the editor.  And I happen to be

willing to take this chance with Gavin.  If he somehow blows

it, well, then printing his letter will be on my head-right?"  

Clyde grinned.  "Seems to me you've got a lot riding on

your head these days."  

She lifted her brows.  "Meaning?"  

"Meaning, I heard some good ol' boys yacking away at

the hardware store yesterday.  Seems everybody's real taken

with this California developer man.  And seems that some

folks think a certain newspaper editor's all wet in reporting

on him the way she did."  

She exhaled in loud exasperation, and then threw up her

hands.  "Well, what am I supposed to do, Clyde?  Just believe  
	Looking for You All My Life	125

everything this guy says and forget about everything else I've

heard and read that's contrary to that?"  

"Not as long as I'm around!  I want you to stick to his

trail like a hound on a coon.  Don't you be taken in with all

his fine, smooth talk."  

"He invited me to go down and see some of his develop-

ments."  

"You going to take him up on it?"  

"I don't know..  I'm certain I'd get a very carefully guided

tour, only showing me exactly what they want me to see, and

I'm sure everything will be impeccably perfect-just like that

slick video he showed on Saturday."  

Clyde smiled slyly.  "But now, you're smarter than them,

Maggie.  You could easily do a little snooping around on

your own, ask some questions, take some photos.  Isn't that

what they call investigative reporting?"  

"I suppose so..."  The idea of sleuthing around one of

Cohn Byers' developments did sound intriguing in a Nancy

Drew sort of way.  "Who knows, maybe I'd find out I'd been

all wrong about him all along-but then at least I'd know

for sure myself."  

Clyde shoved his hands in his pockets and scowled.  

"Well, for Arnold Westerly's sake there's nothing I'd rather

see than that whole darn TS Development business shut

down once and for all!"  

"But what if this guy's legit?  What if we can't stop the

development?  What then?"  

He made a growling sound.  "It just gets my goat to see

the likes of Snider and Tanner profiting by taking advantage

of old Arnold."  

"I know," she said soothingly.  "But we might have to

consider the bigger picture here.  What if this developer can

really bring growth and progress to Pine Mountain?  That

wouldn't be so bad, now would it?"  

He eyed her with suspicion.  "It sounds almost as if you're

consorting with the enemy."  
	126	Melody Carlson

She shook her head.  "Not at all.  I'm just trying to be

open-minded and fair.  The honest truth is I'd love to see that

whole development fall flat on its face too.  But a lot of that

is based on my own personal feelings, not what would be

best for this town.  And I do care about this town, Clyde.  I

don't want to see one single business lost."  

"I know, I know...but we aren't doing so bad, are we?  

Why, just look at all the great progress that has taken place

in the last year-and most of it was due to you-"  

She shook her finger under his nose.  "Don't you forget,

Clyde Barnes, it took the whole town to accomplish those

things.  And unfortunately, despite the improvements, this

town is still painfully dependent on something as undepend-

able as the weather.  You know as well as anyone that these

aren't the old timber days where weather had little effect on

the local economy.  Right now, we need tourism to survive-

and lack of snow for just one winter could shut this place

down completely."  

"Maybe we should get your Michael friend to pray

again."  Clyde looked at her from the corner of his eye and

then grinned.  

"Or maybe we should try to be a little more open-minded

to this new development."  

Clyde groaned.  "I can't believe you're giving up, Maggie.  

I thought you were such a fighter."  

"I'm not giving up.  I'll keep investigating the whole thing.  

I just need to find out if this Byers fellow is really who he says

he is or not.  And if it turns out that he's really on the up-and-

up, we'll be open to this whole thing, right?"  

"And if he's not, will we slap his sorry story all across the

front page?"  

She couldn't help laughing.  "You bet we will!"  

Barbara Harris arrived in Pine Mountain a day earlier

than she had planned, and Maggie met her at the hotel for  
	Looking for You All My Life	127

tea the following afternoon.  Barbara was a fragile and

refined-looking woman, and though probably only a little

older than Audrey, in some ways she seemed to come from

a generation long past.  With her perfectly coifed snow-white

hair, soft powdery face, and pastel blue woolen dress com-

plete with a single strand of pearls, she reminded Maggie of

someone from the Victorian era, especially by the way she

held her teacup so daintily with her little finger gracefully

pointing down.  

"I'm still so amazed to be back here in Pine Mountain,"

she said as she set the fine porcelain teacup carefully back

into its saucer.  "Everything looks so wonderful.  Much nicer

than when we left.  In fact, much better than I ever remember

it being.  This hotel has never been this lovely before."  

"How long did you live here?"  

"I came as a young bride just after the war.  My husband's

family ran several businesses in the area.  I was originally

from the East-I met Steven Sr. while volunteering at a dance

for servicemen soon to be shipped off to fight in Europe.  I

was only seventeen at the time, but totally smitten by this

handsome young man in uniform.  I gave him my address and

we wrote regularly throughout the war.  I guess we fell in love

long distance.  And during that time I promised that if he sur-

vived the war I'd marry him."  Her eyes grew misty.  

"And so you did."  Maggie smiled.  "Then you came

here?"  

"Not at first.  We stayed with my parents for a while.  But

Steven missed his home and family-he'd been through so

much during the war-I thought the least I could do was to

come out here.  I didn't realize at the time that we'd settle

here permanently.  I must admit that I hated it at first, but

over time I grew to love the mountains and the fresh smell

of pine trees.  After many years of waiting, our little Stevie

was born here; then life was complete for me.  Oh, it was a

quiet Sort of life, to be sure, but I had a few good friends and

belonged to a bridge club.  A couple of my old friends still  

L live here, and I plan to try to see them during my stay."  
	128	Melody Carlson

They visited for about an hour, but Maggie could see that

Barbara was still worn out from her trip.  "I think I'll let you

get some rest," she said.  "I know you're probably still on

East Coast time, and the traveling must've been exhausting."  

"Yes, it's funny I do feel very tired, but I also feel rather

invigorated at the same time.  I must admit I was a little wor-

ried about adjusting to the higher elevation.  They say it can

be more difficult as we grow older, but I'm already feeling

adapted to it."  She smiled warmly.  "I'm just so very glad that

Icame."  

Maggie gave Barbara her home phone number and told

her to call if she needed anything at all, and then she told her

about tomorrow night's arrangements to have dinner with

Jed, Michael, and Leah, taking a moment to explain about

Jed's daughter.  Barbara inquired about whether Maggie

might also join them, but Maggie gracefully declined, saying

that she had previous plans.  For some reason, she wished she

could better explain to this thoughtful woman who had

known and liked Jed since his boyhood days that she and Jed

did indeed share a deep and promising relationship, which

for the time being was put on hold.  Sometimes it all seemed

so unfair!  

"I'm so looking forward to meeting Michael, and I can't

wait to see dear Jed again.  I do thank you for all your help,

Maggie.  I certainly hope I'll get to see more of you too while

I'm here in Pine Mountain."  

"Well, if you have the time I'd love to have you out to my

house-it's the old Barnes place.  I'd like you to meet my

mother and son."  

"It would be my pleasure.  I used to be fairly good friends

with Betty Barnes-well, at least we played bridge together.  

But she and her son moved away some time before we did."  

"Then you remember Gavin?"  

"Ah, yes, Gavin.  A handsome boy, but full of the devil.  I

think his mother spoiled him a bit too much.  It was a good

reminder to me though-when you only have one son it's

easy to spoil him."  
	Looking for You All My Life	129

Maggie thought of her own son and laughed.  "I know

exactly what you mean.  Anyway, I'll have to fill you in on

Gavin later.  For now you need to get some rest.  I know you'll

be comfortable here.  Cindy and Brian are great hosts."  

In Wednesday's paper, Maggie had run the story covering

the Pine Mountain Estates meeting on the front page.  

Nothing sensational, nothing inflammatory, just what had

transpired in Saturday's meeting.  But in her own column on

the editorial page she raised questions about whether their

town was willing to wear blinders regarding the dubious

way TS Development had acquired its property in order to

"ensure growth and development for the entire town."  She

didn't want to incite anyone, but rather hoped to raise their

consciousness level.  She further expressed her concern about

the spirit of Pine Mountain-how she didn't want to see it

compromised or watch it in essence sell its soul just to attain

what it assumed would bring financial security.  Obviously,

she knew Greg and Rick wouldn't appreciate her views.  

When had they ever?  But it was the editorial page, and as

editor she was entitled to strong, well-founded opinions.  If

anyone cared to respond, honestly and in writing, she'd be

more than pleased to express their views as well.  She also ran

Gavin's letter of apology with a footnote of her own saying

she felt everyone deserved a second chance from time to  

- - time.  Risky, she knew, but she also felt she owed him one for

accusing him of fathering and then abandoning Leah.  Maybe

they were even now.  

Just as she was getting ready to go home, Abigail told her

that a Mr. Byers was holding on the line for her.  

"You're probably just about to head for home," he said

apologetically, "but I thought I'd try to catch you first-that

is, if you can spare a moment out of your busy schedule."  

She laughed.  "The Pine Cone isn't exactly what you'd call

busy.  It's steady, but nothing like the hectic demands of  
	130	Melody Carlson

working for a big-city paper.  What can I do for you, Mr.

Byers?"  

"Well, I was wondering if you'd had a chance to think

over my offer to see some of my developments for yourself."  

"Actually, I'd been thinking that if you were still inter-

ested, I just might take you up on it."  

"Great.  And in that case, I wonder if you'd be willing to

meet with me to discuss this further, maybe nail down a date

and some other details."  The phone connection grew

scratchy.  "As you probably guessed, I'm on my cell phone

right now, and I'm afraid it's almost out of juice."  

"Oh, I didn't realize you were still in town."  

"Yes, I've been doing a little planning and research out

here at the property site.  But I plan to fly home tomorrow

morning.  Do you think it would be possible to meet with me

before then?"  

"Sure.  Would you like to come by the office right now?"  

"No, I'm a muddy mess from traipsing around these

fields, but it sure is beautiful out here.  How about if we meet

for dinner at the hotel, say around seven.  Would that work

for you?"  

She considered this for a moment and could see no reason

to decline.  "Sure, that sounds just fine.  I'll see you then."  

Maggie dressed with care before dinner.  Not for Cohn

Byers, although she did want to look professional, but for

Jed because she knew he'd be at the hotel for his dinner with

Barbara Harris.  Maybe it was silly or even somewhat imma-

ture on her part, but she wanted Jed to see her and perhaps

think about what he was missing Out on by setting their rela-

tionship aside.  Not that she had any intention of pushing

Leah out of the picture.  Not at all.  But all this being put on

the back burner was taking its toll on her self-image.  Besides,

it wasn't very often she had the opportunity to dress up in

their rural mountain town.  She finally decided on a black  
	Looking for You All My Life	131

wool designer suit that she hadn't worn since last winter in

L.A.  It was a fine wool, the heaviest weight you could get

away with in a warmer climate, but cut to perfection.  

Beneath this she donned a cranberry-red silk blouse with a

strand of black pearls that had been her grandmother's.  She

started to pull her hair back in the usual barrette, and then

changed her mind and let it fall loose upon her shoulders.  

She added matching pearl earrings and a touch of cranberry-

red lipstick.  She had to admit that the overall effect was very

classy.  

"Wow, don't you look great," commented Audrey as

Maggie stopped by the kitchen to tell her and Spencer

goodbye.  

Spencer's eyes grew wide.  "Mom," he said as only a

teenager can.  "I thought this was just a business dinner with

that slimeball developer.  Why'd you get all fixed up for

him?"  

Maggie laughed.  "It is a business dinner, Spence.  And

sometimes it's worthwhile to look just as sharp as you can-

it builds up your confidence level and gives you the upper

hand."  She winked at her son.  

He nodded wisely.  "Okay, I think I get it.  Well then, give

him what for!"  

She squeezed his arm.  "You sound just like Clyde!"  

"And don't you be out too late, young lady," chided

Audrey with a twinkle in her eye.  "It is a school night, after

all!"  

L  
_he hotel restaurant wasn't as busy as it had been last

Saturday night, but at least there appeared to be

several tables filled. Maggie glanced around to see if  

Cohn Byers was already seated while at the same time care-

fully searching for Jed's party.  

"Good evening," came a male voice from behind.  She

turned to see Cohn approaching, wearing a brown tweed

sports jacket over a fine-gauge sweater, probably cashmere.  

He smiled and shook her hand.  "Thank you for meeting me

on such short notice, Ms. Carpenter.  Cindy reserved a spot

for us right over there."  He gently took her elbow and

guided her to a table next to the big fireplace.  "Will this be

too warm for you?"  he asked as he politely pulled out a chair

forher.  

"Not at all.  It's perfect."  She sat down and looked up,

and just a couple tables away she spotted Barbara Harris

with Jed seated to her right.  He was staring directly at

Maggie with what seemed to be a confused expression.  She

smiled pleasantly and waved his way to signal that all was

well and not to worry.  Barbara waved back then turned to

make a comment to Jed, smiling and nodding at Maggie as

she did so.  Maggie suspected the older woman was speaking  

133  
	134	Melody Carlson

of her, but felt no concern as she turned her attention back

to Cohn Byers.  

"This is such a small town," she said apologetically.  "It's

impossible to go anywhere without seeing people you know,

so you just learn to expect it.  But I do think that's part of its

charm too."  

"Pine Mountain is certainly charming," he agreed.  "I'm

surprised it's gone so long without much development-until

now that is."  

Cindy approached their table, and Maggie could tell by

her eyes that she was full of questions, but she simply smiled

and asked if they'd like to order drinks and then recited the

specials of the day to them.  Maggie knew she'd have to tell

Cindy the details about this later.  She didn't want to give

anyone in town the wrong impression.  Hopefully, they

wouldn't see this as an endorsement of the development, but

as a sincere effort on her part to be truly nonpartisan.  

Cohn was excellent at making small talk and, without

really saying much, managed to keep the conversation

flowing smoothly until the waitress came to take their

orders.  Then he moved on to business matters.  "I figured you

might like to come down to see a development as soon as

possible," he began.  "There's a community in Nevada called

Desert Winds that has its own airstrip, and it isn't a very long

flight from here.  That might be a good place for you to

start."  

"That sounds fine.  But first, Mr. Byers-"  

"Please, call me Cohn."  He smiled.  "That Mr. Byers stuff

always makes me feel old.  I think it could send me straight

into a midlife crisis."  

She glanced quickly at his left hand.  No ring.  But that

didn't always mean anything.  When she looked up she knew

that he'd caught her peeking and hoped he didn't assume it

was because she was interested in something beyond a busi-

ness relationship, which she certainly was not!  So with a

journalist's curiosity she asked, "You must travel a lot.  Do

-you have a family?"  
	Looking for You All My Life	135

"I'm divorced, going on ten years now.  Both kids are

grown.  One in college, he graduates this year.  And one who's

about to make me a grandfather."  He laughed.  "I think it's

Heather's way of getting revenge at me for me leaving her

mother.  Although I've never heard her mother complain

much, because California law stipulated that I leave her with

half of all my assets.  Not such a bad deal for her."  Surpris-

ingly, he said all this without the slightest perceivable trace

of bitterness.  "And what's your story, Ms. Carpenter?"  

"Well, if I'm to call you by your first name, you had better

do the same.  My husband died several years ago.  I have a fif-

teen-year-old son.  Then my mother lives with me, and

another young woman we ve sort of adopted."  She glanced

over at Leah, who looked very grown up as she visited with

the other three adults.  "And we have two dogs, also

adopted."  

''Sounds like a nice little extended family.  Lucky for you.  

It's not that much fun being alone."  He took a sip of water.  

"What I was about to say, Mr.-I mean, Cohn, is that

before we get this trip all settled I'd like to lay my cards on

the table for you.  I want you to understand fully where I'm

coming from-"  

"You mean, like how you plan to really scrutinize the

quality of my developments?  That you intend on uncovering

and exposing anything that looks even slightly suspicious or

questionable?  That you'll grill my employees and look under

the rugs?  Things like that?"  

She nodded, suppressing a grin.  "Yes, as a matter of fact,

that pretty well sums it up.''  

"Good.  That's exactly what I hoped you'd do.  And when

it's all said and done, I also hope that you'll write an honest

appraisal of my work, and perhaps I'll get some good press

for a pleasant change."  

She was baffled.  Either this guy was good-or he was

really good.  He almost had her believing him, and nearly to

the point where she might consider simply saying, "Oh, let's  

forget about this whole trip, you've got me convinced."  

just  
	136	Melody Carlson

But then she remembered Clyde's warnings.  She couldn't be

that gullible.  "Great," she said.  "Then it looks like we under-

stand each other."  

"Fantastic-"  

"Excuse me," said Cindy.  "Mr. Byers, you have a phone

call.  The man sounded like it was urgent.  Do you want to

take it at the front desk?"  

"Sure."  He turned to Maggie as he casually stood.  "I'm

sorry about this.  You know how it is when you're out of

town for a few days; everyone suddenly thinks they need to

talk to you.  I'll try to keep it short."  

With Cohn gone, Maggie glanced over again to Jed's

table.  This time when he looked her way their eyes locked

for a long moment.  She felt her heart begin to beat faster as

she looked straight into his dark eyes.  They seemed laced

with what she feared might be sadness, and she longed to run

over and explain to him that this was absolutely nothing

more than a business meeting, and that she had only dressed

up to catch his eye!  She couldn't bear to hurt him, not even

slightly.  And yet, at the same time, it seemed silly to make

too much of this.  Perhaps she was only imagining she saw

any hurt in his eyes in the first place.  Uncomfortable with her

confusing feelings, she smiled once more at him and then

forced herself to look away, focusing her eyes instead upon

the fireplace.  To distract herself, she watched the graceful

motion of flames.  Unlike her childhood memories of the big

log fires that were lit in here on a cool summer night, this

river rock fireplace was now fueled by natural gas.  Still, the

cement logs and orange flames looked amazingly realistic

and although it wasn't quite the same as the snapping of

pitchy wood, it was warm and friendly.  She glanced furtively

back at Jed, who was now immersed in conversation with

the other three.  She sighed and hoped they were all enjoying

their time together.  She wished she could see Michael's face

but his back was toward her.  She knew she'd soon hear what

Michael thought of Barbara Harris.  Judging by Barbara's  
	Looking for You All My Life	137

face, she was impressed with Michael.  That was a huge

relie  

"Sorry about that," said Cohn as he slipped back into his

chair just in time for the waitress to serve their entrees.  

"Business?"  

"Yes.  A problem that couldn't wait until I got back."  He

looked down at the plate before him and picked up his fork.  

"Once again, this looks absolutely delicious.  The chef here

is really first-rate, you know.  I sneaked into the kitchen and

tried to entice him into going home with me and working in

one of my restaurants, but he wouldn't hear of it, and then

Cindy very nicely but firmly escorted me Out of the kitchen."  

They chatted as they ate.  Dinner was very pleasant, very

congenial.  Maggie had to remind herself from time to time

that Cohn, according to Clyde, was still the enemy.  But to

her surprise she almost found herself hoping that she'd been

completely wrong about him.  Really, wouldn't life be much

simpler if she could just step away from this battle with TS

Development?  After all, wasn't this exactly what the town

wanted and needed?  Maybe it was time to let bygones be

bygones, after all.  Besides, they had other, more serious,

issues to pursue anyway.  Things like Randy Ebbert and his

hateful, racist views.  Even today he'd circulated a new flyer

suggesting that the town needed a conservative newspaper

to balance the liberal views of the Pine Cone!  That had made

her laugh out loud.  As if she'd ever been considered a "lib-

eral" in any other circle!  Why, her old editor at the Times

had often laid into her for what he called her overly "con-

servative" views.  Politics were funny.  

Just after Maggie and Cohn were served their dessert, Jed

and his party began rising to leave.  Barbara walked directly

over to Maggie's table and laid a gentle hand on her

shoulder.  "So nice to see you again, my dear.''  

Maggie introduced Cohn to her friends, briefly explain-

g to him that it was an unusual reunion of sorts.  Cohn  

L litely rose and acknowledged the two women with a  
 

	138	Melody Carlson

	 	friendly greeting, then took a moment to shake hands with

	 	both men.

	 	"I understand now why you couldn't join us tonight,"

	 	said Barbara in a knowing voice as she gave Maggie a nod

	 	that suggested she suspected the two of them to be here on

	 	something of a romantic date.  "But we've had such a lovely

	 	time.  And dear Leah has invited us all to dinner at your

	 	house this weekend.  I do hope that's all right with you."  

	 	"Of course it is."  She smiled at Leah.  "Good thiriking,

	 	Leah."  

	 	"Now, we won't keep you two from enjoying your won-

	 	derful desserts," said Barbara with a twinkle in her eye.  "The

	 	food here is simply outstanding."  

	 	Maggie glanced up at Jed uneasily.  But he only nodded

	 	and said a brisk goodnight.  Suddenly she wished she hadn't

	 	gone to such trouble to dress up.  This wasn't at all how she'd

	 	wanted this to go.  But hopefully, she could explain every-

	 	thing to Jed this weekend-and bless Leah for inviting them

	 	all for dinner!  

	 	By the end of their meal, it was decided that Maggie

	 	would visit one of Cohn's developments the first of next

	 	week.  He would send out his private plane to pick her up.  His

	4	goal was that she might gather her information in time to

	 	reveal her findings in next week's edition of the Pine Cone.  

	 	He didn't try to conceal the fact that he wanted to change his

	 	tarnished image in town, but he wasn't pushy or offensive

	 	about it either.  No doubt about it, Cohn Byers was a charmer

	 	of the first degree.  Despite herself, she liked him.  

Maggie arrived home shortly after Leah, and Audrey

already had a pot of fresh tea waiting in the library.  "Come

Sit with us, Maggie," she called.  "Leah was just about to tell

me about her dinner."  

"Mrs. Harris is really nice," began Leah.  "She and Michael

hit it off just great.  He told her lots of things she didn't know

about her son, and that seemed to mean a lot to her.  And  
	Looking for You All My Life	139

Michael was totally relieved to find out that she'd never been

angry about Steven's choice to become a missionary.  I think

she was just sad to have him go away so far from home."  

"Not to mention that he never came back," said Maggie.  

"I can understand her feelings.  I know how much I'd hate to

see Spence go off to the ends of the earth like that.  But just

the same, I'd have to support him in whatever his choices

might be.  By the way, where is he?"  

"I think he's doing his homework," said Audrey.  "And

now, tell us about your dinner, Maggie."  

"It was all right.  Cohn is actually quite nice.  

"I'll say," said Leah.  "You should have seen the way he

was looking at Maggie all gaw-gaw eyed-"  

"It wasn't like that at all," she countered quickly.  "He's

just one of those really smooth guys who knows how to treat

a lady.  And, of course, he's trying to get on my good side for

the sake of good publicity at the paper."  

"Well, Mrs. Harris was certain that he was your 'beau'-

I that's how she put it."  Leah giggled.  

"Oh, good grief!"  exclaimed Maggie in horror.  "Well, I

hope you set her straight, Leah."  

"Well, I didn't know for sure what was going on myself,"

said Leah defensively.  "It wasn't until I got home just now

and asked Audrey what was up that I even knew what was

go ing on.  And to tell you the truth, I thought maybe you two

were on a date.  I mean, stranger things have been known to

happen."  Was it just her imagination, or did Leah appear to

be somewhat smug?  

Maggie groaned again.  "And I suppose that's what Jed

thought too?"  

Leah shrugged.  "I don't know what he thought.  He didn't

really seem to care.  At least he didn't say anything about it.  

But Barbara kept making comments about what a hand-

some-looking couple you two make, and how she under-

stood now why you weren't able to join us for dinner

tonight.  By the way, Barbara thinks you're just the greatest,

Maggie."  Leah smiled brightly.  
	140	Melody Carlson

"That's nice," said Maggie, her voice void of expression.  

"She seems like a sweet person."  Then she turned to her

mother.  "Leah invited them all for dinner this weekend, so

you'll get to meet her.  I think she's a little older than you, but

I'm sure you're going to like her."  

Before going to bed, Maggie considered calling Jed just to

make sure he understood that her dinner with Cohn Byers

was nothing more than strictly business.  It made her sad to

think that he might be feeling hurt about any of this.  And yet,

she felt uncomfortable calling him-probably stemming from

an old-fashioned notion that women shouldn't call men.  Just

the same, she couldn't make herself pick up the phone.  She

stared at the phone by her bed for a long moment, willing him

to call her but, of course, it never rang.  In frustration, she

decided to write a much-overdo email to her friend Rebecca.  

	DearRebecca:

	 	Sorry it's been so long.  Fortunately, I know we both

	 	lead very busy lives, so I doubt you've been pining

	 	away waiting to hear from me.  So much is going on

	 	here, I hardly know where to begin.  When you come

	4	for Christmas we'll have time to really sit down and

	 	catch up.  I can't wait to see you By the way little

	 	brother Barry is coming too.  Still single and more hand-

	 	some than ever.  I was telling Mom that the age differ-

	 	ence between you and him no longer seems like much

	 	of an issue to me-not that I'm playing matchmaker.  

	 	Actually if I was playing matchmaker, I might introduce

	 	you to the man I had dinner with tonight (strictly busi-

	 	ness, mind you-my heart still belongs to Jedi).  But

	 	anyway this guy who is supposed to be my ~nemy'

	 	(long story...).  turns out to be incredibly decent-only

	 	my first impressions, of course.  He is a little older than

	 	us, I think, and divorced, and there may be good rea-

	 	sons for that...  but I found him surprisingly good

	 	company-pleasant, thoughtful, and polite.  He's the
	Looking for You All My Life	141

money man" behind a controversial development

going in up here (part of that long story).  Anyway I'm

going to go check out some of his developments to

see if he's really for real or not.  You may have heard his

name befor~Colin Byers.  Know anything about him?  

The fly in the ointment is that Jed saw me with him

tonight, and I'm sure he didn't understand.  It doesn't

help that we've "put our relationship on hold" for

Leah's sake.  (Jed's decision.)  By the way do you ever

call men?  Just wondering.  

Love you.  

mc  

Just as she hit the "send" button, an idea occurred to her.  

Jed had an email address.  She had seen it on his business

card.  She wondered how regularly he checked it.  Somehow

the idea of communicating via email wasn't as intimidating

as calling him on the phone.  And who knew, perhaps this

was a way they could remain in contact without drawing

Leah's attention to themselves.  Anyway, she figured it was

worth a try.  She only hoped that Leah didn't access his email

at work.  Perhaps she could keep the content somewhat

generic in this message and simply see what happened.  

Hijed,  

I was just online and remembered that you get email,

and I thought perhaps you might enjoy getting a mes-

sage.  Although, I'm not sure how regularly you check

your in-box..  As you saw, I had dinner with "the

-enemy" tonight.  My purpose was to attain more infor-

mation about the development and to try to maintain

an objective viewpoint about this whole controversy

But when I saw you, I wished we could talk.  I miss our

talks, Jed.  I thought maybe we could "talk" through

email.  Or would that be taking our relationship "off

hold" so to speak?  Ijust figured this might be a private

way to sort of hold things together during the interim.  

Let me know what you think.  

Maggie  
J n Friday afternoon, Cohn Byers' personal assistant

called Abigail and then followed up with a fax of

Maggie's proposed flight schedule and itinerary.  

"Are you sure you want to do this?"  asked Abigail as she

handed the paper to Maggie.  "Seems to me you'll be hop-

ping right out of the frying pan and into the fire-or maybe

it 5 the dragon's lair.  I'm not too sure about my metaphors,

but just the same, I don't think it's a good idea for you to go

down there."  

Maggie laughed.  "You haven't met him, have you, Abi-

gail?  He actually seems like quite a nice person, and he has

almost everyone in town convinced that he's okay.  And who

knows, maybe he is telling the truth about how his competi-

tors have slandered his name in order to get a leg up in the

development business."  

Abigail frowned.  "Well, if he's anything like the company

he keeps-like Snider and Tanner, I mean-then I wouldn't

trust him no matter how nice he seemed.  And I don't think

you should either."  

"Believe me, I understand your sentiments.  But this is a

good opportunity to find out if this guy's on the level or not.  

I plan to really snoop around and ask lots of questions.  If  

143  
	144	Melody Carlson

there's anything disturbing, I'll be the first one to blow the

whistle on him.  But Pine Mountain Estates may be coming

whether we like it or not.  I feel I owe it to our readers to find

out the truth about Cohn Byers and the quality of his devel-

opments, and to do that I need to see his work with my own

eyes."  

Abigail nodded solemnly.  "I suppose you're right.  Just

you be careful.  Are you all packed up and ready to go?"  

"Well, there's plenty of time for that."  Maggie glanced at

the itinerary.  "Wait-it says here that I'm to fly out

-tomorrow morning and return on Monday!"  

Abigail nodded.  "His secretary called and said that early

next week doesn't work for him.  She was very apologetic, but

she explained that he thinks it's so important for you to come

that he cleared his weekend in order to tour you around him-

self.  She said they hoped you wouldn't mind giving up a

weekend and that they promised to show you a good time.''  

Maggie groaned.  "Well, I guess I don't have much of a

choice, do I?  Maybe it's best just to get this over with

anyway.  I think I'll head home early and try to get some

things in order before I have to leave."  

As she drove home, she realized that by leaving

tomorrow she'd miss the dinner with Barbara, Michael, and

Jed.  Perhaps she could get Leah and Audrey to postpone it

until she returned on Monday.  She knew Barbara planned to

stay at least another week.  

Spencer and Leah went to the high school basketball

game after dinner.  Leah had kindly offered to chauffeur "the

two handicapped kids" as she teasingly called Spencer and

Daniel.  But at the same time, she seemed to be aware of how

badly Spence had wanted to play basketball on the freshman

team this year; and because of that Maggie suspected Leah

was being more helpful and empathetic to him of late.  For

tunately it was only a week or so until his cast came off

while Daniel would probably wear one until after Christmas.  

Maggie would never admit it to anyone, but she was just

slightly relieved that their injuries had slowed these boys  
	Looking for You All My Life	145

down some.  Spencer; although only fifteen, seemed to be too

independent and was growing up too fast these days.  

After cleaning up the dinner dishes, Audrey and Maggie

settled in front of the fireplace in the library, Audrey with her

knitting and Maggie with her most recent edition of the L.A.  

Times.  

"I must admit I'm a bit concerned about you going down

there," said Audrey as she set down her knitting.  "I know

you're a grown woman and able to take care of yourself.  But

that smooth-talking Cohn Byers worries me a little."  

"You don't need to worry, Mom.  Everything will be just

fine.  And if it makes you feel any better, I'm taking my cell

phone with me.  If Cohn decides to tie me up and leave me

out on the railroad tracks, I'll be sure to give you a call,

okay?"  

"And just how will you push the buttons with your hands

all tied up?"  asked Audrey wryly.  

"I guess I'll just have to use my nose."  They both

chuckled over this image, then Maggie added, "Really,

Mom, I did stories that are much more threatening than this

when I was down in L.A.  Remember that piece about the

Russian mob?  This will be a piece of cake compared to that.  

Who knows, it might even be fun.  And honestly, despite

what we may have thought before, Cohn Byers appears to

be a perfect gentleman."  

"Yes, but looks can be deceiving, and Spencer didn't seem

to like the way he was looking at you that night we had  

-dinner."  3

Maggie laughed.  "Spence is very protective, which I  

happen to think is quite normal and rather sweet.  But think

about it, Cohn Byers wouldn't dare do anything to offend

me.  After all, he knows I'm a big-mouthed reporter.  Why

would he risk his reputation in such a silly way?"  

"Yes, I suppose you're right.  Besides if anything hap-

pened to you he'd have half of Pine Mountain, not to men-

tion a very angry Jed Whitewater, down there giving him

what for!"  

L  
	146	Melody Carlson	T

Maggie smiled. "Yes, so don't worry.  And speaking of

Jed, I was hoping that you and Leah might be able to post-

pone that dinner engagement with Barbara Harris until I get

back-if it works for everyone."  

"That shouldn't be a problem.  I'll mention it to Leah.  By

the way, how are things with you and Jed lately?"  Her tone

seemed to implicate concern.  "I don't mean to interfere, but

it seems to me that something's not quite the same between

you two.  Anything I should be aware of?"  

Maggie hadn't told her mother about their decision to

slow down their relationship for the time being, and she

wasn't sure she wanted to discuss it now.  Besides, she was

*still hoping Jed might answer her email and decide to con-

tinue their relationship electronically.  But she had to say

something.  "No, we're doing okay.  We just thought for

Leah's sake that we should cool things down a bit-give her

more time to adjust to everything, you know."  

Audrey's brows arched.  "Do you think that's such a good

idea?"  

Maggie studied her mother's face.  Was this the counselor

or the mother speaking?  "I don't really know, Mom.  I mean,

the truth is, I'm not too thrilled with the whole arrangement,

but then Leah has so much to adjust to..  .1 guess it just seems

more fair to her.  She's had such a hard life..."  

Audrey nodded.  "Yes, I understand about her life.  But do

*you realize that it's not up to you and Jed to make all that

up for her?"  

"What do you mean?"  

"I mean, Leah is bound to have a lot of needs-it's to be

expected after all she's been through with that irresponsible

mother of hers.  And I'm absolutely certain that Jed is being

a wonderful father to her now, but he needs to realize that

there's no way he will ever replace or make up all the years

that have gone by.  And if he tries to do it all now, he may be

setting a precedent that will be very hard to maintain in the

years to come.  Do you know what I mean?"  

"I think so...  maybe..."  
	Looking for You All My Life	147

"For Leah's sake, she.  shouldn't expect that Jed is always

going to be her superdad, the guy with all the time in the

world for her.  He needs to be able to have a life of his own.  

Anything else is just not normal-not to mention humanly

impossible.  Having such elevated expectations will only hurt

her in the long run..  .when she discovers that, like her mom,

he's only human."  

"But he's certainly doing a lot better than her mom

defended Maggie.  

"Yes.  But Leah needs to keep standing on her own two

feet.  Of course, Jed's her father and he'll always love her.  But

she's a young adult who needs to continue getting on with

her life.  She needs to accept that Jed can't be her all in all."  

"Won't that take time?"  

"I don't know for sure.  But I do worry that she might get

too caught up in his world.  I mean, she's working so hard in

the shop these days to the exclusion of other things, like con-

tinuing her schooling or spending time with friends her own

age.  The more time that lapses, the more she will depend on

him.  And what if Jed wanted to have more time for some-

thing else?"  Audrey eyed Maggie sharply.  

"Like another relationship..."  

"Exactly."  

But what can I do about it?"  

"You could talk to Jed."  

Maggie moaned and ran a hand through her hair.  "I just

don't see how I can bring this up without sounding rather

selfish.  I mean, between you and me, I'm already a little

jealous of the amount of time he spends with Leah.  I'm

afraid if I tell him what you just said it'll sound like I'm

trying to push her right out of his life.  And I'm not, because

I really do love Leah, Mom.  I don't want to hurt her in any

way."  

Audrey considered this for a moment.  "Maybe I could

talk to him about it."  

Maggie brightened.  "Oh, would you?"  

L  
	*148	Melody Carlson

	*	"Sure, if the right opportunity comes along. Maybe I can

	 	drop some hints with Leah too while I'm at it.  She seems to

	 	listen to me."  

	 	Although they'd never been a demonstrative family,

	 	Maggie threw her arms around her mother.  "Thanks so

	*	much, Mom!"  

	*	Audrey drove Maggie to the airport the next morning,

	*	waiting to see the small twin-engine plane take off with only

	 	Maggie and Cohn Byers' company pilot inside.  Maggie was

	 	glad the pilot didn't seem to want to talk, and instead she

	 	looked out the window and enjoyed the scenery below.  Pine-

	 	covered mountains with clear blue lakes spotted here and

	 	there, and then on to the browns and tans of the barren

	 	desert.  After just a few hours they were landing on an

	 	airstrip.  

	 	The pilot helped her to climb from the little plane, and

	 	then they crossed the tarmac toward a small metal building

	 	that said "Desert Winds" over the door.  

	 	"Does this airstrip belong to the development?"  asked

	 	Maggie as they walked in the door.  

	 	"Yes.  Some of our homeowners have their own planes."  

	 	He set her bag inside the door and glanced around.  "Mr.

	 	Byers is supposed to pick you up here, but I don't see him

	 	just yet.  Why don't you wait over there?"  He pointed to

	 	some chairs by a window.  "I have to fly over to Vegas to get

	 	someone else right now, and I'm already running late.  Will

	 	you be okay?"  

	 	"Sure.  Thanks for the nice flight."  She picked up her

	 	overnight bag and walked over to sit down and wait.  After

	 	several minutes, a woman walked in and sat down at a desk

	 	in the corner.  Maggie thought perhaps she should check with

	 	her about Cohn and make sure he was actually picking her

	 	up.  
	Looking for You All My Life	149

"Hi," she said in friendly voice, observing that this

woman was about her age, dressed quite stylishly, and was

very pretty with long, curly auburn hair.  

"Hello," said the woman in a tone that suggested she'd

rather not be bothered.  

"I was supposed to be picked u~"  

"Are you waiting for a salesman?"  asked the woman

sharply.  "Because if you are, you're in for a long wait-"  

"No, actually I'm waiting for Cohn Byers.  He was sup-

posed to pick me up."  

The woman's left brow arched with suspicion.  "You're

here to see Cohn?"  Something about the way she said his

name implied a familiarity beyond just business and Maggie

wondered if this might be a girlfriend.  

She hurried to explain.  "Yes, I'm a reporter from Oregon,

and I'm here to see Desert Winds in order to find out more

about Mr. Byers' developments.  I am covering a story in our

paper."  For some reason she felt the need to make it clear to

this woman that her visit was strictly business.  

"Sorry, I must've sounded rude," said the woman.  "I'm

June Emerson."  She stood and extended a hand.  "I thought

you were a prospective buyer or something.  And well-to

tell the truth-I've just quit and I came in here to clear out

some things from my daughter's desk.  She also just quit.  She

used to work part-time out here."  

"Oh, I'm sorry to bother you."  Maggie glanced at her

watch.  "It's just that I thought Mr. Byers was supposed to

meet the plane."  

"Well, why don't I give you a lift over to the clubhouse?"  

She eyed Maggie with open curiosity.  "You say you re a

reporter?"  

"Yes.  And to tell the truth, I was really hoping to look

around a little without an escort.  Do you think that's p05-

sible?"  

June laughed.  "Boy, did you run into the right person.  

The stories I could tell you-"  
	*	150	Melody Carlson

	 	Maggie's shoulder.  "Oh, hi, Cohn," she called out.  "This	1:.  

	*	Just then a door opened and June glanced quickly over

	*	woman was just telling me that she was supposed to get

	*	picked up by you.."  Before Cohn reached them, June slipped

	 	a card into Maggie's hand and winked.  "I was just about to

	 	give you a call."  

	 	"Thanks, June," he replied without even looking at her.  

	 	"Welcome to Desert Winds," he said to Maggie, offering her

	 	a warm handshake.  "Sorry there was no one out here.  We're

	 	a little short-staffed today."  He looked over to the waiting

	 	area.  "That your bag?"  

	*	"Yes."  She glanced at June in time to see her mouth the

	 	words "call me," then with a nod she slipped June's card into

	 	her pocket and turned to join Cohn.  

	 	"Sorry about the wait.  And my apologies for the ter-

	*	minal.  It's not the greatest, but it's just temporary.  We have

plans for a much nicer one to be built out here by the end of

next summer.''  

Maggie briefly glanced around the drafty metal building.  

"I suppose it's better than nothing."  She waited for him to

open the door and then lead the way to a luxury SUv that

looked as if it had just rolled off the car lot.  

"I thought we'd have lunch at the clubhouse first, then

give you some time to relax a little this afternoon.  You can

hang around and enjoy the clubhouse facilities, golf if you

like, or visit the spa.  Unfortunately, something urgent has

come up and I have some pressing business I need to attend

to today.  Then, if you don't- mind, I'll meet you for breakfast

tomorrow morning, and afterward give you a complete tour

with me as your personal guide.  How does that sound?"  

* "Great," she replied, eager to have a free and unsuper-

vised day to explore the development on her own.  

"We have a wonderful spa facility, an Olympic-sized

pool, and a state-of-the-art workout area.  I even reserved a

masseuse for you at three o'clock."  He glanced over at her.  

"I thought you might enjoy some R and R while you're here.  

You know what they say about all work and no play."  
	Looking for YouAllMy Life	151

She smiled.  "No problem.  I think it sounds just perfect."  

The clubhouse was fairly impressive upon first glance,

with its large pond and fountain situated just outside the

entrance and tall, open-beamed ceilings inside.  But upon

-closer inspection, in the ladies' restroom, for instance, she

noticed numerous things that suggested less than the best

workmanship and materials, not to mention poor mainte-

nance.  She spotted several cracked tiles, a loose soap dis-

penser; and even some places where the wallpaper was

starting to peel off the walls.  Certainly not the sort of things

most people might notice, and maybe no big deal, but she

was trying to be watchful.  She snapped a few photos and

then quickly jotted these observations down in her note-  

* book.  

Soon they were seated at a window table that overlooked

the golf course.  "It must take a lot of water to keep those

greens up," she commented as she scanned over the menu.  

"Yes, but we have an excellent well system.  We had to go

through about a thousand feet of solid rock, but it was

worth it.  We have some of the best water in the world here."  

"How old is Desert Winds?"  

"It's been about two years since we first opened the club-

house and Phase One of the housing."  He pointed to a sec-

tion of impressive-looking homes off in the distance, circling

the southern perimeter of the golf course.  

"So it's fairly new compared to your other communi-

ties?"  

"Yes, it's our most recent project.  That's exactly why I

thought you should see it as it's probably very similar to

what we have planned for TS Development in Pine Moun-

tain Estates."  

She glanced around the restaurant.  It was about half-

filled, mostly with people who looked to be of retirement

age.  She also noticed that most of the waiters appeared to be

of Hispanic background.  Not that she had anything against

that, but she remembered the stories she'd heard of illegal

workers.  However, the girl waiting their table was a perky  
152 ~ Melody Carison  

blue-eyed blonde, probably not much older than Spencer.  

She greeted Cohn by name as she took their orders.  

"Does everyone know you here?"  asked Maggie as she

started on her salad.  

He laughed.  "Not everyone.  But this is my special table,

and Christy's dad is an associate of mine."  

"I noticed that a lot of the waiters are Hispanic..."  She

studied his eyes for any clues as he answered.  

"So we're an equal opportunity employer."  He shrugged

without any real show of concern.  

But she wasn't about to be cowed by his confidence.  "Do

you know for sure that all your employees are legal U.S.  cit-

izens?"  

He shrugged.  "Does anyone?"  Then he smiled warmly.  

"Actually, my personnel director handles these things.  You

can take it up with him if you like.  I'll give you his number."  

"Thanks."  She smiled apologetically.  "I hate to seem like

such a pest, but you know it's the reason why I came."  

He pretended to frown.  "It wasn't just for my good com-

pany after all?"  

Playing his game, she frowned back.  "~ell, then I'd have

been terribly disappointed about being abandoned for the

day, wouldn't I?"  

His eyes lit.  "You mean you are?  I could try to wind

things up in time for dinner tonight..."  

She waved her hand in dismissal.  "Oh, no, no.  Don't

worry about me.  I'll be perfectly fine, really.  I'm looking for-

ward to relaxing.  I even brought a good novel along."  

He seemed unsure.  "Are you certain, Maggie?"  

She nodded, feeling a bit like a hypocrite as she fingered

June's business card resting in her pocket.  "I'm certain,

Cohn.  Like I said, some R and R sounds just wonderful to

me."  But perhaps, she told herself, the "R and R" might

actually stand for reconnaissance and research...  
 5 soon as Maggie was settled into her luxurious

suite across from the clubhouse, she called the

woman she'd met at the airstrip.  

"This is June," came a crisp reply.  

"Hello, this is Maggie Carpenter," she began tentatively.  

"I met you today at the little airport."  Suddenly she won-

dered if this woman 5 offer had been in earnest or not.  And

furthermore, whether or not she could trust her.  Still, what

did she have to lose?  

"Oh, I was just telli~ng my daughter about you, Maggie.  

What can I do for you?"  

She explained a little more about the nature of her mis-

sion, how she was now stuck at the clubhouse for the

remainder of the day without a car, and how she really

wanted to see more of the community without being under

the watchful surveillance of Cohn Byers.  

June laughed.  "Yes, you can be certain, Cohn will only

show you what he wants you to see.  And without a doubt,

he's brought you to one of his best-developed communities,

hoping to impress you, I'm sure."  

"Does that mean there's nothing here that's really out of

line?"  

153  
	154	Melody Carlson

June laughed even louder now.  "Oh, don't kid yourself.  

Desert Winds may be better than the other developments,

but believe me, it has its share of problems.  That's exactly

why I can't stand to stick around for one more day.  It's really

ironic that I ran into you Out at the airport today, but

somehow I think there's a reason for it.  Anyway, my

daughter and I are sick of the greed and deception that goes

on here.  I tried to convince myself when I first came out that

this place was different, and in some ways it is.  But to be

honest, I know it was only the lure of big money that made

me look the other way all this time."  

"So there's quite a bit to be made in these developments?"  

Maggie was already taking vigorous notes.  

"Oh, yeah, if you're into easy money, it's here for the

making.  They say there's a new sucker born every minute,"

she made a groaning sound, "but I've had enough-I'm fed

up with the whole biz.  I mean, once I realized how it was

affecting my daughter, I decided it was time to split.  I'm

sorry to go on and on about this-I guess it's because I've

kept it all bottled up inside for so long.  Anyway, we're all

packed up over here, and I can spare you an hour or two.  

Would you like me to pick you up right now?"  

"Do you mind?  I mean, I know you're in the middle of

moving and everything.  I hate to take your time-"  

No.  All that's left to do is a little cleaning, and, as usual,

my Annie's got everything under control.  I'm thinking that

if I can help you to get this story out, it might just be my per-

sonal way of apologizing for my involvement here-sort of

like paying restitution, I guess."  

"You make it sound pretty bad."  Maggie wondered what

she was getting into.  

"Well, I guess it all depends on how you look at it.  Cohn

is certainly able to justify everything and he manages to do

most things within the legal limits of the law-why, he's even

had me believing he was totally legit.  But then one morning

you wake up and realize how many innocent people have

been hurt...  and well, I'll explain everything when I get there.  
	Looking for You AitMy Life	155

Watch for a white Jaguar out in the circle drive in front of

the condos.  I don't dare come inside-you don't want to be

seen with me.  I'll be there in about twenty minutes.  

Maggie called to cancel her three o'clock massage, then

headed out to the lobby to wait for June.  While she was

waiting, discreetly wearing her dark glasses and already

assuming her new role in undercover espionage, she over-

heard tidbits of a heated conversation from the front desk.  

"Look!"  said an older man, probably in his sixties.  "My

wife and I drove all the way over here from the bay area, and

now there isn't a drop of water at our house, and according

to maintenance tb~ere won't be.  This is unacceptable, and I

demand that you find us a room with running water imme-

diately."  

"I'm sorry, sir," said the woman in a strained voice.  "As

I told you before, all the rooms are full."  Just then Maggie

noticed a white car pull up outside.  She hurried Out to see

June waving from behind the wheel of a sleek Jaguar, then

climbed in.  Obviously, working for Cohn had paid off finan-

cially for the woman.  

"You have no idea how much I appreciate this," said

Maggie as she closed the door and buckled herself into the

cool leather seat.  

June nodded and quickly took off.  "I'm just glad to get

the chance to help someone else for a change.  Only last week

I heard Cohn talking about this new Oregon development,

bragging about how it would be the first one in that state,

and I thought to myself then that this man will never be

stopped.  Maybe he won't, but it won't be for lack of trying."  

Maggie grimaced.  "Cohn is so convincing.  I had almost

expected-in fact, I'd even hoped for the sake of our town-

that I'd come here and find everything to be just as he had

described."  

"Believe me, you would have."  

"That's what I was afraid of."  

"Cohn would kill me if he knew what I was doing..."  

I  

June glanced nervously out her rearview mirror.  
	156	Melody Carlson

"Not seriously!"  Suddenly Maggie imagined June's car

being followed by a hit man in a dark sedan.  

June laughed.  "No, I've never heard of Cohn committing

any murders.  Although one old guy became so frustrated

over a home he'd purchased last year that I think it gave him

a stroke, and for that I blame Cohn."  

"There was a man in the lobby who sounded pretty

upset.  He was complaining that he had no water at his

house."  

"He must have purchased a home in Phase Three.  Their

well ran dry last week.  Some people are having huge stain-

less steel storage tanks installed~ but they run about $20,000

each and there's already a long waiting list.  Once they're

installed the homeowners will have to pay to get them

refilled all the time, and of course their landscaping, which

is supposedly required for each house, has all died.  Nothing

can survive Out here without water.  That's how Cohn was

able to get the land so cheap to start with.  On top of all that,

they raise the homeowners' fees every time you turn around.  

A lot of these people are forced to sell for below market

value just to get out without losing everything.  It's really

quite sad."  

"I never considered how all this could impact the con-

sumers," said Maggie.  "I was actually more concerned with

the quality of the development from the outside community's

standpoint.  I hadn't given much thought as to what a

headache it might be for the unsuspecting people who buy

into these places."  

"I was in sales."  June pulled up to a parking area on a

small ridge that overlooked the golf course and clubhouse.  

"And all we ever did was think about the folks who buy into

these places, always coming up with another new method to

lure them in and then get them hooked."  

Maggie gazed over the lush green golf course and well-

planned clubhouse buildings.  "This really looks quite nice

from up here."  
	F	Looking for You All My Life	157

"It's supposed to.  We always stop here on our sales tour.  

We brag about the golf course and clubhouse facilities, and

while they really are very nice, they have problems too which

will only get worse over time.  You'll probably notice a few

things before your stay is over, although I've no doubt that

Cohn put you in one of the best suites with instructions for

everyone to treat you like royalty.  Let me guess-you're in

suite 305?"  

"That's right!"  

"Anyway, after the tour of the clubhouse, we take you to

see Phase One.  We have a beautiful model home that we

walk you through.  Naturally, it's the only one of its kind,

well-constructed, immaculate, and decorated to the nines in

Ralph Lauren's classiest southwest decor.  Of course, it's right

on the golf course, and we usually invite you to sit on the

deck for plenty of drinks and appetizers-the royal treat-

ment.  Then we show you maps of the property, and a

schmaltzy video showing the other phases-rather parts of

the other phases.  We usually know exactly which lot we

want to sell, and we tell you that we have this really special

lot-the only one of its kind-and only available because

someone died or something dramatic like that."  

"And do people buy it?"  

June nodded sadly.  "Many of them have had a few too

many drinks by then, and they're caught up in all the

glamour.  We help them to imagine themselves suddenly

living out their fantasies of the lifestyle of the rich and

famous.  In other words, they buy in haste and repent in

leisure."  

"Is anyone happy here?"  

"Oh, some might actually be happy, but they're the ones

who have money to burn.  And, of course, they all live in

Phase One.  We'll drive through that first.  We can stop at the

model home if you like."  

"Let's do that.  It might be effective for me to get the

whole 'royal treatment' as you put it."  
	158	Melody Carlson

June laughed.  "Maybe I should sell you a lot while I'm at

it too.  

"Actually, I'd probably make a likely victim.  I bought a  

house sight unseen last year-not the smartest thing I've

done in my life.  It could've turned into a real nightmare but,

fortunately, it's been more like a dream come true."  Maggie

told her about Clyde selling his house to her as they drove

through Phase One.  "This looks quite nice in here," she

observed.  The houses were large and impressive with well-

watered and immaculate lawns.  

"Yes.  Unfortunately these are the minority of home-

owners in Desert Winds.  But they have paid dearly for these

showplaces.  Everything done Out here on the desert is highly

inflated-nothing comes cheap, except for the quality of

workmanship and materials, that is.  Of course, some things

will only show up over time.  These homes are only a year, or

two at the most, old.  But my guess is that in five years they

will be having some major problems."  

"Are you saying that even the best homes aren't well

built?"  

"They cut lots of corners, have very low building stan-

dards, and often use inferior materials."  

Maggie jotted all this down.  Then they toured the model

home, and she was honestly impressed by its open, flowing

design and expensive decor.  With classical music piped into

every room, computerized heating and cooling systems,

remote-controlled window coverings, and many other of the

very latest innovations, she almost became convinced that

she'd rather have a house like this than her own dear house

back in Pine Mountain.  "Are all the homes in Phase One like

this?"  

"Some come close, but nothing is quite this nice.  It would

cost a fortune.  But, after a few drinks and some persuasion,

most people assume that this," she waved her arm around

dramatically, "is what they'll be getting when they sign on

the bottom line.  Of course, if they'd only read the fine print

they might suspect otherwise.  But don't kid you  
	Looking for You All My Life	159

is very careful to obey the letter of the law.  For the most part

people are incredibly trusting and gullible-especially some

of the older ones.  I want to show you a couple of the vacant

houses so you can get a better look at some of the construc-

tion problems-one in this phase, and the other in the latest

phase.  Then you can decide for yourself."  

Maggie couldn't believe the difference between the vacant

houses and the model home.  She took photos of uneven

sheet-rock on the walls where nail heads had popped out,

wobbly toilets, cheap lighting fixtures, thin vinyl flooring

with bubbles, and one bathroom where the plumbing wasn't

even connected to the sink.  On top of this, June explained

how many people were having problems with improperly

installed, but very expensive, septic tank systems that sat

aboveground and were becoming environmental and health

hazards.  

"You can see why I want to get out of here," said June

after they finished touring the last house.  

"Do you know much firsthand about the other develop-

ments?"  

"I've seen enough of them to know that this is truly their

best one."  

"I guess then what I've read about the other places might

be true as well."  

June nodded soberly.  "It's all because of greed.  Cohn and

his associates have made millions, maybe billions-at the

expense of others.  And this may be only a rumor, but I've

heard that Cohn has some lawsuits pending.  I'm sure it's all

a matter of public record.  It shouldn't be too difficult to get

the details."  

"Have you ever heard of any actual settlements?"  

June shook her head.  "Cohn keeps all that kind of stuff

under pretty tight wraps.  The only reason I heard about the

pending lawsuits was because I was dating him at the time.  

And that is something I don't want to talk about."  

Maggie surveyed the golf course again.  It was really quite

an attractive contrast with the surrounding desert.  "It's too  
	160	Melody Carlson

bad they had to take all those shortcuts and do such a

shoddy job of developing everything.  I don't understand-"  

"That's because you're basically a good person.  You  

don't understand that a lot of folks in this world only care

about the bottom line."  

"But surely they still would've made plenty of money if

they'd done things right from the start.  Then at least they'd

be able to sleep at night."  

"Greed does strange things to people, Maggie.  It can

really mess up your perspective.  Believe me, I know first-

hand.  I allowed myself to be pulled into this.  But like I said,

the day comes when you have to look at yourself in the

mirror-" her voice broke, "or into your daughter's eyes."  

"Your daughter sounds like a very sensible girl.  I think

you're doing the right thing to get out of this."  

"Yeah, I'm so thankful for Annie.  She's really got her

head on straight.  I could learn a lot from her."  June pulled

up in front of the condo complex and stopped.  "I'm sorry I

can't spend more time with you, but we're trying to get out

of here today.  I'm driving the U-Haul and Annie's driving the

car.  We have a ways to go before we reach my folks' place

by nightfall."  

"Thanks so much for all your help, June."  Maggie

handed her a business card from the newspaper.  "If you're

ever in the neighborhood, stop in.  And God bless you and

your daughter as you travel."  

Maggie went immediately to work on her article for next

week's paper, calling room service to order a small dinner to

be sent to her room.  She knew she couldn't enjoy using any

of the luxurious amenities in the clubhouse now, knowing

how these little niceties were created at the expense of the

unfortunate homeowners, not to mention being used as bait

to lure in even more unsuspecting buyers.  To her dismay, she

realized she hadn't packed her computer modem for her

laptop and was consequently unable to access any informa-

tion online or check her email.  She didn't expect to hear from

Jed, but she was still hoping.  
	Looking for YouAllMy Life	161

As she finally prepared for bed, she dreaded the idea of

spending the entire day with Cohn tomorrow, but could

think of no real escape short of hiring a taxi to drive her over

a hundred miles to Las Vegas, which was the nearest city to

Desert Winds.  Though she would never mention June's

informative tour to Cohn, she wanted him to know that she

was well aware of Desert Winds' unpleasant secrets-at least

some of them.  June had intimated that there were more, but

seemed reluctant to say too much.  Not that Maggie blamed

her.  People like Cohn Byers' usually had a number of slick

corporate attorneys in their back pocket.  June was smart to

get out while she could.  Maggie knew that June had had

more than just a business relationship with Cohn, and her

reluctance to speak of it was understandable.  But surely she

hadn't told her all this just to spite him.  No, it had seemed

more of a confession of sorts, an attempt to clean the slate

before she moved on.  Maggie prayed for June and Annie as

they traveled across the desert to a new life.  She remembered

distinctly how that had felt-the excitement, the apprehen-

sion.  Hopefully it would go as well for them as it had for her.  

Cohn's tour on Sunday held no surprises, beginning with

an elegant and leisurely breakfast served Out on a terrace

right next to the golf course.  Then they played nine holes of

golf, and somehow Maggie managed not to embarrass her-

self too badly.  Phil had taught her how to play golf in their

early married days, but she had been young and impatient

with the slow-moving game back then, promising him that

one day, when they both grew older, she would play with

him on a regular basis.  This thought made her incredibly sad

now.  

Cohn was polite and considerate, showing off every

amenity of the clubhouse facility with an air of grace mm-

gled with pride.  It was clear he thought Desert Winds to be

his best effort so far, although he made no apologies for any  
	162	Melody Carison

of his other developments, implying that their standards

were always of the very highest.  He took more time than

June had in showing her the beautiful model home, careful

to point out and demonstrate each and every luxurious

detail.  When Maggie asked him how this house compared

with the others, he diplomatically answered that no two

homes were the same, and that this fact was what made his

developments so special.  She had to look the other way to

hide her disgust as she remembered how there'd been only

three different sets of blueprints used in the houses in the

Phase Three section, each one only slightly different.  She

questioned him about things such as water, electricity, and

waste disposal.  But each of his flawless answers flowed

smoothly, implying that other than the occasional problem,

all went very well at Desert Winds.  He even stopped to show

her his own home, which not surprisingly, was equal in every

way to the model home.  

Shortly after lunch, Maggie began to feel unwell.  She

wasn't sure if it was a result of the stress from playing a

double agent or from the restaurant's overly rich food, but

her head was throbbing and she honestly felt ill.  She thanked

Cohn for everything and quickly excused herself to her

room, collapsing Onto the bed to rest.  Mostly, she was

relieved to get away from him.  His smooth charm had begun

to work on her again, and she had almost believed him when

he'd rambled on and on about his vision for his future devel-

opments.  He promised her that Pine Mountain Estates

would be far superior to Desert Winds.  He even invited her

to become involved on the ground floor, offering her a spe-

cial "early investor" deal and guaranteeing her that property

values would only increase as the community continued to

be developed.  

Surely, that was enough to make anyone sick!  

t  
5-.  

~ortunately Maggie didn't have to see Cohn again  

#beforesheflewoutofDesertWindsonMonday  

morning.  He had called the evening before to check  

on her, but while she'd reassured him that she was somewhat

better, she had declined his dinner invitation.  He had a

basket of goodies sent to her room, which she gave to the

maid.  The young woman, who didn't speak a single word of

English, and was most likely in the country illegally, seemed

truly grateful.  

Maggie restrained herself from falling to her knees and

kissing the ground after the twin-engine airplane finally

landed.  Instead she thanked the pilot, gathered her things,

and jogged over to meet her mothet, who was waiting at the

gate.  

"It feels like I've been gone for a month," she exclaimed

as she hugged Audrey.  

"So how did your little investigation go?"  

Maggie told her mother the whole story as they drove

back to Pine Mountain.  

"I must admit I felt slightly deceitful, but I told Cohn

from the beginning why I was there," she said as they pulled  

163  
	164	Melody Carlson

into town.  "But I just couldn't tell him about June's tour.  I

didn't want to get her into trouble."  

"Or yourself," agreed Audrey.  "Don't worry, he'll hear

about your findings soon enough."  

Maggie sighed.  "I honestly wish it had gone differently.  I

really wanted to be pleasantly surprised.  For the sake of

everyone in town, I wish I could write a good report on

Desert Winds."  

"Just write the truth-that's good enough."  

Maggie treated her mother to lunch at the hotel.  As they

ate Audrey told her about the conversation she'd had with

Jed when she called him to change the dinner date with Bar-

bara Harris.  "He seemed very concerned about you going

down to Nevada with Cohn Byers on such short notice."  

Maggie made a face.  "What?  Did he think I was eloping

or something?"  

Audrey laughed.  "Maybe.  Although I assured him it was

strictly business.  Just the same, I'm not sure he was con-

vinced."  

"Did you talk to him about Leah?"  

"I tried to.  But he seemed pretty defensive.  I think he's

carrying a lot of guilt over abandoning her as a baby, and I

have a feeling he's willing to do whatever it takes to make up

for her earlier life."  

"Did you tell him why you don't think that's very

healthy?"  

"I tried."  Audrey shook her head.  "But I don't think he

heard me."  

"Poor Jed.  He's such a decent person.  I know he only

wants to do what's right.  It has to be hard on him trying to

understand all these things."  

"And all these women in his life..."  Audrey chuckled.  

"Plus he's spending so much time with Michael these

days.  I suppose I just need to be patient and cut him some

slack until he gets things figured Out.''  Yet at the same time,

Maggie couldn't wait to get home and see if he'd answered

her email.  
	Looking for YouAllMy Life	165

"You might be right to just play it cool," agreed Audrey.  

"Anyway, I invited them all for dinner on Wednesday night.  

Will that work for you?"  

"Sounds great."  

Maggie decided to go to work for the rest of the after-

noon, but Scott stopped her in the lobby before she could

even get into her own office.  Like a kid with a new toy, he

was eager to have her read his story about Randy Ebbert's

white supremacist group.  

"Apparently he has some real card-carrying members,"

exclaimed Scott.  "I found his website on the Internet and he

was boasting of increased numbers."  

"Well, that could just mean his wife's having another

baby."  

Scott laughed.  "Man, you won't believe the kind of stuff

these guys write about online for the whole world to see.  I

even called the FBI to make sure they're keeping track of all

these little fringe groups.  Apparently they are.  A woman told

me they even have a special division for it."  

"I'm sure they'd have to watch them.  You never know

what one of these fanatics might do."  She scanned his story.  

"This looks really good, Scott, but do you think it's complete

yet?"  

He frowned.  "Well, I thought I could run this piece now,

and then continue following it up, you know-sort of an

ongoing report about what's going on in Randy Ebbert's

hate camp."  

She nodded.  "I suppose so.  But we want to be careful not

to give him too much attention.  Sometimes these guys eat

this kind of thing up."  

"But everything I've said is so negative.  I didn't pull any

punches, Maggie.  I can't imagine that Ebbert's going to be

pleased."  
	166	Melody Carison

"Probably not."  She handed the story back.  "I'm sure

when he reads this, he'll be more likely than ever to start

printing his own newspaper."  

Scott laughed.  "Great.  Competition is healthy.  

The front door opened and they both turned to see Gavin

Barnes.  At least it looked like Gavin, but something about

him seemed very different.  Maybe that old swagger was

gone, or perhaps he'd lost that hard glint in his eye, but

somehow he reminded Maggie of an errant boy who'd just

been sent down to the principal's office.  She extended her

hand in a friendly greeting.  "It's really good to see you again,

Gavin.  I didn't even know you were in town."  

"Good to see you too, Maggie.  I just got here and

thought I'd stop by to see my uncle first."  The way he said

first suggested he didn't know what he'd do after that~r

perhaps whether he'd even be welcome at all.  

"Hey, Gavin," said Scott.  "I liked your letter."  

Gavin glanced uneasily at Maggie.  "Did you print it?"  

"Last week.  And I've already heard some nice feedback."  

He seemed relieved.  "Is Clyde here?"  

"He's out back," said Scott, "having a problem with one

of his cranky old machines, and the words are flying."  

"Maybe I can give him a hand," said Gavin.  As he

walked toward the back he stopped by Abigail's desk.  

"How's it going, Abigail?"  

Her brows shot up.  "Just fin~thanks."  After he was out

of earshot, she shook her head.  "Now, if that don't beat all.  

Gavin's never given me the time of day before."  

"People can change," said Maggie as she headed to her

office.  To tell the truth, she was almost as surprised as Abi-

gail, but she hoped, especially for Clyde's sake, that Gavin

had truly changed.  

She quickly went online with her computer, going directly

to her email.  She found a note from Rebecca and a couple of

other things, but not a word from Jed.  She told herself it

didn't matter and went into a search for any record of law-

suits pending against Cohn Byers.  A couple of phone calls  
	Looking for You All My Life	167

and faxes later, she had just what she needed in her hand.  

And although the court date for an impressive4ooking class-

action lawsuit wasn't set until next August, the insinuation

of wrongdoing was as plain as day.  She knew just where she

would work this little bombshell of information into her

story.  Just as she finished her last rewrite on the Desert

Winds article, she heard a quiet knock on her door.  "Come

in," she called as she hit the "save" button and exited from

her document.  

"Got a minute?"  asked Gavin tentatively.  

"Sure, come on in."  

He sank into the chair across from her desk and exhaled

loudly.  "I just talked to Clyde."  

"How'd it go?"  She leaned forward with interest.  

"Actually, better than I had expected."  He forced a smile.  

"He didn't tell me to leave town.  But on the other hand, he

didn't invite me to stay either."  

"Are you staying?"  

"I'd like to."  

"Do you have a place?  I'm sure there are lots of rooms

available at the hotel.  It's pretty slow over there."  

He shrugged.  "I guess I could stay at the hotel, but

they've fixed the place up so nice I'm afraid it's gotten pretty

expensive.  And to tell you the truth, I'm a little low on cash

right now.  I haven't had much income lately."  

Suddenly she wondered if the only reason Gavin had

come back was to weasel some money from his uncle.  But

something about his demeanor made her think not.  Still, she

couldn't be sure.  "What exactly are your plans, Gavin?"  

He shrugged again.  "I don't know.  I just needed to come

back here, Maggie.  For some reason this place feels like

home to me.  I just don't know where else to go."  

"I always thought you were more of a big-city guy,

Gavin."  

"I suppose I've changed."  

She smiled.  "I can see that.  But if you stayed here, how

would you make a living?  Any plans?"  

L  
	168	Melody Carlson

His eyes lit up. "You hiring?"  

She thought about that for a moment.  Just last week, she'd

mentioned to Clyde she'd like to hire someone for the sole pur-

pose of selling ad space.  The paper's only profits came from

selling advertising, and yet none of them enjoyed doing it.  

"Well, actually, we might have an Opening, Gavin.  Although

it's only part time to start-and it's not very glamorous.  

He straightened up in his chair.  "That's okay.  What is it?  

Delivering papers?  Cleaning up?  Believe me, Maggie, I'm

willing to do whatever it takes."  

She laughed.  "Well, I suppose it could include those

things.  There's no doubt a lot goes undone around here, but

I was thinking more about getting someone to sell adver-

tising for the paper.  We've been toying with the idea of doing

two editions a week, and we're already understaffed."  

"Hey, I was always good at selling ads.  Just pull Out some

of the old papers and you'll see."  

She remembered the old ad-filled papers with hardly any

news stories, then grinned.  "No offense Gavin, but I think you

were better at selling ads than you were at running the ~  

He nodded eagerly.  "I was.  Want to give me another

shot?  Do you think Clyde will agree?"  

She drummed her pencil on the desk while she considered

this.  "Well, I'm the one who'll decide, but I'd like to run it

past him first.  I want him to be supportive of the decision.  

And you know, Gavin, Clyde's not getting any younger, and

he still insists on doing most of the presswork himself.  

Although Scott tries to help him out in the pressroom, it's

not the best use of Scott's time when he's trying to become a

serious journalist."  

"I'd be glad to help out in the pressroom-that is, if

Clyde will let me.  Honestly, Maggie, I'm willing to do what-

ever it takes to prove to him that I've changed."  

"I believe you, Gavin."  She studied him carefully.  "But

can I ask you something very bluntly?"  

at "Yeah, sure, anything.  Go for it.  I had to get used to this

rehab."  
	Looking for YouAllMy Life	169

"Well, I know it'll be on Clyde's mind..  and mine too."  

She wasn't sure how to ask, other than just to cut to the

chase.  Besides, she wanted to closely observe Gavin's initial

reaction.  "Okay, the thing is, I need to know if you're just

trying to get into Clyde's good graces in order to secure an

inheritance."  

She studied him carefully.  Gavin looked down at his feet

for a moment.  She suspected that her question might have

hurt his feelings, but then he looked back up, his gaze evenly

meeting hers.  "That's a fair question, Maggie, and under the

circumstances it 5 not all that surprising."  He cleared his

throat and continued.  "I know you'll find this hard to believe,

but money has become a lot less important to me since I quit

drinking.  Suddenly I've become a lot more interested in get-

ting a real life.  You know what I mean, a life with family and

friends, and hopefully finding work that I enjoy.  I feel like I'm

starting all over again.  Only this time, I'd like to do it right."  

She felt his genuineness and smiled at him.  "Good.  I'll

talk to Clyde about the job."  

Relief washed over his face.  "Thanks.  I appreciate it."  

"Now," she glanced at her watch, "it's quitting time."  

"Well, thanks again for everything."  He rose to leave,

and she wondered where he'd go, where he'd stay.  She con-

sidered offering to help Out, but then wondered if that was

such a good idea.  But in the same instant, she recalled some-

thing she'd heard Michael say recently about how when they

helped people in need, it was like helping Jesus.  Gavin cer-

tainly seemed to be in need.  

"Um..  as you know," she began with some uncertainty,

we have extra room at my house.  I mean, the top floor

hasn't been totally renovated yet, but it's not all that bad

either.  You could stay up there for a while, if you want..  that

is, until you figure things Out."  

"Are you serious?"  He was incredulous.  "You'd put me

up at your house?"  

"Well, we're not a bed-and-breakfast yet.  And you might

need to be on your own for meals-"  
	170	Melody Carlson

"I wouldn't expect you to feed me or anything.  Don't  

worry.  I can fend for myself.  But it would really help to have  

a place to stay, at least for now.  I thought I'd sell my car after  

I got here, you know, to have some money to tide me over at  

first.  But of course I haven't had a chance yet."  

She nodded, then glanced out the window, remembering

how Audrey had dropped her off at the office.  "Speaking of

cars, could you give me a ride home?"  

She told Gavin about her trip to Desert Winds as he drove

to her house, explaining all about Greg and Rick's plans to

develop the farmland, as well as how they swindled Arnold

Westerly Out of his property.  

"I've done some pretty slimy things in my life," admitted

Gavin as he pulled into the driveway, "and I know in many

ways that I'm probably much worse than those two guys,

but what they're doing is really wrong!  For the sake of the

town, I hope they can be stopped before it's too late."  

"Oh, look," cried Maggie when she saw her house suddenly

beginning to glow with hundreds of little white lights.  "They

put up Christmas lights while I was Out of town this weekend.  

Oh, doesn't it look wonderful!"  She leaped from the car and

ran up to the front porch to see Spencer hobbling around on his

walking cast.  "This looks great, Spence!"  She hugged him.  "But

please don't tell me you climbed up on a ladder with that cast."  

He laughed.  "I would've, but Grandma wouldn't let me.  

Leah and Jed did all of the high stuff and I did the places I

could reach from the ground."  

She looked at the evergreen wreath on the door and at the

garlands wrapped around the porch handrails.  "This is so

lovely.  What a beautiful homecoming."  

"Yeah, that was Grandma's idea.  Hey, who's that?"  asked

Spencer, looking over at Gavin as he carried a suitcase from

his car.  

"It's Gavin Barnes.  He's going to stay with us a while."  

Then, lowering her voice, "He's really changed, Spencer.  You

won't believe it."  
%  

	Looking for YouAllMy Life	171

Audrey had never met Gavin before, but after Maggie

discreetly took her aside and explained everything, she

warmly welcomed him into their household, even inviting

him to help her in the kitchen by peeling potatoes.  Without

complaining, he rolled up his sleeves and pitched right in.  

After dinner, Audrey took Maggie aside and offered to let

Gavin use the guest house while he stayed with them.  

"No, Mom.  I don't want to push you Out of your little

nest."  

"But is it proper for him to stay with you in your home?"  

asked Audrey with a concerned brow.  

Maggie considered this.  "Well, how would it be any dif-

ferent if I were running a bed-and-breakfast?"  

"I suppose you're right.  After all, it's not as if you're

romantically involved with him."  She peered at Maggie curi-

ously.  "You're not are you?  I mean, he's awfully nice, and

rather good-looking too."  

She rolled her eyes.  "Don't be ridiculous, Mom.  Why is

it that everyone assumes if I spend any time with a man that

I must be romantically involved with him?"  

"Well, you just never know."  Then taking on a teasing

tone, Audrey continued, "And you must admit, you've been

seen with a number of attractive men lately.  I'm sure it's just

a matter of time until you'll have all of Pine Mountain

atwitter."  

Maggie laughed.  "And what would be new about that?"  

Leah came home late.  She'd been helping Jed to Organize

some things for his trade show next week.  "Michael's going

to drive up to Seattle with him," said Leah as she ate from

the plate of leftovers they'd saved for her.  

Maggie turned the heat up beneath the teakettle.  "How's

old Jed doing?"  she asked, hoping to sound nonchalant,

though just speaking his name seemed to make her heart

pound a little faster.  
	172	Melody Carison

"Okay, I guess.  Probably working too hard to get every-

thing just perfect for this crazy show.  He's renting a big truck

to take everything in.  It's sure good that he has Michael to

help him with all the loading and unloading.  I just hope this

show is worth all his effort."  

"I'm sure it will be.  Once people see the quality of his fur-

niture, he can't help but line up lots of work."  

Leah brightened.  "Yeah, I'm sure he'll be a huge success.  

I wish I could go too, but I need to stay home and keep the

shop open.  Hey, did you hear we got some new snow up at

the higher elevations last weekend?  Jed says just one more

good dump and the resort should be open.  Then we'd be

really busy in the shop."  

Maggie explained to Leah about their new houseguest,

then made herself a pot of chamomile tea and said goodnight.  

In her room she looked longingly at her laptop computer.  

Was it possible that Jed had answered her email?  Did she

want to chance looking and be disappointed?  And yet, how

could she not?  It felt as though years had gone by since they'd

last spoken.  She quickly plugged in her modem and waited

for the computer to connect.  What if this brief span in their

relationship had actually weakened things?  Could it undo

something important?  Yet if their feelings for each other were

real, wouldn't they be able to withstand a small break?  At last

the line connected, and with trepidation she opened her

email.  First was a message from Rebecca, which she skipped

because the next return address was whitewaterworks.com!  

Quickly she opened it, almost afraid to read.  

	*	Dear Maggie:

	 	What a surprise to go online and find that you had

	 	sent me an emaill I don't check my email every day, but

	*	I sure wili from now on.  You have no idea how good

	*	it is to feel a connection with you again.  I've missed

	 	you so much, my Maggiel When I saw you at the hotel

	 	restaurant on Thursday, it was all I could do to remain

	 	in my seat and keep my conversation focused at our
	Looking for YouAltMy Life	173

table.  You looked so beautiful, and I must admit I felt

some furious jolts of jealousy seeing you there with

Cohn Byers.  Yet all the time, I kept telling myself you

were only there on business-what else could it be?  

But Barbara seemed set on thinking that you and Cohn

were Pine Mountains' hottest new couple.  And, of

course, what could I say without revealing everything?  

But when I got your email, I knew I'd been right to

believe the best in you.  I suppose the heart can be a

fickle thing when it comes to hurt and love.  And I must

admit to my weakness in that area when Barbara car-

ried on about you two.  I felt the bitter taste of some

serious hurt.  And I didn't like it, not at aill But I realize

that's the risk of loving someone-a person could get

hurt.  And, as you may already suspect, I was hurt once

before.  It was a long time ago, and I'll tell you all about

it someday But since that time, I suppose I've kept my

heart locked up safe and sound.  That is, until you

arrived in town.  Well, its' very late, my dear one.  But I

hope to continue this conversation with you later.  And

hopefully, it won't be long until we can be more open

with our relationship.  I do think Leah is growing more

confident all the time, but I must admit, I sense troubles

with her whenever I bring up your name.  I think it has

something to do with her mother, but I can't be sure.  

In the meantime, know that my feelings for you are as

strong ~no, strongerl) than ever  

Love,  

Jed  

Maggie felt tears of happiness in her eyes, and immedi-

ately began her answer.  

Dear Jed,  

Thank you for your wonderful email letter.  It means so

much to me.  I have missed you desperately Even

tonight I worried that this little 'break" might mess up

something between us permanently But now I feel

certain that it won't.  I wish this thing with Leah could  
	174	Melody Carlson

be over but I do understand, and I know she needs

ore time.  Honestly I'm willing to wait as long as it

kes.  I think if we can just keep in touch (even if it's  

L  

only through email) I'll do much better. I guess I must

pretty' insecure at heart, for it's easy for me to think  

	 	the worst sometimes.  I'm sorry, but it's true.  Maybe you

	 	can relate, because what you said about loving and

	*	being hurt makes a lot of sense.  I feel like I'm laying my

	 	heart right out on the line and giving someone (you)

	*	the power to really make me feel bad (not that I think

	 	you will), but just because I feel vulnerable.  I really

	 	want to hear more about what happened to you, Jed,

	 	what it was that made you lock up your heart.  And for-

	 	give me for this, but I guess I 'm glad you did because

	 	that meant that I got to be the one to see it being

	 	unlocked.  Oh, I could go on and on, but I'mjust totally

	 	exhausted-a long and tiring weekend.  So until we

	 	chat" again.  

	 	Love,

Maggie  

	*	Next she opened Rebecca's message and quickly read, her

	 	eyes almost refusing to stay open until she reached the end.  

HeyMC:  

	 	No, I gave up calling men back in junior high school.  

	 	And, no, it has nothing to do with not being liberated.  

	 	I just enjoy being pursued, and if other women wish

	 	to call their men, it's fine by me.  Now, tell me, how did

	*	it go with this Cohn Byers?  Yes, I do know the name.  

	 	He's quite rich, but according to my sources, somewhat

	 	unstable.  (And between you and me, he may have

	 	some pending lawsuits...)  I strongly suggest you stay

	 	away from this onel And what's the deal about Jed

	 	putting your relationship with him on hold"?  I don't

	 	get that.  If your mystery man is serious about this rela-

	 	tionship, then what's the problem?  Maybe he's one of

	 	those guys who are deathly afraid of certain "C"

	 	word~ommitment. I've known a few of them in my
 

	Looking for You AliMy Life	175

time.  Watch out, Mag, you could be wasting your time

on him.  I laughed out loud when I read your match-

making thoughts about me and little brother Barry

Although, I must admit I've always thought he was

very sweet and cute.  Can't believe some smart girl

has n't grabbed that one up yet, but I can't imagine that

he and I would find much in common either-and we

live a lifetime apart.  Just the same, I'm really looking for-

ward to sharing some good times and laughs with you

guys at Christmas.  Can't wait to catch up.  Hey you got

any snow there yet?  I better not be packing my skis for

nothing See you in a couple weeks.  

RB  

F  
  
 aggie asked Gavin not to come into the office until

she had had a chance to inform Clyde of her plan

to hire his nephew.  Then she'd call Gavin when

the coast was clear.  But to her dismay, even after several min-

utes of persuasive pleading, Clyde remained stubborn and

resistant to the idea.  

"It's one thing for Gavin to come out here and apolo-

gize," he declared.  "But I don't know why he thinks we

should give him a job."  

"As I said, it was my idea, Clyde.  And you know as well

as anyone that we really need someone to sell ad space, not

to mention help with a dozen other little odd jobs that have

gone undone around here on a regular basis."  She glanced

at an overflowing trash can sitting right next to the door.  

"I'll get to that," he growled.  "Do you seriously think

Gavin would lower himself to take out the trash around

here?"  

"I think he should have a chance to try."  

"He's had chances!"  

She folded her arms and glared at him.  "Clyde, you told

me when you first hired me that running this newspaper is  

177  
	178	Melody Carlson

my responsibility.  Does that or does that not mean I may hire

whomever I please?"  

Clyde looked at the floor, then grumbled without

answering.  That's when she knew she had him.  

"I say we give him a chance."  Then she grinned slyly.  

"Besides, it's not like we have to pay him in advance, you

know.  If he doesn't work out, the least we'll get is a little free

labor-that should make you happy.  And if we're not satis-

fied with his work, we'll just send him packing, okay?"  

"You ever hear that story about the camel who sticks his

nose in the tent to get warm?  Before you know it, the whole

durned animal is inside the tent and there's not room for

you!"  

She waved her hand at him.  "Don't you worry, I'll take

full responsibility for Gavin.  If it doesn't work out, you can

blame it all on me."  

He made a noise that sounded like "hrutr.ph," and then

shook his head.  "You can be mighty stubborn when you set

your mind to something, young lady."  

"Isn't that why you hired me?"  She playfully poked him

in the chest and saw a faint twinkle in his eye.  

"Yeah, and I suppose it's a good thing too because I heard

we've got us a big battle coming up with those development

boys.  I never did hear the whole story of how your little visit

went with Mr. Big Bucks."  

She told him all about Desert Winds and her disap-

pointing findings there.  "I've got my story and photos all

ready for this week's paper, but I honestly wish I could've

come back with better news."  

He rubbed his hands together.  "Well, let's give 'em what

for, Maggie.  I'm ready for a good fight."  

She sighed.  "I'm sure we'll get one after this week's paper

comes out."  

He chuckled.  "Yep, that's what this business is all about."  

"You know, with your love of controversy, you should've

run a big-city newspaper, Clyde."  
	Looking for YouAllMy Life	179

He considered this, then he shook his head.  "Nope, then

I would've missed out on a whole lot of good fishing and

hunting.  The way I see it, I got me the very best of both

worlds."  

Back in her office, Maggie called Gavin and told him to

report for work.  They agreed that office space might be

unnecessary to start with as selling ads could be done by

phone or by visiting the businesses.  For now he would use

the mobile phone and keep track of his mileage, and perhaps

if things went well, they'd eventually set up an office for him.  

Besides, Maggie figured this arrangement would keep Gavin

out of Clyde's hair for the time being.  Gavin told her that

he'd already called a car dealership in Byron that was inter-

ested in helping him to trade down in vehicles.  He hoped to

get a fair amount of cash for his big sports utility vehicle and

still afford a small economy car.  "I'm willing to do whatever

it takes to make it here," he assured her.  "I want you to

know I'll begin looking for a place to rent in town as soon

as possible."  

"It sounds as though you're off to a good start.  Come in

sometime this afternoon, and Abigail will get you set up with

everything you'll need."  

Just as Maggie was winding down for the day, Jed

stopped by her office.  She tried to conceal her pleasure as she

closed the door behind him.  Inviting him to sit, she admired

his squared shoulders and straight posture.  He wore a soft

suede vest, and she tried to remember if it was the same one

he'd had on the first time she'd seen him last spring.  She

studied his even features as she sat back down behind her

desk.  Perhaps after her last email message he had decided to

end their little "break."  Then she noticed that his expression

seemed different today.  Something seemed to be troubling

him.  Whatever it was, she felt ready to face it.  She smiled

hopefully and leaned across her desk in anticipation.  
	180	Melody Carlson

"How are you doing?"  she asked finally.  

"I'm okay, I guess."  He pressed his lips together as if con-

sidering how to begin his next sentence.  "How are you

doing?"  The way he spoke the words seemed to imply he

was inquiring about more than just her health and well-

being, but she wasn't sure how best to answer.  

"Oh, I don't know..."  She looked to him for some sort

of clue.  "Did you get my email last night?"  She smiled again.  

He shook his head.  "No, I haven't even turned on my

computer today.  Look, something's really bugging me right

now.  I guess I need to ask you what you are doing."  

Now she felt thoroughly confused.  "What do you

mean?"  

He stood now, and began to pace in front of her desk.  

"I'm getting kind of confused here, Maggie.  I mean, I'm

trying to believe the best in you.  And even when I saw you

having dinner with Cohn Byers, I kept telling myself to take

it easy, that it was nothing more than business.  And then I

got that email from you and felt like everything was okay."  

He stopped pacing and looked at her.  "Did you get my

email?"  

"Yes!  And it was  

"I don't really want to talk about that right now."  He

sighed deeply and then went on.  "Anyway, the next thing I

know, Leah is telling me how you've flown off with Cohn

Byers, in his private jet for a weekend down in Vegas-"  

"Now, wait a minut~" She rose from her chair.  

"Please, Maggie, let me finish.  This isn't easy for me to

say.  First all this stuff with Cohn Byers, and now I hear that

Gavin Barnes has come to live with you.  Will you please tell

me what is going on?"  

She blinked in surprise.  "Hold on a minute, Jed.  You had

better get your facts straight before you come in here and

start making accusations."  

"That's why I came.  I want to hear the facts."  

She felt flustered, not even sure where to begin.  "Did

Leah tell you all this?"  
	Looking for You All My Life	181

"Not everything.  I saw you with my own eyes at the

hotel, remember?"  

"Yes.  But you knew it was only business  

"That's what I told myself, and it wasn't easy with Bar-

bara carrying on about how great you two looked

together-"  

"But Jed, you know-"  

He held up his hands as if to stop her words.  "Look, I

really didn't come in here to tell you how to live.  And maybe

I'm butting in right now, but I really thought..  .we had some-

thing..."  She heard the break in his voice, but before she

could say a word, he continued, this time with a stony

expression and steel in his words.  "But I have to say, as

Leah's father, that I think it's completely unacceptable for

you to invite a strange man to come live in your home while

she's there.  I'm sure you know that all this has been very

upsetting to her~"  

Maggie felt as if she'd been slapped, and all of her

defenses sprang into action.  "But I talked to Leah about it

just last night, and she said it was fine.  Besides, Gavin has

really changed, Jed, you should talk to him.  And not only

that, but my mother's there most of the time, and Spencer

too.  I don't see how it would be much different if we were

running a bed-and-breakfast..."  Her voice faltered and she

knew by his flat expression that her reasoning was lost on

him.  Was this jealousy?  Or hurt?  Or simply an overly pro-

tective father trying to shield his daughter?  Whatever it was,

it felt narrow-minded and unfair.  

"It's just not right, Maggie."  His features softened a little

now.  "Can't you see that?  Leah feels really uncomfortable

there now."  

She was too irritated to answer rationally.  "Well, what do

you suggest, Jed?  Should I just throw Gavin out onto the

street?"  

"If Michael wasn't staying out at my place, I'd suggest

that Leah come and live out there, but you know how small

it is.  I only have two bedrooms."  
	182	Melody Carlson

"Well, maybe you'd like to trade," she said sarcastically,

his words of accusation still stinging.  "Why not have

Michael come stay at my house?  Then Leah could go live

with you."  

"You know, that's not such a bad idea.  I think it might

work."  

Maggie sank into her chair and stared at him with unbe-

lieving eyes.  Who was this man?  And how had she ever sup-

posed that he loved her?  Or she him?  "Fine," she said in a

subdued voice, looking down at her desk.  "Whatever makes

Leah happy."  

"I'm not trying to placate her, Maggie.  I'm just trying to

be a good dad."  

She felt tears burning in her eyes, and she was determined

not to let him see how much his words had wounded her.  His

choice seemed clear; Leah was more important.  It's under-

standable, she thought hopelessly.  After all, if she had to

choose between Spencer and Jed, there would be no contest.  

But why did they have to choose at all?  

For a few moments neither one of them spoke.  She

couldn't bring herself to look into his eyes.  "If that's all set-

tled, I have work to do," she said in gruff voice, sticking out

her chin and pretending to focus on the papers before her.  

She waited until she heard the door close quietly behind him

before she allowed the tears to flow freely.  

She called home to tell them she'd be working late

tonight.  As usual, her mother was understanding, glad to

start dinner and generally hold down the fort.  By the time

Maggie got home, Michael was already there, situated in

Leah's old room.  She learned that Jed had brought him over

after work, and then he'd helped Leah pack up her things

and had taken her home with him.  

"It all happened so quickly," explained Audrey.  "But

Leah seemed determined to leave tonight.  I suppose she's just

eager to live with her dad-maybe it will feel more like her

own home."  

Maggie shrugged.  "I thought she felt at home here."  
	Looking for You AilMy Life	183

"Well, there's nothing quite like your own kin," said

Audrey, giving her daughter a warm squeeze.  "I wouldn't

give it a second thought, honey."  

"Yeah, it's not like we still don't have a pretty full house."  

"I'm wondering if you're starting to run a boardinghouse

after all," said Audrey wryly as she led Maggie into the

kitchen.  "Look, I saved some of my special vegetable beef

soup for you.  I'll bet you're hungry."  

"I guess so."  She dumped her briefcase onto the kitchen

table and sighed loudly.  

"Is there something else going on here that I should be

aware of?  I couldn't help but notice that Jed seemed a little

grim when he was making the switch tonight.  And he said

the two of them probably wouldn't be able to make it to

dinner tomorrow.  He said he's got a lot to do to get ready for

that furniture show."  

She suddenly felt very weary.  "Well, I suppose we can still

have Barbara over anyway, if you'd like."  

"Sure, why not?  You know, I met her at church on

Sunday while you were in Nevada.  She seems quite nice.  

Maggie took her soup and bread to the library and sat

down in front of what was left of the fire.  "Did Gavin and

Michael eat dinner with you and Spencer?"  

Audrey nodded.  "Yes, me and the boys.  It was actually

kind of fun.  You know, I think I might enjoy running a

boardinghouse, or bed-and-breakfast, or whatever you want

to call it."  

Maggie smiled.  Maybe it was the soup, but she was

feeling a little better.  "You know you'd be great at it, Mom.  

By the way, this soup is really good.  I'm so glad you're

around to help out.  I really appreciate it."  

Audrey beamed in surprise.  "Well, I must admit, it's nice

to be needed."  

"Where's everybody else?"  

"Spence and Daniel hobbled out to the barn to make

music.  They weren't too happy to see Leah leave.  Looks like

they're back to being a duet again."  She glanced up at the  
	4184	Melody Carison

clock.  "Actually, Daniel's grandpa should be picking him up

any minute now.  I'm not sure what Michael's up to.  Maybe

unpacking, although he only had one bag."  

"I hope he doesn't feel like Jed threw him out."  

"No, not at all.  He seemed happy to be here.  And he

seemed to hit it off with Gavin too.,,  

"What's Gavin up to?"  

"He said he had some work to do upstairs, but that was

after he helped me in the kitchen.  You know, after all I'd

heard about Gavin Barnes, I never expected that he'd be such

a nice person."  

"He really seems to have changed."  

"Excuse ~ Michael poked his head in the doorway.  

"Oh, I am sorry.  I did not know you were eating."  

"No.  It's okay.  I'm just finishing up.  Come in and sit

down, Michael.  I haven't had a chance to talk to you for a

while, and I've been wondering how you are doing.  Are you

staying warm enough these days?"  

He smiled.  "I am finally getting adjusted."  Then his dark

eyes registered concern.  "But I am worried that I may have

mixed things up for you, Maggie.  Is everything all right?  Jed

said that Leah must come stay with him and that I must stay

here.  Is that what you want too?"  

Maggie nodded.  "Sure, I'm happy to have you come stay

with us, Michael."  She wondered how to explain this com-

plicated scenario, and finally decided just to tell it like it was.  

"You see, Jed was worried about Leah's welfare because I

invited Gavin to stay here at my house.  I guess I never con-

sidered that it could present a problem.  I felt sorry that

Gavin had no place to stay and...and I think you'll under-

stand this, Michael, because it's what you said about how

when we do things for people who are in need, we're doing

them for Jesus.  Well, it just seemed right to offer Gavin a

place to stay until he's able to get a place of his own.  Does

that make any sense?"  She knew she was probably telling

him way too much, but he was such a good listener; so easy  
 

	Looking for You All My Life	185

to talk to, and before she finished his eyes lit with under-

standing.  

"I think you have done exactly the right thing, Maggie.  

Already Gavin has told me about how much of his life has

been wasted.  And he told me about how he is changing.  You

have helped him.  That is a very good thing."  

She smiled weakly.  "Really?  You think so?"  

He nodded with enthusiasm.  "Yes!  The Bible says that

when we give someone help, or food, or a place to sleep, or

any other kindness, it is like we are giving itto Jesus.  That is

a very good thing."  

She sighed.  "Yes.  That's what I thought too.  I'm just sorry

that the whole thing upset Leah.  But I'm glad you get to stay

with us, Michael.  I hope you'll make yourself at home."  

Michae l's words were a real comfort, and yet she still felt

sadly deflated as she prepared for bed. She checked her

email, only to confirm her certainty that Jed hadn't answered

her latest heartfelt message-oh, how she wished she could

retrieve it back from cyberspace!  She couldn't even

remember exactly what she'd written, she'd been so tired at

the time.  Perhaps after what happened today, he wouldn't be

checking his email so regularly anymore.  

That whole episode with him in her office had shaken her

badly.  She knew her reactions had been strong and probably

as harmful as his, but then what could he expect?  She won-

dered again if perhaps he simply wasn't the man she'd

thought he was.  Rebecca had insinuated as much in her last

email message.  Or perhaps Jed didn't actually love her, not

the way she loved him.  Maybe it was all for the best to find

these things out now before their relationship progressed, or

digressed, any further.  On the other hand, perhaps this was

all just a great, big misunderstanding; a problem that could

be resolved with some serious effort from both of them.  

Maybe she should just give the whole thing some time to

cool down and sort itself out.  She tried to take comfort in

Shakespeare's words, "The course of true love never did run

smooth."  Besides, she chided herself, didn't she have enough  
	186	Melody Carlson

on her plate right now?  Here she was running the paper and

what suddenly appeared to be a boarding house for home-

less men.  Not to mention she had guests coming for

Christmas.  She looked at the days of December left on her

calendar and actually gasped.  Why, she hadn't even taken

the time to do her Christmas shopping yet!  

Barbara Harris came to dinner the following night, and

while Leah and Jed were missed, the others still enjoyed a

pleasant evening.  It was plain to see that Barbara was

growing quite fond of young Michael.  She even mentioned

how she saw a lot of her Steven in him, jokingly saying that

she just might adopt him as her own son.  

"I was so impressed with Michael's sermon on Sunday,"

she continued as they ate their dessert.  "I think he has a rare

gift; I, for one, have never been quite so touched by a church

service before."  

Michael smiled, then spoke with sincere humility.  "If you

were touched, Mrs. Harris, it was by the hand of God, not

my feeble words."  

a "Well, while I've never considered myself to be much of

God-fearing person, I do think that God must be speaking  

through you somehow," she said with conviction.  "Tell me,

what are your long-term plans, Michael?  How long do you

think you'll stay in Pine Mountain?"  

"Until God tells me to go somewhere else.  Or," he

laughed, "until there are no more unbelievers left to preach

the good news to."  

Gavin had been very quiet during all this talk of religion,

but finally he spoke up.  "I've never been one to think much

about God, one way or another," he admitted.  "That is, until

I decided to quit drinking.  In my rehab program, they told

us to look to a higher being for help.  I thought it was just a

big gimmick at first, but then I wasn't having any real suc-

cess on my own either.  So I finally asked God to help me, and  
	Looking for You All My Life	187

I can't even explain what happened, but it was amazing, and

that's when things really began to change for me."  

"So do you believe in God now?"  asked Michael, his eyes

glowing with excitement.  

"I think so."  Gavin seemed a little uneasy.  "But I don't

really know what to do about it.  I mean, is that all I need to

do?  Just believe in God and then go about my business trying

to live right and be good and everything?"  

Michael smiled.  "That is just the beginning, my brother.  

If you want to talk to me about the next steps, I would be

most happy to share what I know with you."  

"I might just take you up on that."  

"Good," said Michael.  

"Did you know that Michael prayed for snow," said

Spencer suddenly, "and the next day it snowed six inches!"  

"Really?"  exclaimed Barbara.  

Gavin laughed.  "Maybe he'd better pray again.  From

what I'm hearing already, the business community could

really use it."  

"Maggie," said Barbara as if suddenly remembering

something, "I read your newspaper from cover to cover

today.  It was very nicely done, I might add.  There's quite a

lot going on in Pine Mountain these days."  Then she glanced

uncomfortably at Michael.  "But that story about the Ebbert

family was rather frightening, don't you think?  Do you sup-

pose they're very dangerous?"  

"I don't know.  It's hard to understand those kind of

people."  

"I read the story about Randy Ebbert too," said Michael

gently.  "And I have made him number one on my prayer list.  

But you must know that there are people like him every-

where.  There will always be those who hate others because

they are different.  It will never stop until they learn to think

differently themselves."  His voice grew dramatic.  "For

instance, in my village, there was a group of men who hated

us because we were Christian.  Certainly our skin was the

same color as theirs, but their hate became like a big wall  
	188	Melody Carison

between us.  But in time, we learned how to break down that

wall."  

"How?"  asked Maggie.  

"With love."  He smiled.  "Instead of getting angry or

demanding retribution for the mean things they would do,

we did what Jesus said to do.  We chose to love our enemies.  

We prayed for those men who tried to destroy us.  And, in

time, every single one of them became believers.  All, except

for one.  Bilami-he was a very angry man.  He finally gave

up and moved from the island to live in another village, but

we sadly learned that he died within that very same year."  

"That's a cool story," said Spencer.  "I don't know why

you couldn't be the preacher at church every Sunday."  

Michael laughed.  "Thank you, but I do not wish to take

the pulpit away from any of your leaders.  I am content to

simply do whatever God has for me to do.  I know I have

come here for God's purpose, and that is enough for me."  

"But what if part of that purpose is to lead a church?"  

suggested Barbara.  

Michael folded his hands in his lap.  "Then God will have

to show that to me."  
 udrey tried to talk Maggie into taking Thursday

morning off to do some Christmas shopping in

Byron with her.  "Look, honey, you gave up your

whole weekend last week for work, and you work half your

evenings.  You know what they say about all work and no

play.  Christmas shopping is the least you can do for your-

self."  Audrey was determined to win this argument.  "Come

on, Maggie, you need to get out and relax a little.  Have some

fun.  I'll even take you to lunch at that new restaurant Eliza-

beth Rodgers has been raving about."  

"Okay," said Maggie finally, throwing her hands up in

surrender.  "You win, Mom.  Actually, it does sound won-

derful.  Besides, I'm expecting to be lambasted by TS Devel-

opment about my article today, and I'm sure not looking

forward to that."  

"So, why not put off the inevitable and have a good

time?"  

And that's just what they did.  Audrey was familiar with

Byron, and in just a few hours they managed to hit all the

best shopping spots.  At their last stop, a Northwest gift

shop, Maggie discovered a beautiful collection of inlaid  

189  
	190	Melody Carlson

wood pocketknives she felt certain Jed would appreciate.  She

selected her favorite and bought it.  

"Who's that for?"  asked Audrey as the woman wrapped

it up.  

Maggie shrugged, unwilling to admit that it was for Jed

in light of their recent disagreement.  "Oh, I don't know.  

We'll see...  

Her mother nodded knowingly.  "It's always good to have

a few spare gifts on hand.  Did you see the handmade sweater

I got for Barry?"  

They compared their purchases at lunch.  Elizabeth had

been right on target about the restaurant.  Situated in a beau-

tifully restored Craftsman house, it was set up like an old-

fashioned tearoom with antique tables and chairs on

hardwood floors.  And fresh flowers, white linen, and deli-

cate china graced each table.  The restaurant was renowned

for its delectable deserts, but its menu also included light

lunches-perfect for shoppers.  

"Have you talked to Jed lately?"  asked Audrey as they

studied the carefully handwritten menus.  

the Maggie knew it was time to tell her mother exactly what

status of their relationship was.  To her surprise, it was  

almost a relief to relate the whole miserable story of how

he'd recently confronted her about Gavin staying at her

house.  

"It sounds as if he's jealous," commented Audrey as she

sipped her tea.  

Maggie shook her head sadly.  "Maybe.  But I think he's

mostly just concerned about Leah's welfare."  

"I don't know.  It seems to me he may have been hurt

more deeply than that."  Audrey looked intently at Maggie.  

"Now, honey, don't take this wrong, but sometimes I'm not

sure that you understand where Jed is coming from."  

"Andyoudo?"  

Her mother smiled.  "Let's just say I see him from a dif-

ferent angle.  For instance, do you consider Jed to be inse-

cure?"  
	Looking for YouAllMy Life	191

"Not really."  

"See, there."  Audrey sounded as if she'd made her point.  

"I happen to think that he is.  In fact, I suspect that some-

where along the line, that man has had his heart broken-

and maybe badly."  

Maggie remembered his words in the email.  "Actually,

you're probably right about that.  How did you know?"  

"It was just a guess, but I'd be willing to lay odds on it."  

Maggie studied her mother curiously.  "I only learned of

this recently, and I still don't have any details.  Are you telling

me that you suspected this all along?"  

She nodded smugly.  

"But what makes you think so?"  

"Well, think about it, Maggie.  He's extremely attractive,

very intelligent, and basically a really good person.  Why do

you suppose he's never married?"  

"Because the right woman never came along?"  suggested

Maggie weakly.  

"What makes you so sure?  Have you ever asked him?"  

"Well, no..  .1 guess I just assumed that if anyone did the

heartbreaking, it would've been Jed.  I mean, take Kate, for

instance.  I think he broke her heart."  

Audrey waved her hand in dismissal.  "I think Kate was

only slightly wounded, and Buckie's done a good job of

fixing her up."  

"I suppose you could be right.  But what does that have

to do with anything?"  

"Well, it stands to reason that if Jed had his heart broken

once, he could be somewhat insecure when it comes to a

relationship where his heart is deeply involved again.  Like

with you."  

Maggie nodded hopefully.  "He almost said as much."  

"And he may need some extra encouragement and bol-

stering to take some risks in this area.  And you need to

remember that your independence might send a wrong mes-

sage.  He could be assuming that you aren't as interested as  
	192	Melody Carlson

he is.  And then add to that how there seem to be a lot of

other men around you, and the whole thing might make him

feel like he can't trust you.  And that might be why he comes

across the way he does."  

"I..  .1 hadn't really looked at it like that."  

"Well, try to put yourself in his shoes.  How would you

feel if he'd flown off for a weekend with an attractive female

client?  And then taken in another attractive female boarder?"  

Maggie's eyes opened wide.  "Wow, I see what you

mean!"  

"So, you just might want to cut the poor man a little

slack."  

"I suppose so.  But what about this whole thing about

putting our relationship on hold?"  

"You must know that Jed only did that out of concern for

Leah, not because he loved you any less."  

"But how can you be so sure, Mom?"  

don't know.  Just a gut feeling, I guess."  

"I  

"Well, you've certainly given me some things to think

about."  Maggie smiled hopefully.  

For the remainder of lunch, they made lists and plans for

Christmas and ways to entertain their guests.  Thankfully,

Audrey was more than happy to carry much of the load of

the preparations.  "You know I love this sort of thing,

Maggie."  

"Well, I don't know what I'd do without you, Mom."  

"Until I get that library off the ground, it's nice to have

things to keep me busy.  Oh, by the way, do you want me to

take Spencer in to get his cast off tomorrow?"  

"Is it time for that already?  Yes, I'd appreciate that.  Poor

Spence has been complaining about his foot itching like

crazy lately.  I'll bet he's already waxing his snowboard.  Now,

if only we could get another good dump of snow!  I've

promised both Barry and Rebecca that we'll spend a day or

two on the slopes."  

"And I'd love to see a white Christmas."  
	Looking for You All My Life	193

"Well, there's still plenty of time."  She glanced at her

watch.  "Speaking of which, I had better get back to the old

grind stone."  

"But aren't you glad you decided to take some time off

and come shopping with me?"  asked Audrey as they finished

their desserts of creme caramel custard.  

"Yes, it was really fun.  We should do this more often,

Mom."  

"Now you can go back to face the inevitable."  

Maggie rolled her eyes.  "Oh, boy, I can hardly wait."  

She had barely stepped into the reception area when the

onslaught began.  "Greg Snider's been by twice already,"

reported Abigail with exasperation, "and he's acting like he

owns the world too!"  

"Randy Ebbert stopped in as well," added Scott as he

held up a flyer.  "He delivered an official notice announcing

the birth of his new newspaper, the Conservative Code.  

Don't know what the code stands for.  Maybe it's a secret

handshake for members only or a special swastika ring."  

"And Cohn Byers asked that you return his call as soon

as you step in," said Abigail with a deep sigh.  "He's called

several times already, and for the gentleman that you

described, he sounded slightly rude-if you ask me."  

Maggie ran a hand through her hair.  "I'll bet he's already

read the Pine Cone from our website.  Oh man, I can hardly

wait for that conversation.  My guess is he'll bring in one of

his high-powered attorneys to scare us a little."  

"Oh, I almost forgot," called Scott just as she was trying

to slip into her office.  

"Now what?"  

"Actually, this has nothing to do with business," he

began somewhat apologetically.  "And it's probably the very  
	194	Melody Carison

worst timing on my part, but I promised.  You see, Chloe

wants to know if we can get married in your house.  

Maggie stared at him speechiessly.  

He laughed self-consciously.  "I told her I thought you had

your hands full right now, but she was so upset last night

that I promised her I'd ask you the moment I saw you today.  

Feel free to say no, Maggie.  I know it's a lot to ask anyone.  

I mean it's crazy, really."  

"But why?  I thought you were going to get the hotel or

the church.  And it's such late notice-don't you have your

invitations printed already?"  

"We thought we could get the hotel, but we hadn't nailed

it.  Then we found out last night that Brian and Cindy had

Ialready invited a bunch of their Seattle friends for a big New

Year's Eve bash.  It's their way to drum up some business, I

guess, especially since this year's ski season is looking so

gloomy right now.  And then, of course, Jed's shutting down

the church-"  

"Shutting down the church?"  She was incredulous.  "I

hadn't heard that."  

"Yeah, it kind of surprised me too.  But that's what he told

my dad yesterday.  It's always been pretty inconvenient for

folks to get up there, especially during the winter months,

and as a result they end up missing a lot of Sundays because

of the snow and ice and bad weather.  Anyway, he told Dad

he thinks it's time to turn the building back into a house like  

he'd always planned to.  I guess now that his daughter's living

there he needs more room.  Can't say that I blame him either.  

Man, what I'd give to have a place like that for Chloe and

me."  

She didn't know what to say.  "Well, let me talk to my

mom about the wedding idea, Scott.  I would really need her

cooperation to do something like this."  

"Really?"  His dark eyes grew wide.  "You mean you'd

consider doing this?"  
	Looking for You All My Life	195

"Of course I would."  She couldn't help smiling at him.  

Maybe a wedding would brighten up some of the gloom that

seemed to be descending upon her.  "My mom's going all out

to make things really special for the Christmas holidays-

and by New Year's Eve, well, our guests will all be gone

anyway, so we might as well make the most of all her

cleaning and sprucing up, right?  That is, if she's not totally

exhausted by then."  

"Mom and Sierra and Chloe will take care of all the food

and decorations.  Audrey won't have to lift a finger, I

promise.  And you know how Mom is such an organizer and

all.  And we'll only invite a small group of friends and family;

Chloe and I want a very casual and intimate wedding.  We're

not even sure if her folks are coming yet-they're so put off

about the whole thing.  Chloe says they think if they don't

cooperate with us on the wedding that they can keep us from

getting married, but when they see how serious we are,

they'll probably come."  

"For Chloe's sake, I hope she's right.  Okay, I'll talk with

my mom tonight and get back to you as soon as I know

something for sure."  

"Thanks, Maggie.  It means a lot that you're even con-

sidering this.  We've thought about going to Reno-you

know, one of those cheesy little chapels where you get mar-

ried by an Elvis look-alike or something."  

"Don't do that yet!  And honestly, I feel honored that you

asked, Scott.  It sounds like it would be a whole lot of fun,

but I'd like to get my mom fully on board first."  

The phone rang, and Abigail nodded to Maggie as she

spoke into the receiver.  "Oh, hello again, Mr. Byers.  I'm not

sure if she's in yet.  Hold on and I'll check."  

"I'll take it in my office," Maggie answered firmly.  "Just

give me a few seconds to brace myself."  

"Don't let him get to you," encouraged Scott.  "All you

did was print the truth.  If he can't handle it, that's his

problem."  
196 ~ Melody Carlson  

She sat down, took a deep breath, and then picked up the

receiver.  "This is Maggie."  

"So this is the way you repay me for all my cooperation?"  

"I told you from the beginning, Cohn, I wanted to report

truthfully.  And that's exactly what I did-"  

"What I want to know is, where did you get all your so-

called information from?  Though I think I have a pretty

good idea."  

"My sources, as always, remain confidential.  And if you

read the article carefully, I'm sure you'll find that I didn't

print a single word that was untrue."  

I"I wouldn't be so sure.  Our lawyers are already looking

into it very carefully."  

"I was sure they would.  Did you notice how I praised

your club facilities and your lovely golf course-"  

"If you think saying that, and I quote, 'the lush greens of

the golf course are a sharp contrast to the thirsty residents

with no running water due to a dried-up well' is praise,

you're Out of your mind.  And who told you our well had run

dry?"  

"I happened to overhear a chagrined homeowner trying

to get a room in the hotel so his wife could take a shower.  

And they were refused a room, although I later learned there

were plenty available.  I didn't even print that in my article.  

Admit it, Cohn, all is not well in Desert Winds."  

I"You are a mean and spiteful woman, Ms. Carpenter.  

Believe me, you haven't heard the end of this yet."  

She sighed.  "I didn't figure I had.  Take care, Mr. Byers."  

Then she hung up.  That mean and spiteful part stung just a

little.  Was printing the truth about how a poorly done devel-

opment could adversely affect an entire community mean

and spiteful?  She didn't think so.  

"Excuse me," said Abigail as she cracked open the door.  

"I saw you were off the line with Mr. Byers, and while you

were still fuming over him, I thought you might as well take

a look at these."  She held out several letters.  
	Looking for YouAllMy Life	197

"Let's get it over with," said Maggie.  "Are they pretty

bad?"  

Abigail frowned deeply.  "It appears that some business

owners think that bad development is better than no devel-

opment at all~specially when the weather isn't cooper-

ating."  She glanced out the window at the clear blue sky.  

"Anyway, here's a real cranky one from Cal-no big surprise

there.  That man has absolutely no taste anyway.  And then

here's one from the hardware store owner.  Of course, he'd

support something like this-he stands to profit from all

those irate homeowners beating a regular path to his door

for all their household repair items."  

Maggie chuckled over this as she fingered through the

small stack.  "Good point.  It looks like we've got all the con-

tractors ganging up on us about this too.  I'm sure they think L

with all the potential construction going on that they'll get a

piece of the pie. But the way Cohn Byers goes in for cheap

and sometimes illegal labor, I'm afraid they're barking up the

wrong tree."  She made a note.  "The next article should

probably address the whole labor issue more directly.  That

might make the contractors think twice about supporting a

venture like this."  

"Good thinking," agreed Abigail.  "A lot of these guys are

uni on too.  I'm surprised they haven't considered these things

already."  

"Well, who knows what kind of promises Greg and Rick

are making right now."  

"Did you hear Greg has officially quit his postmaster

job?"  

"No.  I hope he's not sorry about that later.  

"I also heard he's already flattened and removed all the

old buildings from his folks' property.  Everything's in the

process of being surveyed for the streets and utilities.  And I

heard if the weather holds out, they might start working on

it right away."  
	198	Melody Carlson

Maggie groaned.  "There seems to be no real way of stop-

ping them, but at least we can put up a good fight.  Say, Abi-

gail, would you give Mr. Westerly's niece, Jeanette, a call?"  

She wrote down the number and handed itto her.  "Find Out

if she's learned anything from their lawyer yet, even though

I assume that because we haven't heard from her they

haven't uncovered anything to make a difference."  

Suddenly Abigail sat up straight in her chair.  "You know,

a letter came today.  It looked like some sort of government

thing, but not that interesting compared to all this local

riffraff.  I figured it could wait until later, but now I'm won-

dering..."  

Maggie followed her out to the reception area, and then

waited while Abigail slit it open.  She smiled as she handed it

over.  "It's from the EPA, and I'm guessing they read your

wetland issues article that I sent."  

Maggie quickly skimmed the letter and then let out a

whoop.  "They're sending an investigative team as soon as

they can mobilize!"  

"Wonderful!"  

"What is it?"  asked Scott.  

Just as Maggie was about to read the letter out loud,

Gavin stepped in.  ''You better listen to this too, Gavin.''  

Then she read about how much their organization appreci-

ated thoughtful journalism like hers that brought these issues

to light, and how it took everyone working together to pre-

serve important lands that were becoming more and more

rare and endangered.  

"Way to go, Maggie," exclaimed Gavin.  "You'll be

pleased to hear that some of the local businesses are behind

you a hundred percent in your stand against TS Develop-

ment now that they read your latest investigative report.  Not

all of them, of course, but some.  I actually sold some ad

1:space today.  

"Good for you!"  Maggie patted him on the back.  
	Looking for You AIlMy Life	199

"Thanks.  By the way, I have an idea I'd like to discuss

with you and my uncle.  Do you think we could all meet for

dinner tomorrow night at the hotel?  My treat."  

"Sure, if you think Clyde is free...  

"Or do you mean willing?"  asked Gavin.  

"Well, you know how he's been lately.  Anyway, he's

already left for the day, but if you like I can invite him first

thing in the morning."  

"It might help to get him there."  

"Can I tell him what this pertains to?"  She was won-

dering herself.  

"Just tell him it's an idea that could help all of Pine

Mountain."  

She brightened.  "Okay, he just might be interested in

that."  
{ n the morning Maggie called Scott into her office.  "I

asked my mother what she thought about hosting your

wedding on New Year's Eve," she began in a serious

tone, her face somber as if to convey unfortunate news.  

He nodded with understanding.  "So, I suppose it was a

little overwhelming for her?"  

"Well, it's pretty last minute, you know."  

"Yeah, I figured it was too much to expect of anybody.  It

was Chloe's idea, really.  But I appreciate your thinking about

it.  I can understand Audrey's reservations-"  

"Are you kidding?  She's totally jazzed about the whole

thing.  My mother absolutely loves weddings-they're her

favorite event on the entire earth.  It's her Italian roots, I

think.  Anyway, she's slightly furious that you've put this

whole thing off until the last minute, and she even suggested

you wait until next New Year's Eve so we could go all out

with a really big bash of a wedding.  Then I told her about

your Reno suggestion, and she threw a complete fit and

demanded that we host the wedding at my house or else!"  

Relief washed over his face.  "I really hated the idea of

trying to get hitched in Reno on New Year's Eve.  I know

Chloe's not that into her family or social functions right now,  

201  
	202	Melody Carlson

but I really do enjoy mine.  And my little brother, Max, is

coming home from the Air Force for the first time since he

enlisted, and I was hoping this could be a really special time

for everyone."  

"It will be.  Go ahead and let your mom and Chloe know,

and tell them my mom will call them sometime today.  She

wants to have a wedding planning meeting tomorrow

Imorning-and won't take no for an answer.  And she also

wanted to know if Chloe has a wedding gown yet."  

By now, Abigail had stuck her head into Maggie's office

and Maggie waved for her to come in.  "Actually, I was won-

dering the very same thing too," said Abigail with a maternal

sort of concern.  

Scott nodded.  "She's going to wear an old turn-of-the-

century gown that was her great~grandmother's.  I haven't

seen it yet, but Chloe says it's absolutely gorgeous.  He

frowned doubtfully.  "I just hope it doesn't fall to pieces

before the night is over."  

"Chloe's smart about these things," said Maggie.  "I'm

sure she knows exactly what she's doing."  

"I was talking to a friend of mine with a  

said Abigail.  "She has some lovely white tea roses that are

budding right now, and should just be starting to open by

then.  They're very old-fashioned and sweet, and they would

make a beautiful bouquet."  

"Maybe you should call Chloe," suggested Maggie.  "Or

better yet, why don't you come to the meeting at my house

tomorrow?"  

Abigail grinned happily.  "I know exactly how Audrey

feels.  I love weddings too!"  

"I think Chloe's in good hands, Scott."  Maggie turned on

her computer.  "And somehow you guys just might be able to

pull this thing off."  
	Looking for You All My Life	203

During her noon hour, Maggie walked over to the fitness

center with plans to work out and hopefully relieve some

stress.  Already this morning she'd been personally presented

with a petition signed by many, though not all, of the local

contractors demanding that the newspaper back down from

its opposition to Pine Mountain Estates or lose their ads to

another paper.  Maggie wondered, were they thinking of the

Conservative Code?  If so, that would make Randy Ebbert

awfully happy.  Maybe he'd call up and thank her.  

It was the first time she'd been in all week, and she was

curious about Cherise's reaction to Greg quitting his post-

master job.  Their marriage already seemed fairly unstable;

adding more financial stress wouldn't help it any.  But

Cherise seemed happier and perkier than ever as she flitted

around helping her customers.  And the fitness center was

busier than usual with nearly a dozen people all working Out

at the same time.  Maggie actually had to wait several times

for the various machines before she could complete her own

workout.  

Just after she finished a quick shower and was about to

leave, Cherise came over to greet her.  "Gosh, I've missed

you, Maggie!  Sorry I didn't get over to say hi to you sooner,

but can you believe how busy it is here?  This is fantastic!"  

"Yes, I'm so glad for you.  That special coupon you had

in the paper last month must really be working."  

"It is!  The timing couldn't be better."  

Maggie nodded as she took a sip from her water bottle.  

"Yes, I suppose with Greg quitting his regular job, you'll

need to make a little more here."  

"Oh, no, that has nothing to do with it."  Cherise's blue

eyes grew larger.  "Didn't you hear the news?"  

"What news?"  

"Greg and I split up," she announced.  Then lowering her

voice to almost a whisper she continued, "I haven't officially

told anyone just yet.  Everyone thinks I'm remodeling the

upstairs in order to expand the fitness center, but I've been

living up there for the past week."  
	204	Melody Carison

	 	"Oh, Cherise.  I'm so sorry.  I didn't know it was that

	 	bad."  

	 	"It's okay, Maggie."  She patted her arm soothingly.  "I

	 	mean, sure, I cried my eyes Out the first couple of days.  But

	 	then I moved all my stuff upstairs and got everything all set-

	 	tled and it wasn't so bad.  Right now I'm having a bathroom

	 	and kitchen installed and it's going to be really cool.  My

	 	mom 5 helping me Out with money for the remodeling, and

	 	in the meantime I just rundown here to take a shower or

	 	whatever.  Really, it's been kind of fun.  To tell you the truth,

	 	I haven't been this happy in a long, long time."  

	 	"Well..."  Maggie didn't know what to say.  "I'm sure

	 	everything will work out."  

	 	"I know you think marriage is real important, and I do

	 	too.  But Greg has always been on my case about something

	 	or other.  According to him, I never do anything right, and

	 	it's not like I didn't try."  

	 	"I know you did."  

	 	"Now that I'm on my own, I just can't believe how free,

	 	andhappy,Ifeel.  Imean,Idomisshimalittle."  She laughed.  

	 	"But only a little.  Hey, you want to come up and see my

	 	place?"  

	 	"Well, sure, but I can't stay too long.  I need to get back

	 	to work pretty soon."  

	 	Cherise led her up a narrow stairway and into a large

	 	loftlike room where in one corner a carpenter was framing

	 	in a wall, and in another corner knelt Sam Galloway, busily

	 	working with some copper pipes.  

	 	"Hey, Sam," called Out Maggie.  "Looks like you're

	 	keeping busy."  

	 	"Hi, Maggie."  Sam stood and smiled.  "I'm trying to get

	 	Cherise all set so she doesn't have to keep running down-

	 	stairs for water."  

	 	"And he's doing a great job too," said Cherise.  "Sam's the

	 	best plumber."  

	 	*"I know, he's had a hand in my house too."  Maggie made

	*	a mental note to quiz Sam about labor union rules and how
	Looking for You All My Life	205

union members would feel about the way that Cohn Byers

developed his properties.  "Don't let us keep you, Sam.  Hey,

by the way, we want Scott and Chloe to have their wedding

at my house."  

Sam let Out a big sigh.  "Rosa will be so relieved.  I swear,

it's been keeping her awake at night, even though I kept

telling her everything would work out."  

"Oh, that's so cool," said Cherise.  "Your house would be

a great spot for a wedding."  

Maggie smiled.  "I can just imagine a bride coming down

our staircase."  She didn't mention that the bride she used to

imagine was none other than herself, with Jed waiting down

below!  

"Anyway, this is going to be the kitchen," said Cherise,

returning their attention to the little tour.  "I want to keep it

sort of open to the rest of the room.  The breakfast bar will

go right here.  And over there, where the carpenter's

pounding, will be my bathroom."  

"I love all these windows," exclaimed Maggie.  "You can

actually see the mountains from up here."  

"I know, isn't it great?"  Then she led Maggie over to

where her bed was arranged, actually a futon, with a folding

floor screen to separate it from the rest of the room.  "That's

my bedroom."  She giggled.  "Pretty campy, huh?"  They went

to another corner where a purple leather sofa was situated

with a large painting of modern art hung behind it.  An area

carpet with splashes of very bold colors was laid diagonally

across the pale wood floor, with several odd pieces of sixties-

style furniture placed at various angles.  Surprisingly, the

overall effect was pleasant and interesting.  

"Cherise, this is really fun," said Maggie.  "It's very-

well, it's very L.A."  

Cherise made a happy squeal.  "That's exactly what I was

going for.  Since you've actually lived in L.A.,  you must know

what you're talking about.  Greg would never in a million

years let me do anything like this in our house.  Everything

there had to go with navy blue and look traditionaL" She  
	206	Melody Carlson

said that word in a deep voice that suggested very boring.  

"For once in my life I just wanted to live in a space that was

light and airy and just plain fun!"  

"Without a doubt, you've managed to accomplish that.  I

really do like it."  

y0~C,~he~rise~ looked intently into Maggie's face.  "Do you think

come over here?  Just to visit, I mean.  You know,  

not to work out, but just for the fun of it?"  

"Sure, why not?  I'd like to do that."  

Cherise smiled triumphantly.  "See!  Greg never really

believed me, I mean, that you were my friend.  Of course, I

know we're really different.  You're all intellectual and smart

and stuff.  And everyone thinks I'm this ditzy airhead.  Greg

always used to say they made blonde jokes up about me."  

"That wasn't very nice.  And it's not true.  Look at you,

Cherise, you run your own business, and it looks to me like

Iyou're doing a pretty good job of it too."  

"Yeah.  I guess I had better get back to my clients."  She

glanced at the workers.  "These guys are supposed to be done

up here sometime after Christmas.  I want you to come back

up then and see how it looks when it's all finished."  

"You can count on it.  In fact, I think we should give you

a housewarming."  

"Oh, that would be so fantastic."  

"Just let me know when you're ready and we'll plan

something."  

	 	Maggie decided to take a mid-afternoon break, as she

	 	planned to stay in town and work until the dinner hour.  

	 	Somehow she'd managed to talk Clyde into joining her and

	 	Gavin at the hotel that evening.  Probably it was just his

	 	curiosity getting the best of him, but she had to admit she

	*	was curious too.  What sort of plan had Gavin conjured up

	*	that could help the whole town?  Maybe, like Michael, he

	 	wanted to pray for snow.  She smiled to herself as she walked
	Looking for You All My Life	207

toward the deli to meet Rosa for coffee.  Michael and Gavin

had spent much of the evening in her parlor last night dis-

cussing "spiritual matters" as Michael put it.  She had over-

heard tidbits of their conversation while sitting in the library

and trying to concentrate on outlining her novel-the novel

she had planned to spend so much quiet time working on

this winter.  What quiet time?  But what had amazed her

most, as she listened to the two men, was Michael's ability

to talk about God to just about anyone, and he did it so

openly and with such ease.  It was really a gift.  Before turning

in to bed, she had complimented him on this ability, and of

course, as always, he gave the credit to God.  Then she asked

him what he thought about Jed's decision to discontinue the

church services up in his beautiful building.  "Jed told me

that he has been thinking about this for some time," Michael

had carefully explained.  "And I agreed with him.  Yes, his

church building is very, very lovely, but it is too far away.  A

church should be located in the center of a village and be a

place where people can come and go with ease.  Jed's church

building was too remote.  And remember, it is only a

building.  The real church is made of people."  Somehow,

when put this way, she could see the sense in the decision.  

For such a young man, Michael was incredibly wise.  

Rosa waved as she walked into the deli.  "Grab a seat,

Maggie, and I'll bring our coffee right over.  I made you a spe-

cial treat."  

The deli was completely deserted.  Probably not so

unusual at this time of day, but dismaying just the same.  

Maggie knew that Rosa badly needed the business, especially

with the holidays and Scott's wedding quickly approaching.  

"Oh, that looks delicious," cooed Maggie as she eyed the

still-steaming slice of the rich nutty dessert.  "How did you

know I adore pecan pie?"  

"Audrey mentioned it this morning when she called to

tell me about the wedding."  Her brown eyes glowed with

happiness.  "Thank you so much, Maggie.  You have no idea

what this means to me."  
	208	Melody Carlson

Maggie smiled sympathetically at her friend.  "Sam said

you'd been pretty worried."  

"Well, those kids had their hearts so set on getting mar-

ried on New Year's Eve, and with Max coming home, it just

seemed so perfect.  But our house is so small..."  She glanced

around the empty room, and then lowered her voice anyway.  

"You see, Scott told me they're trying to keep everything in

their relationship right-you know, like according to the

Bible-and they decided a long engagement would be too

tempting for them, if you know what I mean.  But please

don't repeat this to anyone.  Scott only told me about this last

week."  

"That's so sweet.  I'm glad we can help."  

"Well, it's greatly appreciated.  Chloe was in here at

lunch, and she was so excited.  She thinks you're the greatest.  

I'm sure they'll name their firstborn daughter for you.  

Maggie laughed.  "Goodness, I hope not.  Margaret was a

difficult name to have as a child.  I wouldn't wish it on

anyone."  

"Are you going to meet with us tomorrow?"  

"I wouldn't miss it.  Have they decided who will officiate

the ceremony?"  

"Actually, Scott was thinking about asking Michael.  He

really respects that young man."  

"What a wonderful idea," exclaimed Maggie.  "But can

Michael do it?  I mean legally.  Doesn't he have to be ordained

or licensed?"  

"Apparently, he's already taken care of that.  By the way,

did you know that Sunday will be our last day to gather at

Jed's place for church?"  

"I just heard about his decision, but I didn't know it was

this Sunday."  

Rosa eyed Maggie curiously.  "How are things going with

you two anyway?  I've been trying not to be too nosy, but I

haven't seen you two together for a while, and I've been a

little concerned.  Is everything okay?"  
	Looking for You All My Life	209

Maggie wondered how to explain it.  "I don't know.  You

see, because of Leah, we decided to sort of cool things off for

a while..."  

"Because of Leah?"  

"Jed was worried that she felt left out, you know, and he

wants to be a good dad to her.  Anyway, it almost seems like

we may have cooled things off completely."  

"Sierra told me that Leah had moved out with Jed, and I

wondered what that was all about."  

"Yeah, it was kind of sudden.  Jed was worried about

Gavin staying at my house.  It seemed to be troubling Leah."  

"Actually, I was pretty surprised about that too, Maggie.  

I thought maybe you were losing it altogether.  But then  

Gavin stopped in here wanting to sell me some ad space, and  

I couldn't believe it was him.  My goodness, he has changed!  

Sam said the exact same thing.  Gavin seems to be working  

so hard for the paper.  I was totally astounded."  

"Yes, he's really trying.  And he'll only be staying with me

until he can find a place to rent in town.  It's so wonderful

that he and Michael have really hit it off.  Though I'm sorry

that Leah felt the need to leave, I'm really glad for Gavin to

have this opportunity to get better acquainted with

Michael."  

"God really does work in mysterious ways, doesn't he?"  

"I guess so, now that you mention it.  

They chatted a while longer, getting caught up on all the

latest news on both sides, then Maggie stood to leave.  "Oh,

one more thing," said Rosa suddenly.  "A couple of guys

were in here today-from Salem, they said.  Apparently

they're environmentalists here to check out the wetlands at

Pine Mountain Estates."  Her eyes twinkled.  "I said to them,

'Oh, yes, my husband says you can see all kinds of birds and

waterfowl out there, and that it's really quite special."'  

"You didn't?"  Maggie grinned.  

Rosa nodded smugly.  "Yes, I did.  And they seemed quite

interested."  

"Let me know if you hear anything else, okay?"  
	210	Melody Carlson

"You bet I will."  Rosa adjusted her apron.  "There's no

doubt we need business in this town, and now more than

ever, but we're not that desperate.  I have no desire to see Pine

Mountain selling its soul for a few pieces of silver."  

"I know what you mean."  She shook her head.  "I'm just

not sure if we can stop them."  

"Well, maybe we can at least slow them down and make

them think."  Rosa wiped the table off.  "And after the New  

* Year, we need to schedule another business association  

* meeting."  

"Good idea.  I had been meaning to get together with

Kate to discuss some ideas, but everything has been so hectic

lately."  

Rosa rolled her eyes.  "I don't know if I'd waste my breath

on Kate or Buckie just now.  I've heard them in here, going

on about how this town needs to support TS Development.  

They're so worried about the Blue Moose that I'm afraid

they've completely stepped over into the other camp.  

* Maggie frowned.  "I guess I'm not surprised, although it's

disappointing.  If only people could be patient.  Or if only it

would snow!"  

"I know," agreed Rosa.  "I've been here since the early

eighties and I've never seen a warm spell quite like this."  

"And what a year for it too."  

"But it could change any day," said Rosa with her ever-

present optimism.  

"Here's to change!"  
 hile waiting to join Clyde and Gavin at the hotel,

Maggie went online and began to write an email

to Jed.  It was just a simple note apologizing for

her sharp words and suggesting they should perhaps talk

things over.  But when it came time to hit the "send" button,

she just couldn't do it.  Shouldn't Jed be the one to apologize

to her?  Perhaps these things were meant to be said in person.  

Whatever it was, she just couldn't send the message.  Instead

she hit the cancel button and the message immediately dis-

appeared from her screen.  

Then she immersed herself in her follow-up article about

labor practices and what the town might expect in regard to

hiring practices based upon Cohn Byers' developments in the

past.  She completely lost track of time, and when she finally

looked up at the clock on her desk, it was already a quarter

past six.  She quickly shut down her computer, locked up the

office, and then began to jog the partial block to the hotel on

foot.  She had promised to be there at six sharp, and with

some discomfort she imagined the two men sitting across

from each other in stony silence.  Clyde was probably glaring

at his watch right now and grumbling about where on earth

was she anyway.  And what if Gavin grew so anxious that he  

211  
	212	Melody Carlson

'%;'  

actually broke down and ordered an alcoholic beverage?  She  

	 	increased her pace, glancing around her as she crossed the

	 	deserted street.  The town looked so quaint and welcoming,

	 	all lit up with tiny white lights and Christmas decorations

	*	adorning shop windows.  The old-fashioned lanterns glowed

	* *	warmly.  All that seemed to be missing was the snow-and

	 	visitors, of course.  For the umpteenth time, she shot up a

	 	little prayer for some real winter weather and soon!  Business

	 	matters aside, she thought snow would be a delight.  Besides,

	 	she already had the tires to go with it!  

	 	Then just as she breathlessly reached the entrance of the

	 	hotel, she observed Leah and Jed only a couple steps ahead

	 	of her.  Suddenly her heart began to pound furiously as she

	 	remembered the tone of her last conversation with him in her

	 	office the other day.  Now she longed to say something-

	 	what was it she had written in that nonexistent email?  There

	 	must be some way to smooth this whole silly thing over.  

	 	"Hello," she said weakly as she walked up the steps

	 	behind them, waiting as Jed opened the door for Leah.  

	 	"Maggie?"  He turned in surprise, but for a moment, just

	 	a brief, split second, his eyes seemed pleased.  Then it was

	 	IIgone, and she wondered if it had only been her imagination.  

	 	"How're you guys doing?"  asked Maggie, hoping to

	 	sound cheerful.  

	 	"We're doing fine," said Leah casually.  "How's it going

	 	with you?"  

	 	"Busy," she answered quickly as she walked through the

	 	Idoor now held open by Jed.  Their arms brushed and she felt

	 	certain, even through the thickness of her leather coat, that

	 	she had experienced tingles.  She wondered if he possibly felt

	 	them as well.  "Everything going okay Out at Jed's?"  she

	 	asked Leah, unwilling to look into his eyes.  

	 	"Yeah.  It's so beautiful out there.  Jed and Michael are *

	 	leaving for the furniture show in Seattle tomorrow, so he

	 	offered to take me out for dinner tonight to thank me for

	 	holding the shop together while he's gone."  She smiled up at

	 	him in undisguised admiration.  
	Looking for You All My Life	213

"Oh, that's right," remembered Maggie.  "Michael men-

tioned that last night."  With fresh resolve, she turned and

forced herself to look directly into Jed's eyes.  "I really hope

you have a successful trip, Jed."  

"Thanks, I appreciate it."  The corners of his mouth

curved ~ver so slightly.  "Are you here by yourself?"  he asked

with what seemed concern.  

She wondered what he'd say if she answered in the affir-

mative~h, if only she were here by herself!  Would he per-

haps momentarily put aside all this back-burner business

and invite her to join them?  But she shook her head.  "No,

I'm here to meet with Gavin and Clyde."  His eyes seemed to

flash ever so slightly at the mention of Gavin's name, so she

quickly added, "It's just a little business meeting.  I think

Gavin has some new ideas for the paper.  And just getting him

and Clyde together is no small thing."  She forced a light

laugh.  

"Well, there's Gavin over there."  He nodded across the

room, his expression growing stony and cool.  "We'll let you

get to it then."  

She turned to see Gavin seated at a table in the far corner

of the room.  But he was alone!  Where in the world was

Clyde?  She walked quickly to the table, wondering what Jed

thought of her now.  Surely he didn't think she had lied and

that she was meeting Gavin here alone or for anything

besides business.  Wouldn't he realize that if she wanted to

meet Gavin alone, she could've easily done it in the privacy

of her own home?  "Where's Clyde?"  she demanded sharply.  

He looked up in surprise.  "Evening to you too, Maggie.  

He just went to use the phone in the kitchen to call you.  We

were beginning to think you'd forgotten all about us."  

"Oh."  She sat down, slightly relieved.  "Sorry I'm late.  

How's it going with Clyde anyway?"  She glanced over to

watch as Cindy now seated Jed and Leah in the opposite

corner with Jed's back now facing her so he wouldn't be able

to see when Clyde returned to sit down.  Well, she'd just have

to make a point of walking by Jed's table with Clyde at her  
	4	214	Melody Carison

side after they finished their meal.  Why did this keep hap-

pening?  She thought about what her mother had suggested

about Jed's insecurity with relationships.  Well, this certainly

wouldn't help anything!  

"There you are," said Clyde as he eased himself into the

chair next to her.  "Thought maybe you'd skipped out on

us."  

"I'm sorry, Clyde.  I was working on an article and totally

forgot the time."  

"It's okay."  A faint smile played upon his timeworn fea-

tures.  "Gavin and I have been having us a real interesting

little chat."  

Her brows raised with curiosity.  Clyde sounded surpris-

ingly congenial.  "What's up?"  she asked.  Just then the wait-

ress approached to take their orders, forcing Maggie to wait

to hear what was going on between the two men.  

"Why don't you tell her about your idea, Gavin," said

Clyde as soon as the waitress got it all straight and left.  

"Well, this whole darn thing with TS Development has

really got me irked," began Gavin.  "I've read all your arti-

cles in the back papers about it, and I've talked to various

folks in town as I'm selling ad space to them.  And I just kept

wishing there was some way to put a stop to all their non-

sense."  

Clyde grinned and rubbed his hands together.  "Come on,

boy, now let's get to the good part."  

"Anyway, as I just told Uncle Clyde," Gavin smiled

across the table at his uncle, "I was out walking the dogs on

your property the other day, just before dark.  And as we

were heading north, through the open meadow, it suddenly

occurred to me that this wasn't all your property.  I remem-

bered how you'd mentioned one time that you only pur-

chased twenty acres with the old homestead.  Well, I figure

that leaves about another three hundred acres still sitting to

the north of you."  

"That's a pretty close estimate," said Clyde.  "I had the

land divided by the county last spring in order to sell the old  
	Looking for YouAllMy Life	215

house as an enticement to get a certain L.A.  reporter out here

to run the Pine Cone for me."  

"I didn't know you owned more acreage out there," said

Maggie.  "I just assumed that twenty acres was all the land

that had been left.  I knew that you'd sold a lot of timber land

way back."  

Clyde chuckled.  "My parents used to own almost every-

thing out there, clear into town.  Like Arnold Westerly's

folks, they came out when land was dirt cheap and they

bought up all they could afford.  Not a bad investment

either."  

"Anyway," continued Gavin in a businesslike manner.  "I

thought, why wouldn't this be a good location for a nice,

well-developed community?"  

"You mean to compete with Pine Mountain Estates?"  

said Maggie with the full realization of what this could mean

slowly dawning on her.  She looked to Clyde.  "Is it even p05-

sible?  Are you really interested in doing something like this

with that property?"  

He shrugged.  "I'm not going to be around forever,

Maggie.  And while I'm still here, I'd like to do whatever I

can to preserve our quality of life in Pine Mountain.  I think

a carefully planned development could be a real boon to our

area.  But not like the kind of cheap setup those development

boys are proposing to do.  They don't give a hoot over what

happens to this town.  And I wouldn't be surprised if they

both don't just clear out of here as soon as they get their

money in their pockets and that Byers fellow takes over."  

Maggie nodded thoughtfully.  "That same thought had

occurred to me too."  

''But there is one small concern,'' said Gavin.  ''And it

involves you..."  

She knew what he was hinting at.  "You mean, would I

mind having a few neighbors?"  

"Gavin suggested this development could be designed in

such a way as to keep your property somewhat protected

and separate from the developed community.  But there'd be  
	216	Melody Carlson

no getting around things like increased traffic and that sort

of thing.  How do you feel about that, Maggie?"  

She considered this as the waitress began setting their

entrees before them.  She'd certainly enjoyed her privacy out

there, but sometimes it did feel slightly isolated.  "You know,

I've always lived in areas where I've had lots of neighbors,

and sometimes I sort of miss that."  She pressed her lips

together.  "I think if the development was done right, and the

homes and everything were of high quality and not built too

closely together, I'd probably like it."  

Gavin sighed in relief.  "I already told Uncle Clyde that

I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get this ball rolling.  But

just so you'll know, I have no interest in profiting from this

venture in any way."  

"I didn't believe him at first," admitted Clyde, "but then

I thought to myself, since everything's still in my name, and

Gavin's not even in my will anymore, well, he's got nothing

to gain anyway."  

"Except maybe a little self-respect," said Gavin quietly.  

"And that's worth a whole lot more than money."  Clyde

turned to Maggie.  "I made it real clear that I'll pay Gavin a

fair wage since it was his idea, but that's all I'm offering.  He

can take it or leave it."  

"That's more than I expected," said Gavin.  "I'd like to

continue selling advertising for the paper too-I think I'll

have time for both.  It's good for me to keep busy...  keeps me

out of trouble."  He smiled.  

"But how will you do it?"  asked Maggie.  "Do you know

anything about developing properties of this kind?"  

"Well, as you may recall, I spent a couple years down in

Arizona.  Not that I learned so much while I was there, but

my old buddy Stan Williams turned out to be one of the

finest developers around.  You can go down and see his

places for yourself if you don't believe me.  Or just do the

research on the Net; this guy's been written up in some pretty

prestigious magazines for his creativity and style.  To tell you

the truth, I used to be seriously jealous of all his success,  
	Looking for You All My Life	217

thinking if I'd only stuck it out with him just a little

longer..."  Gavin shook his head.  "But I probably would've

just dragged him down in the long run.  Anyway, I'm glad

he's where he is now.  And he's a really good guy-nothing

like that Cohn Byers you wrote about in last week's paper."  

"Do you think your friend would have the time, or even

the inclination, to do something like this?"  asked Maggie.  

"We must look like pretty small potatoes to someone like

him."  

Gavin smiled.  "I already called him to sound him Out.  I

didn't want to get everyone's hopes up for no good reason.  

As soon as I mentioned that Cohn Byers was involved, Stan

grew very interested.  Apparently, he's well aware of this

creep's reputation.  He said Byers is the kind of developer

who gives the rest of them a bad name.  Stan wants to check

us out because of Byers.  I've invited him to come out at his

convenience."  He frowned.  "Now, if only we had some

snow to offer.  Stan mentioned he'd like to bring his wife and

kids up here for a ski weekend sometime after the New Year

and asked if I could work out the details for him.  No

problem getting rooms here in the hotel, but I don't know

what to do about the lack of snow."  

"Maybe we should get that Michael fellow to praying

again," said Clyde with a smile.  

"Maybe we should all do some praying," added Maggie

quietly.  Then she turned back to Gavin.  "Well, this is the best

news I've heard in weeks.  I hope everything works out.  Is

there anything I can do to help?"  

They talked extensively about all the possibilities and

Maggie teinporarily forgot about her concern over Jed's ear-

lier presumptions about Gavin, but by the time they left, Jed

and Leah's table was vacant and wiped clean.  It figured, she

thought, as the three of them stepped out the door.  "I have

more good news, Maggie," announced Gavin.  "I found a

small place to rent in town-a studio apartment over the

health food store.  I just put down a deposit this morning,

and the lady said I could move in as soon as I liked.  So I went  

L  
 

	218	Melody Carison

ahead and moved my things over there this afternoon.  Now

all I need is to get some groceries before the store closes

tonight."  

"I'm glad for you, Gavin.  But I hope you didn't think I

was trying to get rid of you.  There was no big hurry."  

"I know, and I appreciate your hospitality.  It was inter-

esting getting better acquainted with Michael-what a char-

acter."  

"So, you've met Michael?"  said Clyde as they walked

Maggie to her car parked by the newspaper office.  

"Yeah, he's been staying at Maggie's too.,,  

"Trying to give the hotel some competition, young lady?"  

asked Clyde wryly.  

"I was just trying to help out," she answered stiffly, still

bothered that Jed had not observed her with Clyde tonight.  

If only she'd been able to say something more meaningful to

him before he left for his trip tomorrow.  There was still

email, but who knew when he'd check that?  Then she

remembered that Michael was going along too.  Perhaps

she'd get another chance to bump into Jed when he picked

him up Michael at her house.  "Thanks for dinner, Gavin.  I'll

see you two on Monday."  

Once at home, her house seemed oddly empty and quiet.  

First, she went up to Spencer's room.  His backpack was

flung across his bed as though he'd been there, but he didn't

seem to be around now.  There was no trace of Michael

either; in fact, his room was so neat she wondered if he'd

actually moved out.  And although Audrey's car was out in

the driveway, she didn't seem to be anywhere in the main

house.  But then, she'd been spending more time out in her

own little place lately, telling her daughter she needed to get

back to being a bit more independent.  Maggie had wondered

if it was just to get some peace and quiet, although that

should have been no problem tonight.  Instead of calling her  
	Looking for You All My Life	219

mom, she decided to walk over and see if she could find Out

what everyone was up to.  She admired again the strings of

white lights decorating the front of her house, and as she

stepped from her porch she now noticed that her mother had

put some lights around the window and door of the little

guest house too, along with a pair of big red bows on each

door post.  Very cheery.  

"Hello?"  she called as she knocked quietly, hoping her

mother hadn't already gone to bed.  "Anybody home?"  

"Come on in," called Audrey from inside.  

Maggie stepped into the golden warmth of the little house

and smiled at the familiar strains of an old Johnny Mathis

Christmas album that she remembered from childhood.  

"Goodness, Mom, I haven't been out here for quite a while.  

I'd almost forgotten how nice and cozy it is."  

Audrey sighed happily as she removed a tray of cookies

from her small oven.  "Yes, I do love it.  And after everybody

left today, I was sort of lonely over in your big old house, so

I thought I'd better come back to own my little pad."  She

looked around with satisfied pleasure.  "It's not half bad, is

it?"  

"Not at all."  Maggie pulled up a pine stool and sat next

to the granite-topped kitchen counter.  "Where's everyone

else?"  

"Well, as you know, Spencer has his cast off now and I

think he was feeling pretty foxy.  Daniel, poor guy, is still

limping around on crutches, but his grandpa took both of

them to the varsity basketball game tonight.  You know, that

team's starting out with a pretty good winning streak.  

Spence says they might even go to state in their league if they

can keep it up."  

"So I heard.  Scott's been covering them in the paper."  

Audrey glanced at the clock on her kitchenette wall.  "I

don't expect we'll see Spence for a couple of hours."  

"And you probably already know that Gavin moved into

a place of his own today."  
	220	Melody Carlson

Audrey nodded.  "Yes, I must admit I was sorry to see him

go.  He's awfully good help in the kitchen."  She placed a

tempting plate of fresh-from4he-oven snickerdoodle cookies

on the counter in front of Maggie.  "I just made a fresh pot

of decaf hazelnut coffee.  Want a cup to go with these?"  

"I really should pass on these cookies after all I ate for

-dinner..."  But the smell was too much for Maggie.  She

picked up a still-warm cookie.  "These take me straight back

to my childhood, Mom."  

"I was going to bake Christmas cookies tonight, but I had

-~a hankering for these instead.  Don't you love the smell of

--cinnamon?"  Audrey set a mug of coffee before her.  

Maggie nodded and took a bite of her cookie.  "Okay,

we've accounted for Spencer and Gavin, but what about

Michael?"  

"Jed and Leah came by about an hour ago to pick him

up.  Michael and Jed are heading out quite early tomorrow,

and he's going to help Jed load up the truck tonight so they'll

be all set to leave first thing in the morning."  

"Oh..."  Maggie sighed, realizing that her opportunity to

see Jed before he left had just evaporated.  "I saw Jed and

Leah at the hotel tonight."  

"Did you get a chance to talk to him at all?"  

She knew what her mother meant.  "No, not really.  If any-

thing, I've probably messed things up worse than ever.  I'm

starting to wonder if Jed and I will ever get together.  Hon-

estly, it seems like no matter what I do, everything between

us continually gets worse."  

"What in the world happened tonight?"  asked Audrey as

she poured herself a mug of coffee and settled onto a stool

on the other side of the counter.  

Maggie told her the whole story of how Clyde had been

on the phone and Jed had seen her meet what appeared to

be only Gavin for dinner.  "But you know what's really

--I--starting to make me feel bad, Mom?  It's Leah.  I hate to say

--this, but I'm really starting to resent her.  And it makes me

feel just horrible."  
	Looking for You All My Life	221

"Why is that?"  

"What?  Feeling horrible?  Or resenting her?"  

"Both, I suppose."  

"Well, I feel horrible because she's just a kid who's had a  

pretty tough life.  And I resent her because sometimes I get - -~

the impression she's actually trying to drive Jed and me  

apart-and then I feel guilty for thinking that."  

"Well, she might be."  

Maggie leaned forward.  "Do you really think so?"  

"Why not?  Jed's probably the best thing that's ever hap-

pened to her in her whole life.  I'm sure she doesn't want to

lose him to anyone."  

"Or even share him?"  

Audrey shrugged.  "Maybe not."  

Maggie sipped her coffee.  "Well, I've been trying not to

think about this, but when Jed confronted me about Gavin

staying here, he made a big point about how the whole thing

made Leah really uncomfbrtable.  But I had specifically asked

her just the night before if she felt okay about the whole

thing, and she had assured me she did!  And then Jed said

that Leah had told him that I'd flown off with Cohn Byers

in his private jet.  Now, why would she say that?  You were

there; you saw for yourself that Cohn wasn't anywhere

around."  

"I don't know why or if she said that.  You need to keep

in mind that you're hearing all this secondhand, Maggie.  It's

also possible that Jed's jealousy may have caused him to

elaborate on some things that Leah had mentioned.  Don't

jump to any conclusions that you might later regret.  Here's

something I used to tell my clients, and I'm sure I've said it

to you before.  The safest thing in situations like this is to just

assume the best in another person."  

"I suppose you're right..."  

"Just the same, I think you should talk to Jed directly, and

as soon as possible, especially after your misunderstanding

tonight.  The poor guy's going to need some serious reassur-

ance about your relationship."  
	222	Melody Carlson

"He needs reassurance?  Good grief, what about me?  I'm

not even sure we still even have a relationship.  And now he's

going to be gone for the better part of a week."  Maggie

groaned.  "And by the time he gets back, it'll be almost

Christmas-and Barry and Rebecca will be here by then.  

Then we have the wedding to prepare for.  Why, I'll be lucky

if I can have a conversation with him sometime next year."  

Audrey laughed.  "You may be a little overdramatic about

the whole thing.  And by the way, don't you think we should

invite Jed and Leah to join us for Christmas too?  Who else

do they have?  And, of course, Michael is staying here..."  

She brightened.  "Yes.  Of course, you're right, Mom.  The

voice of reason wins out again.  

"And don't you think we should be getting a Christmas

--tree up soon?"  

"Right.  Now that Spence is out of his cast, maybe we can

cut one down ourselves.  I've heard that you can get a permit

to cut them right out of the woods.  Can you imagine?  We'll

be just like a real wilderness family."  Suddenly Maggie rec-

ognized that the excitement of preparing for the holidays

was returning to her-something she hadn't felt since Phil's

death.  "I just hope I can find where we put all our Christmas

decorations.  They may be buried beneath a pile of other

boxes out in the barn, but we can dig them out."  

"That's my girl," cheered Audrey.  "That's the spirit."  

Maggie smiled.  "I guess I was kind of down, wasn't I?  

Well, the cookies and pep talk were good medicine, Mom."  

"Sometimes, back in my counseling days, I wanted to

give cookies to my patients, but I was afraid it wouldn't look

very professional."  

"I don't know.  Just think, you could have hung out a sign

that said 'counseling and cookies' and made a fortune," sug-

gested Maggie.  

"You know, you could be on to something with that

idea."  
	Looking for You All My Life	223

Then Maggie told her all about Gavin's new idea to

develop the property just north of them as a way to oppose

Pine Mountain Estates.  

"And how do you feel about getting a ready-made com-

munity like that?"  asked her mother.  

"Okay, I guess.  At least I'll have the assurance that it'll be

done right.  And Clyde said I could sit on the board if I like,

and that way I'd have a say about things.  I do sort of miss

having neighbors.  Not that they'd be all that 'close-barely

within walking distance really."  

"My, for a sleepy little town, how quickly things change

around here."  

"We're all keeping quiet about this idea, at least for the

time being.  We don't want Greg and Rick getting wind of

any of this yet."  

"My lips are sealed."  
-i  

 udrey brought over a plate of cookies to share at the

wedding planning meeting the next morning.  Soon

all the women were settled around Maggie's dining

room table with Chloe as moderator, Rosa as the note-taking

secretary, and Maggie as hostess.  

"My mother thinks I've totally lost my marbles," said

Chloe, then she dramatically imitated what must have been

her mother's intonation.  "Nobody, and I mean absolutely

no body, throws a wedding like this at -the very last moment.  

Just think what people will say!  Surely they'll assume that

you're pregnant, Chloe, or just terribly desperate, or that

you've simply lost your mind altogether."  The women all

laughed and Chloe bowed theatrically.  

"Well, I have to admit I was a little surprised too," said

Maggie as she refilled the plate of cookies on the table.  "But

I do think it's a charming idea to have a small, intimate wed-

ding, and I'm happy to be a conspirator in the whole thing.  

Do you think your parents are going to come?"  

"Mom keeps telling me to forget it, but I know my dad

will give in and come-even if it's at the last minute.  And my  

brother told me 'off the record' that he and his girlfriend will -[

be here with bells on."  She produced a piece of paper.  "This  

225  
	226	Melody Carlson

is our guest list.  Right now there are about a hundred names

on it, but we figure only about half or less will show because

of the holiday.  We figure fifty people shouldn't be too many

for your house, Maggie.  I already called a motel in Byron to

reserve rooms for the overnighters, although I don't expect

there'll be all that many from out of town."  

"And it's all worked out that Michael will officiate the

ceremony," said Rosa.  "He told me that he even has a suit."  

"I've offered to handle all the flowers," said Abigail hap-

pily.  "Chloe gave me some magazine pictures of the sort of

things she likes.  And Clara is going to loan me some of her

antique vases and help with the arranging."  

-"Sierra and I will do most of the food," said Rosa, nod-

ding to Audrey.  "And Audrey has offered to coordinate

everything."  

--"I wonder if this is how they did weddings back in the old

days," said Chloe dreamily.  "With family and friends all

-pitching in, and not all the craziness and expense-I can't

believe that my friend Susan shelled out over thirty thousand

-~dollars for her wedding last year.  Actually, it was her parents

who did the shelling.  I think my parents should thank me."  

Maggie nodded.  "I know what you mean, I remember a

coworker down in L.A.  who became so stressed Out over her

elaborate wedding plans that she and her fiance' had a huge

-fight and ended up ~alling the whole thing off just three days

before the wedding.  She returned gifts for weeks.''  

--"Yes," said Abigail.  "My great-niece was so nervous that

she broke out in hives the night before her wedding.  She had

to layer on so much makeup just to cover them up that I was

afraid her face was going to crack when she smiled."  

"But weddings are supposed to be a happy occasion for

everyone," said Rosa, "including the bride and groom.  I

really do like the idea of a simple celebration.  After all, it's  

4  

not so much about the wedding but the marriage."  

"You're exactly right," said Audrey.  "I don't know how

--many times I've had to counsel unhappy newlyweds who

had spent months, sometimes years, pulling off some huge,  
	Looking for You All My Life	227

fantasy wedding but had invested literally nothing into

preparing for their actual marriage."  

They planned and chatted happily for a couple of hours.  

Scott's brother, Max, was to be best man, and Chloe had

asked Sierra to be her maid of honor.  The banister of the

staircase would be wrapped in evergreen garlands, white

lights, and white satin ribbons.  All the flowers would be

varying shades of white, and only white candles would be

used for light.  The whole thing sounded very lovely and

romantic.  Just the sort of wedding Maggie might have,

maybe someday...  When the women were finally satisfied

that everything from mints to napkins had been covered,

they cheerfully parted ways.  

Outside on the porch, after the others had left, Rosa

pulled Maggie aside.  "Don't tell Scott or Chloe this, but Sam

has arranged for a horse and carriage-or sleigh, if we have

snow-to be used to take the couple away.  Then he'll have

their car parked a mile or so down the road.  Do you mind if

we use your barn?"  

"Not at all.  What a wonderful idea!"  

"Oh, and I almost forgot," said Rosa.  "Would you and

Spencer and Audrey want to join us after church tomorrow?  

We're going to cut our Christmas tree-it's sort of a tradi-

tion.  We traipse around in the woods for about an hour and

then drink lots of hot cocoa."  

"I know I'd love to tag along," said Maggie.  "I'm sure

Spencer and Mom would enjoy it too.  

She waved from the porch as Rosa's car pulled away, and

then looked over toward the mountains.  A heavy bank of

white clouds hung right over their tops.  Perhaps not the kind

that bring snow, but it was enough to give her hope as she

quietly breathed another prayer for the weather to change.  

Only yesterday she'd received several more angry letters

from agitated businessowners who felt like she was putting

a damper on development to the detriment of the entire

town.  Although she would print some of the better written

letters in the paper, she tried not to take them too seriously.  
	228	Melody Carison

It was natural to think that some people were simply venting

their frustration due to a lack of snow and the subsequent

loss of business from an unopened ski season.  Even this

morning, Rosa had patiently explained how this hostile

atmosphere would instantly disappear the very same

moment when the weather began to cooperate.  Maggie had

heard on the news that the ski resort reported it would only

take about fifteen more inches of snow to open their chairs,

which, they assured with optimism, could literally happen

overnight.  Oh, if only...  

On Sunday Maggie and Audrey and Spencer went to

church.  It made Maggie sad to think this would be their last

Iday of meeting in this beautiful building with the fantastic

mountain views (although today the mountains were corn-

pletely shrouded in a thick blanket of cloud~ven more so

than yeserday!).  She wondered if she would ever again expe-

rience another church that was so aesthetically pleasing as

this.  She thought of the times she had sat on the rough-hewn

benches and been relaxed and refreshed as she looked out

upon the mountains.  And yet, she also remembered one of

Jed's sermons where he said they could look to the hills for

strength without finding any, for strength only came from

God.  Yes, that was a good message that day.  

Today she glanced around the building and wondered

what it would look like in here after Jed finished converted

it into a home for him and Leah.  She tried not to think that,

not so long ago, she had actually imagined she might one day

share this space with him.  But now that seemed far away, if

not totally removed, from reality.  Besides, she had her own

home and family to consider.  Living out here in the woods

was probably just a silly fantasy better left behind when she

passed through those big wooden doors one last time.  

Sam led the service today, reminiscing about the history

of their little church, about how they'd pulled themselves  
	Looking for You All My Life	229

together after their last pastor left, and what a wonderful gift

it had been to meet up here for the past couple years, but that

now they should rejoice for they were entering a brand new

season.  The school library had been secured for them to meet

in until after the New Year, and at that time the board would

determine how to proceed from there.  "But we have also

come up with a unique dilemma," continued Sam, "and last

week the board decided to bring this question to the con-

gregation to vote upon today."  He glanced at the faces

around the room.  "Now, you've all had a chance to become

somewhat acquainted with young Michael Abundi.  He has

preached two sermons here, and some of you have spent

time with him personally.  As most of you know, he was

trained as a pastor in his own country, and he strongly

believes that God has called him to Pine Mountain for the

specific purpose of reaching Out to people.  Since his arrival,

I know of many who have been touched by this young man's

ministry.  In fact, I can honestly say that I'm a better person

for having spent time with him-his deeply rooted faith is a

challenge to me.  And I know many of you would agree.  

Anyway, his name was raised at our last board meeting as a

potential pastoral candidate for our church.  We discussed

this for quite some time without reaching an agreement.  

Finally, we decided this was too big of an issue to decide on

our own, and as both Michael and Jed are out of town this

weekend, we thought today would be a good day to let the

congregation discuss this possibility and make a decision.  

We have mentioned our interest to Michael, and he very

hum bly said he only wanted to do God's will.  We have made

no official job offer to him.  What we want today is to hear

from you."  Sam nodded over to Jim Hanson, another board

member, and Jim came up to the pulpit.  "Jim has requested

this opportunity to talk to you today in representation of

those on the board who are opposed to this idea."  

Jim cleared his throat.  "It's not that I have anything per-

sonally against Michael Abundi," he began carefully.  "But I

am concerned about the stability of this congregation right  
230 ~ Melody Carlson  

now.  We've been through a lot in the past several years, and

yet we have a really good bunch of people here.  I'm just wor-

ried that bringing in an outsider right now could have a neg-

ative impact on our future as a church.  I'm afraid Michael

might not understand our culture and our ways, and that he

might alienate others in town who aren't as open-minded as

som~  

"You mean because he's a black man," called Lou Hen-

derson from nearby.  He was also a member of the board.  

Jim frowned.  "Yes, to be honest with everyone here, the

racial issue was discussed during our recent meeting.  It's no

secret that we already have some folks in town who are

trying to make this an even bigger issue right now.  We

wonder, do we really need that kind of controversy for our

church?"  

"Jim is referring to folks like Randy Ebbert," said Lou

Iwith a scowl, "and there are those of us on the board who

would rather not give that man the time of day, let alone let

him influence our choice as to who should lead this church.''  

Sam stood up now and held up his hands.  "Okay, guys,

we've debated this enough already.  I'm letting Jim present his

side before we open this to discussion and take it to a vote.  

"Then someone had better represent the other side," said

Lou defensively, and Maggie nodded in agreement.  

"I thought I already did that," said Sam.  

"Not very well.  I think you were trying to be too impar-

tial."  Lou looked back at Jim with impatience.  "Have you

said all you plan to say?"  

"I just want to make it clear, I only oppose this because

I'm trying to consider what will be best for our church in the

long run.  We want to reach out to others in town and we

want to grow in numbers.  And if we want to grow, we need

to consider the needs of our community.  Just look around

this room.  Do you see any other black people in here or in

our town in general?  It just doesn't make sense to bring in a

man, not only of a different race, but also from a drastically  
	Looking for You All My Life	231

different culture, to lead this congregation.  That's all I have

to say."  

Sam stepped back to the pulpit.  "Any comments from the

congregation?"  

"I have a comment."  Scott stood up.  "I asked Michael to

officiate our wedding mostly because I like him and because

I think he's got a good head on his shoulders.  But before he

would agree to perform the ceremony, he wanted to meet

with Chloe and me a few times.  I wasn't sure what for, but

after our first meeting with him a week or so ago, I was really

impressed.  He gave us some very wise premarital counseling,

and he's requiring us to read a whole list of Bible verses

together."  Scott looked down at Chloe.  "Doing this assign-

ment has brought us closer together.  It's been really special."  

Chloe nodded in agreement and then Scott sat down.  

"I can't believe we're even considering this," said a man

who worked in the hardware store and usually remained

quiet.  "Oh sure, I'll agree that Michael knows how to preach

a good sermon and all, but he's not one of us.  I mean, he

comes in here from who knows where and then thinks he can

take over.  Well, I'm sorry, but I think it's a crazy idea to invite

him to be our leader."  A couple of others chimed in agree-

ment, and Maggie found herself standing up to speak.  

"Michael is an amazing young man," she began.  "His

wisdom far exceeds his years and his gracious and kind spirit

are the most Christian I have ever seen.  I've watched him

reach out and touch the lives of people of all ages, all walks,

both believers and those who are still searching.  I, for one,

would be honored to call him my pastor.  I can think of no

reason to object to offering him this position.  In fact, I can't

believe how fortunate we are to be presented with such an

opportunity."  

Maggie sat down and the discussion continued.  Spencer

nodded to her, as if to support her stand, and Audrey patted

her hand.  But the group seemed clearly divided, and the

deepness of the division troubled Maggie even more than the

issue they discussed.  When it was finally put to the vote,  
	232	Melody Carlson

Michael won, but only by a small margin.  There was a fair

amount of grumbling after the announcement was made.  

"I know this was a tough decision," Sam said solemnly,

"but I think if we're all patient and supportive, we'll see that

we've made the right choice to offer this position to Michael.  

-And we still have no guarantee that he will accept.  

Remember, everyone, next week we'll all meet at the library.  

You're dismissed."  

A number of them lingered to continue discussing the

controversy, but Maggie noticed that many of those who had

spoken against Michael had quietly slipped Out.  She hoped

that they would resolve themselves to the choice of the

majority, but feared it might not be that simple.  If only they

could give him a chance, surely they would see what a gift

he could be to a church like this.  

"I just don't get it," said Scott.  "Michael is such a great

guy.  He's smart, he's good, he knows the Bible.  I think if his

skin were a different color we never would have had this

whole discussion in the first place."  

"I never thought Christians would be so prejudiced," said

Leah, joining their little group.  "Isn't there something in the

-~Bible that tells them not to?"  

-"You mean, like how we're supposed to 'love one

another'?"  Spencer suggested wryly.  

"Yeah, aren't we supposed to love people no matter what

*color their skin is?"  asked Leah.  Until coming to Pine Moun-

tain, Leah had never attended church before in her entire life.  

"People don't always do what they're supposed to do,"

said Sam as he gathered a few things from the pulpit.  "Just

because you become a Christian doesn't mean you suddenly

become perfect.  We all have a long, long way before we'll

ever be living the way God tells us to in the Bible.  I just hope

that this whole thing over Michael doesn't cause our church

to split."  

"I was thinking the same thing," said Maggie.  "If

Michael accepts the position, I hope everyone will give him

a fair chance."  
	Looking for You All My Life	233

"Time will tell."  

"Do you think it would help if I did an article about

this?"  suggested Maggie.  "I mean, if he accepts the posi-

tion?"  

"It couldn't hurt for folks to be better informed," said

Lou.  "Prejudice is usually the by-product of ignorance."  

"Exactly," agreed Scott.  "That's just what I said in my

story about Randy Ebbert's little hate group."  

As the crowd dispersed, Maggie approached Leah.  

"How's it going?"  she asked.  "Is it lonely staying out here

by yourself while Jed's gone?  You know you're always wel-

come back at the house."  

"No, I'm fine.  I kind of like the solitude out here, espe-

cially after being in the shop all day."  

"Has the shop been getting much business?"  asked

Maggie, thinking that Leah would surely hav~e more than

enough solitude there to keep her satisfied.  

Leah shrugged.  "Not really, but there's lots to do.  I'm

keeping busy enough.  And if Jed gets a lot of new jobs lined

up at this show, it'll be good for me to have the place all

organized."  Her tone had an edge of defensiveness to it, and

Maggie wondered how or if she'd managed to offend her

now.  

"Would you like to join us in getting a Christmas tree

today?"  offered Maggie brightly, determined to bridge this

rift that seemed to have fallen between them.  

"No thanks.  I have a lot to do around here."  Leah

glanced around the building that had until today housed the

church.  "Jed gave me a list of things to do to start getting

this place ready for remodeling, and I can't wait to start."  

She smiled appreciatively as she looked around the big open

room.  "This is going to be such a cool place to live."  

"Yes, I'm sure Jed will make it really special."  

"He has plans all drawn up for where the rooms will be

and everything.  You won't even recognize this place by next

year."  
	234	Melody Carlson

- - "You sure you don't want to change your mind about

getting a tree with us?"  

"No, but I think I'll cut one down to surprise Jed when

-~he gets home."  

"Okay, then.  Be sure and call if you need anything."  

Then Sam came up to get a phone number from Leah so

-he could reach Michael and tell him the good news.  ''I'd like

to hear his response before we plan our next service-just in

case he says no."  

Audrey opted to pass on the tree-hunting expedition.  She

wanted to get some things done in preparation for Christmas

as well as for the upcoming wedding.  "I found an old recipe

for appetizers I want to try out again," she had explained

with enthusiasm.  "And I thought I'd do some Christmas

-~baking to start stocking the freezer."  But Maggie and

Spencer joined Rosa, Sam, and Sierra-all five riding in their

roomy sports utility vehicle.  

Sam had gotten their tree permits and driven up to a por-

tion of the national forest where a nice variety of evergreens

grew in profusion.  The woods were quiet and green as they

tramped along in search of perfect Christmas trees.  

"Scott already helped Chloe set up a small tree in her

little apartment," explained Rosa as they hiked up a small

knoll with several good-looking fir trees near the top.  "And

they're busily working on wedding plans this afternoon.''  

Sierra and Spencer were dragging a little behind.  "How's

-your ankle doing?"  asked Maggie, pausing to catch her

breath as she neared the top.  

"It's okay," he called back.  "I figure this will be good - -  

* exercise to get me in shape for snowboarding."  

* "And judging by the sky," said Sam, "that might not be  

* too far off."  

Maggie glanced up past the treetops to see a section of

low hanging clouds just about the color of pewter.  "Good-  

-r  
	Looking for You All My Life	235

ness, those clouds are really rolling in fast.  Do you think it's

going to snow up here?"  -  

Rosa nodded happily.  "I think it might.  Maybe- we should

get our trees picked out quickly, just in case."  

Spencer selected a stately white fir to be placed in the

high-ceilinged parlor of their house, and the Galloways

chose a shorter tree to fit into their snug living room.  Spencer

and Sam took turns with the saw, and somehow between the

two teens and Sam, they managed to lug down the trees  

without much help from Rosa and Maggie.  - -

"Guess I just came along for the walk," said Maggie.  

"And me, for the company," laughed Rosa.  "But that's

okay because both were worth it."  

A few flakes were beginning to fall as they reached the

parking lot, and Maggie couldn't help but lift her hands with

delight.  "Oh, isn't it beautiful!"  

''Yeah,'' agreed Spencer as he leaned his tree against the

vehicle.  "I think the reason the snow waited so long was just

so I could get my ankle all healed up in time for snow-

boarding."  

"Well, it might still be a couple of weeks," said Maggie

doubtfully.  "You know you still have your physical therapy

to-

"I think snowboarding's a fantastic form of physical  

therapy!"  

They all laughed and joked as they loaded and tied the

trees down to the top of the SIN The snow began to fall

rapidly, coating the tops of their hats and shoulders.  "Do you

think it'll be snowing in town too?"  asked Maggie, eager to

see Pine Mountain and her house all blanketed in white again.  

"You never know until you get down there," said Rosa

as she offered her a cup of hot cocoa.  "But at least it's

snowing up here."  

They sipped their cocoa and watched as the snow quickly

began to accumulate.  How quiet the woods suddenly seemed

with the snow filling the air with its fluffy softness.  Then,

shaking off hats and coats, they all climbed into the SIN "I  
	* *	236	- Melody Carlson

	 	thinklmighthavetoputonthosesnowtiresafterall," corn-

	 	mented Sam as he switched the rig into four-wheel-drive and

	 	headed carefully down the white-covered road.  

	 	"Is Leah still staying out at Jed's, Maggie?"  asked Rosa.  

	 	"Yes.  I encouraged her to come stay with us, but she

	 	didn't want to."  

	 	"How does she get to work?"  

	 	"She's driving Jed's truck while he's away," Maggie

	 	glanced out at the quickly accumulating snow, "although I'm

	 	not sure she's had any experience driving on snow yet."  

	 	"You know, it can be a little treacherous getting in and

	 	out of Jed's place once the weather really turns," said Sam

	 	with concern.  "I hope Leah can handle it."  

	 	"Maybe I should call~and see if she's considered that,"

	 	said Maggie.  "As a California girl, I can relate.  It still scares

	 	me a little too."  

	 	"You should just let me drive," said Spencer with fifteen-

	 	year-old confidence.  "I'm not afraid."  

	*	Maggie chuckled.  "Well, if it hadn't been for that broken

	 	foot, I bet you'd have your learner's permit by now."  

	 	"I have mine," chimed in Sierra, "but they hardly ever let

	 	me drive."  

	 	"I want you to take the driver's ed class first," said Rosa.  

	 	"That's what I did with the boys too.  It shouldn't be any dif-

	 	ferent for you."  

	 	Sierra groaned.  "But that's not until next spring.  How

	 	will I learn to drive on snow and ice?"  

	 	Rosa relented.  "I suppose you could practice a little this

	 	-winter.  But it will have to be with your father.  My nerves

	 	can't take it."  

	 	Sam chuckled.  "I guess I better go dig my old motorcycle

	 	helmet Out of the attic then."  

	- -	"Dad!"  Sierra playfully punched his shoulder.  

	 	The snow hadn't made its way to the lower elevations yet,

	 	and it was just starting to grow dusky as they dropped Maggie

	 	and Spencer at home.  Sam helped them get their big tree into

	 	the tree stand and then into the front parlor of the house.  
	Looking for You Alt My Life	237

Meanwhile, Sierra and Rosa were encouraged by Maggie to

slip into the kitchen to sample Audrey's selection of appetizers.  

''These are delicious,'' said Sierra as the others joined

them.  "Teach me to make these and I'll help Out."  

"Great," said Audrey.  "I think we can freeze part of them

ahead of time, and then put them together the day before the

wedding."  

"You shouldn't go to such trouble," said Rosa.  

"Remember we want tQ keep everything simple."  

"Oh, it's no trouble," Audrey assured her.  "I love doing

things like this."  

Rosa turned to Maggie.  "You are so lucky to have her

around.  Do you ever lend her out?  

Maggie put an arm around her mother's shoulders.  

''Only to really good friends like you.  

Audrey laughed.  "I always wanted to have more children

just so we could do lots of celebrations like weddings and the

like.  Between my two kids, we've only managed to have one

wedding so far."  

"Well, Barry's coming.  We'll see if we can get him headed

in that direction."  

"And what about you?"  asked Sierra pointing her finger

at Maggie.  "I thought you'd hooked old Jed good and solid."  

The kitchen grew quiet as Maggie tried to think of a witty

comeback to keep the conversation light, but instead she

drew an embarrassing blank.  Thankfully, Rosa stepped in.  

All in good tim~right, Maggie?  One wedding just around

the corner is more than enough for everyone right now."  

"That's for sure," agreed Audrey.  "It'll be nothing short

of a miracle if we can get those two somewhat fashionably

hitched."  She winked at Rosa.  "But I think we can!"  
n Sunday evening, Maggie called Leah to see how  

J she was doing.  But Leah sounded calm, confident,

and just slightly cool.  She asked why Maggie was

even concerned in the first place.  

"It's just that I wasn't sure how you felt about driving on

snow," said Maggie apologetically.  "I didn't think you'd had

that much experience yet."  

"Jed's truck has four-wheel-drive, and he showed me how

to use it.  We only have a couple of inches up here right now.  

I really don't think it should be any problem.  And if it gets

really bad, we also have chains and Jed showed me how to

put them on if I should need them."  

Maggie ~was impressed.  "You know how to put on

chains?"  

"Yes.  Don't you?"  

"No, not really.  I guess I better learn."  

"I would think so.  Jed said that no one should attempt to

live up here in the mountains if they don't have proper

respect for how quickly the weather can change.  And he also

said you should always be prepared for anything-like

power outages or the possibility of being snowed in for a few  

239  
	240	Melody Carlson

days.  Are you prepared for all those sorts of things,

Maggie?"  

Maggie didn't want to answer that she wasn't.  "Well,

thanks for all that information, Leah.  You've certainly given

me a few things to think about."  

Leah laughed.  "Isn't it funny that you called me because

you were worried about my welfare.  Looks like you better

get it together for your own family, Maggie."  

It wasn't easy being chastised by someone half your age-

especially a girl you had only recently rescued from what, at

one time, seemed a somewhat desperate situation.  But

Maggie kept these thoughts to herself.  "Well, it sounds as if

you've got everything under control then...  

"Yeah," said Leah with confidence.  "But thanks for

checking anyway."  

Maggie hung up and made an irritated growl.  

"So, how's our Leah doing?"  asked Audrey with raised

brows as she rinsed a mixing bowl in the sink.  

"Just fine, thank you very much!"  retorted Maggie.  Then

she turned to her mother.  "Leah, it seems, has become some

sort of survivalist mountain woman.  Believe me, that girl can

take care of herself."  Then Maggie pulled out a piece of

paper and started making a list of supplies.  

"What's that for?"  asked Audrey, looking curiously over

Maggie's shoulder as she furiously wrote down things like

batteries, candles, kerosene lamps...  

"Leah's not the only one who can be a mountain woman."  

Audrey laughed.  "Better put a manual can opener on that

list too, just in case you should ever lose your electricity.  I

haven't seen one around anywhere."  

The next morning, Maggie received a surprise visit from

Kate and Buckie at work.  "What brings you two in here?"  

she asked cheerfully after getting them both a cup of coffee

and settling them into her office.  
	Looking for YouAllMy Life	241

"Actually, we've come to represent some of the businesses

in town that are a little concerned over all the controversy

surrounding the Pine Mountain Estates development," said

Buckie, suddenly sounding very businesslike.  

Maggie sighed with dismay.  "I see.  What exactly do you

want?"  

"We want you to lighten up, Maggie," said Kate.  "I

mean, we all know how you and Greg have never really seen

eye to eye on-"  

"Wait a minute, until recently none of the business people

saw eye to eye with Greg Snider.  I mean, only last summer

he was Mr. Antidevelopment-"  

"Oh, you know that was only a cover-up until he could

get this whole thing off the ground," said Buckie quickly.  

"It's a tactic lots of businessmen use to hide their intentions

until the timing's right to let the news out."  

"Pretty extreme tactics, if you ask me," muttered Maggie.  

"Anyway," continued Kate with a pretty smile.  "We

believe you want to see our town grow just as much as we

do.  All we're asking is that you simply back down a little on

this attack-"  

"Attack?  All I'm doing is reporting the facts-"  

"The facts as you perceive them," said Buckie, then he

pulled out a sheet of paper and laid it on her desk.  "This is

a petition, Maggie.  It's signed by a number of local busi-

nesspeople-people who regularly purchase ad space in the

Pine Cone, if you get my drift.  Everyone on this list is ready

to boycott your paper if you continue this negative, anti-

development press coverage.  Can't you see that you 're

hurting the whole town with all this one-sided pessimism?"  

Maggie pressed her lips together and closed her eyes for

a moment, mentally counting to ten before she responded

with something she might later regret.  To think she used to

consider Buckie as one of her better friends!  Finally she

spoke in a quiet, controlled voice.  "So, are you asking me to

close my eyes, put my head in a hole, and simply pretend that

everything Greg and Rick are doing is just peachy keen?"  
	242	Melody Carlson

"All we're asking is for your newspaper to give a little

more positive support to this development," said Kate.  "Is

that too much too expect?  Just think how something like this

could change the economy in our town.  But if you keep this

up, Maggie, you'll be driving a great big wedge between the

local businesses-and you know what they say about a

house divided, don't you?"  

Buckie's expression softened.  "All we want is for you to

lay low just long enough for this thing to get solidly off the

ground.  Give Greg and Rick a chance to show you that

they're going to do this thing right.  Can't you just cut them

a little slack?"  

Maggie studied the names on the list before her.  Many of

them were local contractors.  Even now she was working on

a story about how Cohn Byers' past developments rarely

used local contractors and labor but instead relied heavily

upon out-of-state, nonlicensed, and almost always nonunion

workers, not to mention illegal aliens (although so far no

charges had been pressed in this area).  But to bury a story of

this significance went against all that she stood for as a jour-

nalist.  She sat up straight in her chair and folded her hands

together on her desk as she looked at the two of them, and

then she calmly spoke.  "I'm sorry to have wasted your time.  

I'm sorry that TS Development is resorting to what I con-

sider questionable ethics.  And I'm also sorry that coverage

of their activities is likely to stir up more controversy and, as

you said, quite possibly divide our town even further."  She

paused and took a deep breath.  "But I will not compromise

this paper's standards and my morals to play Pollyanna just

so Greg and Rick can continue to take advantage of others

for their own personal gain.  I've done my research in hopes

that I'd uncover something more positive.  Unfortunately, I

did not.  And I have only printed the honest results of my

findings.  Quite honestly, I don't know what more I can do,

but you and everyone else should know that I refuse to shirk

from the truth just because a few businesspeople threaten to

boycott this paper.  That is the oldest and cheapest trick in  
	Looking for You All My Life	243

the book, and it doesn't worry me in the least."  She picked

up the letter and held it in the air.  "In fact, I'm quite happy

to publish this petition in this week's paper.  To tell you the

truth, I don't care if these people purchase their ad space

from Randy Ebbert.  I'm sure he'd be very happy to get their

business!"  

Buckie and Kate just stared at her without speaking.  

Maggie set the paper aside, and said quite calmly, "Now,

if you'll excuse me, I have a newspaper to run."  

They stood and began to move toward the door.  "Oh,

one more thing," said Buckie.  "I'm not saying this offi-

cially-it's just a suggestion."  

Maggie looked up.  "And what would that be?"  

"Some of us think it's about time for you to step down

from the Pine Mountain Business Association."  

She blinked at him in surprise.  "Are you kicking me

Out?"  

He cleared his throat.  "Well, it does seem slightly com-

promising to have someone who's vehemently opposed to

development assisting in an association where the sole pur-

pose is supposedly to promote commerce in our commu-

nity."  

She clenched her fists but remained in control.  "Fine.  If

the association wants me to step aside, I'm more than

willing.  I've said from the beginning that I was only helping

Out initially just to get the whole thing off the ground.  It was

never my intention to wear out my welcome."  

Kate leaned over her desk.  "It's not that we don't appre-

ciate all you've done, Maggie.  I mean, you've had some

really great ideas and ~  

Maggie waved her hand.  "It's okay, Kate.  I understand."  

"I'm sorry, Maggie," said Kate as the two of them left her

office.  

Somehow, Maggie believed that she was, but still the con-

frontation and rejection she'd just experienced stung.  To

think of all she'd tried to accomplish for this town, all the

work she'd done to draw the business association together,  
	*	244	Melody Carlson

	 	and then to be thanked like this.  She felt the hurt rising up

	*	in her, and she knew the immediate temptation would be to

	 	vent her frustrations by writing an angry article about the

	 	petition.  But she would not allow herself to do that.  She

	 	must continue communicating and exposing the truth in a

	 	sensible and controlled manner.  Certainly, this petition was

	 	noteworthy news for the town, but then and there she

	* *	decided to let Scott handle the story.  She called him on the

	 	intercom and asked him if he could possibly get the story fin-

	 	ished by tomorrow afternoon, which he gladly agreed to.  

	 	Then she returned to her final edit on this week's article

	 	reporting on the types of labor that had been used in other

	 	Cohn Byers' developments.  Pausing for just a moment, once

	 	1again she considered Gavin's idea to stir up a little competi-

	 	tion for TS Development.  Suddenly, more than ever now, she

	 	longed for his plan to take off and turn into a huge success.  

	 	Was that petty on her part?  No, it would only be petty if her

	 	rationale was simply to punish Greg and Rick, but quite

	 	honestly, she did want growth and development for Pine

	 	Mountain-she just wanted it to be of quality and something

	 	that would profit the majority.  She glanced at her desk cal-

	 	endar, surprised to see that the month was nearly half over,

	 	with less than two weeks until Christmas!  Well, hopefully TS

	 	Development wouldn't be able to accomplish too much

	 	before the end of the year.  Maybe by that time, if all went

	 	well, Gavin would get the go-ahead from his developer

	 	friend, Stan Williams, and the competition would quickly be

	 	set into motion.  Gavin had mentioned just this morning that

	 	he planned to spend much of the day researching county per-

	 	mits and some necessary land use information that Stan had

	 	asked him about.  He wanted to get everything in place just

	 	as soon as possible.  The hardest thing, she thought, would

	 	be for them to keep this wonderful possibility under their

	 	hats.  

	 	"Excuse me, Maggie," called Abigail's voice on the

	 	-intercom.  "Barbara Harris is here hoping to see you.  She said
	Looking for YouAllMy Life	245

she didn't have an appointment and doesn't want to disturb

you, but-"  

"It's not a problem at all.  I'll be right there," answered

Maggie, thinking she could use a friendly face just now.  She

went out to the reception area and handed Abigail the peti-

tion she'd just received from Buckie and Kate.  "Will you

make a couple copies of this, please, and give one to Scott?"  

Then she greeted Barbara and led her into her office.  "It's so

nice to see you again, Barbara.  Have a seat and tell me how

you're doing."  

Barbara sat down and removed her soft leather gloves.  

Then she rubbed her hands together and smiled as if she

were keeping some delicious secret to herself.  "Well, I just

don't know quite where to begin, my dear."  

Having no idea what she was referring to, Maggie just

shrugged.  "Well, why don't you just start at the beginning?"  

"All right, I will.  You see, I went to Galloway's Deli for

one of those wonderful raisin scones that Rosa bakes fresh

every morning.  And I happened to mention to her that I was

sorry to have missed going to church yesterday.  Between you

and me, because Michael wasn't preaching, I didn't much

feel like going.  I know that's not very good of me, but it's the

truth.  Anyway, Rosa told me that it was the last service

they'd be having up at Jed's beautiful mountain cabin, and

why, that just made me feel so very, very sad.  I've never been

a churchgoing person, but something about being up there,

well, that, combined with Michael's eloquent sermons, just

seemed very special to me somehow..  so, anyway-" She

stopped abruptly and looked at Maggie.  "Goodness, dear, I

hope I'm not keeping you from anything important."  

Maggie shook her head, feeling slightly confused.  "On

the contrary, you've really aroused my curiosity.  Please, con-

tinue your tale."  

"So, I asked Rosa where the church would be meeting in

the future, and she told me you'd all meet in the elementary

school library-that you'd done it before, and though it was  
	246	Melody Carlson

	 	somewhat inconvenient and impersonal, it was better than

	*	nothing.  Then, she told me the good news about Michael!"  

	 	Maggie nodded.  "Yes, isn't that wonderful?  I hope he'll

	 	accept the position."  

	 	"Why, he already has.  Rosa said that Sam spoke to him

	 	for a long time on the phone last night, and Michael said that

	* *	he'd been praying about this very thing for the past several

	 	days, and that he believes it is the right thing to do!''  

	 	"That's great.  I'm so glad to hear it."  

	 	"I was happy for him too.  You know how he promised

	 	my Stevie that he would be a missionary to Pine Mountain.  

	 	Wouldn't my Stevie be proud of him now?"  Barbara was

	 	beaming.  

	 	"I'm sure he'd be very proud."  Maggie wondered if the

	 	news about Michael was to be the conclusion of Barbara's

	 	story.  Not that it wasn't good news, and it was fun to see

	 	Barbara so happy, but she did have work to do.  

	 	Then Barbara continued.  "So, I sat down to have my

	 	scone and my cup of peppermint tea, and suddenly it

	*	occurred to me that I still own a building in this town.  It

	 	belonged to my husband's family, but of course, it's mine

	 	now.  So, I finished my scone in a hurry-a shameful thing to

	 	do with such a delicious treat as that-and then I walked on

	 	over to take a look at that old building.  And, oh my, but it

	 	certainly is a mess, at least on the outside.  Well, of course, I

	 	didn't have a key.  I doubt that I could ever find one, even

	 	back home, so I picked up a big rock and threw it right

	 	through the glass window in the front door, then reached in,

	 	carefully mind you, and let myself in."  She chuckled.  "Nat-

	 	urally, I had to explain all of this to the sheriff, but he was

	 	actually rather nice about the whole thing once he found out

	 	it was my own building."  

	*	Maggie was shaking her head in wonder, trying to figure

	*	out where she was going with all this.  "And so, you went

	 	inside?"  

	 	Barbara nodded.  "And it's not so terribly bad in there.  It's

	 	clean and dry, with a wooden floor and ceilings that go up
	Looking for You All My Life	247

about two stories, and windows way up high letting in lots

of light.  I thought to myself, why couldn't this be a church?"  

"Aha," said Maggie.  "Now I see where you're going."  

Barbara nodded, then raised up her index finger.  "But

there's one thing."  

"And that is?"  

"I have decided I will donate the building and the funding

necessary to refurbish it into a church only on the condition

that Michael is the pastor."  

"But the decision 5 already been made, and you said

yourself that he's accepted."  

"I know, but Rosa also mentioned there was a little dis-

agreement in connection to the decision."  

"Yes, that's true.  But perhaps this generous donation

from you might help some of the dissenters to look at this

whole thing differently."  

"Do you think so?  You know, it occurred to me that it

might cause problems too.  I really don't want to cause any

problems, but I do so want Michael to be a preacher-he has

such a gift in that area.  In fact, I'm considering moving back

here just so I can attend Michael's church on a regular basis.  

You know, I won't be around forever, and I really miss my

Stevie.  If there's any way I could be assured to see him

again..."  

"So, would you consider this to be 'Michael's church'?"  

asked Maggie somewhat tentatively, sensing this could pre-

sent some potential problems.  

"No, no, of course not.  I'm sure Michael would never

hear of that anyway-we've all heard him go on about how

a church isn't a building but a group of people.  And, cer-

tainly, I don't expect him to spend the rest of his life here in

Pine Mountain.  But I'd like for him to have a place where he

could stand up and say all those fine things he seems to have

to say for just as long as he's willing to be here."  

Maggie smiled.  "I think it sounds like a wonderful idea,

Barbara.  But, I'm curious, why are you telling me all this?"  
	248	Melody Carlson

	 	"I guess I just wanted a sounding board, and you're the

	 	first person who came to mind.  I know you're good friends

	 	with Jed and with Michael, and I thought you could help

	4;	advise me on my next step."  

	 	"I think the next step would be to talk to the board."  

	 	Maggie listed the names of the members of the church board,

	 	putting Sam's home phone number at the top.  "Ultimately it

	 	will be their decision."  

	 	"That's what I thought too.  And if they agree, do you

	 	think that they'll let Michael make the announcement in

	 	church?"  

	 	"I don't know why not."  

	 	"And would you write an article about all this in your

	 	newspaper?"  

	 	"Of course, this is an interesting news story.  Maybe we

	 	should include it in our Christmas edition.  In fact, it just

	 	might give us a positive way to react to all this white

	 	supremacy banter without throwing more fuel in the fire.  I

	 	had already decided not to run Scott's next story on that

	 	whole business for the Christmas edition.  But I'd love to do

	 	something to put a happy spin on this whole thing-and to

	 	help make some people think a little more openly.  I think this

	 	is just the number!"  

	 	Barbara clapped her hands together.  "Yes, that's perfect!  

	 	This can be my Christmas present to the whole town.  Oh, I

	 	know there are a couple of other churches in the area, but

	 	wouldn't it be wonderful if Michael's church turned out to

	 	be the sort of place where other denominations could gather

	j	too-just occasionally, you know, like for special music or

	 	something along those lines.  I never did understand all these

	 	denominational divisions and differences.  I mean, don't they

	 	all believe in basically the same thing?"  

	 	Maggie smiled.  "I guess we'd all hope so."  

	 	Barbara rose.  "Well, I don't want to take any more of

	 	your time.  But I was just so excited.  I felt like I was a young

	 	girl again, and I just had to talk to somebody!"  
.4  

	Looking for You All My Life	249

Maggie grasped her hand.  "I'm glad you came to me.  

And I won't mention this to anyone until you give me the go-

ahead, okay?"  

"Thank you, dear.  Oh, and one more thing.  I wonder if

Jed would have time to help oversee some of the renovations

to the building."  

"I couldn't really say.  But I know if he has the time, I can

guarantee that he would do a fantastic job.  I can personally

vouch for the quality of his work."  

Barbara winked at her.  "I thought you could, dear."  Then

she left.  

Maggie couldn't for the life of her figure out what she'd

meant by that last comment and wink.  Certainly, Barbara

didn't suspect that there'd ever been anything beyond a con-

genial friendship between her and Jed.  And yet, just the

same, it was comforting somehow to think that Barbara

might have imagined more.  
n Tuesday morning the temperature dropped con-

siderably and large snowflakes began to fall in town.  

Maggie called up the nearby resort for the ski report  

to hear that with only a few more inches of snow the lifts

would be fully operational.  And the cheerful person on the

other end all but promised that today's snow would provide

more than enough.  She hung up with a shout of joy, then

shared the good news with Scott and Abigail.  

"Hopefully, this will lift the spirits of the local business-

people now," said Maggie.  "At the very least, it might pre-

vent them from lynching me after they read this week's

paper."  

"You mean the latest news about the wetlands issue?"  

asked Abigail.  

"Well, how could I not report on what those EPA guys

told me yesterday?"  

"Do you think Greg and Rick have heard about this yet?"  

asked Scott.  

"I would think so," said Maggie as she sorted through

the mail, discovering a couple of personal Christmas cards

from some of her old friends down in L.A.  "The EPA guys

certainly didn't make any secret of it to me, and obviously,  

251  
	252	Melody Carlson

they know that my job is to print the news here.  All they

really said was that they'd discovered enough evidence to put  

a temporary halt to any more construction in the area in  

question until they can reach a final conclusion in their study,

but at least this will slow the development boys down a little.  

And, as I mentioned in my article, the holidays are a good

time for them to take a break anyway.  No big deal, really."  

Scott laughed.  "Sure, no big deal, but maybe I should

start packing a gun to the office just in case old Greg Snider

should decide to come in here and vent a little frustration."  

Maggie made a face at him.  "Gee, that's a pleasant

thought, Scotty.  Any more Christmas cheer you'd like to

spread around?"  

"Just trying to be practical is all."  

"Speaking of practical..."  She glanced out the window as

the big flakes quickly accumulated on the steps of the porch

outside.  "With the opening of the ski resort looking quite

possible, I wonder if I shouldn't hold back on printing a

couple of those especially irate letters that I selected for this

week's editorial page.  And maybe we should shelve that local

Ibusinessowners petition story.  Some of those people might

be feeling a little more optimistic and positive right now."  

"But then again," said Abigail thoughtfully, "It just might

prove to be a good reminder to folks that moods around here

can change at the drop of a snowflake.  People need to

remember in times like these that a little bit of patience can

go a long, long way."  

"That's a good point."  Maggie thought specifically of

Kate and Buckie's recent display.  WQuld they still be so hard

on her if they suddenly had traffic flowing through the Blue

Moose as a result of this long-awaited snowfall?  "I guess it's

situations like this that show you who your fair-weather

friends are."  

By noon there was nearly two inches on the ground, and

it was still coming down steadily.  Maggie walked happily to

the deli, eager for a hot bowl of soup.  It was busier than

usual with local businessowners already celebrating what  
	Looking for You All My Life	253

looked to be a turn in the road for everyone.  Maggie sat

alone eating her soup, pretending to read her mail as she lis-

tened to snatches of~conversation.  

"Cindy at the hotel says she's already booked every single

room for this upcoming weekend..."  

"My brother called from Portland this morning saying he

heard on the radio that our resort will be one of the first to

open in this area."  

"And what with Christmas vacation starting this week,

we should be crawling with tourists in the next day or

two....  

"Guess we had better enjoy our last day of leisure and

quiet.  From here on out it'll be hopping around here."  

"Told you," whispered Rosa.  "See how the snow comes

and everyone starts singing a new song?"  She set a warm

cranberry scone in front of Maggie.  "Compliments of the

house for hanging in there with all these cantankerous busi-

nesspeople."  

Maggie smiled up at her friend.  "Thanks.  Yeah, I guess

you have to be tough to live in a small town."  

Rosa patted her on the shoulder.  "But it does have its

rewards."  

On her way home from work, Maggie noticed Jed's red

pickup pulling out on Main Street ahead of her.  Her heart

gave a small tug and then she quickly remembered that Leah

was using his truck while he was in Seattle with Michael.  

The wheels spun out a little and the back end fishtailed

slightly, but then Leah seemed to regain control of the vehicle

and continued on without further problems.  Still, Maggie

felt slightly concerned, and decided she would give Leah a

call just to make sure she'd made it safely home.  Leah would

probably resent being checked on, but Maggie would do it

for Jed.  
	254	Melody Carlson

She loved coming home to her festive-looking house, but

it looked especially charming with the Christmas lights  

	 	reflected in the newly fallen snow.  When she opened the

	4$,	door, the smell of pine wafted toward her like a fragrant per-

	 	fume, emanating both from the tall tree in the parlor and

	 	from the evergreen garlands she and her mother had

	 	wrapped around the banister all the way to the second floor.  

	 	Tonight, mingled with this aroma, came the smell of baking

	 	and sweet vanilla, and after quickly removing her coat,

	 	Maggie headed straight to the kitchen for a sample.  There

	 	she found Spencer and Daniel up to their elbows in mounds

	 	of cutout sugar cookies, and both of them immersed in the

	 	ptocess of decorating them with frosting and other confec-

	 	tionery delights that Audrey must have set before them.  

	 	"Hey, you two look like a couple of overgrown elves,"

	 	she said as she chose an undecorated reindeer from the pile.  

	 	-"Nice work, guys."  

	 	''Look at this one, Mom,'' said Spencer as he held up

	 	what she suspected by the shape was supposed to be a Santa,

	 	but instead of a jolly red suit, he was frosted in what

	 	appeared to be a blue tank top and shorts with a yellow

	 	number "thirty-two" piped right where his beard should be.  

	 	"What is it?"  she asked.  

	 	"It's me in my basketball uniform.  You know, next year;

	 	when I make the JV team."  He grinned at her as he proudly

	L	set the cookie on the plate with the others.

	 	"Very creative," she said somewhat skeptically.  "Does

	 	your grandmother know about all this?  Or did you guys

	 	bind and gag her before you threw her in the broom closet?"  

	 	He laughed.  "Grandma had to go to the store and she

	 	said we could do whatever we wanted with them.  Hey,

	 	Daniel, show Mom that cool tree you just made."  

	 	Daniel held up a tree decorated in wild, somewhat psy-

	 	chedelic, swirls of color.  "It's kind -of weird, isn't it?"  He

	II-	sounded apologetic.  

	 	"Actually, it looks like a piece of art you might find in

	 	some new avant-garde gallery in L.A."  
	Looking for You All My Life	255

"Really?"  He rubbed his nose, managing to leave a streak

of bright green frosting on the tip..  

She nodded, trying not to laugh.  "You guys are quite the

talented cookie decorators.  I can't wait for Barry and

Rebecca to see these."  

"Hello there," called Audrey as she came into the kitchen

and set a bag of groceries on the counter.  "Don't know what

got into me to venture outside in weather like that."  She

took off her coat and hat and shook the snow from them on

the back porch, and then stepped back inside.  "But I sud-

denly remembered that survival list you were making the

other day in case we ever get snowed in or whatever, and I

thought I better go get some supplies-you know, just in

case."  

Maggie laughed.  "I'm sorry.  I forgot all about that.  Do

vou need help bringing anything in?"  

"Maybe Spence could go get the other two bags."  Audrey

leaned over to examine their work.  "Very interesting.  I see

you guys mixed up some new colors."  She held up a custard

cup containing what looked like gray mud.  "What's this sup-

posed to be?"  

"We were trying to make purple," explained Daniel.  

Audrey shook her head.  "Well, I've never seen cookies

quite like these before."  

Maggie smiled.  "I was just telling them that Rebecca and

Barry would probably appreciate them as some sort of

modern art."  

"Oh, that reminds me," said Audrey as she began

unloading the bag, handing items to Maggie as she spoke.  

"Barry called today and said he'd decided to drive since there

were so many flight connections just to get into Byron.  He

was worried that he might get laid over somewhere.  Anyway,

I suggested that perhaps he could coordinate his schedule

with Rebecca's and pick her up at the Portland airport."  

"What a brilliant idea, Mom.  Was he okay with that?"  

"He sounded just fine.  I found her number in your book  

and gave it to him.  He's going to work Out all the details."  L  
	25~	Melody Carlson

	L!.  .	Maggie poked her mother in the arm.  "Hey, did you sud-

denly decide to play matchmaker after all?"  

Audrey laughed.  "I've lived long enough to know that  

matchmaking rarely if ever pays off.  In fact, I'll bet that the

odds of winning the lottery are a lot better than making a

successful match for someone."  

"You're probably right.  I'm just so excited to see them

both.  Did you tell Barry that Rebecca flies in on Friday, the

twenty-third?"  

"Yes, that's what made me think of it, since he was plan-

ning on driving down on the very same day."  

"Perfect!"  

It wasn't until after dinner that Maggie suddenly remem-

bered her earlier resolve to check up on Leah.  She finished

loading the dishwasher, then, bracing herself to hear Leah's  

irritatingly confident voice scolding her for being overly con-

cerned, she dialed Jed's number.  It rang numerous times and

finally a recorded message came 6n, playing Jed's voice in her

ear as he announced they were unable to answer the phone

right now.  Just hearing his voice like that made her long to

speak to him, to tell him how foolish she'd been...  but sud-

denly the machine beeped and she was forced to leave a

"brief message."  "Hi, Leah.  This is Maggie.  Just wanted to

make sure you're doing okay.  So, give me a call, or I'll prob-

ably call you back again.  You know me, the worrying type.  

Catch you later."  

When Daniel's grandpa came to pick him up, Spencer

talked her into letting him go over and spend the night.  It

seemed Daniel had been given a video-game system as an

early Christmas present and the two couldn't wait to try it

out.  As it was Christmas vacation, Maggie agreed.  Audrey

seemed tired, so Maggie encouraged her to turn in early while

she finished decorating the Christmas cookies.  Then she

turned on some Christmas CDs, lit a cinnamon candle, and  
 

	Looking for You All My Life	257

proceeded to decorate (more traditionally than the boys) the

rest of the cookies.  Finally she finished the last one, then

froze them just the way her mother had recommended, one

layer at a time.  She separated them with wax paper in boxes

and returned them to the freezer.  This way they would still

be fresh for next week.  Naturally, she saved a couple for her

reward when she was done to be enjoyed with a cup of tea.  

All this time, Lizzie had been staying close to her heels in the

kitchen.  She had tossed the old dog a couple of broken

cookie tidbits, but for some reason Lizzie seemed unusually

restless.  Maggie wondered if she could be missing Bart, who

had taken to sleeping in the guest house with Audrey (after

she had been delighted to discover that the smart dog could

climb the ladder up to the loft where he still liked to sleep

sometimes).  

"What's wrong, old girl?"  asked Maggie as she ran her

hand over the smooth black head.  "Are you missing Bart?  

Or maybe Leah.  I know you were awfully close to her too."  

Suddenly Maggie realized she hadn't heard back from Leah

all night.  She glanced up at the clock and saw that it was

now after ten.  Although she hated to disturb Leah this late,

she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep herself out of worry

for the girl.  She quickly dialed the number, but this time got

an operator's recording saying that the call could not be con-

nected.  She hung up and looked down at Lizzie.  The dog

looked up with pleading eyes and whined.  

"What is it, girl?"  Maggie turned from the nervous dog

and glanced out the kitchen window.  The snow had quit

falling a couple of hours ago, and now all looked peaceful

and serene outside, with even a partial moon peeking

through the clouds to illuminate the snow and making it

light enough to see for quite a distance.  The dog whined

aga in, and as senseless as it seemed, Maggie felt that she too

was concerned for Leah's welfare.  

"Maybe I should just drive on out there and make sure

everything's all right," she said out loud.  She looked down

at Lizzie.  "Want to go for a ride, girl?"  
	258	Melody Carison

	 	Immediately the dog began wagging her tail.  Maggie

	 	smiled.  It was probably silly, but she knew she wouldn't

	 	sleep a wink tonight if she didn't.  She thought about leaving

	 	a note, but Spencer was gone for the night anyway.  She con-

	 	sidered calling her mother, but felt certain Audrey would be

	 	asleep by now, and she didn't want her to worry unneces-

	 	sarily.  Besides, she would take her cell phone, just in case.  

	 	Then remembering Leah's warnings about preparedness, she

	 	1.bundled up and even thought to grab a spare blanket for her

	 	car, just to be safe.  She tossed a few cookies in a plastic bag,

	 	then she and Lizzie took off into the snowy night.  

	 	She drove slowly and with caution, marveling at the won-

	 	drous beauty of the snowy night all around her.  It was a dra-

	 	matic scene of varying shades of blues and purple and black.  

	 	The main road had been freshly plowed and seemed to pre-

	 	sent no hazards, but when she turned onto Jed's road the

	 	plowing ceased.  Still, it seemed okay; her tires had adequate

	 	traction, and even as the road began to climb and curve, her

	 	front-wheel-drive seemed to be holding to the road just fine

	 	and she didn't feel it was unsafe to continue.  Now she could

	 	see the faint tracks of tires ahead of her, filled in with several

	 	inches of snow, and she suspected they belonged to the

	 	pickup.  She imagined Leah snug in bed right now, and felt

	 	silly for making such an effort to check up on her.  She knew

	 	she'd have to slink away with her tail between her legs for

	 	being so paranoid.  Maybe she could simply spy the pickup

	 	in the drive, then sneak quietly back home.  But then again

	 	what if something was wrong inside the house?  No, she

	 	decided, she would not rest tonight until she saw Leah face

	 	to face, even if it meant humiliation.  

	 	Then, just as she slowly navigated a sharp, uphill curve,

	 	Maggie spotted reflector lights off to the left.  She turned on

	 	her bright lights and slowed down to spot Jed's pick up

	 	hanging diagonally off the road and facing toward her.  It

	 	*must've spun out of control and become stuck in the deep

	*	rut next to the road, but at least there appeared to be no real

	 	damage.  Just the same, her heart began to pound as she
	Looking for You All My Life	259

parked her Volvo.  Leaving the engine running for Lizzie '5

sake, she leaped out of the car and ran over to see if Leah

might possibly still be inside.  

The pickup's front window and hood were completely

coated in snow, and it was at such an angle that Maggie

could barely reach to open the cab door on the driver's side.  

Then she ran around to the other side to find the passenger's

door more accessible.  Finally she was able to jerk open the

snow-encrusted door.  Leah was slumped across the bench

seat, wearing only blue jeans and a lightweight jacket.  Not

even any hat or gloves.  And she was not moving!  Maggie

quickly climbed into the pickup and cradled Leah's head on

her lap.  Her heart raced furiously as she spoke to her with

urgency, "Leah!  Are you okay?"  The old pickup's interior

was as cold as ice.  "Leab!"  cried Maggie, tears forming in

her eyes.  "Leab, speak to me!"  
aggie pulled off her mittens and set her hand in

front of Leah's nose to feel for breath.  It seemed

to be there but it was ever so faint.  Maggie had  

quickly grown cold, and suspected by Leah's cool skin tem-

perature that her problem must be hypothermia.  She took

off her own wool cap and thrust it onto Leah's head, and

then did the same with her mittens and her thick, down-filled

coat.  

"Come on, Leah," she spoke loudly as she pulled her to

a sitting position.  "Wake up!"  She gently shook her and

wondered if she might possibly be able to carry the lifeless

girl over to her car.  "Come on, Leah!"  she yelled now

"You've got to wake upi" And slowly Leah began to

respond.  She opened her eyes and looked at Maggie as if in

a daze, then finally she spoke.  

"Maggie?"  

"Good girl," said Maggie.  "Now, come on.  We've got to

get you out of here.  We've got to get you to where it 5

warm."  She quickly pulled Leah out of the pickup and tried

to help her stand with her arm wrapped tightly around her

waist.  "Come on now, honey.  Try to walk.  Let's get you into

my car."  Somehow they managed to stumble across the road,  

261  
	262	Melody Carlson

	 	Maggie tugging and pulling.  Finally they reached the car, its

	 	motor still faithfully running.  Lizzie watched with interest

	 	from the backseat as Maggie opened the passenger door and

	 	folded Leah inside, taking a moment to buckle her in and

	 	wrap the blanket all around her legs and feet.  Then she ran

	 	around to the other side and climbed in herself, shaking from

	 	fear and cold.  She cranked the heat up to high.  

	 	"Now, hang in there," she said as she tried to mentally

	 	calm herself in order to drive.  "I'm going to do what Jed

	 	would do," she continued to speak, as much for her sake as

	 	Leah's.  "I'm going to pray as I drive."  She put the car in gear,

	 	but before she began to move, Lizzie hopped into the front

	 	seat and cuddled down upon Leah's lap.  

	 	Maggie glanced at the dog in surprise.  "Good girl, Lizzie.  

	 	Share some of that body heat with her."  She thought she saw

	 	Leah smile just slightly.  

	 	Maggie decided to proceed on up Jed's road.  She knew

	 	his house was only a couple miles away from where they

	 	were, much closer than her own house, and the fastest way

	 	to get Leah inside and warm.  "Dear God," she prayed out

	 	loud, "please help Leah.  Help her to get warm.  And please,

	 	help me to drive safely."  Although she could feel the heat

	 	blowing out of the car's engine like a furnace, she continued

	 	to shiver herself.  "Dear God, help Leah to get warm," she

	 	prayed again as she slowly navigated the curving road that

	 	continued climbing upward.  Suddenly she wondered if she

	 	were a fool to attempt this drive.  Perhaps she should've

	 	turned back, but then she would've had even more distance

	*	to cover on this mountain road.  Finally, after what seemed

	 	hours but was actually less than ten minutes, she recognized

	 	the dark shadow of the building that had once been their

	 	church looming straight ahead.  She followed the road

	 	behind it past Jed's shop and on toward the little cabin,

	 	hoping to see warm lights glowing from the window.  But all

	 	the buildings were dark.  Leaving the car running, she ran on

	 	ahead to turn on some lights, but after fumbling with a

	 	couple switches, she realized that the electricity must be out
	Looking for You All My Life	263

and inside the cabin was cold.  She ran back to the car and

positioned it so her headlights would shine right into the

front window of the cabin.  She quickly located and lit

kerosene lamps, so handily positioned she supposed that

losing the power might not be such a rare occurrence out

here.  Then she wadded up newspaper and stacked kindling

in the woodstove, pushing the couch up close to it.  She

searched the small cabin for quilts and blankets, placing

them near the woodstove to warm.  Just as soon as the kin-

dling began to flame, she carefully placed some bigger logs

on it and then went out to get Leah.  

She opened the car door, and Leah looked at her with

wide, frightened eyes.  "Maggie," she whispered hoarsely, "I

was so scared."  

Maggie eased her from the car and helped her into the

house, Lizzie obediently following at their heels.  After set-

tling Leah on the couch by the now-crackling fire, she piled

the blankets and quilts up around her.  

Then she turned to Lizzie and opened the covers.  "Want

to join Leah?"  As if she understood, Lizzie hopped right up

and snuggled close while Maggie tucked them both in.  

"Keep her nice and warm, old girl."  

Maggie found a plaid woolen jacket hanging on the door.  

It smelled like Jed.  She put it on and went back outside, for

what she hoped would be the last time tonight, and turned

off her engine, remembering to bring her cell phone back

inside with her.  Without wasting a moment, she went into

the little kitchen area a~ thanked God for the gas stove sit-

ting in the corner.  She thought she'd seen a large propane

tank at the side of the house last summer.  She lit a burner and

quickly filled the teakettle with hot tap water, wondering if

Jed's water heater migh~~so be gas powered.  

Then she went t~check on Leah, who was sitting up now

stroking Lizzie's silky ears, her eyes still wide and dazed.  

"How did you know to come for me, Maggie?"  she asked in

a dry whisper.  Maggie gently rubbed her warm hands over

Leah's.  The young girl's hands were white and delicate and  
264  

Melody ~ar1son  

reminded Maggie of the lilies in the springtime, but they felt

as cold as death.  Maggie shuddered.  

"I called to check on you, leaving a message for you to

call me back."  Maggie looked fondly upon her.  "When you

didn't, I began to feel a little concerned, so Lizzie and I

decided to take a little ride Out in the snowy night."  

Leah shut her eyes for a moment.  I'm so glad you did."  

Just then the teakettle began to whistle.  Maggie went

over and stirred a packet of instant cocoa into a big green

mug, topping it off with a little cold milk from the refriger-

ator, then brought this back to Leah.  "Here hold this to

warm your hands and then drink it slowly."  Then she  

reached down and pulled off Leah's lightweight leather

boots and gently rubbed her cold feet, holding them close to

the fire for warmth.  

"What happened, Leah?"  she finally asked.  What she

really wanted to know was why hadn't Leah immediately

climbed from the stranded pickup and walked on to Jed's

place.  It was less than two miles and couldn't have taken

much more than an hour or so to get there.  Surely a good

hike would've been better than freezing in that truck!  

Leah took another sip of cocoa and Maggie was relieved

to see the color slowly returning to her lips.  They had been

a pale shade of blue when Maggie had first discovered her.  

"It started snowing real hard on my way home," began

Leah, "but I was driving pretty careful~r so I thought.  And

then suddenly the pickup just started to swerve."  She took

another sip of cocoa.  "That's when I jerked the wheel..  .1

know you're not supposed to..  .but I just couldn't help it.  

And the pickup went into a spin...  and ended up..  well, you

saw it."  Her lip began to quiver.  

"I can understand how that might happen," said Maggie

soothingly.  "I know everyone says when you lose control

that you're supposed to steer right into the direction you're

sliding into, but what if you're heading right smack into a

tree?  I'm afraid I would jerk the wheel too."  

"Well, take it from me, it doesn't help anything."  
 

	Looking for You All My Life	265

Maggie patted her hand.  "Are you feeling any warmer

yet?"  

Leah nodded.  "Thanks, and Lizzie is helping a lot too.  I

didn't think I'd ever be warm again."  She finished off her

cocoa.  

"Let me get you some more cocoa," said Maggie.  "You

lean your head back and rest a little."  

She went over and made them both a mug of cocoa this

time.  After taking a few minutes to find some crackers and

cheese to go with it, she returned to Leah.  "Here, you must

be starving.  Munch on these for now and I'll see if I can find

some soup or something to heat up for you."  She tried to call

home on her cell phone, hoping to leave a message on her

answering machine just in case anyone was worried in the

morning, but she discovered she was out of range, probably

due to the mountains.  She picked up Jed's phone again, but

it was still dead.  Well, no one even knew she was gone

tonight, so no one would be concerned.  And they would

simply drive back home in the morning.  She found a can of

chicken noodle soup and began to heat it on the stove.  Then

remembering the Christmas cookies, she made one last dash

to the car to get them.  It had begun to snow again.  She

stamped her feet and shook out Jed's coat when she got in

the house.  

"Is it snowing again?"  asked Leah in a fearful voice.  

"Yes.  Just lightly.  We'll be fine in here with the fire going.  

Don't worry."  

She arranged the hot soup with more cheese and crackers

on a tray and took it over to Leah.  "Okay, Lizzie, maybe you

should hop down now.  She patted a rug next to the fire and

Lizzie obeyed.  "You're a good old dog," said Maggie as she

arranged the tray next to Leah.  "Old Arnold would be proud

of you, girl."  

Leah smiled down on the dog.  "I wish I could keep her,

Maggie.''  

"Well, why not?  Would Jed mind if you have a dog out

here?"  
	*	266	Melody Carlson

	*	"No, I'm sure he wouldn't.  But you know I'm at work all

	 	dayand..."  

	*	"Why not take her with you to work?  She'd be good

	 	company.  I remember when I was in England a lot of shop-

	 	keepers kept their dogs with them in their shops.  Of course,

	 	the dogs were always rather sedate and well mannered.  I

	 	don't know that anyone would want a dog like Bart with

	 	them."  Maggie laughed.  

	 	"Then you don't mind if I keep her?"  asked Leah incred-

	 	ulously as she dipped her spoon into the soup.  

	 	"Not at all.  I think she's been missing you."  

	 	After Leah had finished her late supper, Maggie gave her

	 	some of Audrey's cookies.  She'd purposely brought a couple

	 	of the wilder ones decorated by the boys.  "Spencer and

	 	Daniel went a little nuts frosting these," she explained.  

	 	"They're great."  

	 	"I'm curious, Leah," began Maggie, "about what hap-

	 	pened after Jed's pickup spun out of control."  Then she

	 	glanced at her watch.  "Although it's getting pretty late.  You

	 	may want to get some sleep."  

	 	"No, I don't feel tired right now.  And I want to tell you

	 	what happened.  After I realized I was stuck in the ditch, the

	 	snow was coming down so fast that I was afraid to get out.  

	 	It was dark outside and like a blizzard, and I thought for sure

	 	I'd get lost.  So I decided it would be better just to stay with

	 	the truck and wait."  

	 	"Of course," said Maggie.  "I forgot about how the snow

	 	had been coming down so hard earlier.  By the time Lizzie

	 	and I got up there all was quiet and calm."  

	 	"Anyway, I thought I'd keep the engine running to keep

	 	the heat on.  I had almost a whole tank of gas, but..."  She

	 	made a sheepish face.  "I hadn't thought to dress real warmly

	 	this morning.  Pretty dumb, huh?"  

	 	Maggie just shrugged.  "We all make mistakes.  I'm sure

	 	you won't do that again."  

	 	Leah shook her head.  "With the engine running, it seemed

like exhaust fumes were coming into the cab.  I wondered if I  

	Il
	Looking for You All My Life	267

might've gotten the taupipe stuck in the snow.  I saw that

once on a movie or something."  

"Yes, and the truck was at the right kind of angle for that

to happen."  

"So, I turned off the engine and got out and made my

way to the back end.  It was buried in snow.  I dug and dug

and never found it.  I ended up losing my gloves in the snow,

and by then I was so cold I had to get back inside."  

Maggie nodded.  "And then you were probably afraid to

leave the engine running?"  

"Yeah.  I'd let it run a little with the window open.  Then

quickly turn it off and wind the window up real fast.  But it

wasn't working.  Finally, I left the window up.  I just kept get-

ting colder and colder.  And then I must've fallen asleep."  

"That's what hypothermia does to you."  

Leah nodded sadly.  "I was so scared.  But I did think to

pray, Maggie, and that made me feel a little better.  I figured

if I died at least I'd go to heaven."  

Maggie smiled.  "Well, it must not have been your time.  

"I thought you were an angel when I first saw you.  

Thanks for coming."  

"It was the only way I'd get any sleep tonight.  You know

what a worrier I can be sometimes."  

"I'll bet you're tired.  Do you want to go back home,

Maggie?"  asked Leah, a trace of fear in her dark eyes.  For

the first time, Maggie noticed how much she looked like Jed.  

In amazed wonder, she just stared at the girl for a long

moment.  In that same moment a strong maternal love rooted

deeply in her heart, and she knew no matter what happened

between her and Jed she would always love Leah as a

daughter.  

"No," said Maggie.  "I'm not going anywhere tonight."  

Leah smiled in relief while Maggie removed the dishes

and tray.  She returned to stuff several more pieces of wood

into the woodstove.  
	268	Melody Carlson

"If you push in that handle on the side of the stove, it will

burn longer," said Leah.  "It's a damper, and there's enough

wood in there right now to last for most of the night."  

Maggie pushed in the handle, and then turned to Leah.  

"I think you should sleep right here by the fire tonight.  Will

you be comfortable on that couch?"  

Leah smiled and snuggled down into the blankets.  "Yeah,

it's fine.  I'm finally getting warm.  You can have my room if

you like, Maggie.  It's the one to the right of the bathroom.  

It used to be Jed's when he was a little boy."  

"Okay.  Is there anything I can get for you first?"  

"No, I'm fine.  And thanks again, Maggie, for every-

thing."  

"I'm just glad you're all right," she said, her voice

choking a little.  "Now sleep well, okay?"  

"Okay.  Good night."  

Maggie straightened up the little kitchen, then, taking a

moment to place a glass of water on the table next to Leah,

she paused to watch Leah and Lizzie.  Illuminated by the

orange light of the gently flickering flames showing through

the woodstove's glass door, she could see that both of them

were sleeping comfortably.  Then she took a quick, hot

shower in the tiny bathroom, admiring the handsome

wooden shelving that was obviously the workmanship of

Jed.  She wrapped herself snugly in a dark plaid robe she felt

certain must belong to him.  Going into the little room that

belonged to Leah, she realized that this was where she had

ripped the blankets from the bed during her initial rush to

get everything together in the cold, dark cabin.  And so she

went off in search of more bedding.  After unsuccessfully

looking in a tiny linen cupboard, she decided to check Jed's

room.  She carried her kerosene lamp in there to light the

way, feeling very much like an interloper, a trespasser, yet she

had no intention of freezing tonight, and she felt certain that

Jed would not want her to freeze either.  His room, only

slightly larger than Leah's, was neat and orderly, with a four-

poster bed in the center made from hand-hewn pine logs.  
	Looking for You All My Life	2~9

The bed was topped with a handsome patchwork quilt and

matching pillows made from a variety of plaid flannel fab-

rics in shades of mostly red and black-very woodsy and

cabinlike.  It occurred to her, and not for the first time, that

Jed had good taste.  But before she removed the bedding, she

was drawn to a massive dresser against the wall below a

window.  It too seemed to be the handiwork of Jed White-

water.  She ran her hand across the smooth top, admiring the

grain of the wood in the soft glow of kerosene light.  A

number of framed pictures adorned the top of his dresser-

all in unusual handmade frames which she was sure had also

been made by him.  There was an older photo of two people,

a handsome Native American couple dressed in clothing that

suggested the forties or maybe fifties.  The woman was pretty

with her thick dark bangs curling over her forehead.  And she

looked amazingly like Leah.  The man, tall and dark,

appeared very serious and there was something about the

mouth that reminded her of Jed.  No doubt these were his

parents.  She set the picture down and picked up another.  

This was more recent, a shot of Jed and Leah together, taken

at the Harvest Party that had been held in her own barn not

that long ago, although it seemed like a lifetime.  Even this

morning seemed ages removed from her now.  Somehow

be ing out here in Jed's cabin, cut off from the world in many

ways, made her feel as if she had traveled in time.  She wasn't

sure if she'd gone forward or back, but it definitely felt like

an entirely different dimension.  Something about being out

here made all the problems that had been plaguing her in

town seem small and insignificant.  She sighed and set the

photo back down.  Just as she did so, another caught her eye.  

This one was in a lovely frame made from white birch bark

branches, and the face she found in it was her own.  She

stared in wonder at this photo.  She was wearing a white shirt

and khaki walking shorts, along with a healthy tan, and was

standing on top of what looked like a high ridge with moun-

tains off behind her.  Apparently she hadn't been aware that

a photo was being shot, for her expression was completely  
	270	Melody Carlson

candid.  In her eyes was a faraway look, almost dreamy, but

with just a trace of sadness.  Suddenly she remembered that

day vividly.  Shortly after arriving in Pine Mountain, she,

Buckie, Kate, and Jed had taken a vigorous hike-it was

almost too much for her.  She had still been dealing with her

grief over the loss of Phil at the time, thinking about how he

would have loved seeing all the beauty up there.  Buckie had

been snapping pictures right and left for a magazine story

that she'd written, and obviously he'd taken this one of her

without her knowledge.  Somehow Jed had gotten hold of it,

had it enlarged, and made a frame for it.  Indeed, a beautiful

frame-as if the photo, or the person in it, was of some

importance to him.  Silent tears began streaking down her

cheeks.  She wasn't sure if it was just the result of a highly

emotional evening..  .or seeing this.  But they were good tears.  

Tears of relief.  And somehow she knew all would be well.  

Instead of removing the bedding from Jed's bed, she simply

climbed in and soon fell asleep.  A deep and restful sleep.  
______he next morning Maggie awoke relaxed and

refreshed.  She smiled as she looked around her,

seeing Jed's room, his things, illuminated by the  

morning light.  She stretched luxuriously on the flannel sheets

and suddenly realized the cabin had grown quite cold during

the night.  She jumped out of bed and slipped into the main

room to see that the fire in the woodstove had dwindled to

a small pile of red coals.  At least Leah appeared warm and

was still sleeping soundly.  Lizzie looked up as Maggie placed

some sticks of kindling on top of the coals, remembering to

pull the damper back Out (she could learn to be a mountain

woman too!)  and almost immediately their fire was revived.  

She stood close to the woodstove, absorbing its heat and

wrapping Jed's bathrobe more tightly around her.  As the

flames began to strengthen and grow, she added more logs.  

Yes, she could get used to this sort of simplicity.  

She returned to Jed's bedroom to dress and to put every-

thing back into place.  She considered laundering the sheets,

but without electricity she'd probably have to use a wash tub

and scrub board and she wasn't willing to be that much of a

mountain woman!  Then she tiptoed into the kitchen and

hunted around until she found an old-fashioned coffeepot  

271  
	272	Melody Carlson

that could be used on top of the gas stove.  She finally figured

out the contraption and got it all set up over the flames, then

she began to search for something to eat for breakfast.  It was

after eight o'clock, but she was in no hurry to get to work

today.  Clyde would already be printing the paper, and she

would only be starting to work on next week's special

Christmas edition.  She shook her head in disbelief.  Could it

be that Christmas was only a week away?  And yet, she felt

no real stress or worry at the thought.  Somehow being out

here in Jed's cabin was like being in another world.  And part

of her wished she could just stay out here forever-living the

simple life.  

"Hey there," called Leah from the couch.  "Is it morning

already?"  

"Yes.  Did you sleep well?"  

Leah climbed stiffly from the couch.  "Yeah, I think I must

have, especially since I don't remember a single thing since ~

said goodnight."  She picked up the water on the table by the

couch and quickly downed it.  "I'm thirsty."  

"Come have some orange juice," urged Maggie.  "I'm

fixing us some breakfast right now, then I think we had

better head into town before someone sends out a search

party."  

Leah drank the juice, then looked at Maggie.  "Would you

*mind very much if I stayed at your house-just until Jed gets

back?"  

"Of course you can stay at my house.  You can stay for as

long as you like, Leah.  You know that."  

She smiled faintly.  "Yeah, I guess I know..  I'm just not

sure why."  She set down her empty glass and her smile

faded.  "Maggie, there's something I really need to tell you."  

Maggie flipped the bacon over and looked up.  "What is

it?"  

"I need to apologize."  Leah sighed loudly.  "This isn't

easy, but I suppose it'd be best just to get it out.  And if you

hate me when I'm done, well, then it'll be all my fault

anyway."  She looked directly at Maggie.  "You see, I have  
	Looking for You All My Life	273

been really, really jealous of you because of Jed.  I know it

probably sounds pretty stupid and totally selfish.  But I was

afraid that he loved you more than he loved me.  I mean, he'd

actually loved you longer-even before I came along.  And it

was no secret that he didn't even really seem to like me very

much right at first-"  

"He liked you," defended Maggie.  "He's always liked

you."  

"Well, you know-he was all worried that I was a bad

influence on Spencer and stuff like that.  I knew all about it

then, I just didn't realize at the time that he was my father.  

Anyway, when he found out he was my father, then it did

seem like he really loved me.  But still not as much as he loved

you..."  

"But those are two totally different kinds of love, Leah.  I

don't know how you can even compare one to the other.  It's

like apples and oranges-both good and special in their

uniqueness.  The way I love Spencer is just..  it'S just unex-

plainable.  I mean, I'd love him no matter what he did, and

I'd probably even kill to protect him if I had to.  That's just

the way a parent loves-"  

"Not all parents."  Leah's eyes grew dark now, the edges

brimming with tears.  "Not my mother."  

Maggie turned down the flame beneath the bacon and

moved closer to Leah, putting an arm around her shoulders.  

"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry about that."  

Tears began to trickle down Leah's cheeks.  "You know,

sometimes my mother would just take off-even when I was

really little.  She'd just run off with some guy for a few days,

or weeks.  Someone she said she loved, even if he was just a

big, stupid jerk."  A little sob broke inside of her.  "She always

loved her men more than she loved me."  

"I understand why you felt jealous, but you must know

by now that your father's love is very different than your

mother's.  Jed would never, ever leave you-not for anyone."  

Her eyes also filled with tears.  "I know that for a fact.  He's

very protective of you-almost to a fault.  Oh, Leah, he loves  
	274	Melody Carlson

you so much.  He would never in a million years hurt you.  

You must know that."  

"I do."  Leah swallowed hard.  

"Then what's the problem?"  

"I wasn't so worried about Jed."  Leah looked down at

the floor.  "I was worried about you."  

Now the tears began to flow down Maggie's cheeks as

well.  "Oh, Leah, I would never hurt you either.  Honestly, I

wouldn't.  I mean, I admit I was getting a little irritated at you

because I thought perhaps you were trying to push Jed and

me apart-"  

Leah looked into Maggie's eyes.  "I was!"  

Maggie nodded.  "I know that now.  But, somehow it just

doesn't matter anymore.  I don't really know how to explain

this very well, but last night when I was watching you sleep,

and I was so relieved that you were okay, well, something

happened inside me.  I mean, I've always really loved

you..  you have to believe me.  Ever since that first day when

Spencer brought you home last summer..  .but last night, I

was watching you, and I suddenly felt like..  well, like I

couldn't love you a bit more if you were my own flesh and

blood daughter."  

"Really?"  

"I mean it.  It was that strong sort of mother-bear-emotion

that you'll never understand until you have a child of your  

own.  But I had it, Leah.  I swear, I did.  I still do.  I think, last

night, I adopted you as my very own daughter whether you

like it or not.  And even if nothing ever comes out of my rela-

tionship with Jed-other than just good friends-I want to

stick by you forever."  She sniffed.  "I want to be a grand-

mother to your kids.  Can you understand that?"  

Leah nodded and broke into a big, watery smile, then the

two hugged, long and hard.  Finally they stepped apart, and

Maggie reached across the counter for a nearby box of tis-

sues.  "Here you go."  

Leah wiped her nose.  "So, I guess that means you forgive

me too?"  
	Looking for You All My Life	275

"Leah, mothers always forgive their children."  She

thought about that for a moment.  "Well, okay, at least this

one does.  And if you don't believe me, just ask Spence-he's

tried me enough times to know."  

"I do believe you, Maggie.  But I'm still sorry I was such

a little brat about all this.  To tell you the truth, it's pretty

embarrassing.  It actually felt horrible being mean to you.  I

was really starting to hate myself."  

Maggie grinned at her.  "I guess that makes me feel better.  

It did seem a little out of character for you-it sure didn't

seem like the Leah I thought I knew."  

After a leisurely breakfast, with Lizzie finishing off the

table scraps, Maggie drove them all carefully back into

town.  About six more inches of snow had accumulated over

night, bringing the total snowfall to nearly a foot.  Maggie

asked Leah to call Audrey on the cell phone as soon as they

were within range.  

"She wasn't even worried," said Leah, after hanging up.  

"She just thought you'd gone to work early this morning."  

Maggie laughed.  "I guess we both could've been lost all

night and no one would've even have noticed~r at least

not right away."  

She dropped Leah and Lizzie at Je d's shop with a promise

to bring them back some lunch, then stopped by the news-

paper office to explain what had happened last night and to

check on things in general before she went back home to put

on fresh clothes.  "I'll be back in after lunch," she promised

Abigail as she fingered through the mail.  

"Good grief, girl, after all you've been through, I think

you should just take the whole day off," said Abigail sagely.  

Then she looked at Maggie curiousl "Although, as strange

as it sounds, you actually look more refreshed and relaxed

than you have in the last few weeks."  
	276	Melody Carlson

Maggie sighed happily.  "I feel better too.  Something

about being up there in the cabin was like having a little

mini-vacation of sorts."  

"Pretty wild one, if you ask me, but if that sort of thing

agrees with you, maybe you ought to do it on a regular

basis."  

*"No thanks," said Maggie.  "At least the part about res-

cuing hypothermia victims.  Now as far as staying in a cabin

out in the snowy woods, I just might have to give that idea

*some thought."  

	 	For the next few days, Maggie got everything in line to

	 	publish a very special Pine Cone Christmas edition.  Scott

	 	rounded up enough miscellaneous photos from the past

	 	year's activities to make up a two-page collage of town hap-

	*	penings.  And they specifically steered away from any nega-

	 	tive stories, which of course meant not a single word about

	 	TS Development.  And that was despite the fact that both

	 	Rick and Greg made a personal appearance to complain in

	 	livid color about the paper's biased coverage of the wetlands

	*	issues, even suggesting it was the newspaper's fault that Pine

	 	Mountain Estates was being investigated in the first place.  

	 	Maggie listened quietly to them without commenting one

	 	way or the other, then she handed each man a candy cane,

	 	wished them a very merry Christmas, and graciously showed

	 	them to the door.  

	 	The Christmas edition would also carry the uplifting

	*	story of how Barbara Harris was donating a church building

	 	to the town, and how Michael Abundi had been invited to

	 	pastor their congregation, though the official announcement

	 	wouldn't come until Sunday.  The Christmas edition was

	 	coming along so well by Friday afternoon that Maggie sug-

	 	gested that after next Monday they should all take the rest

	*	of next week off and simply enjoy the holidays.  
	Looking for You All My Life	277

"I can do you one better than that," added Clyde,

winking at Abigail and Gavin.  "What Maggie doesn't realize

is that we usually don't publish our next newspaper until

after the New Year.  Which means I don't want to see anyone

in here until the first Monday after that."  

"Actually, you guys won't be seeing me for another two

weeks after that," added Scott.  

"That's right," said Maggie.  "I'm letting him take his two

weeks of vacation time early this year-for his honeymoon."  

Before Maggie left the office on Friday afternoon, Gavin

pulled her and Clyde aside.  "I wanted to let you guys know

that Stan called me today.  He looked over all the informa-

tion I faxed him yesterday.  He said he doesn't see any reason

not to look into this whole thing more closely.  But then he

said," and Gavin chuckled, "that the only obstacle at this

point might be the actual physical layout and appearance of

the land we're considering."  

Maggie laughed.  "Boy, is he in for a pleasant surprise!"  

"Good job, Gavin," said Clyde.  

"Thanks, but we've only just begun," said Gavin soberly,

although Maggie felt pretty sure she could see him glowing

as a result of his uncle's rare praise-the first positive word

she'd ever heard Clyde send in his direction.  

"I know," said Clyde, "but it's a good start."  He glanced

to Maggie and placed a finger over his lips.  "But still, mum's

the word."  

"Got ya.  When will Stan come to check everything out,

Gavin?"  

"The first weekend after the New Year.  I've got it all set

up.  Gavin looked uncomfortable for a moment.  "Do you

think we could do this at the expense of the development or

the paper or something?  Even though I sold my SUV, I'm

running a little short on funds."  

"Of course, son.  Did you think I expected you to fund

this entire operation from your own pocket?  Remember this

is my investment, not yours.  You're just the hired help."  

Clyde studied Gavin, then added, "For now, anyway."  
	278	Melody Carlson

Gavin looked relieved and smiled at his uncle.  "Stan's

bringing his family for three days of skiing and vacation.  I'll

personally try to show them a good time and hopefully

they'll fall in love with the small-town charm here.  Maybe

one evening we can meet with the two of you for dinner at

the hotel."  

"Sounds like a plan, Gavin," said Maggie.  "Just let me

know.  There's so much going on in the next couple of weeks,

I might need a reminder by then."  

Maggie, Audrey, and Spencer spent Saturday preparing

for Christmas and the upcoming wedding, with Leah joining

in that evening after work.  

"The shop was so busy today," she said as she bit into a

piece of pizza that Maggie had thrown together for a quick

dinner.  "I think Jed's going to be really pleased.  A lot of the

sales were just small items, like towel racks and picture

frames, but it's amazing how quickly they start to add up."  

"That's great," said Audrey.  "Everyone in town should

be pleased with the traffic.  I had to wait for five minutes to

get a cup of coffee at the Window Seat this morning."  

"Yeah, but all these tourists present another problem

too,,' complained Spencer.  

"What's that?"  asked Maggie.  

"No one wants to take any time to go snowboarding.  

Sierra is so busy at the deli that she can't get away, and, of

course, Daniel can't go anyway.  Then you wouldn't even

take me up there today."  

Maggie laughed.  "But I promised if you helped me get

those guest rooms ready that I'd take you tomorrow after-

noon, now didn't I?"  

"How's your physical therapy coming?"  asked his grand-

mother.  "Are you still doing those exercises to get your foot

nice and strong?"  
	Looking for You All My Life	279

"Yeah, only about ten times a day!  Pretty soon my

injured foot will be in better shape than the other one!"  

"When do Jed and Michael get home, Leah?"  asked

Audrey.  Maggie hadn't really told her mother all of the

details about spending the night atjed's cabin with Leah, but

she knew her mother had noticed the change in their rela-

tionship.  

"I think they're finished with the show today, and prob-

ably will get home tomorrow, unless they decide to stay

longer.  I left Jed a note explaining that I'm staying back here

for the time being."  

"Only for the time being?"  complained Spencer.  "Why

don't you just stay here for good?  Then we can all do music

together, and Mom can take you to work with her, and we'll

just be one big happy family."  He gave her a cheesy smile.  

Maggie had to chuckle.  "That's nice, Spence, but it 5

Leah's decision.  She knows she's welcome here."  

"Yeah, who knows?"  said Leah.  "I might just stay a

while.  Maybe at least throughout the holidays."  She glanced

at all the festive preparations going on around them, then

took another slice of pizza.  "After all, this is a pretty hap-

pening place to be, and I sure can't complain about the

food."  

That night, Maggie, immersed in a new novel recom-

mended by Elizabeth, was reading long past midnight when

she was startled to hear a vehicle pull into her driveway.  She

looked out her bedroom window to observe a large truck

with its lights on below, and suddenly realized it was Jed

dropping off Michael.  She quickly threw on her thick che-

nille robe and slippers and dashed downstairs, opening the

door in time to greet the two men.  

"Sorry to disturb you," said Jed as he handed Michael his

bag, "but we were so homesick we decided to hotfoot it back

home today."  
	280	Melody Carlson

"You're not disturbing me," said Maggie.  "I was already

awake.  But I just wanted to let you know that Leah is staying

here.  And I didn't want you to be alarmed when you saw

your pickup off the side of the road near your house.  She had

a little driving mishap, but she is fine, and I'm sure your

pickup is okay too."  

Jed walked up toward the porch with a look of concern

etched into his features.  "She's really okay then?"  

"Yes.  She's perfectly fine."  She looked down from the top

step to see his smooth, handsome features illuminated by the

porch light.  She wanted to just stare at him, to drink in his

presence, but she forced herself to look away, watching as

Michael unloaded some things from the cab of the truck.  

"She said your shop has been really busy this week."  

"Good.  But if Leah's fine, why is she staying here?"  

"I think she was lonely.  Would you mind very much if she

stays a few more days, maybe through the holidays even?  

She just mentioned this evening that she might like to.  And,

by the way, Gavin hasn't been staying here for over a week

now.  He found his own place in town."  

His brow remained somewhat puzzled.  "Sure, Leah can

stay wherever she wants to."  Then he turned to Michael

who was approaching the porch with several bags and'

looking very sleepy.  "Hey, Michael, maybe you'd like to

come back and stay with me again?"  

"Yes.  I like your cabin, Jed.  It is much more like what I

am used to at home.  I sometimes feel lost in these big

houses."  

"Well, then, I guess we'll see you later, Maggie," said Jed,

lingering a moment as Michael climbed back into the truck

with his things.  

"Did you have a good show, Jed?"  she asked, longing to

prolong this encounter.  

"Yeah, surprisingly so.  Thanks for asking."  

She took a breath then said, "I missed you, Jed."  

"You did?"  He seemed genuinely surprised.  

"Of course.  I've been missing you for weeks now."  
	Looking for You All My Life	281

His eyes began to glow warmly and he moved toward her,

now standing on the first step of the porch.  "Well, the truth

is, I've been missing you too.  And I've been wondering if we

could get together and talk some things over."  

"I don't know why not.  I know I have some things I need

to say to you."  She smiled down on him.  

He stepped up another step and now looked directly into

her eyes.  "And there's one thing I need to say right now,

Maggie."  He reached over and touched her arm.  "I need to

tell you I'm sorry for being so horrible that day in your

office.  I don't even know what got into me, but will you for-

give me?"  

"Of course, but I said some pretty harsh things too.  Will

you forgive me?"  

He nodded and continued looking right into her eyes.  

"I've been giving everything a lot of thought, and I think

there has to be a better way to deal with all this.  I don't want

to hurt Leah, but I can't stand to be apart from you any

longer, Maggie.  Do you think we could find some time to get

together and talk about all this..  .about us?"  

"I sure hope so!"  Her heart felt like it was actually flut-

tering and she couldn't think of anything else to say.  

"I'll call you tomorrow and we'll talk."  Jed sounded

hopeful.  

"By the way, have you got any plans for Christmas yet?"  

"None that I know of."  

"We want to invite you and Michael over.  We've already

got Barbara Harris and Leah all lined up.  We felt pretty sure

you guys might like to join them."  

He smiled.  "Now, that sounds like a perfect plan."  

"And my brother and an old friend of mine are coming

too.  

"I'd like to meet them."  His voice was so warm, so

gentle.  This was the Jed she knew!  It was all she could do not

to run down the steps and throw herself into his arms, but

she held onto the cold wooden railing, controlling herself.  

"Well, then you will."  
	282	Melody Carlson

"I think it's pretty late, and I'm sure Michael's getting

cold in the truck."  

'L,  

"Yeah, you better go. See you in church tomorrow?"  

"That's right!  Tomorrow's Sunday.  Michael is looking

forward to making his acceptance announcement from the

pulpit.  Isn't that great news?"  

"Yes, almost like a miracle.  I was so pleased.  Good night,

Jed."  

"Good night, Maggie."  

She felt like she was floating on air as she walked back up

the stairs to her room.  Perhaps this would be a wonderful

Christmas after all.  One way or another, she felt certain that

it would.  
aggie remembered Sunday morning that she had

'#7/ promised to take Spencer up to the ski resort (to  

snowboard for the first time ever!)  directly after

church.  She quickly explained this to Jed, suggesting that it

might be the best plan as Leah hadn't even had a chance to

really talk to him yet.  This would get Maggie out of the pic-

ture for a while, which might be handy.  He somewhat reluc-

tantly agreed to this line of reasoning, but quickly promised

they would talk as soon as possible.  

She spent the first hour watching her poor son fumble

and stumble on the bunny hill.  It seemed he spent more time

getting up than actually standing on his board.  She felt sorry

for him, but figured this was some sort of strange rite of pas-

sage that he must pass through, although more than once she

suggested he look into lessons.  But each time he adamantly

refused insisting that he would get the hang of this on his

own.  Finally, when he splattered to the ground just as they

were contemplating trying out the chairlift, she discreetly

questioned the rope-tow operator, a young man she'd seen

in town a few times, about whether he knew of anyone who

gave snowboarding lessons.  

283  
	284	Melody Carlson

He glanced at his watch.  "You're in luck.  I'll be starting

a boarding workshop at two o'clock and I still have a couple

spaces."  

Maggie turned to Spencer, who'd managed to get to his  

* feet and awkwardly slide his way over to her.  "H

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"Sign me up!"  

She looked at him in surprise.  "Okay, sure."  

After taking care of the lessons, they took a quick lunch

break in the big log structure that served~as the main lodge.  

It was full of skiers and riders (as Spenc~r called the snow-

boarders), but everyone seemed to be in holiday spirits and

no one minded the long wait in line.  Just before two o'clock

she and Spencer went back outside and parted ways.  

Maggie then rode the lift up by herself and enjoyed sev-

eral relaxing runs down the slope, suddenly free and unhin-

dered after all those stop-starts that had been required as

she had waited for Spencer to get his "snow legs."  Hope-

fully a couple hours of instruction would improve all that

for him; she knew how badly he wanted to develop some

control before any of his friends, especially Sierra, saw him

on the slopes.  He'd been such a good sport about the whole

thing, laughing at himself each time he fell and hardly com-

plaining at all.  Fortunately his healed foot seemed well pro-

tected by the large, sturdy boots and hadn't troubled him a

bit.  

Just before taking what she supposed would be her last

run of the day, Maggie paused on the top of the hill to appre-

ciate the full mountain view.  Planting her skis and leaning

into her poles, she surveyed the thick blanket of white all

around, spotted with dark evergreens.  The trees' boughs

were charmingly weighted down by rounded dumps of col-

lected snow, almost as if they were hands holding snowballs.  

It was all so incredibly beautiful.  And off in the distance, but

appearing so close it almost seemed she could touch them,

loomed the various peaks of majestic mountains along the  
	Looking for You All My Life	285

Cascade Range.  She breathed deeply of the cold, fresh air

and sighed with happy contentment.  Life was good!  

She knew she had learned a valuable lesson in the last

week, and yet she had not yet attempted to put the whole

thing into actual words, for it almost seemed too big to wrap

her mind around.  But it had to do with simple things like

peace and contentment and trusting God.  Even today, when

Michael had shared from the pulpit, the gist of his lesson

seemed like a bright beacon of hope, pointing directly to

these very same things.  Somehow, he had managed to push

through confusion and clutter and cut right to the heart of

the matter, pointing out how, as you pass through every trial

and challenge and hardship that life presents, the most

important thing was to surrender your spirit to God-and to

trust him with your whole heart.  

Maggie brushed a strand of hair from her eyes and

looked up to the clear, blue sky above her.  Certaihly, she

couldn't understand all this yet, and perhaps her mind would

never get it completely down.  But somehow she suspected

that her heart would.  She breathed a prayer of deep thanks-

giving as she started her descent down the slope, sailing with

grace and abandon, and thinking that no matter what lay

ahead, with God's help she could face anything.  

She found Spencer waiting at the bottom of the hill with

a big grin on his face.  "Want to take one more run before

they shut down the chairs, Mom?"  

"Sure, if you're you up for it.  I thought you might be all

worn out by now."  

"Nah, I'm fine.  And I want to show you something."  

By the time they reached the bottom of the slope, she

couldn't believe how greatly he'd improved.  He only fell

twice!  And even then he recovered himself so quickly, hardly

losing any momentum at all as he pulled himself from the

snow to an upright position on the board and continued.  

"That was fantastic, Spence!"  she exclaimed.  "Did the

instructor sprinkle you with magic dust or something?"  
	286	Melody Carlson

"No, he just gave some good tips, and it all started to sink

in."  He shoved his hat to the back of his head and wiped his

brow.  His face was flushed from both excitement and the

exercise.  "Want to get a soda before we head for home?"  

"You go ahead.  I want to check on something and then

we can meet at the car."  While he headed to the snack bar,

she slipped downstairs and quickly purchased him a season

lift pass as an early Christmas present.  

Jed and Maggie tried several times to get together on

Monday, but everything was so busy with the paper and last

minute holiday preparations, plus Jed had his shop and was

trying to fill some rush orders, that between the two of their

schedules it was impossible to schedule anything for more

than a few minutes.  Maggie honestly reassured him that she

wasn't the least bit worried, and that when the time was

right, they'd work it out and get together.  Town was so

packed with tourists and shoppers that she figured Jed had

better make the most of these eager holiday customers.  It

wouldn't be long until this mad rush quieted down some,

and there would be plenty of time to talk' then.  

On Tuesday she decided to avoid the additional traffic in

town by staying home and helping Audrey get things ready

for their soon-to-arrive Christmas guests.  Besides, she told

herself, she was supposed to be on something of a vacation

right now, which she probably needed far more than she

realized.  

The Christmas edition of the Pine Cone came out

Wednesday as planned, and she sat by the fire in her library

carefully examining each page.  All in all, it was a paper to

be proud of.  Scott's collage had turned out to be charming,

and the stories felt positive and uplifting.  Even Greg and

Rick should find no fault with this paper!  

Spencer, afraid he might forget all that he learned about

snowboarding, talked her into returning to the ski resort  
	Looking for You All My Life	287

again on Thursday.  She agreed to go up for the afternoon,

but only if he helped her thoroughly clean the kitchen and

then put fresh sheets on the beds in the guest rooms.  He had

this all done long before noon.  And after she parked her car

in the ski resort's crowded parking lot, she turned to him and

handed him an envelope containing his surprise Christmas

present.  

"A season pass!"  he cried happily when he realized what

it was.  "Now I can come up anytime I want-or anytime I

can get a ride.  Thanks, Mom!  You're the best!"  

"So, tell me Spence," she said as they walked through the

packed snow toward the main lodge.  "Are you glad we

moved up here now?"  

"Are you crazy?"  He threw back his head and laughed

loudly.  "Of course 1am!"  

She had decided to pass on skiing today, choosing to

remain by the fire in the main lodge while Spencer practiced

his snowboarding.  She'd brought along a novel to keep her

company, but instead found herself people-watching and

chatting with various friends from town.  All in all, it was a

very relaxing afternoon.  Yet, as much as she appreciated this

leisurely moment, she was also starting to look forward to

having the pace pick up when Barry and Rebecca showed up.  

Even now she found herself making a mental list of last-

minute things she would do tomorrow morning before they

arrived in the afternoon.  As she was making this list, it

occurred to her with some alarm that she had not gotten

Leah a Christmas present yet.  She had done the bulk of her

gift shopping during the time when Leah had been holding

her at a cool distance, and had probably subconsciously

blocked her from her mind.  Well, it certainly wasn't too late

to get something.  She wondered what Leah would like-it

needed to be something extra special.  

That night before bed, Maggie remembered the ring her

mother had given to her on her sixteenth birthday, some-

thing of a family heirloom.  It had belonged to her great-

grandmother-the one who'd come over from Italy almost a  
	288	Melody Carlson

hundred years ago.  Maggie had enjoyed the ring during her

high school and college days, but hadn't worn it for years.  

She opened an old jewelry box she'd had since childhood

and picked up the ring wrapped safely in a piece of flannel.  

The band was of gold, formed to look like a delicate vine

with a ruby set like a flower in its center.  It probably wasn't

terribly valuable, although she knew it was worth some-

thing, but its real value to her was in the family history, and

those memories of wearing it during the irreplaceable days

of stepping into adulthood.  She pushed the ring onto her

finger and discovered it was slightly tighter than she remem-

bered, then, afraid it would become stuck, she quickly pulled

it off and set it on her dresser.  Tomorrow she would discuss

her idea with Audrey.  

The house seemed to spring into action the moment  

	 	Rebecca and Barry burst through the doors.  The lights

	 	seemed brighter, the laughter giddier, the music merrier.  After

	 	a delicious dinner of Audrey's famous homemade ravioli,

	 	Rebecca suggested they all take a walk outside to enjoy the

	 	moonlit snow, a walk which quickly escalated into a robust

	 	snowball fight and ended up with them building the biggest

	 	snowman Maggie had ever seen.  They situated their master-

	 	piece right before her front porch, and Spencer even had to

	A	go fetch a six-foot stepladder so that he and his Uncle Barry

	 	could place the head on the very top.  Maggie donated her

	 	old mittens and scarf, and they christened the snowman

	 	George, proclaiming him their official holiday doorman.  

	 	Then they all trooped inside for cocoa and cookies.  

	 	"You guys are like a bunch of little kids," said Audrey

	 	happily as she dropped mini marshmallows into their cocoa

	 	cups and added candy canes as stirring sticks.  

	4,	Barry gave his mother an affectionate squeeze.  "Yeah,

	 	and doesn't that make you feel about twenty years younger

	 	too?"  
	Looking for You All My Life	289

She smiled at him.  "As a matter of fact, it does."  

They visited around the fire in the library until late.  Then

Spencer broke up the party by announcing that everyone had

to go to bed in order to rise early the following morning

(Christmas Eve day) so that they could get to the slopes as

soon as the lifts opened.  

"Jed said we might close shop early tomorrow and join

you guys," said Leah.  

"I can't wait to meet Jed," said Rebecca.  "I've heard so

much about him."  She winked at Maggie.  

"So have I," said Barry.  

"What do you mean?"  asked Maggie.  "I've never even

mentioned him to you."  

Barry glanced over to Rebecca.  "A certain little bird told

me."  

Maggie nodded knowingly.  "Can't even trust my best

friend, can I?"  

"What do you mean?"  complained Barry.  "Are you

trying to keep something from your little brother?"  

Suddenly Maggie felt uncomfortable, hoping that Leah

wouldn't be taking any of this the wrong way.  "There's really

nothing to keep from you, Barry," she said quickly.  

"Rebecca and I email a lot, and sometimes I tend to go on

and on about silly things.  You know how that goes."  

He shook his head.  "Unfortunately, I never seem to have

time for such pleasures.  The only email I send and receive

pertains to business, and by the time I'm done with that I

don't even want to correspond with anyone."  

"You sound like a real grump," teased Rebecca, her blue

eyes sparkling in a way that caught Maggie's attention.  

Could it be there was something going on here that she

hadn't noticed earlier?  

"All right, you guys," warned Spencer, pointing to the

mantle clock which was now pushing close to midnight.  

"Stay up all night if you want, but you sure better not com-

plain when I start getting you all up early tomorrow

morning.  Now, I am going to bed!"  
	290	Melody Carlson

IThat broke up the party, but Rebecca followed Maggie

into her bedroom.  "I hope it was okay to tell Barry about

Jed," she said apologetically.  

Maggie waved her hand.  "Oh, it's fine.  I just didn't want

to make too much of it with Leah around.  We've just gone

through a thing where she was feeling kind of threatened by

our relationship, and she and I are doing so well now that I

don't want anything to mess that up."  

"She seems like a very sweet girl."  

"She is.  And she's been through a lot in her life already.  

But anyway, I think it's all going to work out fine.  Things

have even seemed better between Jed and me."  

"So you've given up all that back-burner business now?"  

"Well..  .not exactly."  

"Oh.  But ~ou and Jed are seeing each other again?"  

"Well, not exactly...  but sort of.  We talked briefly a few

days ago.  And everything seems to be working out.  I'm not

worried."  Suddenly Maggie wanted to change the subject.  

"So, Rebecca, what do you think of Barry these days?  He's

really grown up, hasn't he?"  

Rebecca laughed uncomfortably.  "Yeah.  I'd forgotten

how attractive he is, and now even more so with age.  You

guys and your dark Italian good looks."  She poked Maggie

in the arm.  

"You're not looking so shabby yourself, Rebecca.  And if

I'm not mistaken, I saw my little brother checking you out

pretty carefully tonight."  

Rebecca rolled her eyes.  "Now don't start this, Maggie.  

You know it'll only lead to trouble.  Let's all just enjoy being

together and let it go at that."  

The two old friends continued to talk into the wee hours

of the morning.  Maggie knew her son would be alarmed, but

it was so fun to visit and catch up on the past several years.  

She promised herself she'd rise early and Spencer would be

none the wiser.  
omehow everyone managed to rise early on Christ-

mas Eve day, and after eating a quick breakfast

actually prepared by Spencer, they headed up for  

the slopes.  It was a perfect day with fresh powder and blue

skies, and Spencer delighted in showing off his new snow-

boarding skills to Rebecca and his uncle, only falling occa-

sionally.  Rebecca skied with Maggie for the first part of the

day, but after lunch she and Barry (both higher-level skiers)

decided to attack the more challenging slopes.  Then, just as

Maggie and Spencer were waiting in the lift line, they heard

a girl's voice calling out Spencer's name, and they turned to

see Leah, carrying a snowboard and jogging toward them in

clunky boots and what looked like a brand-new snow-

boarding outfit.  "Hey, Spence, want to give me a lesson?"  

she asked eagerly, then she held out her arms as if to model.  

"Jed gave me an early Christmas present.  He got all this in

Seattle."  

"Cool."  Spencer smiled broadly, holding his chin with

pride.  "I'll teach you everything I know."  He glanced over to

his mother.  "And that should take about five minutes."  

291  
	292	Melody Carlson

Maggie laughed.  "Don't believe him, Leah.  He's actually

pretty good on that thing.  I'm sure he can get you going just

fine."  

"But we had better start on the bunny hill," said Spencer

wisely.  

"Mind if I ski with you, Maggie?"  

Maggie turned in surprise to see Jed right behind her.  "I

didn't know you were up here.  Did you close the shop early

today?"  

He nodded.  "It's been so busy that at this rate I'll run out

of merchandise before New Year's.  So Leah and I decided it

was time to take a break and start celebrating the holidays."  

He waved as Leah and Spencer took off toward the bunny

hill.  "So, do you mind if I join you?"  

"Not at all, but you should know that I'm not a real hot

dog skier.  I tend to ski very carefully, kind of like an old

lady."  

He smiled warmly.  "Suits me just fine."  

On the ride up the mountain they chatted congenially,

without actually discussing their relationship specifically.  

Maggie felt slightly relieved by this, for it seemed they

needed a few minutes to warm up to each other and to con-

nect again.  She inquired about his trip to Seattle and he told

her about some accounts he'd begun to set up with a couple

of big Northwest furniture firms, all with the understanding

that orders would be placed and filled on an individual basis.  

1"I don't want to feel like I need to hire more help too soon,"

he explained.  "I'd like to do all the work myself, at least for

awhile."  

When they skied down together, Maggie could tell by

Jed's form and control that his expertise level was far above

hers, but he kept pace with her the entire way.  At the bottom,

she suggested he might like to look for Barry and Rebecca

and join them on a more difficult slope.  

He studied her face.  "Are you trying to get rid of me,

il~Maggie Carpenter?"  

"No, not at all.  I just thought-"  
 

	Looking for You All My Life	293

He pushed a strand of hair from her face.  "Sometimes

you think too much."  

"You're probably right."  

On the next chairlift ride, Jed told her all about how Leah

had confessed to him about her close call with hypothermia

that night.  "I don't even know how to begin to thank you,

Maggie."  

"Thank me?"  She turned and looked at him, trying to

gauge his expression halfway hidden beneath his goggles.  "I

love Leah, Jed.  I thank God that I found her."  

He smiled then.  "I think he was looking out for both of

you.  By the way, it was generous of you to give her the dog.  

She's been good company for her at the shop."  

Maggie swallowed hard, wondering how or even if she

should say this, but somehow she wanted to make it clear.  

"Jed, I want you to understand that my feelings for Leah

stand alone.  I have loved her since she first came to live with

us.  And even if you and I were to permanently part ways, I

would continue to love her just as fiercely as I do now.  Does

that make any sense?"  

He looked slightly surprised by her intensity, but as it was

time to unload from the chair, he could only nod and say

briefly, "I understand."  

On the next ride up the mountain, Jed told Maggie that

Leah had confessed something else to him.  "She admitted

that she was trying to come between us, Maggie."  He

seemed uncomfortable.  "I just couldn't believe that she

would do something like that."  

Suddenly Maggie felt defensive of Leah.  "But you must

understand how it all relates to her mother-and how all

those men took her away from Leah.  She didn't want to lose

you too, Jed.  She was afraid that I would take you away

from her.  I understand all about that now, and I have com-

pletely forgiven her."  

"She told me that you had.  And I have too.  I'm just trying

to understand the whole thing.  I guess it makes me feel kind

of foolish for being taken in by it."  
	294	Melody Carison	7

Maggie smiled at him.  "Jed, I hate to tell you this, but I'm

afraid you've got a lot to learn about women."  

He grinned.  "Well, I'm looking forward to some really

excellent instruction from both you and Leah."  

After that run, they checked on the two kids.  Leah said

she was ready to try a run on the beginner lift.  Maggie

encouraged both Jed and Spencer to accompany her on the

three-person lift, explaining that she was just about skied out

for the day (not wanting to admit to her son that last night's

late chat session with Rebecca was starting to take its toll on

her).  She asked if he could catch a ride with either Jed or

Barry, and then she headed on home to help Audrey with

preparations for the evening's get-together.  

For Christmas Eve dinner, Audrey and Maggie served a

buffet for their boisterous guests.  Everyone was in good

spirits, but they steadily became more subdued and relaxed

after their full day of skiing.  After singing carols and then lis-

tening as Michael read the story of the first Christmas, the

good food and the warmth from the fire began to catch up

with them.  It wasn't long before eyelids started growing

heavy and people began to turn in for the evening, promising

to meet first thing in the morning to exchange gifts and share

in Audrey's traditional Christmas brunch.  

Maggie wrapped one last present before collapsing onto

her bed and sleeping soundly and dreamlessly.  To her sur-

prise, she awoke early the next morning and slipped down-

stairs before anyone else had stirred.  She puttered around

soundlessly, straightening up from last night, then she started

a big pot of coffee.  She took a hot cup and went to sit in her

parlor, taking time to enjoy the quiet of the morning in her

festively decorated home, with beautiful scenes of snow right  

\I\I  

out the window.  She sighed in happy contentment.  This is  

what life should be like always-snuggled up in a warm  
	Looking for You All My Life	295

house, surrounded by loved ones, sharing good food....  

Heavenly.  

Soon the house bustled with people and activity, and it

wasn't long before Spencer and Leah urged everyone into the

parlor to sit around the Christmas tree.  And then they began

to hand out gifts to everyone.  Shouts of excitement and

"thank-yous" were heard around and about the room as

people cheerfully opened presents.  Maggie was keeping an

eye out for Leah and the small box wrapped in gold foil

paper.  Finally, she saw her opening it.  Leah quietly stared at

the contents for a long time before she read the small note

tucked inside.  

Then she came over to Maggie with tears in her eyes and

wrapped her arms around her and whispered, "Thank you,

Maggie.  You have no idea how much this means to me.  I

promise I will treasure it always-in exactly the same way

that I'll always treasure you."  Then she stepped back and

slipped the ring on.  "It even fits!"  She held Out her hand and

admired it.  "It's beautiful!"  

Audrey joined them, placing a gentle kiss on Leah's

cheek.  "Since you're a part of our family, it only seemed right

for you to have this."  

Maggie went into the kitchen to take the cinnamon rolls

Out of the oven and make a fresh pot of coffee, humming

happily to the Christmas music playing softly in the back-

ground.  

"Thanks for the pocketknife," said Jed.  She turned in sur-

prise to see him standing in the doorway with his hands

behind his back, as if he'd been watching her for a few

moments.  "It's a very handsome piece of work."  

She smiled.  "It reminded me of you."  

"I'm not very good at wrapping...but I wanted to give

you something."  

She wiped her hands on a towel and stepped over to him

expectantly.  Then he pulled out a small wooden box and

handed it to her.  It was intricately patterned with various  
	296	Melody Carlson

colors of inlaid wood, and looked perfect for a few choice

pieces of jewelry.  

"This is absolutely beautiful, Jed," she breathed, exam-

ining the delicate pattern with appreciation.  "I assume you

made it, but it hardly seems possible."  She was afraid to

open it, afraid to appear as if she thought something should

be inside.  But she didn't want him to think that the lovely

box wasn't enough in itself.  For it surely was.  

"Go ahead and open it," he said with a smile.  

Almost afraid to breathe, she did, but the beautiful box

was empty.  It was lined with a layer of fragrant rose-colored

cedar.  She held it to her nose and inhaled deeply.  "Lovely."  

"Remember?"  he asked.  

She smiled.  "Of course.  And just for the record, I no

longer think that it's a waste of wood."  

They both laughed, and the brief uncomfortable moment

passed.  Had he known she'd wondered if there was some-

thing else?  She hoped not.  She didn't want to seem like one

of those women who always wanted more.  Really, she

didn't.  She was completely happy with life just as it was.  

Content.  She was perfectly content!  
arry and Rebecca joined Maggie and Spencer for one

' more skiing day after Christmas, and the following  

day they prepared to depart.  "I just can't believe the

life you guys live here," said Barry with a frown as he loaded

their things into his car.  "It's just not fair."  

"Not fair?"  exclaimed Maggie, hoping for his sake to

play down what she considered to be a perfectly wonderful

life.  "We live out here in the sticks with little more than

weather and small-town gossip to entertain us while you two

have all the glamour and glitter of city living.  I'll bet that

you're already planning some fantastic big~ity New Year's

Eve celebration."  

Rebecca laughed sarcastically.  "I'm not even going to

honor that with a response."  

"Oh, come on, sis," urged Barry.  "Admit it, you've got it

pretty sweet here."  

She smiled sheepishly.  "Okay.  Well, I happen to like it,

but it's certainly not for everyone."  

He shook his head.  "I don't know.  I might like to give it

a try someday...  

She grabbed his arm.  "Are you serious, Barry?  What

about your fancy job in that prestigious international design

firm?"  

297  
1  

	298	Melody Carison

"Lots of designers are moving off-site to work these days.  

Ever heard of the age of computer technology?"  

"You are serious!"  

He shrugged.  "I don't know.  But you should know as

well as anyone that big-city life ain't all it's cracked up to

be."  

Rebecca nodded sadly.  "Amen.  I hear you, brother."  

"You two!"  laughed Maggie.  "Five minutes back in your

old stomping grounds and you'll be singing a different tune."  

"I suppose," said Rebecca unconvincingly, "but Barry's

right.  You guys do have it pretty sweet here.  I'm trying not

to be too envious."  

Maggie shook her head in wonder.  "So tell me the truth,

Rebecca, would you honestly trade your law career in L.A.  

to become a small-town attorney?"  

"Maybe..."  

Maggie vigorously hugged them both.  "Well, you both

know you'd always be welcome here!"  

Just then Audrey hurried out the front door, carrying a

basket of provisions for their trip back.  Maggie decided not

to get her mother's hopes up with any word of the previous

conversation.  Goodbyes were said, promises to phone and

email more often were made, then Barry and Rebecca drove

away, pausing to wave from the car at the end of Maggie's

*driveway.  

-~''You know, honey," said Audrey as they walked back

into the house, "I think I might've seen a little spark passing

-vbetween those two."  

Although she'd thought the exact same thing herself, she

just laughed, saying, "Nah.  It must've been your romanti-

cist's imagination, Mom."  

The following days passed in a whirl as Maggie worked

furiously to get every detail in order for Scott and Chloe 's

wedding.  With the winter tourist season in full swing, the  
	Looking for You All My Life	299

town was hopping with business.  Chloe was trying to make

the most she could of this traffic in her little shop and Rosa

and Sierra were busier than ever in the deli.  Maggie saw this

as her opportunity to repay her dear friend for all her pre-

vious kindness as she attempted, with Audrey's help, to carry

as much of the load as possible.  Abigail eagerly helped too,

glad to participate in this greatly anticipated event.  

Somehow by New Year's Eve all was in place for the wed-

ding.  Sam had spent the entire day at Maggie's house, setting

up chairs, tending to the horse and sleigh, and even polishing

the brass faucets in all the bathrooms.  Rosa and Sierra came

over just after the lunch hour to tend to the final food details.  

Then Clara and Abigail arrived in mid-afternoon with beau-

tiful fresh flowers.  All traces of Christmas, save the greens

and white lights, had been removed from Maggie's house.  

Instead, it was transformed into what reminded Maggie of a

fairy princess house, with delicate white roses, white candles,

and white organza ribbons trailing everywhere mixed with

the dark forest shades of evergreen and ivy.  The transforma-

tion was nothing short of miraculous, and when Chloe

arrived at four, she oohed and awed over everything.  Maggie

had invited Cherise to come and give the bride the full

beauty treatment (although it wasn't a part of her regular

business, Cherise was well known in Pine Mountain for

giving the best herbal facials, and now she was thrilled to

have the opportunity to participate in this exciting event).  

Besides, thought Maggie, perhaps it would help keep her

mind off her own situation with Greg.  

By seven o'clock the guests were all seated, and the cere-

mony began as planned shortly thereafter.  To Maggie's relief,

both of Chloe's parents had shown up.  Chloe's mother, now

seated in the front row, wore an expensive black gown,

which Maggie hoped wasn't a reflection on her attitude

toward this marriage.  Cherise had tried to assure Maggie  
'1  

	300	Melody Carlson

that many people wore black to evening weddings these

days-sometimes even the bridesmaids!  Sierra looked lovely

and grown up in a tea-length vintage gown of moss green as

she slowly came down the stairs, accompanied by her

brother Max in a dark brown suit.  Scott stood next to

Michael (who also looked quite dapper in his neat black

suit).  When Scott had told her that he planned to wear an

old tuxedo that had belonged to his grandfather during the

forties, she thought he'd been kidding.  But now, seeing him

looking so handsome, albeit nervous, in a well-preserved

satin-trimmed suit, she knew it had been a perfect choice.  All

these unique touches, combined with Chloe's wonderful

dress from the turn of the century, created a surprisingly ele-

gant and dramatic ambiance to the whole affair.  Maggie sus-

pected that Chloe's parents were somewhat impressed with

what this young couple had managed to pull off so quickly

and with very little expense, all things considered.  Now

everyone rose to their feet as Chloe and her father gracefully

proceeded down the stairs, a recording of Bach's Jesu, Joy of

Man's Desiring playing softly in the background.  Chloe

looked absolutely radiant with her red curls heaped on top

of her head with a few loose tendrils curling delicately over

her shoulders.  

All in all it was a beautiful wedding, and Maggie noticed

both of Chloe's parents daubing monogrammed handker-

chiefs to their aristocratic noses.  Midway through the

touching ceremony, Maggie's eyes had met Jed's.  He was

seated next to Leah and across the room from her, and he

looked unusually handsome in a dark tweed sports coat over

a charcoal turtleneck sweater.  His eyes seemed to lock onto

hers as Michael continued to speak eloquently of the biblical

meaning of marriage, and Maggie felt her own eyes mist over

and blur as the couple repeated their promises to one

another.  Then finally, the ceremdny ended and the crowd

began to move about, congratulating the newlyweds and

steadily escalating into a more effervescent mood appro-

priate to a joyous New Year's Eve celebration.  Rosa had  
	Looking for You All My Life	301

hired several high school girls to help in the kitchen and

serve food so that all the guests were free to mingle and enjoy

the festive atmosphere.  

After the cake was cut and numerous congratulatory

toasts made, Scott and Chloe prepared to make their exit,

thanking everyone for everything, and wishing all a very

happy New Year.  Then Sam, wearing an old-fashioned top

hat and scarf, proudly escorted the surprised newlyweds

onto the front porch where an elegant sleigh, complete with

brightly glowing kerosene lanterns, awaited them.  The

driver helped the couple into the sleigh as birdseed and well

wishes were tossed their way.  And then everyone waved and

cheered as the harness bells began to jingle and the sleigh

slowly cut across the meadow and on toward the road where

a car awaited.  People trickled slowly back into the house,

but Maggie remained on the porch a few minutes longer.  

Entranced by the sight, she wanted to paint a picture of this

magical evening in her mind before she rejoined the cheerful

and noisy crowd.  As she entered the house and worked her

way through the rooms, she tried not to conspicuously

search for Jed, and yet each time she spotted him, he seemed

engaged in some lively conversation with someone else.  Well,

that was okay.  She was just happy to see him here, and glad

to see he was having what appeared to be a very good time.  

Just before midnight, Maggie felt a light tap on her

shoulder and turned to see Jed smiling down on her.  "Care

to take a walk?"  he asked, holding her long winter coat all

ready for her to slip into.  

"I'd love to."  She allowed him to help her with her coat,

and then lead her to the backdoor.  There by the back porch

was the sleigh again!  The driver nodded knowingly to Jed as

he opened the tiny door.  Jed helped Maggie aboard and then

he climbed in next to her, tucking the thick wool blanket all

around both of them.  With the soft jingle of harness and

bells, the sleigh took off into the snowy night.  

She felt her face smiling brightly in the cold winter air.  

"What a perfectly wonderful idea, Jed.  Thank you so much  
	302	Melody Carlson

	 	for thinking of this!"  She turned happily to him.  His face,

	 	illuminated by the lantern's golden glow, was smiling too.  

	 	He reached over and took her hand.  "Thank you for

	 	joining me, Maggie."  He slipped his arm around her shoul-

	 	ders.  "I wanted to do something romantic for you.  I think

	 	I'm still trying to make up for being such an unwitting idiot

	 	during the past few weeks.  Anyway, I worked out the details

	 	for the sleigh with Sam.  It seemed like the perfect way to get

	 	a moment alone with you."  

	 	Happily, they rode together with only the sound of bells,

	 	the muffled rhythmic thump of hooves, and the metal skids

	 	slicing over the frozen snow.  Then after a while, Jed spoke

	 	again.  "I had a reason for planning this little midnight ride,"

	 	he explained, his voice sounding just slightly uncertain.  "It's

	 	probably not going to make a whole lot of sense..  .but I think

	 	you know me well enough..  well, you'll understand that I

	 	don't always do things in a traditional sort of way.  Plus, as

	 	you said yourself, I have a lot to learn about women.  So, if

	 	I'm doing this all wrong, please feel free to set me straight."  

	 	He looked directly into her eyes with an almost pleading

	*	expression.  

	 	She nodded, trying to encourage him, and at the same

	 	time comprehend what he was talking about.  As far as she

	 	was concerned, they were all right now.  There was nothing

	 	more to be said about what had transpired between them.  

	 	Jed was completely forgiven, and she looked forward to

	 	what was ahead for both of them.  

	 	*He cleared his throat.  "You see, there was something that

	 	was supposed to go with your Christmas present last

	 	week..."  He reached into his pocket with his free hand.  "I

	 	know this might all seem rather sudden to you, and I don't

	 	want you to think that I haven't given this thing plenty of

	 	thought.  Because the truth is, I hardly think about anything

	 	else."  He sounded so unsettled and nervous that suddenly

	 	her heart began to beat wildly.  She was filled with a strange

	 	hope and what seemed a wild expectation.  Surely this

	 	wasn't...  surely it couldn't be!  
	Looking for You All My Life	303

"Maggie Carpenter, I love you more than I have ever

dreamed was even possible, and I feel that I cannot live my

life without you.  Would you please do me the honor of

becoming my wife?"  

It was!  

She just sat there in speechless and silent shock.  Jed

Whitewater was actually proposing to her!  Why had she not

seen this coming?  Then she looked straight into his eyes and

saw a flicker of worry there, and suddenly knew her pause

was giving him some serious cause for concern.  She realized

just how difficult this whole thing must be for him-and per-

haps this was why he had done it in what seemed like a

slightly abrupt (albeit intensely romantic) fashion.  

"Of course, I'll marry you!"  She threw her arms around

him, and he began to laugh.  

"You will?"  His voice sounded incredulous.  

"Yes, I will!  I just thought you would never ask!"  

"You didn't?"  He held her back and looked into her eyes,

then smiled shyly.  "I guess I'm not very good at this sort of

thing, but I thought I was sending you all kinds of signals."  

She laughed heartily.  "Well, like I said, Jed Whitewater,

you still have an awful lot to learn about women."  

He gently toached her cheek with his hand.  "I'm sure

you're right about that, Maggie.  I can't believe how dense

I've been about so many things.  That's just one of the many

reasons I need you in my life.  You help me to see things dif-

ferently."  

"I could say the same about you, Jed."  

Then he slipped the ring onto her finger, and it fit per-

fectly.  She held it up to the light and examined a simple yet

elegant solitaire set into a smooth band of gold.  "It's incred-

ible, Jed.  I love it.  But when did you get this, and how did

you know the size of my finger?  It's all so amazingly fairy-

tale wonderful!"  

He smiled.  "Well, I've known almost since I met you that

this day was coming.  I know it must sound crazy to you, but

something in my heart clicked almost from the moment we  
304 ~ Melody Carlson  

met.  I didn't even quite believe it myself, at first."  He

touched the ring on her finger.  "I very carefully traced a ring

you left sitting in your kitchen window sill when we were

cleaning up after Thanksgiving, and I bought this while I was

in Seattle.  I loved its elegant simplicity-it reminded me of

you."  He smiled warmly down on her, then tenderly gath-

ered her into his arms and kissed her for a long and incred-

ible moment where the rest of the world seemed to spin

totally away.  When they finally pulled apart, she heard a

series of loud explosions and looked up to see colorful fire-

works lighting up the night sky and reflecting softly in the

snow below.  

"Wow!"  she exclaimed breathlessly.  "I always knew that

every time we kissed I'd see fireworks, but this is truly  

amazing!"  

He laughed happily.  "Happy New Year, Maggie!"  

"Happy New Year, Jed!  Somehow, I feel certain it's going

to be the best year everl"  
A  

Melody Carlson is an award-winning author of

more than 40 books, from novels to children's stories,

including Homeward and King of the Stable.  When not

writing, she enjoys skiing, hiking, and boating.  Melody

lives in Oregon with her husband and their two sons.  

4  
Ijarvest iloilse pu~ishers  

For the Best in Inspirational Fiction  

	Linda Chaikin	Lori Wick

	TRADE WINDS	A PLACE CALLED ~OME

	Captive Heart	A Place Called

A Song for Silas  

	Silver Drearns	The Long Road Home

	Island Bride	A Gathering of Memories

A DAY TO REMEMBER  

	Monday's Cl'ild	THE CALIFORNIANS

	 	W~atever Tomorrow Brings

	Tuesday's Cl'ild	As Time Goes By

	G. Roger Corey	Sean Donovan

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	 	KENSINGTON CHRONICLES

	Melody Carison	The Hawk and the Jewel

	Aplace to Come Home To	Wings of the Morning

	Everything1 Long For	Who Brings Forth the Wind

	 	The Knight and the Dove

ROCFY MOUNTAIN MEMORIES  

Where the Wild Rose Blooms

Whispers of Moonlight

To Know Her by Name

Promise Me Tomorrow  

THE YELLOW ROSE TRILOGY

Every Little Thing About You  

CONTEMPORARY ~IClION

Sophie's Heart  

Beyond the Picket Fence

Pretense  

The Princess