Tensegrity Seminars

Women's Workshop - March 1996 [ 1996 Index | Previous | Next ] To:   The Ixtlan Mailing List Date:   Tue, 5 Mar 1996 02:06:29 -0500 hello my male friends! the workshop jumped right into a great start with carlos giving a lecture. he said the position of the ap is opposite in men than in women. i don't remember if it's the shiny side in for women and out for men, or the other way 'round. the point is that because of this, men and women "perceive" the world in entirely different ways. he talked of the how the universe was female, and that the male is an extension of the female. he stated that the christian philosphy about women coming from mans' rib was nonsense, it was the other way 'round. men are an extension of us. he talked of how males are rarities, and because of this, they have elevated themselves to this point of importance. have subdued women, that society trains women to be of service to men. he says we are trained to forget or ignore the second function of the womb. that second function is that the womb is a "thinking" organ. not thinking as in "mind" but that it perceives. he said men are frail, that women have this large vast underlying area from which to pull from. men have to work their entire lives to see. and they see with the entirety of their bodies. whereas women see all the time.. with their wombs, but that we have been trained in the social order to not be aware of this. and that we should never allow a man to "dominate" us.. but that we should understand their fraility. males are rare, and they are frail. the social order in one way is designed to protect them. they are always looking for "mommy". :) and who raises these boys? women. it is ridiculous. we raise our little boys to keep us in our "place". he said that men and women have to work in unison for anything to work. and that when men see, they put it into a structure, whereas us women, we see and it is like "so?" because we see all the time. men categorize, taxonomy. they go on forever with it. which we have all seen on these lists... he said that mankind is on the way out, and the only way to survive is with evolution. but that it is the women who can create this evolution. women are the driving force. and men are the ones to implement what the women "see". so to speak. this email is from my own memory. i did not take verbatem notes.. and this is basically, the way i understood what his words were.. and also, some of it is his direct words. naturally, someone asked about their husband.. their kids. carlos said that he didn't want to see 50 divorces take place, but that we should not let the male dominate us. he said courtship takes all our energy. and why? if you want sex, then have it, but don't put in all the courtship "relationship" "love" thing.. if you don't like sex, then tell the your husband to go have it with someone else. he said women are trained in the social order to hate each other. to be competitive. he said that they are friends and all loving with each other, but then when a male enters the scene.. well.. all that goes out the window. :) women are the only ones who can do the evolution thing. it is up to us. he had us all laughing with acting out his talk about how a man does anything to a women, and then when the women is angry, he just has to act like a "poor baby" and the women forgive them and go to take care of them.. it was hilarious. :) but very true! he suggested to the women in relationships.. married or whathaveyou, to go without sex, and just see what happens. taisha abelar spoke the next morning. this is more difficult to remember. i'm not quite a "morning" person! :) she talked about her time in the trees.. and how after accumulating enough silence, she saw two female beings standing by her. she felt total affection and "safeness" from them.. she said they were scouts. she once asked them to take her to where they came from and she traveled down a tube. tunnel. they call this the "junkyard" of the universe. it is filled with all sorts of unrecognizable things.. anyway, there was a light at the end of this tunnel. she also said these were the two she has names for.. but i never seem to remember their names.. but you all remember hearing about them before. she said women are tubes. they have direct access and "membership" in the inorganics world. the inorganics world is a parallel world to our own. she said that any women who remains in total silence from anywhere from 10 minutes to an hour will see this tube entrance to that other world. but don juan had told her not to travel it if she didn't feel she had the energy. one can get lost in that world and never return. she said that the silence a woman holds before that tube appears gives her the sobriety needed to travel it.. where as men have to work years to gain that sobriety. florinda donner grau. ah. she talked about fucking. :) had us in tears of laughter! :) she talked about an abstract energy that don juan called the wind. she told us an absolutely hilarious story about how don juan told her to spread her legs to the wind. i dont' think i could really repeat the entire story.. but she was with old florinda and don juan. and don juan asked her if she wanted to see what the "wind" did to (old)florindas' pussy. and of course florinda was shocked and thinking "dirty old man" and all that.. that next he'd be pulling out his penis. which of course, after he told old florinda to show her her pussy, he did show her his penis. we were in stitches at this point.. she delivered this story with such elegance, and her pantomined outrage was hilarious! anyway, nelida was there as well, and admonished don juan. said "you shouldn't talk to her that way. it is not a wind, it is an abstract energy" well.. old florinda took florinda out to the courtyard and had her take her panties off, lift her dress and lay exposed for the "wind". also, don juan told her she should never wear panties. and florinda said.. "what about discharge?!" and don juan said that all those female complaints, are because women only use their womb for one function, that the womb is ill because of not using it's second funciton. or something to that affect.. anyway.. so florinda's lying there, and falls asleep. next thing she knows.. she's being fucked. (that's her words.. :) and she starts screaming and yelling.. thinking one of those "mexicans" got her! :) well.. the whole point is that there is an abstract energy that women should open themselves up to. well... she didn't want us all going out there and doing this.. i believe one needs an amount of accumulated silence for this, but evidently, she wanted us to be aware of this. she said they called old florinda "florindabate" ahahhaahahh! :) also, she said that it can come into your house. we don't need to be outside. carol tiggs. again, a morning talk.. so i was not quite all together.. she talked about how her and carlos had to be together. (evidently something don juan had told them) but that they argued constantly! she told us three stories to illustrate the womb. those stories were about that world the two of them have gone where she has a husband and a child. where she and carlos are recognized. she said she talked to don juan about this, and he said that they weren't people, that when one's assemblage point moves to perceive another world, it automatically interprets that world into something familiar. he said she could see that world more clearly than carlos using the perception of her womb. she doubted this.. but one day, she slipped to that world, and it was all fragments, and she couldn't really make heads or tails out of what she was "seeing" but then something else rearranged the whole order of it, and she saw the house that they always dreamed to. she said that whenever in another realm, to return, you have to retrace your steps back to where you entered it from. i wish i could remember more. i know inside i have been highly affected, but i cannot really remember. she looked younger than in oct. about 30 at the most. actually, she was quite beautiful. the blue scout. i was affected immediately when she walked on stage. she read a chapter from carlos' new book. it was great. i was nearly put to sleep.. no.. that's not quite right. the affect of her kept me nearly in a sleep state.. i would close my eyes, but then it always came to a point where i felt i was going to fly off.. and so i'd open my eyes and try to remain cognizant. i didn't think she looked at all like carlos or carol. she had grey hair. she was just.. powerful. i cannot describe. we learned the passes from each woman. the blue scouts were by far the most powerful. everytime we did them, and you know how we do them over and over, everytime i swore i was going to pass out. a person i was somewhat there with, i mentioned this to.. she said she felt the same way. at the time we attributed it to exhaustion, as this was sunday afternoon.. the last session.. but now i know it was not. for as i do her passes even now.. i get the same total light headedness. sat evening taisha and florinda spoke, and answered questions. stalking. dreaming. they said that this stuff about "i'm a stalker, and i'm a dreamer" is not right. we are or need to be both. a stalker fixes the ap into place, the dreamer moves it. dreaming attention has nothing to do with the dream. the dreams contents don't matter. that one should not be striving to control dreams, but to control ones attention in the dream. taisha had to stalk being a female after her tree thing. living in the trees for a year and a half had twisted her ap so they had her stalk the female position in order to untwist it. this entailed finding all and everything it entailed to be a women in her day and age. she went to parties, and learned to flirt. flirting she said is allowing the womb to express or flow out through the body. female energy. which of course, males respond to. :) the final lecture. carlos. he talked about the flyers. also, constantly repeating to us from friday to sunday that we are beings who are going to die. it is not negative he said. but that it gives us an option. we have nothing to lose. in fridays lecture he said women can naturally tune out the flow of the world. "you get angry, you tune out your boyfriend" he said and proposed to us "what would happen if you just tuned it all out for no reason. not in anger, not in pity, but just for the hell of it." well.. back to sunday. :) he said that our entire minds are the installation of an alien entity. it is an organic entity but has no structure. (body) he said with recap, we find out what they've done to us. what we are. and that when we do that, and fight this "mind" we then have options. he said we exist on a small space called the social order. and he wants us to pull away from that social order to the deeper levels. he said the entire social order is manufactured by the flyers. they eat our awareness down to our toes. (back to friday.. he said energy has nothing to do with being fat, or skinny, but when he talks of a persons energy, he means the finite amount of energy contained within our luminous sphere) anyway, awareness is not energy.. he said when we are born, the flyers immediately push our energy bodies away from us.. because if they didn't, the energy body would see and recognize the flyers.. and stop them from feeding. he said we are born with a sheen of awareness that covers our entire luminous sphere, but the flyers eat it down. the sorcerers.. warrior works to bring that awareness back. but that it is a fight for life. as the chacmools have shown us. one small instant, one moment of breaking that fight, and the flyers instantly devour our awareness back to our toes. he said that once we raise our awareness we find we have options. the social order space that we exist in gives us none. we are what the flyers have installed in us. we have no choice but to be who or what our "minds" are. and our minds are a foreign installation. as we fight this, ah.. he told a story to illustrate. he needed to see a dentist. but his trusted dentist had died. so, his options. he said.. ah.. hard to remember the words! something about intent, spirit.. or, to act in the social order and call a dentist for an appointment. options. we have none as it is now. but raise that awareness and we no longer *have* to be who we are believed to be. he talked alot about things, and had us laughing.. he said he sees us getting crushed down and has to lighten us up.. but the only way to talk about the flyers is with complete sobriety. i remember more about carol. she talked about evolution. what is it? she says no one really knows.. the dinosaurs intended their evolution, and became birds. she said women are who will bring about the evolution of mankind. someone said to carlos that mankind was such a small space on the bands of the universe.. why worry about it? he said that he doesn't.. but that he is a man himself. he said that we (humans) are exqusite beings.. i think it just comes down to his predilection, and affection.. i mean, i feel the same way in a sense. for humankind. someone asked carlos what discipline was. since discipline is what we need to use to fight the flyers. he said that by discipline he didn't mean like, ah.. that discipline was the sustaining of a mood. not like making or forcing yourself to do something.. but that is was sustaining constantly.. sustaining the fight. this workshop and what they said i understood it in a different way than i ever have before. i had a slight horror of realization when being driven down the freeway in my shuttle to the airport. that i was speeding along in a vehicle driven by someone who's mind was totally of a forgein installation. i can no longer take the actions of the social order seriously when all i can think as i am talking to someone, that i am dealing with a foreign installation. they (whoever i'm dealing with) is who they are, and acting as they are because they have no option. how can i be angry over their words or actions when it is the product of a foreign installation designed to keep them as cattle for feed? i cannot. this workshop has changed me at a level deeper than any before. i feel something else for these people i meet and talk to.. interact with. and it has become a folly. in the sense that, i do not feel glued.. stuck.. attached to the social order. how can i? of course, i may lack a moment of sobriety and be eaten to my toes, and then be caught back up in a mind that is not mine. carlos says our entire minds are an installation of the flyers. i believe him. there is so much more.. but i cannot remember all of it. oh.. carlos did talk about his oakland thing. i understand it much better now. he said that they don't have the energy like don juan did, because don juan was focusing only on his lineage. he said that people saying they were taught by don juan are full of it, because don juan was not a teacher. he was interested ONLY in prepetuating his lineage, and once he had gathered the people he needed, he was done with it. well.. like i said, alot of this is my interpretation. i send it to you, some have asked for it, some i just felt to.. a lot of stress was placed on the social order of women and men. as carlos says, he is only the chauffer.. it is the women who direct him. i feel it important for the male warrior to understand his position, and the womens' position. it is not a power fight. it is not a competition. it is not women trying to be men, as the women libbers do. :) men put things into structure. and women are the driving force. somewhere inside of me those sorcerers have told me about the male being frail. the male being rare. and some where inside of me i feel this. but i cannot utilize this. i have the utmost affection for all of you.. and hope some of this may aid you in your own fight against the flyers, and your own move towards freedom. as carlos stated, we are equal beings. it just takes men longer to arrive at certain points. hedgehog P.S. i realize i never really followed through on the florinda lecture.. the part about don juan telling florinda not to wear panties.. :) it was just something that followed through in my writing of her lecture. it was part of a hilarious story.. and for any of you thinking we're all going around without our panties.. i doubt it! hahahahahah! she said she was wearing hers.. and that it didn't matter.. they talked about the four people don juan had been for them, and with florinda, he crushed her "world" so to speak.. and i interpret that remark was part of that. 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