Tensegrity Seminars

Los Angeles (5) - August 1995 [ 1995 Index | Previous | Next ] To:   alt.dreams.castaneda Date:   7 Aug 1995 12:22:16 -0400 Culver City High Lecture - Sunday, August 6th Carol Tiggs, Taisha, and Florinda are here, along with a large contingent of the Cleargreen people. There are several men who are sitting in the second row behind the women. There is a young girl in the front row, who fits the description we have been given of the orange scout, sitting next to an ethereal young woman who fits the description we have been given of the blue scout. There is a woman with red hair in the front row sitting next to Carol (I'm not sure who that is). The Chacmools came in last flanking Carlos, who was dressed in a suit. Carlos took the stage. "What are you doing way back there?", he said. I wanted to be right over you. "Now I will have to SHOUT." "Who set up the chairs?" Someone says: "Fabrizio". Several people started suggesting that we move the chairs. Carlos kept hesitating, seeming to think it would take too long and cause too much chaos (There are about 250 people in here). Finally, we all scooted our chairs forward, crowding toward the stage. Carlos began by saying he wanted to talk about the warriors way, and answer questions about it. He said that he did not want to answer questions that are have only personal relevance. He wanted us to ask questions that have to with the general PRACTICE of sorcery techniques. Let me say before going forward that I did not take all that many notes. Carlos lectured, speaking rapidly, for two hours, and answered questions for an hour after that. What I say is going to be very sketchy. Many of my notes are just fragments, but several times I tried to get exact quotes. I left out many of the anecdotes completely. For a more complete version, read Rich's notes. "Dreaming is a very serious affair." It comes to all of us provided we involve our discipline. Lucid dreaming deals with self-reflection (as opposed to a sorcerers dreaming). Personal comment: he did not define what he meant by "lucid dreaming", and personally I took him to mean "vivid dreaming where one is aware that one is dreaming, and plays around with the dreaming scene". A sorcerer's dreaming, by contrast, is very purposeful, and disciplined, and consists of performing specific volitional acts. (At least, this is how I get it) "Sorcerers curtail the ego." He said that if we start getting into our ME, ME, ME routine, that he might say something to us that seems a bit harsh. "If I do something to you, it's designed to make you stop for a second...DJ was an artist of the maneuver of stopping us". He talked about how, as Joe Cortez, he went to see an astrologer, and was told that he was a mess, and that he would need his chakra's aligned or some such thing. He came back about 6 months later as Carlos Castaneda, and this time the astrologer went on and on about his beautiful, spiritual aspects, and his brilliance, comparing him to her guru, etc. He talked about some of the letters he has received. An example: "My spiritual advisor told me my energy is just like yours. You want me?" He talked about when he went to give a lecture to a group of "Spaniards", who confronted him with a very serious demeanor, set stone-faced through his best jokes, etc. One man stood up and asked him: "What do you see?" Carlos is like..."what?". The man repeats: "What do you see!?". Carlos finally says: "Um, I see you." The man says: "Don't you see that I'm just like you---you have three compartments (of energy), and I have five!". Carlos quips: "How could I be so dumb to only see a turd (?)?" He talked about how nothing personal has relevance, and went on about "the encumbering weight of ME". By focusing on this, "we have let something win by default", and will never actualize our possibilities. He told us: "you took the trouble of coming all this way; make it worthwhile...". Go back with the sensation that it is worthwhile to get rid of this encumbering weight. "Make this time in this world extraordinary". He talked some about reincarnation. He said, "that's putting too much emphasis on us". He said that the idea of coming back over and over until we are "perfect" is absurd. "Perfect for what?", he asked. "Enjoying forever the presence of God? Absurd." He also noted that reincarnation "puts too much emphasis on man", as other species are thought merely to evolve into us. Besides, he said DJ used to ask him: "Where is this perfect man? Where?" pointing out that if it were true, there ought to be at least a few men running around who are very nearly "perfected". He said that the "fleeting images" many people have of past lives "come from your genetic frame". Why couldn't they be coming from your grandmother's life, for example? He talked again about how our ideologies are absurd, and said that sorcerers have "the desire to really think, not merely repeat empty ideologies". Sorcerers "Come down to earth." They are "pragmatic", and "sober". Then he talked about people who are "bored fucks". He said that if you were conceived in "passion" then you have lots of energy, but if you were conceived in other circumstances (and he went into several humorous scenarios here), you will not have much energy. He said that you will have lots of energy "especially if the mother is excited". He said: "if she has an orgasm, you are in great shape". DJ told Carlos that he (Carlos) was a bored fuck. And Carlos said that when he began to think about his parents, "he got desparate". His parents seemed so dull that he thought: "wow, I was done for!" But don Juan told him: "Don't spend your energy. Hold on to it and a moment will come when your power is equal to the best." Nothing is final in the sorcerers world. "But the first stand is to know which you are." He talked about how we always wind up doing what our parents want, one way or another, no matter how much we may petulantly protest against our parents. He said that anger is the idiotic way of protesting. The sorcerer has: "the refusal to surrender". He said that even if you are a bored fuck, "there is enough". He said that DJ told him sorcerers seek "a chance to go through". Go through what? Here he mentioned "the force that lends us awareness---the moment we die it reclaims it", and that "it has lent you energy to enhance it." Then he talked about how this force just wants the enhanced energy from the experiences of our lives, but "that doesn't mean it has to take our life force". He said: "life experience and life force don't go together; it's not necessarily so." The sorcerers maneuver for taking advantage of this is the recapitulation, where sorcerers "relive their life experiences". In doing this, "they are giving the force that lends us energy what it wants". He spoke briefly about just where a sorcerer goes instead of dying the way most people do. He always asked don Juan where sorcerers went when they take this option. "Where?" He said: "I don't know...But don't be an idiot, take it!". He talked about how most of us don't really live the dreams of our lives, and said that most of us live "sitting in our chair". He gave us some example stories of people who had dreams of doing things and going places, who only READ all about it, and then did not even want to do it. He said that wasn't the way for sorcerers, and that "we have to be there". He said don't sit and hesitate, wondering what is in it for you, and what about this and that, that "when a new door opens, take it!". None of this endless procrastination with: "Why should I do this?" "Where will this get me?" What's next?" Rather, he said: "just take it". Speaking of just what it is that a sorcerer "gets" out of doing this, he said: "whatever you gain is indescribable". He said that for sorcerers: "the recapitulation is mandatory." In doing this it is important that "he creates a facsimile of life, that is accepted by that force." In doing his own recapitulation, Carlos said that "it put me face to face with my repetition", and "I had very few maneuvers at my disposal". Don Juan said something along the lines of "Hey, don't give up! You have two tricks; most only have one". Carlos said that his main trick was his "poor baby" routine. He talked about how his grandfather sponsored this in him, but he had forgotten about it, and adopted it as if it were his own. He said that he had also forgotten "all the barbarities that went with that maneuver", and emphasized how astounding it was to see himself so repetitive. The recapitulation forces the assemblage point to move ever so slightly. This eventually "lends it a great fluidity". In doing the recapitulation, first "set up the image in your mind". Just take a person and get all the details of the interaction. Set up the scene first... Get the general scene...the door...the walls...pictures on the walls?...carpeting? windows?...etc. This is called "setting up the scene". Then "breathe in everything that you left in there" and "exhale everything that is not yours". First "breathe in the scene", and "then tackle the people---get what they said--- what you said". Get everything you felt. Carlos said that in recapitulating he "got back in time to the first time I ever felt (a particular feeling)". He said that eventually he reached the ability to get "inconceivable detail". At the end, "you are not the same person". He warned us that you will "get tired, disgusted", but to "keep at it". The mind gets fatigued and will start whining "quit, quit!" But "just keep at it". In the end, "the fluidity you acquire is really indescribable". With regard to DJ, Carlos said that eventually he got to a pragmatic level, and said: "I'm following this man's assertions to the best of my ability", because he wanted to fight this force that is destroying me (or something to that effect). Carlos said: "unless you dedicate every beating of your heart...it will get you." He said that anything less than this is a bunch of horsefeathers. He praised don Juan's impeccability, saying that he still feels "I could never be like him--- he will forever be a lifetime ahead of me." Following the warriors way will allow you to make "a probe, a query". It will at very least "allow you to get old with more style". The sorcerer is "the only being that doesn't leave a single stone unturned." On the other hand, science: "will not cure us from self-reflection." Don Juan used to ask Carlos: "What have they done to you?" Carlos spoke of what bad shape we are in and of how we are supposed to "love ourselves", and noted: "what a terrifying contradiction!" "The sorcerers first line of attack is self-reflection." "It has to be stopped or minimized." "Your 'wonderfulness' is not congruous with a journey to infinity." This is why "questions must refer to what we are doing." DJ "demanded that I pay attention to every detail of the world and what we were doing." If we talk about an event, "make the event the main character, not you." For a sorcerer, "the man no longer exists", and "the others are feeding material for the flyers." What we are trying to do with Tensegrity is to "entice a different kind of physical force." He spoke of generating "the energy that makes you shake". Carlos said "it's not the muscle; it's something else", and related how he has asked physiology experts about this "something else" without getting a satisfactory answer. He showed us in motions the difference between ordinary muscle actions and the quick tensing movements of Tensegrity. Carlos began to exhort us to try harder, saying "really go all the way". He claimed that "most of us know that the world will not get better". He spoke of how there might be younger people still harboring dreams of "love", but that most of us are old enough to know that things really won't get any better as we are. So...he said to: "execute the movements to perfection". If we do, this will "create a state of profound physical and mental amenity". Then we can "take a tiny...just a minor...jump", to where he is (did I get this right?). The two main items are: The magical passes and The recapitulation He simply spelled it out. If you do these things, "avenues, doors begin to open...mysterious doors." He said "I needed don Juan because I needed to explain to you..." but you don't need anyone. Fragment: Carlos said: "my mind doesn't wander, ever." (My mind must have been wandering) Then Carlos talked about the "twenty eight generations" of warriors in his line, and how he "must close it". He said: "I must lock it." He emphasized that this is something he takes totally seriously. This came about when don Juan was pointed to him by the spirit, and had to take him. They found out that he was not of the proper configuration for a nagual to pass on the rule as given. He said that DJ was "stuck with him" and "had to do with what he had." "Destiny, the spirit, had put in front of him the last link of the chain...he poured on me everything he had." The main issue is "impeccability--- the decision to act the best way we can and a little bit more". If "nothing is too much" you are in the realm of impeccability. In this realm, "no matter what comes", you take it as a challenge. If it defeats you, "waste no time in laments", and "go to the next one". Impeccability is "fluidity". It is "no regrets". To do your ultimate best you have to know who you are. Hence: the recapitulation. And you have to be in good shape: the magical passes. The passes entail "years of labor, thought, and intent." "I'm closing the line. This is my way of locking the door...Otherwise only a few will experience it." "Perhaps we will do more than don Juan ever dreamed...who knows?" "We will talk more as you do the exercises and see what I can tell you next week." Question and answer period. My notes are even more limited here. Q: "Why are there no men in your party?" Carlos has all the men rise (there are 6 or 7 of them---I don't know them all). Q: "You have all this help...we don't. How can we do this by ourselves?" You don't need anyone. You need "intent". You need a "sense of desperation". That is what you need "in order to move". You need to feel "this is your last chance", "your last call". DJ said: "you are facing infinity". He gave us a "rule of thumb": "if you have no place to go except onward in the warrior's path...then you face infinity." You have to feel "what would I do?" (without the warrior's way). Feel the "despair". "Where are you going to go?" Without it... you are heading toward your heart attack. Your only real choice is to "impeccably remain within this warrior's path." Otherwise, "what are you looking forward to?" Q: What happened to the old party (the genaro's, the little sisters...)? "They were not congruous with me. He explained that "whoever is with me will have to learn to read" (serious reading). The others thought he was insane and told him to "blow his barracks". They tried to get him to come with them. They were simply taught to be pragmatic sorcerers. But Carlos said that DJ "brought a revolution, and you have to be very sharp to grasp it." Evidently, Carlos kept trying to pull them in his direction, and they kept trying to pull him in theirs, and Carlos "spent years in this stupid battle trying to pull them toward him". In the end, "they gave up---and don Juan scooped them up". He swooped down like an eagle and just took them. "Where?" "I have no idea. I have all kinds of speculations." Possible: "in another of the thousands of skins" (of the onion). Wherever they are, they are "infinitely better off than my grandfather". Q: We are constantly living. Should we continually recapitulate all our experiences as we live them? YES! "Constantly recapitulate what you have done--- at the end of every day"---in a matter of half an hour--- do it "compulsively"---"religiously every day"---then "carry on with the main event" (your formal recap of the past). Re: the details of the procedure: The favorite trick of the mind is: "I'm so confused." "Do not fixate yourself on little details." "Do it!" Q: Someone asked about Dreaming... "If you have enough energy, you could acquire dreaming awareness. Dreaming is: "the intelligent utilization of a natural disposition of the assemblage point to move in normal sleep." Sorcerers "do not control where the A.P. moves, they simply control the vision at the new position. This "requires discipline---to maintain the vision of that new world." It requires "balls of steel". "Shift---and keep it there, and see what the hell happens." "Maybe someday we'll have a dreaming seminar." "Who knows! I am the last." The ultimate act of sorcery is: "dreaming ourselves." Q: Someone asked something about what we should do with our intellect... He said to use the intellect, write papers. He said to write intellectually about whatever it is that you do. He described a scenario of using the intellect carefully and diligently every day from 8:00-5:00 and then "at five o'clock, you are the being who is going to die." Q: Another question about him being the end of his line... He said that DJ "read my energy to be the end of his line", and that "it is the natural condition of order to come to an end, and that "his lineage, as an order, came to an end." Carlos noted that it often made him "feel like weeping", and told us not to mind if he did that, that it is really good for you, and gets rid of toxins and such. In response to questions, Carlos talked about the flyers, and how they eat our awareness rather systematically, as if we are chickens in coops (organized conveniently in cities for them), and he reemphasized how it is the flyers that give us our ideals, and how terrible this is. He talked a bit about DJ's conception of "heaven". And he told us about "the pace of heaven" - and mimicked the way everyone must walk in a slow and peaceful dream "for eternity". He talked about how no one must make any noise, and must keep very quiet, "just like here". He described how it could be compared to "Jewish store", where the storekeeper had two sons: One was St. Peter, the "good son" who kept the books and such, while the other was out on the streets selling (this would be Lucifer). Again, he is illustrating the absurdity of the ideologies man has been fixating on for centuries, due to the flyers. He notes, that with such ideals, we have "no time to ponder anything else". He talked about how the people down in Mexico were worried that he was going to drain their energy to make himself stronger. He said that this really is not possible. He spoke of how "we are contained units"--- thus a sorcerer's "attempt to transcend those boundaries". He said that "energy can only come via you", and to "clear the debris, and allow the energy to stand on it's own, noting that if you clear out 90% of the "horseshit" you do, you will have 90% more energy. Q: Someone asked about intending ourselves forward, ala the Death Defier... He said that we are going to talk more about the Death Defier, and that we are even going to learn two of the Death Defier's magical passes. Q: Someone asked why they would still have to work normal jobs as a sorcerer? "Why still work?" "Your impeccable gesture." "We would like to pass by without being noticed." It is just "a gesture with this exquisite world" to work. He made some fun of this question, as it is "from the toes". Q: About cyclic beings... "All of us are united with others by a single strand of energy". This "makes us so homogenous that we are one and the same person". Carlos said it is difficult to find who are those beings. He recounted a story from a Separate Reality where he went to plant a plant he was given and was acosted by three "entities" who were assuming the form of people. I believe he then made the point that those entities were cyclic beings for him, "attached to the same wheel" as he was. He said: "some of us know where we belong to". He related that: "the lines of cyclicity transcend this world---they go into infinity". Cyclic beings are like: "one mind in two persons". At this point he asked if we would like to see two cyclic beings, and he had the two people that we think are the orange and the blue scout stand up, and face the crowd. There was a definite similarity somehow, even though they are also quite different. Q: A person asked a long question about the fear of leaving behind the familiar world... Carlos said yes, that this is "frightening for the ego". He said that one can "suppress the self-reflection, and there is no fear." A fragment: "chuck it all---let the movements flow". Q: about the inorganic beings... He avoided this question, saying that we are going to talk extensively about them later. He did mention that DJ promoted "an aversion to the inorganic beings". Q: about seeing animals, and what they are like and what they share or don't share with man... Carlos said that in animals, the sheen of awareness is different, so sorcerers can't completely SEE it. He said he used to ask DJ questions like that, and DJ always said he couldn't answer them. He said that "he could see the bulk of energy, but not the details". Carlos said that it would require greater "mass" to SEE across lines of speciation like that. Here followed a detailed discussion of how through the ages sorcerers have never had enough mass (owing to their being so few of them), to do many things. Carlos said: "if enough mass was involved, we could cut across lines of speciation---mass is of essence." He said that DJ could never do this, and noted that perhaps he "left it up to me" (he noted how we may be gathering the mass now, as after all there are 250 or so people in the room). He went back to talking about the movements, and said: "do them impeccably, over and over and over". "That's the challenge; that's the test" (and here I am typing this monumental thing, damn). Carlos said that "our biological mandate is to reproduce", but now it is "time to turn it into another mandate equally powerful: to evolve". He spoke of how we are "being stopped as a race", and of how we would need to evolve FIRST, and then reproduce. He told us to "examine the social order", saying "the social order is our shield", but "it no longer protects us as a race". Therefore: "it is time to evolve". Fragment: "The Flyers are the Lord". This is..."a terrifying position". Q: How much Tensegrity is enough? Do "as much as you can". Carlos told us to "use the mass" (of all the people doing it together), observing that "we are cushioned" (in this group). Here, together, we are "oozing this millieu of energy--- but go home and you are alone." Q: about the spirit... The spirit is something you "cannot see" and "cannot feel". You can say that "something allows you to use some unseen force", and you can notice when it acts, as "the effects of the spirit are palpable." Carlos said, "sorcerers can't see it as energy---only the results." He speculated that if our large gathering here leaves some major result at the end: "that would be a manifestation". One can not say "there that is the spirit, right there", rather one notices "post facto--- after it happens" and says "this is the spirit ---it's unavoidable". The intent of the passes is to "displace the assemblage point to ideal locations within the luminous egg. He talked of how there are other positions obtainable that are actually outside the egg, but maintained that what we are interested in with Tensegrity is to "remain truthful to what we are, but grow in strength, in sobriety." Q: about disabilities or injuries in relation to Tensegrity... He reiterated what the Chacmools had said, not to strain. He said that if one body part is injured or incapacitated, to use another part. If you can't move one thing, move something else. He went back to talking about "mass", and about how if you have "total conviction", then "all you need is presence---then something inconceivable will happen. He gave the example of research that has been done on ant colonies, where when there were 50 ants together, they all just wandered around, but when there were 52, they metamorphosed into an intelligent working system. Sorcerers of the past have never been able to gather much mass. Working with the rule, and accepting only those pointed out by the spirit, their numbers have always been small. Carlos left me with distinct impression that no one really knows what the possibilities are, should we actually succeed in attaining "mass". That is all I wrote down, and I didn't write even half of it. Whew. - David ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To:      alt.dreams.castaneda Date:    24 Aug 1995 14:03:01 -0400 At the workshop, Carlos mentioned that the man who first brought him to don Juan had died not too long afterwards, and he told us that don Juan had *seen* that the man was about to die. This was related to us as being the first in a series of what Carlos said were many omens and discoveries that led don Juan to the *inescapable* conclusion that Castaneda was to be the end of his lineage. So, it was there even in the beginning...and cannot by any means be attributed to the actions or personality of Carlos, as it was don Juan who first made the discovery, long ago. Carlos told us this early in the workshop, saying: "don Juan read my energy to be the end of his line", and "it is the natural condition of order to come to an end". And because it is the end, he has an intense drive to give the knowledge to as many people as he possibly can, so that it doesn't just end with them. It was revealed publicly, as long ago as the Eagle's Gift, that don Juan knew that Carlos was not the right energy configuration for a Nagual man of their lineage, and for this reason could not lead the party that had been gathered for him. At the workshop, Carlos said that don Juan knew by then that the spirit had put the last link of the chain in front of him. Carlos has described his and don Juan's intent for the end of this lineage as being like an "open-ended explosion". Now, thinking about it, this has *always* been evident. Witness the long series of best-selling books, which are truly unprecedented in the world of sorcery. From the beginning, Carlos created a huge opening into that world. Carlos has reported that behind that obvious gesture was don Juan, who had him write those books, as acts of sorcery. But why publish them far and wide? For the few who could jump at a chance to have a chance. And so, it was known for many years that Carlos was to be the end. The spirit had spoken, and don Juan's task to Carlos clearly reflects what had been said: "Take it to the masses". At the workshop, Carlos related that, since don Juan knew he was to be the end, "he poured on me everything he had". And Carlos has, to a large extent, poured it on us. First with all those books, and now with Tensegrity. Tensegrity is fully consistent with this thrust, with this attempt to go out "with a bang". This is something never tried before. And if it works, it will be, Carlos said, "something never seen before". At one point he wondered aloud, "who knows, we may do things don Juan never dreamed of". We were told at the workshop that Tensegrity is a gate. A door. If you would make a bid for the sorcerers' world, it is an avenue. Carlos said to those who came, "this is your bid". To do Tensegrity, he said, "is the test". If you do it, and if you succeed in raising your awareness, then he will find you, and he made it clear that in this case, he is "obligated to do everything in his power for you". Sound good? Yeah. But to walk through that door will require us to work harder than we could ever have imagined. Will we? Carlos reported that don Juan said he would "remake himself ten times over for the chance to have a chance". Will we? Or is playing "net personalities" arguing possibilities really much more appealing than working our balls off every day of our lives? (Aside in speculation mode: Regarding the daily practice of Tensegrity... Since the techniques were discovered in Dreaming, and were intended to bring the well-being of Dreaming into the daily life, it follows that the lives of those who practice it will become more and more "like Dreaming". One of the noticeable effects of this should be arriving at states of internal silence, since in Dreaming one is much more silent. Carlos also mentioned that if you do Tensegrity, "the crazy thoughts will come". I think I have experienced a couple of times what he is talking about. One simple way of describing it would be to say that something like the Dreaming attention starts to function in conjunction with one's normal thought processes, i.e. you start having lapses of dreamlike states in the middle of full waking consciousness. Another way of describing what I have experienced would be to say that I started feeling like I was somehow becoming extended into the environment around me, and thinking, as if from the point of view of other parts of the environment, in strange *bodily feelings*. For example, to *feel* like a lamp would *think* about light flowing out of me, or to *feel* like the air would *think* after just passing through a fan, maybe in the form of a funny little song, or...well they are kind of crazy. Expansive *bodily thoughts*. Lightening fast. One after another, as if one is melting into the environment. As fast as you realize one has happened, another one is upon you. Hmmm...that was a long one.) There were hundreds of people who attended this latest intensive workshop, and Carlos came to them *every day* to pour himself upon them, plainly doing just what he said: bypassing his mind to bypass their minds, to speak with his energy body directly to theirs. It jibes. He is deadly serious. He is looking for "mass". He is trying to actively foster this "open-ended explosion". And think of it! What if it worked! Try to imagine what *hundreds* of sorcerers might be capable of! He gave us examples of ancient cities where whole populations had flown away into the second attention. (Aside in speculation mode: It even follows that some of these sorcerers *might* be Naguals themselves. Who knows, there might be half a dozen Nagual men and women involved in such a mass exodus. But there would be no traditional party gathered for them, and their presence would *not* change the open-ended nature of the end of Carlos' direct lineage, because it was dictated by the spirit long ago that it is to be blown wide open.) One other factor here makes it very apparent that this really is the end of their lineage... The Death Defier, who had taken energy from their lineage for many generations, also came to realize that Carlos was to be the end of this lineage, and this was his reason for "merging" with Carol (see the end of the Art of Dreaming). At the workshop, Carlos explained that the Death Defier knew that his source of energy was running out, and that he would have to put his money on them. It makes sense. If they are not the end, then why is even the Death Defier packing his bags and jumping on the train? In the last chapter of the Art of Dreaming, don Juan tells Carlos that due to what the Death Defier has done, he would eventually arrive at "another time, in another world; a more vast world, open-ended; a world where the impossible might even be feasible." That time may be coming soon. (Aside in speculation mode: Thinking about it, it now seems very clear that Carol Tiggs didn't leave with don Juan's party at all, and at the end of the Art of Dreaming, when don Juan said: "she's gone from the world", well, she was! So Carol left *before* don Juan's party, when she merged with the Death Defier and flew forward on the Wings of Intent, only to shock the hell out of Carlos by "landing" 10 years later, then finding him in the old Phoenix bookstore in LA. I only call this "speculation" because I don't recall it being explicitly stated in this way. ) The end of the Art of Dreaming contains other clues to the possible nature of the "open-ended explosion": Carlos, to Carol: "I am coming apart...I am about to weep for people... I intended it as a joke. But she did not say anything; she seemed to agree with me." Carol, to Carlos: "Fear is nothing compared with affection. Fear makes you run wildly; love makes you move intelligently." Both of those quotes are from the time when they were "intending in the second attention", of which Carol said: "you and I are dreaming ourselves in another time. In a time yet to come." Notice that this is fully consistent with their current statement that Carol's return opened up a whole new arena of action. That "time yet to come" may be upon us. Carlos is still preaching the power of fear. But Taisha let the cat out the bag, at Omega. And all I see and feel coming from any of them is affection. A strange, ruthless affection. And the "mask of generosity" is no longer a mask. - David ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To:      alt.dreams.castaneda Date:    3 Sep 1995 11:42:54 -0400 My first (and so far only) experience of having one of the full-fledged sorcerers contact me personally in any semi-significant way (as minor and innocent as it may be), was as follows: Because I was wearing gym shorts with no pockets for Tensegrity, I had been carrying my keys around in my hand, and I had left them at Rich's sister's place, after we had gone over there to share insights on the passes. When we went back to the Workshop, just as the others were going in I realized I had left my keys and therefore would not be able to leave, and would just have to hang out until the session was over (I was only in the A group). I spent the first 30-40 minutes sitting outside fairly far from the door, but I could see CC on the stage inside, and I watched from time to time as he lectured and began to lead everyone in the warmups. Throughout this time I was intending internal silence, with some small successes. Then I decided to get up and practice walking for a while (using a combination of "the right way of walking, and the toes turned in walking"). I did that for 30 minutes or so, all around the school area. Meanwhile the sun was going down, and I was wearing only a very thin t-shirt and gym shorts, and had begun to get rather chilly. Finally, I went back to the Workshop area, and this time sat down at a table over on the side of the building nearer the door, where the sea breeze wasn't blowing on me. But I was still getting colder and colder. About that time, a tall caucasian man and a shorter Latin looking woman walked up, and Douglas Parnell seemed to know them and he signaled some of the witches to come out. Florinda and Carol came out and embraced and kissed these people, and then they all went inside. Shortly after that, Carol came back over to the door, and looked out in my direction, and then seemed to have brief words with Douglas, either about me, or about something out there in my direction (I looked over my shoulder to see if there was anyone else out there behind me). Then Kylie came over and talked to Douglas, and again, they seemed to be talking about me. A minute later, Carol came walking out the door and right up to me (inner gasp), and asked me if I was waiting for someone who was inside. I said yes. She said that I might as well come in, and took me by the arm and led me inside, and told me to blend in somewhere. I went back toward the very back of the room, as unobtrusively as possible. When I got back to the back, I noticed that I had headed right to the same place Taisha was. And Carol had followed me back there. Nyei was starting to explain the movement called Pecking for a New Position of the Assemblage Point. I had learned the movement at the earlier session, but Carol came and grabbed my hand and started showing me how to hold it. I had a lot of trouble getting my hand to move because it was very cold, and Carol was wrestling with it. I didn't want to tell her I knew it, because the way I was fumbling it looked like I didn't. She noticed that my hands were very cold, and started chastising me for sitting out there without proper clothing. I managed to stammer that it wasn't intentional, and about that time Nyei and Reni started drilling this Pecking Pass over and over. So there I was, WOW, with Taisha to the left and Carol to the right... and after being let in as a special favor, I felt motivated to do the passes with extra effort! We did that "Pecking Pass" over and over at least 5 or 6 times then (Reni was really drilling it), and within 10 minutes of doing them at maximum, I was soaked with sweat. Freezing to roasting in about 10 minutes... When it was over, I felt like thanking Carol, and when I did she asked me to tell her my name. Then Carlos motioned us to the front, yet before she broke away Carol managed to chastise me again, telling me I should wear a sweater or a jacket if I was going to go outside after sweating like that. Geez, she was practically acting like my mother :-). I brought a jacket to every session after that, but she just must not have realized...that's the way this idiot does things here in California... Carol was totally charming, yet also managed to give me the impression that she was definitely not someone to mess around with. Then Carlos got back up on stage and lectured for 30 minutes, going 25 minutes over the scheduled time for the session. What a bonus! - David [ 1995 Index | Previous | Next ]

Unauthorized use, copying, or re-posting of this page without permission from the author is prohibited. Links are acceptable.