Lotta no longer had bodyguards. No predators at all had been seen in the vicinity, or their tracks or scat. They seemed to be staying well away. Thus she was alone by the creek, washing her clothes—soaping them, then beating them with a stout stick, the sound of it dull and soggy.
"Sis."
She looked up. "Yes?"
"I'd like your help."
"Can it wait till I've rinsed these and wrung them out? Rinsed them anyway. I'm about done."
"Better yet," Jerym said, squatting beside her, "I'll help."
He began rinsing and wringing while she finished washing, his powerful hands and wrists squeezing things drier than she could have. When they were done, they stood, she coming about to her brother's chin. Together they climbed the hill and draped the wet things on saplings near her tent.
"I guess you miss your tent-mate," Jerym said.
"Yes, I miss her. But not as much as you do."
"That's what I've come to you about. I've got this feeling of vengefulness, and I'm afraid it'll warp my judgement—endanger my missions and men. We've lost thirty-four in 1st and 2nd Platoons, with me cool-headed. It's been a couple days since we've been out now, and Romlar's bound to give us another mission tonight or tomorrow."
"Okay," Lotta said. "Let's find us a log and sit." Not far from the last tent, her tent, lay a log, mossy and mouldering, too far gone for the local equivalent of ants. "Sit," she said pointing to it, and he sat. Then she sat on the ground in front of him, in the lotus posture, back straight, head up.
"Okay. This isn't going to be an Ostrak Procedure. It's just you and me, talking like brother and sister." Her eyes had settled on his face. "So. You want to revenge yourself."
"No. I want to avenge Tain."
"Okay. For what?"
"For— Their taking her away."
"Ah. How do you suppose she's taking it? Being away."
He frowned thoughtfully. "Well, you say she doesn't remember anything. So I suppose she could be taking it all right."
"Actually, more than all right. She's happy. She remembers how to talk and take care of herself, and she's learning about the world around her, the only world she knows. The Klestroni aren't mistreating her at all; they plan to take her home with them—see if their medics there can get her memory back for her—and find out what she knows, of course. They've even assigned a female crew member as an attendant. So I'd say vengeance isn't needed; not by her."
Jerym frowned. "It's as if she's dead, not remembering like that, not knowing."
"True. It's a little as if she'd committed suicide to save the secret of the teleport. But instead of being reborn as an infant, she's been reborn as an adult." She shifted focus a bit. "Do you feel as if you need to avenge Bressnik? Or any of the other guys you've lost?"
He shook his head. "They were warriors."
"And?"
"Warriors expect to die. It's as if you're already dead but the timing hasn't been settled yet."
"That's true of everyone, Jerym. Everyone dies, over and over. Warriors just tend to die younger. Do you worry about dying, when you go out?"
"No. But I've had the Ostrak Procedures. I know it's not the end. Just a change."
"Okay. Tain didn't worry about dying, either—not then. Even if she hadn't remembered dying before, and living again. I was with her, remember, experiencing her thoughts with her. She was intent on what she was doing, and she carried it off. Took a lot of guts; a lot. In a way she was a warrior just then."
Lotta studied Jerym. His focus was elsewhere. "What are you thinking about?" she asked.
He half grinned. "Don't you know?"
"I could. But I'm asking, instead."
"What you just said reminded me of—things. Tain and I loved each other. And when I'd come back off a mission, we'd—we'd get together. You know. Make love."
She nodded.
"So I had something special to look forward to, and you'd think I'd have had attention on getting back alive. Not just to see Tain, but to make love with her. But— When I was out there, all I had on my mind was the mission. I'd start to think about Tain again when we were flying home from the rendezvous."
Lotta laughed. "Okay! That's a warrior! A warrior will sometimes give up his warriorhood if things happen just right. Or just wrong. But you didn't.
"It probably helped that you were T'swa-trained and had the Ostrak Procedures. They'd both give you a sense of perspective on Confederation-type cultural beliefs, beliefs that are fine for people at Job and Compete, and to some extent even Fun. But not so good yet for Wisdom/Knowledge, unless you get picked up by one of the Institutes. And it's not good at all for Warriors."
Jerym nodded thoughtfully.
"With these things looked at, d'you suppose, on your next mission, you'll have attention on vengeance?"
"Umm, probably not. I'm not sure, but probably not."
"Good. Medreth would have showed you a diagram before one of your sessions with her, probably not long before she went back to Lake Loreen. Remember? It was called the parts of man."
"Yeah. I sort of remember."
"Tell me about them."
"Well, a person—not the body, but the part that survives—has parts that do different things, like body parts do different things. And most of them come as a set, like bodies have a set of arms, a set of legs . . . Pairs. One pair deals with the role, like the warrior role or dancer role, or what you do, for example. I suppose they have to do with keeping you defined. And another pair has to do with the script, you could say." Jerym frowned slightly. "I kind of pictured it starting out with a script, and then revising it to current situations, trying to keep its integrity at the same time, keeping it in line with the role as far as possible. And that's as far as I can go, talking about it. That's as far as I understood it."
Lotta smiled. "Those are the basics. So Tain has all those too, right? Had them and still has them."
Jerym nodded, sensing now where Lotta was taking this.
She eyed him knowingly. "Anything you want to say about that?"
He grinned at his sister. "You know I do. Tain came out here to Terfreya in spite of the fact that stowing away wasn't the kind of thing you'd imagine her doing. And she talked Romlar into letting her go with D Company, when he started out saying no." He paused, his expression changing. "Although I'm not ready to say she scripted being captured by the Klestroni."
"Okay. Anything else?"
"Well— I suspect her script people have done a lot of rewriting the last couple of days."
Lotta's laugh was a light arpeggio. "Big brother," she said getting up, "I hereby declare this discussion at an end. Unless there's something more you've just got to say to me."
He stood too. "Just one thing. I'm sure as Tunis glad you're my sister."
She laughed again. "I am too, Jerym, I am too."