THE WAY TO A MAN'S HEART
                                      Esther Friesner

   Talona the Terrible folded her sinewy arms across her mighty armor-plated bosom and
glared at her opponent. "Just what do you mean by coming to class at this hour, young lady?

   Amaryllis pressed her lips together, forcing back the same words which had gotten her i
trouble a good twenty-eight times since her arrival at the school. Every single one of those
times she had been reproved before all her fellow students and made to slop the school pig
Therefore, instead of the angry retort "I am Princess Amaryllis, you muscle-bound crone!" s
meekly replied, "I'm sorry, Swordmistress, but on the way to class I thought I heard a cry fo
help coming from Rushy Glen, so I went to investigate, for extra credit."

   "Ah!" said Talona, uncrossing her arms and leaning forward on the podium which creak
and cracked at the joints in protest "And did you think, child, that I am unaware that the only
presence in Rushy Glen at the moment is one Hamid, a travelling merchant and master of
Hamid's Caravan of Discounts?"

   Amaryllis cringed and blushed, mortified, while her classmates sniggered. "I-I was only
looking at the daggers. He has a fine selection of the new models for distant Goristan, and a
prices that just can't be beat!"

   Talona sighed. "Shopping. I might have known. You can take the princess out of the cast
but you can't take the urge to shop out of the princess. Well, shopping is not the proper
occupation for any serious swordswoman, let me assure you."

   "But I'm not a serious-"

   "Hush!" All the instincts of a seasoned fighter snapped into action as Talona leaped the
length of the classroom to clap a sword-calloused hand over Amaryllis's mouth. Darting he
eyes to left and right as if seeking skulkers in the shadows, the veteran hissed, "Do you wan
the surviving minces to hear you? Their agents are everywhere. These are cutthroat times."

   "Mo mah miff may mid?" Amaryllis said as well as she was able.

   "So what if they did?" Talona echoed. "Mark my words well, lass: If they did, I promise
you that you would face the deepest doom, the saddest fate, the most dreadful curse that eve
can befall a woman." She lowered her voice so that it sounded even more portentous: "You
would have to stay single forever!"

   A gasp of involuntary horror shook the assembled student body, causing chainmail-clad
bosoms to heave until the jingling sounded like the charge of a bellringers' choir, out for bl

   As for Amaryllis, at the very mention of possible spinsterhood she collapsed in a dead f
   She awoke to the sounds of a heated argument between Talona and one of her fellow
students, a lady named Gethina.

   "-Sovereign Essence is the best remedy for swoons available without a wizard's
prescription, that's why!" Gethina was saying, waving a small yellow bottle dangerously ne
the Swordmistress's lace.

    "Vorn's Sovereign Essence can bring back the dead for all I care," Talona shot back,
smacking the unlucky bottle out of Gethina's hand. "I still would never have it under my roo
is manufactured solely by the Witches' Auxiliary of the Council Sorcerous as a fund-raising
item. One of the principal ingredients, as any ninny Knows, is consomme of frogskin. Out o
simple good taste and sensitivity I refuse to stock it in the school infirmary, and I am surpri
that you-a princess born!-would be in possession or such filthy brew, let alone suggest usin
it!"

   "Oh, don't be surprised. Teacher." Santorma's nasty, insinuating voice came scraping at
edges of Amaryllis's returning consciousness. "Gethina never had a hope of finding a decen
husband before the great disaster, so why should she care a fig for the rest of us now; or for
good taste?"

   "That's a lie!" Gethina flashed a scathing look on Santorma. "Before the disaster I was
engaged to be married to Prince Reston of Beverlita."

   Santorma's scornful laugh was every bit as nasty and insinuating as her voice. "More lik
Princess Beverlita of Reston, if you set my drift, and don't you just. I hear tell that he looke
much tike a frog to start with that the witches didn't need to cast more than half the frog spe
over him before boiling him down for consomme."

   Gethina let loose a bloodcurdling shriek and threw herself on Santorma. Swords flashed
and met in midair. The classroom rang with the alarm of steel biting steel, and the grunts an
curses of the combatants.

   Talona clapped her hands rapidly to get the attention of the other girls. "All right, ladies
you know the drill: Papers out, pencils flying; I'll be collecting your observers' notes on thi
skirmish afterwards."

   Pucina, lately princess of Treb, raised her hand. "Will we be getting graded on this?"

   "Only if both of them survive," Talona replied. "If one or both dies, you will write a
five-page essay on the winning strategy, due tomorrow."

   Pucina's eyes widened. "For the love of all the gods, you two, don't die!" she shouted.
   By the time Amaryllis had managed to pick herself up off the floor and borrow a pencil,
set-to was over. Both combatants had survived, though both were also bleeding from a num
of superficial wounds, besides which Santorma sported a shiner. Their teacher observed th
with an expert's eye and pronounced, "Not bad. Neither one of you would nave lasted five
minutes against one of the girls from my old regiment, but you fight well enough to deceive
prince who wants to have a swordmaiden for a wife."

   Santorma did not accept her teacher's praise graciously. She spat a gob of blood studded
with a couple of her smaller teeth and decreed: "I quit." She touched her blooming black ey
and added, "If our remaining princes have gotten so cursed finicky about having to wed a
swordmaiden, then I say to the netherpit with them! I'm going home. First I'm going to have
nice, hot bath, then I'm going to marry my father's swineherd, and then I'm going to bribe as
many minstrels as it takes to spread some cockamamie fairy tale about how he was really a
prince in disguise. And I will personally slice the head off anyone who says anything
different!" She unbuckled her sword-belt, let it fall to the floor, and gave it a savage kick
before stalking out.

   A short silence followed this scene. At last Talona remarked, "Well! I suppose the rest o
you are going to follow that pathetic example." Her eyes swept her remaining students,
including Gethina, who was still standing in the middle of the floor, breathing hard.

   "Not bloody likely," Amaryllis muttered.

   "What was that?" Once more Talona sprang-this time in the purely figurative sense. "Spe
up, young lady! If you nave something to say, say it so that the whole class can hear."

   For an instant, Amaryllis toyed with the idea of making up another lie. Then she dropped
The one about Rushy Glen hadn't worked worth spit. She knew she was a poor liar, and
besides, she was angry. Why shouldn't she. be able to come late to class because she'd stop
to browse at Hamid's? Why couldn't she indulge in her favorite occupation anymore, simply
because it wasn't proper for a sword-maiden? She opened her mouth to speak and what cam
out of it was as honest as her heart could make it:

   "I said not bloody likely! And you know why it's not bloody likely as well as we all do.
Santorma's father is the richest king for leagues around and she's his only child! If any one o
our fathers had half his money and if any of us were our kingdom's only heir, we'd be out of
place so fast it would melt your buckler! But we're not rich and we're not sole heirs, so we
can't marry swineherds and turn them into princes. That would be a picnic. But, oh no, we'v
got to marry princes, only there are hardly enough of them to go around since the Witches'
Auxiliary turned so cursed many of them into frogs!"

   "It wouldn't be so bad if they'd just left it at turning them into frogs," Pucina sighed. "The
we could kiss them, break the spell, and they'd have to marry us. But as soon as they becom
frogs, those odious witches nab them for the brewing of their triply-damned Vorn's Soverei
Essence! You can't kiss a cup of frog consommé."

   "You can," Amaryllis corrected her. "But you don't get bang-all for your trouble."

   "I blame the government," said Princess Rika of Yellowcrag. "If the Interkingdom Allian
hadn't cut off all funding for the black arts, the Council Sorcerous wouldn't have slashed the
budget for the Witches' Auxiliary and they never would have needed to start such an aggres
fund-raising project in the first place."

    Talona held up a chiding finger. "No politics in class," she said. Then she returned her
attention to Amaryllis. "Whining never helps, whether you're princess or swordswoman. In
free market economy, the laws of supply and demand become the facts of life. Our remainin
princes know they can afford to be picky; you can not. Not if you want to become a bride. A
the moment, it strikes their fancy to marry only swordmaidens. It's become a bit of a status
symbol with the boys, realty. We ought to be pleased that they're no longer afraid of strong
women. Now as I see it, you have three choices: Wait for princess brides to come back into
style-" (Amaryllis looked dubious) "-leave this school and accept a life of single cursed-ne
(Amaryllis looked aghast) "-or sit down, shut up, and do your work!"

   Amaryllis sat down and shut up, but that was as far as she was going to go. While the oth
ladies scribbled their evaluations of the recent combat and Gethina helped herself to the
contents of the first aid kit, Amaryllis sat idly in her place until Talona noticed her lack of
industry.

   "Why aren't you writing?"

   "I can't. I didn't get to see the fight. I was still pretty groggy for most of it."

   Talona snook her head. "Tsk-tsk. What did I say about whining?"

  The veteran swordswoman's condescending tone was just too much for Amaryllis to bea
She leaped to her feet and shouted, "I quit too!"

  "Fine." Talona was unperturbed. "No refunds on the remainder of this semester's tuition
good luck to you." Without further ado she turned her back on the simmering student
swordmaiden and told the rest of the class to hurry up and finish their reports.

    "I'll show you!" The princess' cheeks were flushed with anger, her dainty hands were fis
"I'll find a prince and I'll convince him that I'm a real swordmaiden without any more of yo
stupid schooling and I'll marry him! So there! Nyah! What do you think of that?"

    Talona's head slowly came around. "Fine," she said quietly. "You try that. May I suggest
kingdom of Egrel as the best place to start? Its most conveniently located Their prince Dest
is reputed to be handsome enough, and he's an only child, so you can be fairly well assured
becoming queen in time."

   Amaryllis frowned. "Why are you telling me all this? Why do you want to help me?"

   "Because no matter how much information I give you, you won't succeed. You'll be foun
out first, and the news will echo throughout every civilized land. In that way, you shall serv
an object lesson for the rest of your classmates and I shall never be troubled to maintain
discipline again. I ought to thank you for services rendered."

   The princess' lily brow creased even more. "What if I'm not found out?"

   "Not found out? You?" Talona's laugh was like the carking of a gore-crow. "Dear child,
even the most pudding-brained of princes can tell when a sword-maiden is faking it."

   Amaryllis stalked out of Talona's School for Swords-women while her erstwhile teache
passed down the rows of benches and trestle tables, collecting papers. She was so furious t
she went about a mile past Rushy Glen before she realized that she now had all the time in t
world for shopping.

   "Damn," she muttered. "Now what? I can't go back home. Daddy will be a bear when he
hears about the tuition, and my soppy half-sister Villanella will start yapping again about n
she should've been the one sent to school. As if she'd ever land a prince, sword-maiden or n
With the face that old camel's got, she'd better pray I do marry Prince Destino, because the
way she'll ever get a man is if I'm queen of somewhere-or-other and I can order some poor
soul to wed her on pain of death. And even then I'll have to persuade him!"

   With these and similarly charitable observations falling constantly from her lips, Amary
walked some five miles before reaching a major road, flagging down a passing haywain, an
hitching a ride. As she jounced along on the seat beside a driver who smelled marginally fo
than the school pigs, Amaryllis had time enough to reflect upon her situation, as well as to g
the hang of sitting so that her sword did not smack her thigh black and blue. She gave thank
when she learned from the lout that it was as Talona had said: The kingdom of Egrel was n
too far away. In fact, they would reach the royal castle-town by sunset.

   "What business ye got there, arh?" the fellow inquired.

   Amaryllis decided that if she were going to impersonate a woman warrior, there was no
time like the present to begin the charade. She put on Talona's grimmest face and replied
frostily, 'My business is mine own, and doom perhaps to he who pries into it too closely,
unbidden.

   "To him," said the driver.

   "I beg your pardon?" Amaryllis' mask of cold pride not only dropped, it shattered, and s
almost slid off the seat.

  " 'Sdoom perhaps to him who pries into it too closely unbidden. Damn and blast, but ye
swords-wenches otter know yer grammar better'n that, I'm thinkin', arh."

   Amaryllis suppressed a little thrill of delight. He thinks I'm a real swordmaiden! Assum
a more kindly tone, she said, "Your pardon, good churl. Perchance it will do no harm to ma
you privy to the cause that brings me unto yon fair city. I am a poor but honest sellsword, la
out of work since the perishment of my last employer."

   "Doesn't say much for yer skill wi' the blade then, if ye let yer last boss die. Looks like
carelessness."

  "Uh, mmm, er-he did not die through any lack of vigilance on my part," Amaryllis said
swiftly. "His wife poisoned him whilst they were, uh-"

  "Say no more." The driver nodded knowingly. "Well, no fear: Yell find work aplenty on
we reach the town. What'd ye say yer name was?"

   "I am Amar-Amar-" Suddenly the princess realized that her given name sounded too soft
mooshy to be associated with a swordmaiden of her supposed redoubtability. "I am Amar
the-the Amazing," she said, making a fast judgement call that sounded only a little lame.

   The bumpkin, however, accepted it without demur and even remarked, "Aye, an' amazin
are, that's for certain, arrh." Unfortunately he was staring at her chainmail-cupped breasts, n
her swordarm, when he said it.

  He was making his fifteenth try at steering the conversation back to the subject of now sh
managed to stand up straight with those things when they passed beneath the city gate-

    -and were nearly swept right out again in a flood-tide of thundering, screaming, terrified
citizens. The haywain was an island in a human sea, the oxen tossing their heavy heads as p
whitened their eyes, the driver standing up on the footboard, whip in hand, unsuccessfully
trying to make the stampeding crowd keep their distance from his beasts.

   And then it was over. They were all alone on the inner side of the city gate, staring dow
desolate street to the castle mount. Amaryllis gaped. "What was all that about?"

    Before the driver could answer, the princess heard the sound of approaching hoofbeats.
of a side-street came a white stallion and mounted on his back was the handsomest man
Amaryllis had ever seen. Early training had stressed the importance of self-control in royal
maidens, but this was an exceptional case. Amaryllis did not know how exceptional until sh
felt a tiny drop of something warm and wet on the back of her hand and realized that she wa
drooling. She hastily wiped her mouth and prayed that the glorious young man had seen noth
   Her prayers went unanswered: He had seen her. He was doing a fair amount of drooling
himself.

   "If this kingdom survives the horror presently upon us," he said in one of those deep,
resonant voices that command respect and carry for miles, "then when it is over I shall orde
special thanksgiving service to praise whatever power has brought a creature such as you i
my realm." He slid gracefully from the saddle and knelt in the dust beside Amaryllis' side o
the haywain.

   She scrambled from her place to urge him back to his feet. "Noble sir, do not abase your
before me. I am but a humble swordmaiden, Amar the Armigerous."

   "Thought ye said 'Amazing,' " the driver grumbled. No one paid him any mind.

   "A swordmaiden!" The young man's eyes lit up. He clasped her hands to his breast in
exultation. "This is a deliverance! Know, fair warrioress, that I am Prince Destino. Know t
that I have fallen in love with you at first sight. Know likewise that if you will have me, I
would make you my bride. Know besides all of the above that whether or not you accept m
offer of matrimony-"

   "Oh I do! I do!" Amaryllis cried.

    "-that I would still offer you a lucrative dragon-slaying contract to-you do? I mean, you
marry me?" Amaryllis nodded hard enough to snap the neck of a lesser woman. "Ah, joy! T
I shall ride back to the castle to bring my parents the happy news while you ride forth to sla
the wicked monster who-"

   "What?" said Amaryllis. And also: "Monster? Slay?" And last but not least: "Huh?"

   "Why yes, my beloved." Prince Destino gave her a melting look. "The dragon. I'm sure I
mentioned it. It appeared sometime this afternoon in the castle courtyard where I was
entertaining my fiancee, the Princess Dimity of Yither."

   For a reason known best to herself, Amaryllis heard only one word of the prince's last
sentence: "Fiancée?"

   Destino sighed. "An alliance contracted when we were both in our cradles. We were no
supposed to wed for another two years, but what with the recent upheavals affecting eligibl
princes, her lather insisted we rush ahead with the marriage; 'Before you give me a grandch
that's a damned tadpole,' was the way he put it. Princess Dimity of Yither is a very-"

  "Don't tell me about Dimity!" Amaryllis looked hot enough to set the whole haywain abl
"Dimity is my stupid cousin, and a more graceless, stubborn, overbearing girl you've never
seen!"

   "Your… cousin?" The prince chewed this over. "But she's a princess, and you-"

   "My father lost his throne to barbarian hordes from the north," Amaryllis said rapidly. "H
and all my kin perished in the assault. I alone survived, an infant, rescued by my aged nurse
She's dead now too. There's no one left to tell you any different, so don't bother asking arou

   "A swordmaiden, a disinherited princess, and the chosen of my heart!" Prince Destino w
in ecstasies. "And once you've rescued her, I am sure that the princess Dimity's lather will
make no trouble about annulling the old contract, out of gratitude for his child's life. Oh, thi
couldn't be better! All you have to do now is slay the dragon."



   "I'm honored that you consented to let me come along to watch you at work," Prince Des
said as he and Amaryllis rode towards the mountains.

   "It was my pleasure, my lord," Amaryllis replied. Curse it anyway I she thought. If I'm g
to die, I might as well take him with me. I refuse to let that cow Dimity get her claws back i
him! She sat a little taller in the saddle and tried not to think of how dragon fire was going t
feel on the vast expanses of skin her scanty-though-spectacular armor left unprotected.

  "Yonder lies the dragon's lair," said the prince, pointing to a yawning cavern at the foot
mountain that was much too close for Amaryllis' peace of mind.

    She knew she was going to die-she had told herself so over and over, in hopes that
repetition would numb her to the awful fact-but somehow, now that the fact was becoming
more and more irrefutable with every step her horse took, she simply could not face it. May
it was the fast-fading smudge of smoke she saw emanating from the cavern; maybe it was th
sight of bleached bones and human skulls strewn at all-too-frequent intervals along the path
maybe it was the stench of carrion and cold, old reptile that clung in an ever-thickening clo
around this whole unhallowed place. Whatever it was, she could not bear it

    She felt another tiny drop of something warm and wet on the back of her hand. She knew
this time it was not drool, but a tear. It was joined by others, and others still, until by the tim
she and Prince Destino were within shouting distance of the dragon's lair her eyes were
streaming while she fought to swallow her sobs.

   She very nearly succeeded. Only one escaped. The prince turned at the sound and his ey
grew wide. "Why-why Amar, you're-you're crying?"

   That was it. That was a word too much. Every single sob and moan and bleat of despair
the princess had been bottling up inside her demanded its freedom. What's more, every sing
one of them got it.

   "Oh my goodness!" The prince was frantic. He pulled his horse up alongside of hers and
with a great deal of fuss managed to haul her from the saddle to sit sideways across his lap
She buried her face against his shoulder and bawled. He regarded her dumbstruck for a wh
then carefully pronounced, "I see it all, now. Oh, my dearest, how could I have been so blin
Not only are you bold of mien and strong of arm, you are also tender of heart. You fear that
while you are in the process of slaying yon beast, some fatal harm might come to me before
had convinced it to be entirely dead. Such is the epic scope of your love! Well, don't you
worry your pretty little head about it." He set her on her feet and reined his horse several p
away. "You go ahead and take care of business; I'll wait over here."

    Still snivelling and wiping her nose on the back of her hand, Amaryllis went back to her
horse to fetch her sword. She was no longer afraid of dying. At this moment the strongest
emotion filling her bosom was the bitter realization that her old teacher, Talona the Terribl
had been right: It didn't pay to fake it. Thus armed with an unshakable who-gives-a-damn
attitude, she entered the lair of the beast.

   The dragon's cave stank worse on the inside; that was logical. The bones were thicker to
Amaryllis had not come away from Talona's school entirely ignorant; she knew how to hold
her sword as she picked her way through the mounds of ribs and skulls and femurs. She trie
stalk her prey quietly, but the bones would rattle so, and whenever her sandalled foot touch
one she could not restrain a little Ick! of disgust.

   She thought she was finally getting used to stepping on the horrid things when she missed
her footing on a particularly steep mound of skulls and fell flat on her rump in the midst of
them. This time her reaction was no genteel, maidenly Ick!; it was a scream that dislodged
several quarts of bats from the cavern roof.

   The echoes of that shriek had not died down before Amaryllis heard a familiar voice
inquire, "Are you quite done?" She blinked her eyes in the murk. Could it be-?

   "Over here, stupid," came a second voice, also no stranger. Amaryllis could hardly beli
what she saw. There on the cave floor, basking on a pile of gold and jewels fit to choke a
basilisk, was her cousin Dimity. Not a sword's-length away lay the dragon. The dragon's bo
that is. The monster's severed head was elsewhere, dangling from the hand of Talona the
Terrible.

  "What took you so long?" Dimity asked, tossing rubies into the air and letting them patte
down on her satin skirts like a very expensive rain.

  "You saved her!" Amaryllis cried. She ignored her cousin, focusing all her surprise (and
good measure of pique besides) on Talona. "You want the prince for yourself!"
    "Hardly, child," the swordswoman replied, setting the grisly trophy aside. "You see, wh
you left my school, I realized that your father made me insert a rather nit-picky clause into o
contract, stating that in case of the student's death, a pro rata share of the semester's tuition m
be refunded. It never said a thing about whether you died at school or away. Since I'd told y
to try your luck here in Egrel, I gave the girls a long weekend and came after you. Well, no
sooner did I reach the capital than I heard of the dragon."

   "And she knew you'd head right for it, like a fly to-"

   "Shush, Dimity."

   Princess Dimity shrugged. "Truth is truth. Everyone in the family knows that Amaryllis i
desperate to get married, don't ask me why."

   "I happen to like children," Amaryllis snapped. "I'd like to have several. Do you mind?"

    "You can have all of mine, while you're at it," Dimity replied. "I don't much care for the
sticky little things. In fact, that was the one part of marriage I was dreading. Oh, and the roy
ceremonies, and dressing up all the time, and organizing banquets, and redecorating the cas
and-"

   "We get the idea, my dear," Talona said. She turned to Amaryllis once more. "As I was
saying, once I knew there was a dragon in the case, I was certain you'd go after it, whether
not you had a hope of killing it. You'd do it just to show me, wouldn't you?"

   Amaryllis' head drooped. She nodded.

   "I thought so." Talona was satisfied. "You have spirit, child; keep it. Just don't go letting
shove you into situations you lack the training to handle."

   "I owe you my life," Amaryllis said. She didn't sound very happy about it.

   "Pshaw!" said Talona. "By the time I found the dragon's lair, the hard work was done fo
me: The dragon lay steeped in a sleep so deep that it never knew when my sword came dow
on its neck. Just look at the size of the monster! If I had met it when it was fully awake, it m
have been another story altogether; and not one I would have liked, I can tell you!"

   "It… slept?" Amaryllis was puzzled. "But-"

   "I did it," Dimity announced casually, standing up amid the heaps of treasure. "First I
pretended to be the typical fraidy-cat princess and then, when the dumb beast thought it had
nothing to fear from me, I managed to mix a little of Vorn's Sovereign Essence into its last
meal." She reached into the silk pouch at her belt and withdrew the familiar yellow bottle.
"Sent the monster straight to dreamland. Great stuff. A hundred and one uses. I never leave
home without it."

  Amaryllis didn't know whether to be appalled or revolted. "You touched the dragon's la
meal? But it eats-it eats-"

   "Hey, if I hadn't done it, I'd have been the dragon's next meal," Dimity responded hotly.
rather be alive than dainty any day!"

    Amaryllis dropped her sword, covered her eyes, and began to cry. Talona and Dimity
rallied 'round, patting her on the back and making comforting noises. Amaryllis shrugged th
off violently. "Stop it!" she cried. "Leave me alone! You ruined my life, the pair of you!"

   "Stopped you from getting lolled, yes, I can see how that would ruin your Me," Talona s
dryly.

  "Don't you see?" Amaryllis wailed. "Now Prince Destino will know I'm not a real
swordmaiden and he'll marry Dimity!"

   "No, he won't," said Dimity and Talona in perfect harmony.



   The ride back to Talona's School for Swordswomen was a pleasant one. The ladies,
mounted On fine steeds that were the gifts of a grateful prince, enjoyed the scenery and each
other's company. When they reached a likely spot, they dismounted to have lunch. Unpackin
their panniers, well packed with the leavings of the wedding banquet, they licked their lips
anticipation over the fine feast before them.

   It did not take them long to devour it almost to the crumb. Sated, Talona leaned her back
against an oak and sleepily said, "You know, my dear, if this is the career for you, you mus
allow me to help you pick out a nice suit of armor."

  Dimity laughed and patted her satin skirts. "Not a chance! I get more protection wearing
gown than I'd ever get from that silly chainmail kilt and halter you wear."

   "It's traditional," Talona said. "People expect swordswomen to dress like this."

    "Well, thank goodness for tradition! It was all that kept Prince Destino from believing th
I'd done for the dragon. Of course I could never overcome any sort of monster; just look at t
way I dress!" She laughed louder.

   Talona clicked her tongue. "Men."

   "People," Dimity corrected her. "Men don't have the market cornered on ridiculous
assumptions. I don't mind; it makes life interesting. So-" She shifted to a more comfortable
position "-how long do you think it'll take me to master the sword?"

   "Are you sure you want to, dear?" Talona cautioned.

  "If I'm going to follow a career as a fighting woman, I want to be prepared for it, and I d
want to depend on the swords of strangers when I need a little backup," Dimity replied.

   Before Talona could speak, they heard a rustling sound from the thicket "Merciful heave
the swordswoman exclaimed. "What have we done, stopping here? Do you know what this
place is, child?" Dimity shook her head. "It's called Rushy Glen, and that means-that means

   "Rushy Glen? I know what that means! Amaryllis told me. YeeHA!" Dimity sprang from
grass and vaulted into the saddle. She felt a brave and defiant battle cry rising to her lips. W
a wild howl she made her horse rear and paw the air as the bold words rang from her lips:
Hamid! A Hamid! Let's… go… shopping!"

   And the realms rejoiced as their new protector galloped on into legend, her boon
companion Talona the Terrible at her side, and a short stop at Hamid's Caravan of Discoun
on the way.