THE DUFFLEPUDS MADE HAPPY:
Lucy followed the great Lion out into the passage and at once she saw coming
towards them an old man, barefoot, dressed in a red robe. His white hair was
crowned with a chaplet of oak leaves, his beard fell to his girdle, and he
supported himself with a curiously carved staff. When he saw Aslan he bowed low
and said,
"Welcome, Sir, to the least of your houses."
"Do you grow weary, Coriakin, of ruling such foolish subjects as I have given
you here?"
"No," said the Magician, "they are very stupid but there is no real harm in
them. I begin to grow rather fond of the creatures. Sometimes, perhaps, I am a
little impatient, waiting for the day when they can be governed by wisdom
instead of this rough magic."
"All in good time, Coriakin," said Aslan.
"Yes, all in very good time, Sir," was the answer. "Do you intend to show
yourself to them?"
"Nay," said the Lion, with a little half-growl that meant (Lucy thought) the
same as a laugh. "I should frighten them out of their senses. Many stars will
grow old and come to take their rest in islands before your people are ripe for
that. And today before sunset I must visit Trumpkin the Dwarf where he sits in
the castle of Cair Paravel counting the days till his master Caspian comes home.
I will tell him all your story, Lucy. Do not look so sad. We shall meet soon
again."
"Please, Aslan," said Lucy, "what do you call soon?"
"I call all times soon," said Aslan; and instantly he was vanished away and Lucy
was alone with the Magician.
"Gone!" said he, "and you and I quite crestfallen. It's always like that, you
can't keep him; it's not as if he were a tame lion. And how did you enjoy my
book?"
"Parts of it very much indeed," said Lucy. "Did you know I was there all the
time?"
"Well, of course I knew when I let the Duffers make themselves invisible that
you would be coming along presently to take the spell off. I wasn't quite sure
of the exact day. And I wasn't especially on the watch this morning. You see
they had made me invisible too and being invisible always makes me so sleepy.
Heigh-ho - there I'm yawning again. Are you hungry?"
"Well, perhaps I am a little," said Lucy. "I've no idea what the time is."
"Come," said the Magician. "All times may be soon to Aslan; but in my home all
hungry times are one o'clock."
He led her a little way down the passage and opened a door. Passing in, Lucy
found herself in a pleasant room full of sunlight and flowers. The table was
bare when they entered, but it was of course a magic table, and at a word from
the old man the tablecloth, silver, plates, glasses and food appeared.
"I hope that is-what you would like," said he. "I have tried to give you food
more like the food of your own land than perhaps you have had lately."
"It's lovely," said Lucy, and so it was; an omelette, piping hot, cold lamb and
green peas, a strawberry ice, lemonsquash to drink with the meal and a cup of
chocolate to follow. But the magician himself drank only wine and ate only
bread. There was nothing alarming about him, and Lucy and he were soon chatting
away like old friends.
"When will the spell work?" asked Lucy. "Will the Duffers be visible again at
once?"
"Oh yes, they're visible now. But they're probably all asleep still; they always
take a rest in the middle of the day."
"And now that they're visible, are you going to let them off being ugly? Will
you make them as they were before?"
"Well, that's rather a delicate question," said the Magician. "You see, it's
only they who think they were so nice to look at before. They say they've been
uglified, but that isn't what I called it. Many people might say the change was
for the better."
"Are they awfully conceited?"
"They are. Or at least the Chief Duffer is, and he's taught all the rest to be.
They always believe every word he says."
"We'd noticed that," said Lucy.
"Yes - we'd get on better without him, in a way. Of course I could turn him into
something else, or even put a spell on him which would make them not believe a
word he said. But I don't like to do that. It's better for them to admire him
than to admire nobody."
"Don't they admire you?" asked Lucy.
"Oh, not me," said the Magician. "They wouldn't admire me."
"What was it you uglified them for - I mean, what they call uglified?"
"Well, they wouldn't do what they were told. Their work is to mind the garden
and raise food - not for me, as they imagine, but for themselves. They wouldn't
do it at all if I didn't make them. And of course for a garden you want water.
There is a beautiful spring about half a mile away up the hill. And from that
spring there flows a stream which comes right past the garden. All I asked them
to do was to take their water from the stream instead of trudging up to the
spring with their buckets two or three times a day and tiring themselves out
besides spilling half of it on the way back. But they wouldn't see it. In the
end they refused point blank."
"Are they as stupid as all that?" asked Lucy.
The Magician sighed. "You wouldn't believe the troubles I've had with them. A
few months ago they were all for washing up the plates and knives before dinner:
they said it saved time afterwards. I've caught them planting boiled potatoes to
save cooking them when they were dug up. One day the cat got into the dairy and
twenty of them were at work moving all the milk out; no one thought of moving
the cat. But I see you've finished. Let's go and look at the Duffers now they
can be looked at."
They went into another room which was full of polished instruments hard to
understand - such as Astrolabes, Orreries, Chronoscopes, Poesimeters,
Choriambuses and Theodolinds - and here, when they had come to the window, the
Magician said, "There. There are your Duffers."
"I don't see anybody," said Lucy. "And what are those mushroom things?"
The things she pointed at were dotted all over the level grass. They were
certainly very like mushrooms, but far too big - the stalks about three feet
high and the umbrellas about the same length from edge to edge. When she looked
carefully she noticed too that the stalks joined the umbrellas not in the middle
but at one side which gave an unbalanced look to them. And there was something -
a sort of little bundle - lying on the grass at the foot of each stalk. In fact
the longer she gazed at them the less like mushrooms they appeared. The umbrella
part was not really round as she had thought at first. It was longer than it was
broad, and it widened at one end. There were a great many of them, fifty or
more.
The clock struck three.
Instantly a most extraordinary thing happened. Each of the "mushrooms" suddenly
turned upside-down. The little bundles which had lain at the bottom of the
stalks were heads and bodies. The stalks themselves were legs. But not two legs
to each body. Each body had a single thick leg right under it (not to one side
like the leg of a one-legged man) and at the end of it, a single enormous foot-a
broadtoed foot with the toes curling up a little so that it looked rather like a
small canoe. She saw in a moment why they had looked like mushrooms. They had
been lying flat on their backs each with its single leg straight up in the air
and its enormous foot spread out above it. She learned afterwards that this was
their ordinary way of resting; for the foot kept off both rain and sun and for a
Monopod to lie under its own foot is almost as good as being in a tent.
"Oh, the funnies, the funnies," cried Lucy, bursting into laughter. "Did you
make them like that?"
"Yes, yes. I made the Duffers into Monopods," said the Magician. He too was
laughing till the tears ran down his cheeks. "But watch," he added.
It was worth watching. Of course these little one-footed men couldn't walk or
run as we do. They got about by jumping, like fleas or frogs. And what jumps
they made! as if each big foot were a mass of springs. And with what a bounce
they came down; that was what made the thumping noise which had so puzzled Lucy
yesterday. For now they were jumping in all directions and calling out to one
another, "Hey, lads! We're visible again."
"Visible we are," said one in a tasselled red cap who was obviously the Chief
Monopod. "And what I say is, when chaps are visible, why, they can see one
another."
"Ah, there it is, there it is, Chief," cried all the others. "There's the point.
No one's got a clearer head than you. You couldn't have made it plainer."
"She caught the old man napping, that little girl did," said the Chief Monopod.
"We've beaten him this time."
"Just what we were, going to say ourselves," chimed the chorus. "You're going
stronger than ever today, Chief. Keep it up, keep it up."
"But do they dare to talk about you like that?" said Lucy. "They seemed to be so
afraid of you yesterday. Don't they know you might be listening?"
"That's one of the funny things about the Duffers," said the Magician. "One
minute they talk as if I ran everything and overheard everything and was
extremely dangerous. The next moment they think they can take me in by tricks
that a baby would see through - bless them!"
"Will they have to be turned back into their proper shapes?" asked Lucy. "Oh, I
do hope it wouldn't be unkind to leave them as they are. Do they really mind
very much? They seem pretty happy. I say - look at that jump. What were they
like before?"
"Common little dwarfs," said he. "Nothing like so nice as the sort you have in
Narnia."
"It would be a pity to change them back," said Lucy. "They're so funny: and
they're rather nice. Do you think it would make any difference if I told them
that?"
"I'm sure it would - if you could get it into their heads."
"Will you come with me and try?"
"No, no. You'll get on far better without me."
"Thanks awfully for the lunch," said Lucy and turned quickly away. She ran down
the stairs which she had come up so nervously that morning and cannoned into
Edmund at the bottom. All the others were there with him waiting, and Lucy's
conscience smote her when she saw their anxious faces and realized how long she
had forgotten them.
"It's all right," she shouted. "Everything's all right. The Magician's a brick -
and I've seen Him - Aslan."
After that she went from them like the wind and out into the garden. Here the
earth was shaking with the jumps and the air ringing with the shouts of the
Monopods. Both were redoubled when they caught sight of her.
"Here she comes, here she comes," they cried. "Three cheers for the little girl.
Ah! She put it across the old gentleman properly, she did."
"And we're extremely regrettable," said the Chief Monopod, "that we can't give
you the pleasure of seeing us as we were before we were uglified, for you
wouldn't believe the difference, and that's the truth, for there's no denying
we're mortal ugly now, so we won't deceive you."
"Eh, that we are, Chief, that we are," echoed the others, bouncing like so many
toy balloons. "You've said it, you've said it."
"But I don't think you are at all," said Lucy, shouting to make herself heard.
"I think you look very nice."
"Hear her, hear her," said the Monopods. "True for you, Missie. Very nice we
look. You couldn't find a handsomer lot." They said this without any surprise
and did not seem to notice that they had changed their minds.
"She's a-saying," remarked the Chief Monopod, "as how we looked very nice before
we were uglified."
"True for you, Chief, true for you," chanted the others. "That's what she says.
We heard her ourselves."
"I did not," bawled Lucy. "I said you're very nice now."
"So she did, so she did," said the Chief Monopod, "said we were very nice then."
"Hear 'em both, hear 'em both," said the Monopods. "There's a pair for you.
Always right. They couldn't have put it better."
"But we're saying just the opposite," said Lucy, stamping her foot with
impatience.
"So you are, to be sure, so you are," said the Monopods. "Nothing like an
opposite. Keep it up, both of you."
"You're enough to drive anyone mad," said Lucy, and gave it up. But the Monopods
seemed perfectly contented, and she decided that on the whole the conversation
had been a success.
And before everyone went to bed that evening something else happened which made
them even more satisfied with their one-legged condition. Caspian and all the
Narnians went back as soon as possible to the shore to give their news to Rhince
and the others on board the Dawn Treader, who were by now very anxious. And, of
course, the Monopods went with them, bouncing like footballs and agreeing with
one another in loud voices till Eustace said, "I wish the Magician would make
them inaudible instead of invisible." (He was soon sorry he had spoken because
then he had to explain that an inaudible thing is something you can't hear, and
though he took a lot of trouble he never felt sure that the Monopods had really
understood, and what especially annoyed him was that they said in the end, "Eh,
he can't put things the way our Chief does. But you'll learn, young man. Hark to
him. He'll show you how to say things. There's a speaker for you!") When they
reached the bay, Reepicheep had a brilliant idea. He had his little coracle
lowered and paddled himself about in it till the Monopods were thoroughly
interested. He then stood up in it and said, "Worthy and intelligent Monopods,
you do not need boats. Each of you has a foot that will do instead. Just jump as
lightly as you can on the water and see what happens."
The Chief Monopod hung back and warned the others that they'd find the water
powerful wet, but one or two of the younger ones tried it almost at once; and
then a few others followed their example, and at last the whole lot did the
same. It worked perfectly. The huge single foot of a Monopod acted as a natural
raft or boat, and when Reepicheep had taught them how to cut rude paddles for
themselves, they all paddled about the bay and round the Dawn Treader, looking
for all the world like a fleet of little canoes with a fat dwarf standing up in
the extreme stern of each. And they had races, and bottles of wine were lowered
down to them from the ship as prizes, and the sailors stood leaning over the
ship's sides and laughed till their own sides ached.
The Duffers were also very pleased with their new name of Monopods, which seemed
to them a magnificent name though they never got it right. "That's what we are,"
they bellowed, "Moneypuds, Pomonods, Poddymons. Just what it was on the tips of
our tongues to call ourselves." But they soon got it mixed up with their old
name of Duffers and finally settled down to calling themselves the Dufflepuds;
and that is what they will probably be called for centuries.
That evening all the Narnians dined upstairs with the Magician, and Lucy noticed
how different the whole top floor looked now that she was no longer afraid of
it. The mysterious signs on the doors were still mysterious but now looked as if
they had kind and cheerful meanings, and even the bearded mirror now seemed
funny rather than frightening. At dinner everyone had by magic what everyone
liked best to eat and drink, and after dinner the Magician did a very useful and
beautiful piece of magic. He laid two blank sheets of parchment on the table and
asked Drinian to give him an exact account of their voyage up to date: and as
Drinian spoke, everything he described came out on the parchment in fine clear
lines till at last each sheet was a splendid map of the Eastern Ocean, showing
Galma, Terebinthia, the Seven Isles, the Lone Islands, Dragon Island, Burnt
Island, Deathwater, and the land of the Duffers itself, all exactly the right
sizes and in the right positions. They were the first maps ever made of those
seas and better than any that have been made since without magic. For on these,
though the towns and mountains looked at first just as they would on an ordinary
map, when the Magician lent them a magnifying glass you saw that they were
perfect little pictures of the real things, so that you could see the very
castle and slave market and streets in Narrowhaven, all very clear though very
distant, like things seen through the wrong end of a telescope. The only
drawback was that the coastline of most of the islands was incomplete, for the
map showed only what Drinianhad seen with his own eyes. When they were finished
the. Magician kept one himself and presented the other to Caspian: it still
hangs in his Chamber of Instruments at Cair Paravel. But the Magician could tell
them nothing about seas or lands further east. He did, however, tell them that
about seven years before a Narnian ship had put in at his waters and that she
had on board the lords Revilian, Argoz, Mavramorn and Rhoop: so they judged that
the golden man they had seen lying in Deathwater must be the Lord Restimar.
Next day, the Magician magically mended the stern of the Dawn Treader where it
had been damaged by the Sear Serpent and loaded her with useful gifts. There was
a most friendly parting, and when she sailed, two hours after noon, all the
Dufflepuds paddled out with her to the harbour mouth, and cheered until she was
out of sound of their cheering.