SHINER LEWIS
LIKE THE GENTLE RAIN
Author's note: The following was presented at an academic
conference on J.D.
Bernal's 1929 essay "The World, the Flesh and the Devil: An Inquiry into
the
Future of the Three Enemies of the Rational Soul."
I opened the door and saw only fog
and rain. A voice said, "Mrs. Donoran?" I
looked down, and there he was.
I'd never actually
seen a Scientist before, except on TV. He was the size of
Harold's ShopVac, a cylinder
mounted on a motorized platform, with smaller
plastic containers all around it. Clear
plastic hoses with bubbling liquids in
them went from the main cylinder to the other
containers. One was clear as
water, another red as blood, and the third looked like, well,
pee. At each
corner of the platform was a sort of arm, somewhere between a boom on a crane
and a lobster claw.
The eyes were the worst. There were four of them in all, two
swivel-mounted on
each side of the cylinder, each in a plastic box full of fluid with
cables
coming out the back. They looked like hard-boiled eggs with circles painted on
the
end and veins drawn along the sides. Every few seconds one of the lobster
claws would reach
around and squeegee the raindrops from the front of the clear
plastic boxes. Behind each of
the eyes was a microphone, and trailing off the
back were two whip antennas that looked
like the curb feelers on the new Hudsons
that you see in the commercials.
The rain was
beading up on his surfaces without burning him. I noticed there was
a small ScotchGuard VI
logo on the side of the cylinder, with the phrase "Rain?
What rain?[TM]"
"May we come in
please, Mrs. Donovan?" The voice sounded like those recorded
announcements at the mall,
smooth and deep and cheerful. I could hear him
saying, "No parking is allowed in the yellow
zone."
"Sure," I said. Not that I had any choice, but I would have felt better if this
hadn't
been Harold's morning at work. I stepped back and watched the Scientist
roll right on into
the living room, the rainwater dripping off him and leaving
yellow stains on the carpet.
All My Children was on the wall screen, and I kept
sneaking glances because they were
supposed to be taking Erica to the rest home
today. "You want a cup of coffee?"
"Coffee?" he
said. "Whatever fort"
"I don't know. Just trying to be polite."
"That will hardly be
necessary. We are Scientists." Then his voice changed, not
in pitch or anything obvious,
but it suddenly sounded as if somebody else were
using it. "You do mean synthi-caf, of
course? You were not offering us illegal
organic coffee?"
"Of course not." Even if I could
afford to buy real coffee on the black market,
I wouldn't waste it on something whose taste
buds consisted of a small chemical
analysis lab.
"Our new synthetic foods combine, after
all, physiological efficacy with a range
of flavor equal to what nature provides, even
exceeding it as taste demands."
"That's what they tell me," I said. "I've never actually
made the comparison
myself." I was lying. I tasted real coffee once and I still dream about
it.
"Nor will you have to. You may rely on our scientific judgment." He paused and
his voice
changed back to the way it had been. "We would like to inspect your
son Michael now."
A pang
of fear went through me. "Is ... something wrong?"
"On the contrary. Everything is going
extremely well. Please take us to the
child."
I led him to the nursery. Mikey was sleeping
on his stomach, perfectly still
except for his toes, which twitched like he was being
tickled by a dream
creature.
The Scientist swung one of his crane arms around and just
before it reached for
Mikey I saw the flash of a needle at the end of it. I lunged for him,
but
another arm came up, faster than I would have thought possible, and held me
back.
"There
is no need to be alarmed, Mrs. Donovan." I was, though. I was frightened
out of my mind and
I hated the way his voice stayed in that same
should-have-been-pleasant monotone, the way
he referred to himself as "we"
because he was wired in to untold others of his kind, all of
them watching me
through his eyes. "This is simply a standard DNA verification procedure.
Strictly routine."
The needle touched Mikey on his left upper arm and I saw him jerk
slightly at
the sting. I struggled but I still couldn't move.
"Our DNA analysis confirms
that this is indeed Michael Julian Donovan, son of
Jeanne and Herbert Donovan."
"Harold," I
said.
"Er, yes. Harold Donovan. Congratulations, Mrs. Donovan. Tests administered to
your
son during his gestation indicate remarkable intelligence potential. He has
been selected
for higher education as a potential Scientist."
"Higher ... there must be some kind of
mistake. He's only six weeks old."
"We don't make mistakes, Mrs. Donovan."
"You just did.
You got my husband's name wrong."
"A mere glitch. By higher education we mean higher in
quality. History,
mathematics, physics, eugenics, the teachings of the Master. We have
found that,
in order to maximize the potential of the intellect, education cannot begin too
soon."
I'd seen this on TV, proud parents handing their babies off to Scientists to
raise. I
tried to feel properly patriotic, but the emotion wouldn't come. "When
... when would you
want to take him?"
"Immediately, of course."
The floor wobbled under my feet. "You mean,
now?"
"I can see you are deeply moved, but I assure you, no thanks are required."
"Would I
... I mean, would I be going with him?"
"Certainly not."
"But ... who's going to sing to him
at night? Who's going to hold him when he
cries?"
"As the Master has said, we must be more
occupied with purely scientific
research, and much less with the necessity of satisfying
primary physiological
and psychological needs."
"If you don't see to his psychological need
for a mother, he's going to grow up
into some kind of, of, monster."
"Secondary changes
should not be taken into account when reacting to the primary
desire or stimulus, in this
case, the pursuit of science. Physiological steps
will be taken without consideration of
the psychological consequences. It is
hoped, of course, that these physiological steps will
lead to an unpredictably
large increase in mental grasp and efficiency."
"What do you mean,
'physiological steps'?"
"I refer, of course, to his ultimate physical transformation into a
Scientist
such as ourselves."
"You mean ... you're going to cut out his brain?"
An
unconvincing chuckle came out of the speakers. "He will have anywhere from
sixty to a
hundred and twenty years of larval, unspecialized existence, as the
Master says, surely
enough to satisfy the advocates of the 'natural' life?" With
that the Scientist produced a
waterproof sheet which he draped over Mikey's
sleeping body. He lifted the crib in two of
his claws and started toward the
door with it.
A lifetime of TV was still not enough to keep
me from reacting. I screamed and
lunged again for Mikey. The Scientist said, "This display
is extremely
inefficient, Mrs. Donovan." I felt a small stab of pain in one arm, and passed
out.
That was in April, April the 13th to be exact. It took until September 5th to
get an
audience with my Representative, a woman named Gowan. I was granted ten
minutes of her
time, between 9:40 and 9:50 in the morning.
Much had happened in those five months. Harold
left me in June, after two months
of mutual recriminations, sleepless nights, and my
unending depression. Which
meant my having to move to a singles block, with a smaller TV
and a communal gym
and swimming pool. I'd lost twenty pounds and was on my fourth
psychiatrist,
looking for something other than second-hand platitudes from government
pamphlets.
I probably did not look my best when I walked into Representative Gowan's
office. I'd been
awake all night and I'd spilled coffee --synthi-caf -- on my
blouse just as I was leaving
the house. I'd had trouble parking and my umbrella
had melted in the unusually acidic rain,
leaving me with singed hair and a
spotted jacket.
Gowan wore a tasteful white Chanel suit
and pretended not to be alarmed by my
appearance. She reached across her desk to shake my
hand and said, "I have your
letter here on my screen. You seem to object to your son being
selected for
higher education?" She sounded like she couldn't quite believe what she'd
read.
"He was only six weeks old when they took him. Babies don't need higher
education,
they need their families."
"Six weeks is the standard age for matriculation of Young
Scientists. That
minimizes the damage done by untrained parents while still allowing them a
nominal bonding period."
"Nominal? Six weeks?"
"After all, you did get to have him for the
entire nine months of his gestation.
Studies show we could have gotten quite a head start
on his training if we'd had
him for the last trimester. Mrs. Donovan, are you sure you're
watching enough
television?"
"Yes, yes, I'm sure."
"Did you have feelings of discontent or
dysphoria prior to your son's
selection?"
"No, certainly not. Harold and I were extremely
happy. We'd wanted a baby for so
long -- ten years we'd been trying -- and finally Mikey
came along and it was
like a miracle."
Gowan looked pointedly at her Rolex. "Mrs. Donoran,
do you dispute that your
home, your car, your TV, your clothes and meals are all furnished
to you by the
government?"
"Not but --"
"That in exchange for these comforts, you are
required to work only a few hours
a week at the laboratory to which you've been assigned?
Do you deny that the
government has a right to make use of its citizens as it sees fit?"
"No, but --"
"Mrs. Donoran. Do you know the first thing about magneto-fugal waves? About
transplutonian synchronicities? About hydrometalotany?"
"No, but --"
"Then how can you
presume to judge the methods chosen by the Scientists to
pursue these, and so many other
desperately important areas of research? It
seems that your problem, Mrs. Donovan, is not
with your son, but with yourself.
You are not clear about your position within society. As
the Master has said,
even a scientific state such as ours can maintain itself only by
perpetually
increasing its power over the non-living and," she stared pointedly at me,
"living
environment.
"The progress of science depends to a large extent on non-scientific humanity.
Routine workers such as yourself are needed in the laboratories, even public
servants such
as myself are necessary to provide an interface to the Scientific
Advisory Board. More
important still, the complexities of scientific -- and
particularly of theoretical
scientific -thought call for an ever greater number
of first class intelligences such as
your son, uh --"
"Mikey."
"Michael, yes. The modern development of science can hardly be
disconnected from
the political and economic changes that have made it possible to recruit
the
personnel of science from wider and wider circles. We have to ensure that all
capable
minds are utilized. Do you see that, Mrs. Donovan?"
"Um. No."
Gowan sighed and took a
blue-and-white strip of cardboard out of her desk
drawer. The words WISDOM OF THE MASTER
and ADMIT ONE were printed on it. "This
will allow you to consult with the Master himself.
Perhaps he can be of more
help to you."
"The Master? I thought he was d -- "
She held a
finger to her lips. "Only his flesh -- one of the three enemies of
his rational soul. He
lives on as an expert system, with a telepresence in three
hundred cities around the world.
Including right here in Dallas." She stood up
to offer her hand again so I rose and took it
reflexively. "Reservations are
necessary. The number is on the ticket."
As she sat down she
was already calling up her next appointment on her laptop.
In December I got a notice in
the mail telling me that my reservation to speak
with the Master himself was scheduled for
3:35 A.M. on February 23rd, which was
a Monday morning. "If you are scheduled for what
seems to be an odd hour," the
notice read, "have no fear! Remember that an expert system
needs no sleep!"
All I could think of was that by the time I saw the Master, Mikey would be
nearly a year old. He would have no memories of me, would have changed
physically, and been
changed emotionally, beyond my ability to recognize him.
I suppose my expectations were
unrealistic. I suppose I wanted someone to at
least take responsibility for what had
happened to my child. If nothing else, I
thought the Master would have some answers. So I
arrived a half-hour early, full
of synthi-caf, and waited on a plastic bench with a dozen
or so others until the
guards ushered me in at exactly 3:35.
The audience chamber was wide
and low, with floor, walls, and ceiling made of
polished granite. A rubber mat led to a
granite bench in the center of the room.
The bench faced a granite pedestal holding a TV
set even smaller than the one in
my apartment. On the TV was a face -kindly, elderly,
vaguely English-looking.
The eyes seemed to follow me. "Mrs. Donovan?"
"That's right."
"Please
sit down if that would make you more comfortable."
I didn't want to sit. "Do you know where
my son is?"
"I am not a part of the Scientist's network. But I know -- in principle -- what
has happened to him. He is being educated. This is hardly something for you to
be upset
about. He will, after all, have anywhere from sixty to one hundred and
twenty years --"
"As
a larva," I said. "I've heard this part. I want to know what kind of human
beings you think
you're producing this way."
"New men. We hope to leave humanity behind."
"How can Mikey
possibly be happy --"
"The man of the future will probably have discovered that happiness
is not an
end of life. We hope to place feelings under our conscious control, to favor,
for
example, the performance of a particular kind of operation."
"What about feelings like
compassion? Love? Comfort?"
"We must not assume static psychology. In achieving this future
we become
different; becoming different we desire something new. These feelings you
mention
may not be appropriate to our future."
The room was very cold. I saw then how they'd done
exactly what they wanted,
sending me first to Gowan and now to the Master, with the
achingly long months
in between. They'd held out enough hope to keep me from doing anything
truly
desperate, while slowly grinding down my will and my anger and every other
emotion I
needed to fight them.
I turned and began to walk away.
"Mrs. Donovan?" the voice said. "Do
you not have any further questions? You
still have seven minutes and twenty-three seconds
left."
I sat in my car and let the tears well up in my eyes. A good, long sob was just
about
to come out of my throat when a voice from behind me said, "Don't turn
around."
I turned
around. Wiping furiously at my eyes I saw the pieces of a Scientist
spread over most of the
back seat and floorboards.
"Please," he said. "If you'll just drive. I'll explain
everything as we go."
As I pulled away from the curb he said, "You are Mrs. Donovan, aren't
you ?"
"How did you know that?"
"I accessed the appointment records for the Master. You
seemed the most likely
to be sympathetic." There was a pause, then he said, "I'm sorry
about your son."
"What do you mean? Did something happen? Is he --"
"He's fine as far as I
know. I meant I was sorry that they took him from you.
That you've suffered."
The pain that
washed over me was almost physical. I felt it in my chest and neck
and eyes. "You're the
first one," I said, "who's actually said that to me."
"That's exactly my problem. Too many
emotions."
"Then how did you end up --"
"With my brain in a tin can? I was one of the first
ones they chose for the
program. They didn't have their psychological profiles very well
tuned at that
point. I was a second-rate history professor at a third-rate college with a
knack for I.Q. tests. They offered me the chance to spend the rest of my
'natural' life
studying at government expense, and then get a shot at
immortality. Who knew? By the time I
stumbled on some of the true history of the
last century I wanted out, of course, but it
was too late. They promised me I'd
see things differently once I was modified. Only I
didn't. And I don't. Which is
why I've spent the last twenty years organizing this escape."
"How is that possible? I thought you were all networked together into one big
brain."
"I got
kicked out of the network. I was 'contaminating' their pure scientific
thoughts. Listen,
this could still be dangerous for you. You could just stack me
up on some streetcorner if
you want. I wouldn't blame you."
"I really don't care anymore. What worse can they do to
me?" He didn't answer
that, which struck me as a bit ominous. "So where do you want to go?"
"I've got arrangements to be shipped out as cargo on a flight at midnight. If
you could
just let me off someplace where I could catch a shuttle?"
"They might find you," I said.
"You can stay at my apartment, and I'll drive you
out there tonight."
"That's terribly kind
of you. You don't even know me."
"I want something from you in return. I want you to tell
me everything you know
that might help me find my son."
I loaded his pieces into the freight
elevator in the parking garage under my
apartment block. No one saw me carry him into my
flat. Once inside I found a
crescent wrench and re-attached one of his crab claws so he
could put himself
back together.
"Do you have a name?" I asked.
"We Scientists simply
exchange icons electronically," he began, then hesitated.
"People used to call me Burr."
"Well, Burt, I'm going to have a cup of coffee."
"Oh God," he moaned. "Real coffee?"
"Synthi-caf."
"What I wouldn't do for even a cup of synthi-caf. Did you know that something
like 80 percent of the people they perform this operation on go irrevocably
insane within a
few hours? Of course you don't know. Nobody outside the network
does. But the sensory
deprivation during the operation and recovery, the loss of
neurons in the spinal cord, loss
of hormones, foreign data from the donated
eyes... "
"Why do they keep doing it?"
"They
figure we were old anyway. No loss if we have to be destroyed."
"You mean they just ...
kill the ones that go crazy?"
"Only somebody with emotions would hesitate at murder. Logic
only seeks the most
efficient way to carry it out. The Master himself said that both the
quantity
and quality of the population should be controlled by authority. And that there
might not be room for both the new men and the old men in the same world. The
better
organized beings -- the Scientists, of course -- will be obliged, he
said, to reduce the
numbers of the others in self-defense. Until they are no
longer 'seriously inconvenienced'
by them."
"This is unbelievable. Monstrous."
"Maybe, but it's nothing new. Do you know what
a 'Hooverville' is? I'm sure you
don't. They never made it into the history books. They
were named for Herbert
Hoover, who was President during a worldwide economic depression a
hundred years
ago. They were collections of shacks and tents and shanties at the edges of
major cities, filled with people who'd lost their jobs and homes. A man named
Anderson, who
became obsessed with the Master's ideas, was Attorney General
under Hoover. His first act
was the secret liquidation of what he called the
'hardcore and intransigent poor.'"
"He
turned them into liquid?"
"It was a euphemism. A polite way of saying murder. He spread the
Master's ideas
worldwide, and it was quietly decided that a second world war would be held
to
get the economies moving again. In the process they could eliminate the
remainder of the
lower classes and 'least intelligent' of the population."
"These people have Mikey," I
said. "We have to get him away from them."
"Wait. There's more I have to tell you. The
Scientists are only the tip of the
iceberg. You've seen us. It must be obvious to you that
we're not capable of
running the world. It's all a sham, and it's kept in place by --"
At
that moment the front door flew open and four men in dark suits walked in.
They all wore
mirrored sunglasses, all had bulges under their left arms, and all
had wires going to plugs
in their right ears. "Okay, pal," one of them said.
"That'll be enough."
"This is an
outrage," Burt said. He waved his crab claws in the air. "You have
no right to --"
One of
the suited men sidestepped a claw and pinched one of the clear plastic
tubes that led to
Burt's brain case.
"Glub," Butt said.
"Are you going to behave now, pal?"
"Glub," Burt said.
The man let go and Butt began to tremble. "Aw," said one of the other men. "You
scared
him."
"Damn things give me the creeps," said the one stepping away from Butt. "Looks
like a
damn talking ShopVac." He jerked his lapels down with both hands, then
tugged at his cuffs
as he looked at me.
"Who are you?" I said.
"Nobody," one of them said. "You never saw us."
He looked at the others. "Let's
get him out of here."
I took a step toward them, and the one
nearest me raised one hand, palm out. It
was a gesture of such menace that it rooted me to
the floor.
Another one looked at Butt. "You coming quietly, or do we have to muss you up?"
Butt held up two of his claws meekly, and with one of the suited men on either
side,
holding his hands as if he were a lost child, they led him out into the
hallway.
As soon as
the door slammed I ran to the window. Parked below was a huge
Cadillac with six doors,
black glass, and a small satellite dish. A few seconds
later the front door of the building
opened and the four men came out, still
leading Butt by the claws.
I ran for the elevator.
At first I stayed close, but once we were headed north in the bumper-to-bumper
traffic of
Central Expressway it was impossible to lose them. We passed the
island cities of Piano and
McKinney and finally exited at Allen, where we turned
east. Five miles out of town the
Cadillac pulled up to an estate surrounded by
high walls and a steel mesh gate. The gate
opened for them and clanged shut
again before I could follow.
I got out of the car and stood
in the rain to watch through the gate while the
Cadillac pulled up to a huge house with
columns in the front and elaborate
gardens on all sides. There were stacks of bright green
sod along the driveway
where the rain-burned lawn was being replaced. The men in suits took
Butt out of
the car and led him in through the double front doors, which were opened for
them by a man in a tuxedo.
I found a small speaker on one of the stone gateposts with a
button underneath
it. I held the button down until a voice came out of the speaker saying,
"Help
you?"
"Some men took a friend of mine into your house. I want to know what they're
doing
with him."
"Could you describe this friend of yours?"
"Um, short? Mostly metal?"
Someone
snickered in the background as the voice said, "I must have heard you
wrong. Are you
telling me that the little Scientist with the fried brain is your
friend?"
"That's right.
And I'm not leaving until I find out what you're doing to him."
"Suit yourself, lady."
The
speaker went dead. I leaned on the button again, but after ten minutes or so
my thumb got
tired. By that time the drizzle had soaked through my clothes and
was stinging my skin. I
shivered and turned away from the gate and saw the
police car pull up in front of me.
They
tried to let me go with a warning, but I wouldn't leave. That got them
scratching their
heads to come up with a charge to hold me on. Resisting
release? In the end they locked me
up as a public nuisance, and gave me a dry
T-shirt and jeans.
It was very quiet in the jail
overnight. I think I even slept a little. In the
morning I had a visitor. He was dressed in
baggy shorts, a knit shirt with an
open collar, and loafers with no socks. He was about
fifty years old, overweight
but not really fat. He had short white hair and an expression
of the mildest
possible interest on his face. The four men in suits with him might have
been
the same ones who kidnapped Burt.
They left me alone with the five of them in someone's
paneled and carpeted
office. The white-haired man said, "So. Your boyfriend has his brain
in a can."
"He's not my boyfriend. He's someone who was trying to help me. He was my last
hope."
"If that was your last hope, you must really be in trouble."
"Yes," I said,
exhausted, chilled, hungry and desperate, "I'm really in
trouble." Then, for no sensible
reason, I told him about Mikey and
Representative Gowan and my interview with the Master.
"You're one of the ones
Burt was talking about, aren't you? The ones who really run
things."
He tilted his head non-commit tally. "I assume Burt is your little robot buddy.
His other little robot pals want him back awful bad. Maybe I'll let them have
him, maybe
not."
"Who are you?"
"Me? I'm rich."
I nodded. "I'm Jeannie. Jeannie Donovan."
He looked
uncomfortable. "Rich isn't who I am, it's what I am."
"Oh."
"There aren't that many of us
left. We tend to devour each other. But yes, your
little friend Burt was right. We're the
ones. We let the Scientists pretend to
run things because they make us lots of money and
they come up with really neat
things for us to play with."
"So you let them cut people's
brains out and drive them crazy and kidnap
people's children and kill off the poor and
helpless."
"Money has a logic of its own. We're not that different, us and the Scientists.
Neither one of us is willing to let sentiment stand in the way of what we want.
The
difference is that rich people are seldom so pathetically naive."
"So what happens to me
now?"
The white-haired man picked up a heavy glass paperweight and let it roll in his
hand
for a while. Then he walked over and looked out the window at the rain. "I
think I'll find
your son for you," he said. "Don't get me wrong. Another day I
might have had you killed.
Or I might have tried to seduce you, and probably
would have succeeded, if I tried hard
enough. I can do anything. It's the big
payoff for getting to be where I am."
He turned to
face me. "Go home, Mrs. Donoran. Watch TV. You'll hear from me."
Three days later the
Cadillac pulled up in front of the apartment building. I
jerked back from the window where
I had been sitting for most of the last three
days, trying one minute to convince myself
that there was in fact hope, the next
equally desperate to believe that everything I
remembered since my interview
with the Master was some kind of hallucination.
Four men in
suits got out of the car. One of them had a bundle in his arms. I
ran into the hallway and
stood by the elevator, unable to breathe. The doors
finally opened. The man was carrying a
child, about a year old, dressed in
shorts and a tiny T-shirt. I had been wrong about one
thing. I did recognize
him, would have known him anywhere.
I took him in my arms, distantly
aware that I was sobbing. "How can I possibly
thank you?" I said.
"You can't," one of them
said, already turning away. "So I wouldn't even try."
"Wait. What about Burr? Is Burr
okay?"
"Your little robot buddy? He's fine. The boss has got him pulling weeds. Now
unless
you've got another two or three hundred questions, some of us have work
to do."
The elevator
doors closed and they were gone.
I looked down at the child in my arms. "Mikey," I said.
"It's really you."
"Well, of course," he said. "Who were you expecting, the Dalai Lama?"
"I ... I... "
"I'd offer to shake hands, but my muscular coordination is still very
primitive.
Do you think we could go inside?"
I was physically disoriented from the repeated
shocks. I nodded and carried him
into the apartment. "It's not strictly necessary," he
said, "to keep holding me
so tightly."
"What should I ... where do you... "
"The floor would
be fine, I should think."
I placed him carefully on the floor and he sat there, the very
model of a
beautiful year-old baby, except for the fierce light of intelligence in his
eyes.
"Do you know who I am?" I asked desperately. "Do you feel anything for me at
all?"
"Of
course I know who you are. I've had the situation explained to me."
"But you don't feel
anything? You'd just as soon be back there with the
Scientists?"
"Well, no, actually," he
said. "If the truth be known... " He looked to one
side, then the other, and lowered his
voice. "... they're really just a bunch of
poop-heads." He leaned back and pounded his baby
feet on the floor and laughed
and laughed and laughed.