JOHN MORRESSY
RIMRUNNER'S HOME
Rimrunner six touched down softly as a snowflake on a cat's
back. The
lock-jockeys and groundbugs took less than a minute to scramble back to cover,
then the port swung out and Vanderhorst started down the ramp. Lights were
everywhere. Off
to his left, a picket ship in a trim new design was poised on
her ring, vehicles darting
about in her shadow like ants around a fencepost.
Vanderhorst liked the look of her, but he
could spare the ship no more than a
glance. All his attention was on getting down the ramp
and into POP Headquarters
without stumbling. Downside gravity had him feeling like a
drunken elephant on
greased glass. It made no difference to him that there was no one to
see him
fall.
That was the standing rule: no one sees a rimrunner until he's been to POP for
debriefing. Other rules changed, but that one appeared to have remained.
Vanderhorst hated
debriefings. They were foolish and unnecessary and long. POP
ground control had monitored
and recorded every instant from liftoff to lock-in,
but they wanted a verbal account, even
though Vanderhorst had nothing to report
from this trip but his dreams.
He wondered if
anyone in POP actually expected a human to spot something the
instruments had missed. Each
time back, heading for debriefing, Vanderhorst
fantasized about reporting something twice
the size of the big rock of '06
heading straight for Washington. But he could not hope to
get away with a trick
like that. The instruments knew better. Even joking about it could
cost his job,
and he was not ready to give up rimrunning.
Doors loomed before him bearing
the interlaced silver rings of the Perimeter
Orbiting Patrol. He walked on without pausing
and they purred apart to admit
him. He passed through three more sets of doors and arrived
at last in the
debriefing room. Steadier on his feet now, but tired by the walk, he settled
heavily in the oversized soft chair that awaited.
The room was dull white, illuminated in
such a way as to minimize the sensation
of enclosure. Vanderhorst breathed deeply and
allowed himself to relax a little.
When the debriefer entered, Vanderhorst raised a hand in
greeting and remained
seated. He studied the newcomer. The man looked like the father of
someone he
knew.
"Remember me, Van?"
He had to think for a moment. "Bob Watts?"
"That's right.
Last time you saw me, I wasn't even showing a gray hair."
"It's only twenty-one months ago
for me. How long have I been out Earthtime?"
"Nineteen years, five months, twenty-four
days. Your health reads perfect, Van.
You can skip the medics, if you like."
"I'll skip
them."
"We have a new model picket ship. She's on North Ring Four."
"I had a quick look at
her."
"She's a beauty, Van. Roomier than Six, and about one-third Earth gravity
shipboard."
"Why the extra room? Do I toss in my sleep?"
"Wait till you see, Van. She's got a new type
of --"
"Hold all that," Vanderhorst broke in. "Right now, I want to get this over with
and
see what the world looks like this time around."
Watts raised a hand. "Anything you say,
Van. Unless you have something unusual
to report, you can go direct to Reacculturation."
"No formal debriefing?"
"Not for the last fourteen years. No point to them."
"I told the
smart boys that sixty years ago," Vanderhorst said. "Any other
changes I should know
about?"
"Nothing major. Reacculturation can tell you better than I can."
"You tell me. If
I've come back to trouble, I want to know."
"Nothing serious, Van. You've seen it all
before. POP isn't the people's
favorite these days, that's all."
"Why not? Did something get
by?"
"Nothing gets by POP. It's the old problems: money and politics. That new model
cost
ninety-four billion. It's one of four. Some people say that's too
expensive."
"Asteroid hits
are expensive, too," Vanderhorst said. "The one in '06 cost a
couple of trillion, and that
one landed in the ocean. What if the next one
knocks California into the Pacific?"
"That's
what we tell them, Van. But '06 was eighty years ago for downsiders. No
one remembers it."
"Do they remember the ones we took out before they hit?"
Watts shook his head. "Nobody
remembers what didn't happen, Van."
"So now there's talk of cutting the program. Is that
it?"
"Not from anyone who matters."
"Sometimes you don't know who matters until it's too
late."
"POP has friends, Van. You picked up a high-probable on this run, and we'll use
that
against the jokers who tell people that the odds against another big hit
are a million to
one. The program is safe."
Vanderhorst pushed himself up out of the chair. For an instant
he was unsteady.
Watts started to assist him, but checked himself.
"I'm doing just fine,
Bob," Vanderhorst said. "Is Reacculturation in the same
place as before?"
Watts nodded.
"Second door on the left. Good to have you back, Van."
This was the best debriefing yet.
Watts had kept it short and spoken straight.
Vanderhorst detested the assault of carefully
researched obsolete terms that
some POP staffers memorized to put rimrunners at their ease.
The artificial
speech was nothing more than a buffer, placing the staffers at a safe remove
from real contact.
Was it insensitivity, he wondered, or ignorance? Was it fear? Perhaps
none of
the downsiders in POP really wanted to know how it felt to be out there alone,
ringing
the solar system at half of lightspeed on a sixty-billion-mile circuit;
or what it was like
to come back to new words, new ideas, a new society on each
return and never know what the
reception was going to be.
Cutback talk was nothing new. On Vanderhorst's first return,
there had been
riots and an attack on the launch complex, but all that frenzy had passed
with
recovery from the depression of 2028. When he came back for the second time, in
'48,
all was calm. The last time back, in '67, rimrunners were folk heroes. He
had been on the
hollies every night for two weeks running. All three major
parties had approached him to
stand for office in the '68 elections.
If he had stayed downside that last time, he would
now be almost as old as
Watts. No, correct that. He would look almost as old. In fact he
would be much
older. That was the unsettling part, that sight of an old acquaintance aged a
score of years to his two. It made all the differences manifest and undeniable.
Rimrunners
cheated time and clocks and calendars, those universal tyrants: that
was what people
thought, and why everyone envied them, and some resented them,
and a few hated them,
despite the surface show of admiration. But the price of
those stolen years was high, and
few could pay it. One rimrunner out of a
hundred did a second circuit. So far, only
Vanderhorst had returned for a third
and a fourth.
Even in the stasis tank, isolation was a
palpable presence. Careful screening
training, and conditioning all helped make it more
bearable, but it was always
there, enclosing a man like his own skin. It did things to
people.
When he passed through the last door, Vanderhorst stopped and looked around in
mild
surprise. Reacculturation had a different look. The impersonal office he
recalled from his
last visit had been turned into a comfortable homelike setting
of the kind he had longed
for in childhood. Windows admitting sunlight and fresh
air, curtains blowing in a gentle
breeze, doors all standing ajar; nothing here
to confine him. A young couple, slim and
clean-featured, both of them smiling in
welcome, rose from chairs to greet him.
"Welcome
back, Captain Vanderhorst. It's an honor to have you here," the man
said, extending a hand.
"I'm Korry Long."
"I'm Jemma Tulio," the woman said.
"Jemma and I are a registered couple.
We're under a two-year option agreement,"
Korry said. "I daresay that doesn't mean much to
you, Captain."
"Not a thing."
Jemma took Vanderhorst's hand and led him to a chair. "There's
been considerable
change in the structuring of social relations. That's probably the most
significant alteration in the cultural pattern since your departure, so we
thought we'd
begin your reacculturation with that aspect."
The chair was set out from a corner, with
plenty of space before and on both
sides. Vanderhorst seated himself gingerly. "Is this
reacculturation? No more
talkdowns? No cramming?"
"This is the talkdown. Sleep-cram will be
administered only when you feel
ready," she said.
"So we just sit here and chat?"
"Exactly.
We find that it facilitates reintegration."
"Choppy down with me, runklers," Vanderhorst
said, folding his hands behind his
head. When they both turned vague, cautious smiles on
him, he said, "Sorry.
That's from before your time. I thought you'd have the old
expressions down
pat."
"We avoid conscious anachronisms now, Captain," Korry said.
"Call me
Van. And tell me more about social relations."
"There's been a strong resurgence of
traditional attitudes in the last fifteen
years. Apparently things were quite uninhibited
when you were home last."
"You make it sound as if I've been away to camp."
"I hope we
haven't offended --"
"Never mind. Yes, things were uninhibited," Vanderhorst said, smiling
faintly,
remembering the days of anything anyone wanted, anywhere, anytime, with anyone
at
all, until there was nothing left to want. The 2060s had been prosperous
years, and people
had lived them to the burnt-out end.
"So we've heard. It's different now."
"I expected
something like that. How different are they?"
Jemma responded. "Many things that were
acceptable during your last stay
downside are now under social sanction."
Her explanation
was unnecessary. The information was there for Vanderhorst to
see. Jemma was pretty, and
doing her best to conceal it. Makeup that gave her a
sallow coloration, close-cropped hair,
a dingy sack of a dress that concealed
her figure: here were the signs that he had come
back to leaner times. He
recalled the depression years of his first return. No wonder the
people are
screaming about POP's budget, he thought. They don't want rimrunners, they want
bread and circuses and sex. It's all they ever wanted.
"What's legal these days?" he asked.
"The government hasn't made life impossible, Van," Korry began with a show of
joviality.
"Times may be less free-wheeling, but --"
"Stop hedging. I've just spent nearly two years
in space. I may want company
once I've settled in, and I don't want to be arrested for
saying 'Hello' to a
woman."
Jemma laid her hand on his. "The government recognizes special
circumstances,
Van."
Vanderhorst looked from one to the other, then laughed. They did not
join in.
Still grinning, he said, "The new morality sounds like old-fashioned scodding
around,
only with government approval."
Jemma looked uncomfortable, "It's a very special privilege,
Van."
He raised a conciliatory hand. "I'll be grateful. And serious. Tell me more."
They
went on, speaking in turn, a well-rehearsed routine, and Vanderhorst
listened with a solemn
look on his sharp features. He nodded weightily from time
to time to demonstrate attention,
but his mind was only half on their words.
They had little to teach him.
Vanderhorst had
passed his youth in the shrill and angry years that bracketed
the millennium, a time when
half the world looked to the turn of the century as
an end and the other half saw it as a
beginning. Those who proclaimed Armageddon
felt that their prophecy was fulfilled, albeit
belatedly, when in 2006 a giant
meteorite plunged into the Indian Ocean.
For Vanderhorst,
the calamity meant deliverance. Within months the Perimeter
Orbiting Patrol had been
organized. Staffed and supported by most of the nations
of the world, its mission was to
serve as first line of defense: to detect and
destroy any incoming object that threatened
Earth or the lunar colonies. Its
budget was unlimited.
Volunteers were many; the qualified
were very few. For that fortunate handful,
POP offered the honor of being a "defender of
the farthest frontier," as its
promoters said. It also promised an extended lifespan and a
chance to amass
enormous wealth. To Vanderhorst, it afforded escape from the daily round of
hardship and indignity compounded by growing hatred for the generations that had
left their
children a drained and dirty world to live on. He knew that
regeneration would come, but no
one then alive could hope to see it -- except by
cheating time.
POP offered the cheater. In
return, it required two years of one's life, nearly
twenty of objective time, spent farther
out in space than any human had ever
ventured; alone, encapsulated, beyond all hope of help
from Earth, beyond all
contact with one's native world.
Vanderhorst considered it a fair
exchange. An only child, orphaned while young,
instinctively mistrustful of groups and more
independent than was socially
permissible, he seemed the ideal rimrunner: a loner by nature
and by choice. In
2008, he became the sixth to lift off.
He returned to Earth in 2028 with
vague memories of smothering blackness; of
hideous nightmares, of helplessness crushing him
like a weight. Nothing was
clear in his memory but the sensation of being utterly alone. He
vowed never to
go up again.
After three months downside, he reconsidered his vow. Four more
trips and he
could retire, an immensely rich man still physically in his thirties, though
Earth calculations would make him more than a century and a quarter old. He
debated,
weighed the alternatives, changed his mind half a dozen times, and then
went up again.
"Are
you listening, Van?" Jemma's voice broke into his reverie.
"It sounds as if I can be
arrested for doing anything that looks like I might
enjoy it."
"No one's arrested anymore,
Van. Offenders are offered social assistance."
"Offered? Then that means I can turn it
down, doesn't it?" They looked at him,
faces bland as wax. "All right, forget that remark.
Just run a summary of
behavior expectations into my cram. It's simpler that way," he said,
yawning.
"Put the update on POP status with government and public on the cram, too. I
want
all that clear in my mind by morning."
"Are you sure you don't want to talk any longer?
Personal contact is an
important part of reacculturation," Korry said.
"So is sleep. I've
been awake for most of the last three days. And I haven't
weighed a hundred kilos for a
long time."
"If you'd like companionship, Van, we're authorized..." Jemma smiled and let
her
voice trail into silence.
"Won't I need a permit?" Vanderhorst said, rising. "Thanks for
the kind offer,
but I'll take care of my personal relations all by myself."
He left them
with a definite feeling that there were a great many things about
the world of 2087 that he
was not going to like.
He awoke to bright sunlight, his head bursting with information. The
integration
of old and new was, as always, a confusing process. He felt blurry and out of
focus. Shutting his eyes tightly, he turned to the darker wall. After a time, he
rolled
over on his back and propped himself on his elbows. He yawned luxuriously
and looked over
the room. Like the Reacculturation Office, it was a turn of the
century setting. They were
bringing him down gently this time.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed and rose
cautiously. He felt more at
ease with normal gravity now than he had upon landing.
The
apartment had a shower with a strong flow. The water was clear and free of
the stale reek
of shipboard water. As he dried in the heat bay, soft notes
announced a call. He switched
on the speaker.
"Did you enjoy the shower, Van? We tried to get one like the ones you had
before
you went up."
"You don't have to recreate the world of my youth for me, Jemma. I can
adjust.
I've done it before."
"We're only trying to make things as easy as we can."
"How
about just letting me alone? I'm as updated as I want to be."
"You have press conferences
today."
"They're never a problem. All I do is read the script POP has written for me."
"Tomorrow
you meet with your financial advisors. It may take some time. Your
investments have grown
complicated over the years."
"Anything else?"
"There's a party."
"If I want a party, I'll
throw my own."
"This is important, Van, for you and for the program. Government people will
be
there. They're interested in meeting you."
"I'm not interested in meeting them."
"Please,
Van. It's really important." When he did not respond, Jemma went on,
"Other people will be
there, too. You'll enjoy it. And after that you'll be on
leave. No more interruptions."
The
formal attire of this time was simple in cut and subdued in color. In full
dress uniform,
Vanderhorst was the instantaneous center of attention when he,
Jemma, and Korry entered.
"That's Senator Dalton. She's Chairman of the Space Ops Committee," Korry said.
Vanderhorst
followed Korry's sightline and saw a tall, slim woman with silver
hair standing with a
younger man and a woman. As soon as Dalton noticed them she
raised a hand in greeting.
Korry steered Vanderhorst toward the threesome.
"It's good of you to come, Captain
Vanderhorst," Dalton said. "This is Doree and
Jake Fosset. Jake is my senior advisor. I
must say, we're all proud of the
rimrunners. You're brave people doing a hard, lonely job."
"We're paid for it."
"There's more to it than the pay, Captain. I'm sure of that."
"I think
mostly about the pay," Vanderhorst said, edging around so that his back
was to the window.
He glanced at Korry, who appeared ready to burst into tears.
Jemma forced a smile.
Dalton
said, "You're an honest man, Captain. Whatever POP offered, you'd never
get me to circle
the solar system for a twenty-year hitch."
"It doesn't feel like twenty. Doesn't feel like
much of anything, to tell the
truth."
"You spend most of your time sleeping, isn't that
right? There are people who
accuse us in Washington of doing much the same."
"I get my rest,
Senator."
"From what I've read, you were born a century ago. You certainly don't look a
century
old."
Vanderhorst emptied his glass. "I may in the morning."
Dalton burst into laughter.
"You say exactly what you think, Captain. I admire
that."
"Good," Vanderhorst said. His
expression did not change. He felt the crowd
pressing in on him, and stepped back to
distance himself. His jaw was set tight.
"Tell me, Captain, is it difficult out there?"
Doree Fosset asked.
"Is what difficult?"
"The work. The mission."
"Easiest job I ever had.
The machines do all the work. Even the thinking."
"I didn't mean difficult in that sense. I
was thinking of the isolation. It must
be terrible. All that time, and so far from home.
Confined in a small space, no
outlet. ..." Doree looked at him innocently and made a vague
gesture with her
hand.
Vanderhorst looked her up and down slowly, appraisingly, and said
nothing. The
silence drew to an uncomfortable length. Korry leaned forward and said, "Van
has
four circuits to his credit. He knows how --"
"Mostly, you're asleep," Vanderhorst broke
in. His voice was bland, almost
clinical, as if he were lecturing to an academy. "It's bad
when you're awakened,
because that means there's trouble. You hope it's not something
that's sent you
shooting out into the universe with the sleep tank out of commission.
That's big
trouble. You hope it's something you can fix pretty damned fast. Once you're
awake,
you can't wait to go back in the tank, because you don't like what you're
thinking. You
curse yourself for being fool enough to go up, and you begin to
hate the people who sent
you. You think of letting a big one slip by and give
them a good scare. Then you hate
yourself for thinking that way, and wonder if
you're going crazy. But you make the repairs
and get back into the tank and hope
for sweet dreams. That's how the time passes."
Jake
Fosset asked, "Why send people out at all?"
"Can't trust the machines."
"Then why use
machines?"
"Can't trust people, either. You need both."
"Do we, really? A lot of people
question the rimrunner program. From what you
say, they may have a point," Fosset said.
Long
periods of isolation had sharpened Vanderhorst's receptiveness to unspoken
communication;
he sometimes felt that he could read people as easily as he read
an instrument screen.
Fosset was not very subtly probing for reactions while his
wife assisted and his boss
observed. Vanderhorst had encountered their types in
every generation.
"And what's their
point?" Vanderhorst asked.
"POP is a costly program, and costs keep rising. We have no way
of knowing
whether or not it's effective. A lot of people think there may be a better way
of protecting ourselves."
"What do they suggest?"
"Nothing specific. It's all very
tentative, you understand. It may turn out that
rimrunners are the best solution."
Vanderhorst
turned to Dalton. "Has anything hit Earth since '06?"
"Nothing big enough to frighten
anyone, Captain."
"Then maybe we're effective."
"Are you saying that the rimrunners deserve
credit for the absence of asteroid
strikes?" Fosset said. "Well, really, Captain, I find
that --"
"Who the hell else can claim credit? You? I didn't see anybody else out there,
Fosset.
Not you, not the Senator, not anybody. I was alone, protecting your
ass."
Vanderhorst's eyes
remained on Fosset. Others glanced at them, but kept a safe
distance. Fosset backed away
and Dalton said mildly, "Jake's not trying to deny
rimrunners the recognition and gratitude
they've earned, Captain. He's only
making the reasonable point that we can't be absolutely
certain that our safety
is the direct result of your efforts."
"So all you want is absolute
certainty, and you'll be satisfied."
"Obviously that's impossible."
"It always was, and
everybody knows it. POP is cheap insurance, Senator, nothing
more. You stake a few billion
a year against the chance of losing a thousand
times as much."
"It's rather more than a few
billion."
"Even if we never spotted anything bigger than a snowball, we pay our way ten
times
over."
"Very possibly. I must point out, though, that the country is currently
experiencing
economic difficulties," Dalton said.
"Maybe that's because lobies like this one are yapping
about cutting the only
government program that does what it's supposed to do."
"I confess
I've never looked at it that way," Dalton said. Vanderhorst. felt a
nudge in his ribs and
turned to see Korry, looking agonized, close at his side.
"It's unfair for me to monopolize
the guest of honor. We'll talk again,
Captain," Dalton said, moving off smoothly, the
Fossets in her wake.
When they were out of earshot, Jemma said in a low, furious voice,
"Are you
trying to destroy the program?"
"You wanted me to talk to Dalton. I talked."
"Yes,
but the way you talked. ..."
"I don't like her. Or her lapdog. They're posturing frauds. If
anyone in any
government dared to cut the program and an asteroid the size of a golfball
landed in the middle of the Gobi Desert, they'd be lynched. They know it, you
know it, I
know it. But they play at being important and I hate them for it."
"Van, you mustn't --"
"I told you I'm not good at this."
"What was it you called Fosset?" Korry asked.
"Lobie. You
called him a lobie. What's that?" Jemma demanded.
"Before your time. Forget it."
She frowned
and looked at Korry. He raised his brows and shook his head.
Abruptly, Jemma's eyes
widened. She looked at Vanderhorst in horror and said,
"That's what they used to call
lobotomized social offenders! And the kids who
imitated them, the lobie gangs. Vandals and
criminals!"
"It fits Fosset. Maybe Dalton, too. Now let's drop it. I've done my part and I
want a drink." He walked away and left them standing by themselves.
The lodge at Silverhill
offered a prospect that Vanderhorst had dreamed of as he
rode beyond the farthest orbit of
the solar system. Soft hills, flower-carpeted,
fell away to a crystal lake. Beyond them
rose the mountains, green-skirted and
crowned in white. The skies were clean. No cities, no
houses, no other works of
man were to be seen. This was the Earth he dreamed of in the
black void beyond
Pluto, the planet he feared for and considered worth the risk of his life
and
his sanity.
Popular belief had downside rimrunners abandoning themselves to debauchery;
and
indeed, while aloft Vanderhorst sometimes spun lurid fantasies of his coming
Earthtime.
But on his last two returns, he found that what he wanted most was
time to sit back and
look, to walk without boundaries and breathe unrecycled
air. Thanks to eighty years'
accumulated wealth, he could patronize one of the
few unspoiled areas in North America.
Vanderhorst
had learned of Silverhill on his last return, and found that it
offered a better method of
reacculturation than POP had yet devised. Here one
could see others and yet remain apart.
Companionship could be had when it was
desired and endured no longer than it pleased.
Open
spaces brimming with the sounds and smells of life drew Vanderhorst on long
solitary walks.
He sat for hours on a hillside, or under a tree, his back
against the rough bark, absorbing
his surroundings. One entire morning he passed
listening to birdsong, and once he glimpsed
a hawk. He spent his days out of
doors regardless of the weather. The warmth of sun or the
cool touch of rain on
his upturned face were equally welcome. The nightly return of
familiar stars was
assurance.
He dined elaborately with a companion engaged for the evening.
There was no talk
of social relations or government approval. Sometimes he chose to end the
day
alone.
Silverhill offered an oversized circumferential hollie unit for each lodge. The
hollies had made great advances since his last time downside, and Vanderhorst
found the
sensation fascinating. Not long before, he had been wrapped in the
vast emptiness of the
fringes of interstellar space. Now he could immerse
himself in a simulacrum of life. At the
center of a swarm of humans that
appeared as real as himself, he could participate in the
intrigues and
assignations of the mighty, be a witness to famous events, a partner to
history
and romance; he could enjoy any experience he could conceive. And all came and
went
at his will, for the touching of a button.
One crisp and cloudless night he returned to his
lodge and found the message
light flashing. His first reaction was surprise, which turned
almost at once to
anger. He pressed the transmit plate. A smiling face appeared on the
small
screen.
"My message signal is on. Is it a mistake?"
"No, sir. The message was received
at 21:27."
"Who was it?"
"The caller left no name, sir. It was voice only, no visual."
"Are
you sure it was for me?"
"It was for the gentleman in Frostwood Lodge, sir. The caller left
a number for
you to call."
"I don't want any messages. Don't connect anybody, understand?"
"You will not be disturbed, sir."
Vanderhorst was at Silverhill under a carefully
maintained false identity, using
a supposedly untraceable credit line. Damn POP and their
meddling, he thought.
I'm done with them until briefing time, and I want their claws out of
my hide.
He wondered whether Watts had called, or Korry, or Jemma, or some officious
underling
running errands for his chief; and he wondered why there had been only
a call, and no one
had come bursting in on him, and how long it would be before
they dared that.
After a simple
dinner, he settled in the middle of the hollie and sampled the
offerings. For lack of
anything more interesting, he selected "Evening on the
Town (Comedy)."
A crowded room phased
into existence around him, filled with the low murmur of
muted conversations, the muffled
clink and clatter of dining and drinking,
occasional distant laughter, unobtrusive music in
the background. A light blazed
some five meters ahead and a young man in a gaudy cloak,
leaning heavily on a
long staff, limped into sight.
From his updating, Vanderhorst
recognized the man as an eccentric, one of the
popular entertainers of the period.
Eccentrics were story-tellers, descendants
of the old standup comics and flatscreeners. By
convention, they all affected a
minor physical disability and pretended to great
earnestness in their delivery.
"Here's the latest from the colonies," the limping man said,
clasping both hands
around his staff and thrusting his head forward. "Sixty-three lunies
have
kidnapped the Vice President of Terralune Gravitronics. One did the actual
kidnapping.
The other sixty-two are still trying to write the ransom note."
Laughter rose around
Vanderhorst. He did not join in. The eccentric brandished
his staff and the laughter died.
"The lunies complain that everything we send up costs too much. They say we're
getting rich
off them down here," he said, looking about with a challenging
glare. "What do they expect?
Every tube of soap has to come with an instruction
program."
The laughter began again.
Vanderhorst cut it short with a jab of his finger. The
crowd vanished, and he was alone in
the circular room, in silence and faint
light.
He admired the lunar colonists and did not
enjoy jokes that belittled them. The
worst things never change, he reflected. The
staybehinds send others out to do
their sweatwork and watch over their cozy world, and
begrudge them so much as a
"Thanks." His father had told him how the staybehinds had
treated veterans of
his own long-forgotten war. It was no different then. But lunies and
rimrunners
had a deadlier enemy, and no hope of victory. Space always won in the end.
Downsiders
could not understand them, so they derided them.
Vanderhorst's mood grew sour. The humor of
this age angered him. He had heard
those jokes before; they were undying, and he despised
those who laughed at
mockery of better men and women. In the sixties the butt was the
shackers, the
swarms of poor that encircled every urban complex. Shackers were fair game
for
scorn: the methmen who recycled human waste were called "Shackie chefs" by
urbanites
whose chief concern in the sanctuary of their towers was overeating.
The targets back in
the forties were the lobies. Before that, there were other
out-of-favor groups.
But never
before had these jokes been public fare. He wondered what the lunar
settlers had done -- or
achieved -- to turn downsiders so openly against them.
His sleep-cram had not been helpful
on that subject. One day, he thought, it
will be rimrunners.
Two days later, Senator Dalton
came to Silverhill. She was seated on the deck of
Frostwood Lodge when Vanderhorst returned
at dusk from a day of solitary
walking.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Vanderhorst
demanded.
"I had to see you, Captain."
"I don't want to see anybody."
"Please, Captain. I
have an important matter to discuss with you."
"You tried to reach me the other night,
didn't you?"
"Yes. I've tried several times since then. They refused to put me through, so
I
came myself. It's important."
"Not to me."
"To you and to the program. Give me a few
minutes. If I can't persuade you to
listen on, I'll leave."
Vanderhorst hesitated for a
moment, frowning. "All right. We'll talk out here.
What do you want?"
"To hear about POP's
work from someone who actually does it."
"I told you the other night. The machines do the
work. I'm along in case they
need a kick. On four runs I've spent a total of fewer than a
hundred hours
awake."
"How do you perceive the rimrunners' mission?"
"We're the forward
observers. We register incoming objects above a given mass,
compute their trajectories, and
send the data in to the Solomons. If the
Solomons decide that an object is a danger to
Earth or the colonies, they alert
the Paladins. The Paladins take appropriate action. The
system works.
Forty-seven alerts and twenty-two takeouts since POP began."
"Was each of
those takeouts a serious threat?"
"The Solomons thought so. I won't argue."
Dalton was
silent for a time, then she said, "The Solomons and Paladins are
unmanned. Do you have as
much confidence in the unmanned satellites as you do in
the Rimrunners?"
"Why not? They're
simpler. Less to go wrong. And they're closer in, and moving
slower, so they can be
monitored from Earth."
"What if you had a malfunction and couldn't repair it?"
"Depends on
the malfunction. If it was in the instruments, no problem. The
Solomons would pick up
anything that got past a rimrunner. They'd have less time
and less data to work with,
though. The odds in favor of the asteroid would
improve."
"And if the Solomons failed, too?"
"The Paladins automatically destroy anything that reaches lunar orbit without
clearance."
Vanderhorst gave a little humorless laugh. "Tough if it happened to
be a friendly alien."
"What if all three systems failed?"
Vanderhorst shrugged. "You could pray. That's what they
did in the old days,
isn't it?"
"Do you believe in prayer?"
"Under those conditions, I'd pray
whether I believed in it or not."
"Suppose there was another kind of malfunction, something
in the ship itself?"
"Then I'd be the farthest traveler in the history of the human race."
Dalton nodded. "And what if Rimrunner Vanderhorst malfunctioned?"
"What are you reaching
for, Senator?"
"Just suppose a rimrunner was awakened for an emergency and broke under the
stress. What damage could he do? Could he reroute his ship, or relay false
data?"
"Rimrunners
don't break."
"Equipment does. Backup systems fail. So do people, more often than we like
to
admit. What's the worst possible damage a rimrunner could do? I want to know. I
have to
make decisions and recommendations, and I need data, not blind faith."
When Vanderhorst did
not reply, she went on, "Did you know that during your last
circuit, two downside
rimrunners committed crimes of violence and one tried to
kill herself? The public hears
these things and fears you."
"Then let the public go out there."
"Open up, Captain. You
scorn the human race, and yet you go out time after time
and risk your life to keep us
safe." Dalton raised a hand to forestall
objection. "Don't tell me you're doing it for the
money. You're already one of
the richest men in the world."
"I go out for Earth's sake. It's
a beautiful planet, and I want it to be here
when the human race has slobbered its way into
extinction."
"There's rather less chance of that than there was a few generations ago.
Things
have improved."
"I haven't noticed. Every time I come down I'm disappointed. I keep
telling
myself I'll do one more run, and things will be better. They never are."
"The others
feel almost exactly as you do. Every rimrunner spoke of loving the
world and despising the
people on it," Dalton said.
"That's what makes us good rimrunners. We're not selected for
our warm hearts.
What difference does it make how we feel?"
"It makes a great difference.
There's an unbridgeable gulf between the
protectors and those they protect."
"There always
has been, Senator. All the way back to my father's time, and
probably a long time before
that." They sat enshrouded in darkness and silence.
Dalton made no reply. At last
Vanderhorst stood and said, "Come inside. We can
talk better if we can see each other."
Their
footsteps resounded on the wooden deck. Vanderhorst entered the lodge,
turned on the
lights, and waved Dalton to a seat. "Tell me more about the
others," he said.
"I should
think you'd know them better than I do."
Vanderhorst shook his head. "We don't socialize,
not even with other rimrunners.
It's not in our natures. I knew only one rimrunner well.
Moira trained with me.
We planned to go out for three runs each, then settle down to enjoy
our
fortunes. She walked out on me and POP first time downside. If Moira's still
alive,
she's a hundred and two years old. And I'm thirty-four. Or a hundred and
five, depending on
how you calculate. Not your typical couple."
"Rimrunners aren't typical. That's why they
make the public uneasy."
"The average citizen couldn't last ten days on a picket ship. That
doesn't mean
that those who can are freaks."
"I'm not saying you're freaks, Vanderhorst. I'm
saying that you're different in
a way that scares people. Take yourself, for example: born
in a time of social
unrest, your father a decorated hero in a war that many Americans
condemned.
Orphaned at seven and bounced around a dozen foster homes. Because of your work,
you've become a man without roots. Except for a score of rimrunners, everyone
else born in
your time is dead."
"All true. But so what?"
"You're the living embodiment of two things the
people of this time fear:
violence and alienation. All our social analysts consider them
the besetting
sicknesses of the twentieth century and warn us that we've survived only
because
we've overcome them."
"You haven't overcome them. You've just learned to cover them
over."
"It may look that way to you, but violence is rare these days, and alienation
afflicts
only a small number. Yet the rimrunners -- people we need, people we
trust to be our first
line of planetary defense -- are living examples of these
very ills."
"Why don't you just
put us in quarantine? Send us up, but don't let us land."
"That's been suggested."
"This is
the first I've heard. Spell it out for me."
"This is confidential, Captain. Understood?
Absolutely confidential."
"Understood."
"Three years ago, a special commission recommended
that rimrunner operations be
moved to Luna IV and consolidated with the Solomon and Paladin
complexes. A
settlement was to be built especially for rimrunner personnel --"
"The
ungrateful gutless bastards," Vanderhorst said, rising.
"The recommendation was soundly
rejected. It's never come up again. I mention it
only as a sign of the fears in some
minds."
"Some minds. Descendants of the sons of bitches who spat at my father when he
came
back from a war they dodged." Vanderhorst sank back into his chair. He
stared blankly
ahead, his breathing audible in the silence. "I think you'd be
smart to leave now," he said
at last.
"I fought the recommendation, and helped defeat it. I'll fight it again, i(it
comes
up."
Without moving, Vanderhorst said, "When I lock in from my next circuit, it will
be
2107. You'll be in your eighties. Maybe you'll be dead. Which way will the
vote go then?"
"You could stay down and work for the program."
"Surrounded by lobies who think I'm crazy?
I'll go up, Senator."
"I'm sorry," Dalton said. She rose and left the lodge. A few minutes
after her
departure, Vanderhorst, in a hushed voice, said, "Thanks." He drew himself up
out
of the chair and poured himself a drink.
Shortly after one o'clock, bottle in hand, he made
his way to the communications
panel and punched in Korry and Jemma's personal code. The
signal rang softly on,
and he waited, and at last the screen glowed to life to reveal a
sleepy Jemma.
"Van! Are you all right?"
"You told Dalton. Let us think we're being left
alone, but you're always
looking, keeping an eye on us so we don't screw up your handout."
"Tell us where you are, Van, so we can help you."
"I don't want your help. I don't want
anything to do with any of you."
Jemma's voice was low, taut with controlled urgency. "Van,
tell us where you
are. We'll come to you, and we'll work this out together. It's better
that way.
Trust us, Van."
Vanderhorst rubbed his eyes. When he looked again, he glimpsed
Jemma's gesture
to someone beyond screen range. At the sight of him, she reached out
imploringly
and said, "Please tell us, Van. Let us help you."
Without a word, he drew back
his arm and with all his strength flung the bottle
squarely into the screened image. He
stood for a few minutes before the
shattered panel, feeling a great satisfaction, then he
turned and quickly
gathered his few possessions.
Except for the pale green carpet,
everything in the room was a cool restful
blue. The colors, Vanderhorst had been told by
smiling, earnest social
assistants, would help him relax. He did not relax. They looked at
him ruefully,
spoke to him gently, and never stopped smiling.
On his second morning in the
Assistance House, he began to wonder how long he
would be staying. Unfailing smiles and
bland words did not deceive him. He was a
prisoner and he knew it. If alienation and
violence were crimes in 2087, then he
was a criminal. If they were illnesses, he was a
patient. Whatever they chose to
consider him, he was not free.
For the moment, he was
content to leave the next move to his keepers. His lip
was cut and swollen, and there was a
painful lump on his temple. Whatever the
authorities might think, there were still a few
violent people left out there.
His knuckles were heavily coated with curafilm, and he found
it awkward and
uncomfortable to flex his fingers. His memory was jumbled. He had drunk a
great
deal, roared against the human race, struck out at everyone who came within
reach;
that much he could remember. And now he was thoroughly disgusted with
himself. He did not
belong to this time, and never would.
A soft tone announced his morning meal. He rose from
his bed, stretched, and
went to the serving slot. The screen above the opening brightened
at his
approach, and a smiling young woman appeared, greeting him, "Good morning,
Captain
Vanderhorst. Did you sleep well?"
"I always sleep very well. It's a big part of my job."
"We want you to get back into proper condition. You've placed quite a strain on
your body
these past --"
"How about breakfast?" he broke in.
"Certainly, Captain. Do you feel more
like talking with us today? We're very
fortunate. The senior counselor is free all
afternoon, and he's personally
interested in offering you --"
"All I want from anyone here
is breakfast. Do I get it?"
She took on the expression of a mother whose child has
misbehaved and now revels
in his misbehavior. "Captain Vanderhorst, if you tried to
understand what we
want to do for you, I'm sure you'd be glad to cooperate with us."
"I
never cooperate on an empty stomach."
Each meal on that and the following days was served
to a similar accompaniment
of cajolery and gently expressed concern. Early in the evening
of the fifth day,
as Vanderhorst sat at his pale blue table, playing solitaire, his door
opened. A
husky junior social assistant stood in the opening. In one hand he held a small
travel case.
"Will you come with me, please, Captain Vanderhorst?"
"Where are we going?"
"You've
been cleared for re-entry in the mainstream. For your own sake, Captain,
you ought to --"
"Just show me the way out."
To his surprise, the young man did so at once. Vanderhorst had
anticipated a
marathon of interviews and a final outpouring of solicitude by the entire
staff
of the Assistance House. Instead, he was led through pale blue corridors and
down
gentle ramps to a plain door. The junior social assistant handed him his
travel case,
opened the door, and said, "It was our pleasure to offer
assistance, Captain Vanderhorst."
Vanderhorst did not reply. He was too surprised by the sight of Senator Dalton,
standing by
a private landroller.
"Did you get me out?" he asked.
"I spoke to a few people. Are you
ready to go up again?"
"Will I be allowed to land on Earth?"
"As long as I have any
influence, you've got a home here. I hope you'll make
less trouble next time, though," she
said.
"I'll be a hundred and twenty-five when I get back. Maybe I'll be wiser."
"And I'll be
eighty-one, as you reminded me. I'll be supporting you, but my
support may not be as
effective as it is now. Things could go against you and
the program. You must know that."
Vanderhorst shrugged. "I wouldn't help the cause much if I stayed down. I'm not
a good
politician."
Dalton laughed. "That may be the greatest understatement I've ever heard. I
guess we're all better off sticking with what we do best."
Vanderhorst settled into the
comfort of the landroller. It left the Assistance
Compound slowly, then dipped and locked
into the exurban track and accelerated
to cruising speed. Embankments rose on either side,
blocking out the manmade
world. The evening sky unrolled above, unobstructed and undefiled.
He believed that Dalton would keep her word and do her best, but he had no
illusions and to
his surprise, felt no concern. A home on Earth might be his by
right, but Dalton's success
or failure in assuring it hardly mattered now. There
was no place here for Vanderhorst.
He
loved the sight of this world, so bright against the blackness, so much
easier to look at
than to live on. On Luna, he could have the view without the
complications. Gravity would
be easier, too, and require no adjusting. He might
even meet people he could talk to, and
like, and live with in peace. He could be
happy there.
He burst into sudden laughter, and
Dalton looked at him curiously.
Grinning, he said, "I was thinking what my father would say
if he knew that I
was trusting my future to a politician."
He threw his head back and
laughed for pure joy, feeling the tension and anger
of downside drop away like a cast-off
garment. The sky was a deeper blue now,
and the first stars were out. Vanderhorst looked up
and sighed with
satisfaction. It was good to be heading home.