His name
was Malicious, and you can look it up in the
_American Racing Manual_: from ages 2 to 4, he won 5
of his 46
starts, had seven different owners, and never changed
hands for
more than $800.
His method of running was simple
and to the point: he was
usually last out of the gate, last on the backstretch,
last around
the far turn, and last at the finish wire.
He didn't have a nickname back
then, either. Exterminator may
have been Old Bones, and Man o' War was Big Red, and
of course
Equipoise was the Chocolate Soldier, but Malicious was
just plain
Malicious.
Turns out he was pretty well-named,
after all.
It was at Santa Anita in February
of 1935 -- and _this_ you
can't look up in the _Racing Manual_, or the _Daily Racing
Form
Chart Book_, or any of the other usual sources, so you're
just
going to have to take my word for it -- and Malicious
was being
rubbed down by Chancey McGregor, who had once been a
jockey until
he got too heavy, and had latched on as a groom because
he didn't
know anything but the racetrack. Chancey had been trying
to
supplement his income by betting on the races, but he
was no
better at picking horses than at riding them -- he had
a passion
for claimers who were moving up in class, which any tout
will tell
you is a quick way to go broke -- and old Chancey, he
was getting
mighty desperate, and on this particular morning he stopped
rubbing Malicious and put him in his stall, and then
started
trading low whispers with a gnarly little man who had
just
appeared in the shed row with no visitor's pass or anything,
and
after a couple of minutes they shook hands and the gnarly
little
man pricked Chancey's thumb with something sharp and
then held it
onto a piece of paper.
Well, Chancey started winning
big that very afternoon, and
the next day he hit a 200-to-1 shot, and the day after
that he
knocked down a $768.40 daily double. And because he was
a good-
hearted man, he spread his money around, made a lot of
girls
happy, at least temporarily, and even started bringing
sugar cubes
to the barn with him every morning. Old Malicious, he
just loved
those sugar cubes, and because he was just a horse, he
decided
that he loved Chancey McGregor too.
Then one hot July day that summer
-- Malicious had now lost
14 in a row since he upset a cheap field back in October
the
previous year -- Chancey was rubbing him down at Hollywood
Park,
adjusting the bandages on his forelegs, and suddenly
the gnarly
little man appeared inside the stall.
"It's time," he whispered to
Chancey.
Chancey dropped his sponge onto
the straw that covered the
floor of the stall, and just kind of backed away, his
eyes so wide
they looked like they were going to pop out of his head.
"But it's only July," he said
in a real shakey voice.
"A deal's a deal," said the
gnarly man.
"But I was supposed to have
two years!" whimpered Chancey.
"You've been betting at five
tracks with your bookie," said
the gnarly man with a grin. "You've had two years worth
of
winning, and now I've come to claim what's mine."
Chancey backed away from the
gnarly man, putting Malicious
between them. The little man advanced toward him, and
Malicious,
who sensed that his source of sugar cubes was in trouble,
lashed
out with a forefoot and caught the gnarly little man
right in the
middle of the forehead. It was a blow that would have
killed most
normal men, but as you've probably guessed by now, this
wasn't any
normal man in the stall with Malicious and Chancey, and
he just
sat down hard.
"You can't keep away from me
forever, Chancey McGregor," he
hissed, pointing a skinny finger at the groom. "I'll
get you for
this." He turned to Malicious. "I'll get you _both_ for
this,
horse, and you can count on it!"
And with that, there was a puff
of smoke, and suddenly the
gnarly little man was gone.
Well, the gnarly little man,
being who he was, didn't have to
wait long to catch up with Chancey. He found him cavorting
with
fast gamblers and loose women two nights later, and off
he took
him, and that was the end of Chancey McGregor.
But Malicious was another story.
Three times the gnarly
little man tried to approach Malicious in his stall,
and three
times Malicious kicked him clear out into the aisle,
and finally
the gnarly little man decided to change his tactics,
and what he
did was to wait for Malicious on the far turn with a
great big
stick in his hand. Being who he was, he made sure that
nobody in
the grandstand or the clubhouse could see him, but it
wouldn't
have been a proper vengeance if Malicious couldn't see
him, so he
made a little adjustment, and just as Malicious hit the
far turn,
trailing by his usual 20 lengths, up popped the gnarly
little man,
swinging the paddle for all he was worth.
"I got you now, horse!" he screamed
-- but Malicious took off
like the devil was after him, which was exactly the case,
and won
the race by seven lengths.
As he was being led to the winner's
circle, Malicious looked
off to his left, and there was the gnarly little man,
glaring at
him.
"I'll be waiting for you next
time, horse," he promised, and
sure enough, he was.
And Malicious won _that_ race
by nine lengths.
And the gnarly little man kept
waiting, and Malicious kept
moving into high gear every time he hit the far turn,
and before
long the crowds fell in love with him, and Joe Hernandez,
who
called every race in California, became famous for crying
"...and
here comes Malish!"
Santa Anita started selling
Malish t-shirts 30 years before
t-shirts became popular, and Hollywood sold Malish coffee
mugs,
and every time old Malish won, he made the national news.
At the
end of his seventh year, he even led the Rose Bowl parade
in Pasadena. (Don't take _my_ word for it; there was
a photo of it
in _Time_.)
By the time he turned eight
years old, Malish started slowing
down, and the only thing that kept him safe was that
the gnarly
little man was slowing down too, and one day he came
to Malish's
stall, and this time he looked more tired than angry,
and Malish
just stared at him without kicking or biting.
"Horse," said the gnarly little
man, "you got more gumption
than most people I know, and I'm here to declare a truce.
What do
you say to that?"
Malish whinnied, and the gnarly
little man tossed him a
couple of sugar cubes, and that was the last Malish ever
did see
of him.
He lost his next eleven races,
and then they retired him, and
the California crowd fell in love with Seabiscuit, and
that was
that.
Except that here and there,
now and then, you can still find
a couple of railbirds from the old days who will tell
you about
old Malish, the horse who ran like Satan himself was
chasing him
down the homestretch.
That's the story. There really
was a Malicious, and he used
to take off on the far turn like nobody's business, and
it's all
pretty much the truth, except for the parts that aren't,
and
they're pretty minor parts at that.
Like I said, you can look it
up.
-- The End --