Copyright © 2004 by David Sedaris

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review.

Author’s note: The events described in these stories are real. Certain characters have fictitious names and identifying characteristics.

Acknowledgment is made to the following, in which the stories in this collection were originally published, some differently titled or in slightly different form: Esquire: “Repeat After Me,” “Consider the Stars,” “Rooster at the Hitchin’ Post,” “Six to Eight Black Men,” “The End of the Affair,” and “Full House”; G.Q.: “Slumus Lordicus,” “The Change in Me,” “Put a Lid on It,” “Monie Changes Everything,”and “Baby Einstein”; and The New Yorker: “The Girl Next Door,” “The Ship Shape,” “Who’s the Chef?,” “Us and Them,” “Let It Snow,” “Nuit of the Living Dead,” “Possession,” and “Blood Work.” “A Can of Worms” and “Hejira” were originally broadcast on “This American Life.”

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ISBN: 0-7595-1120-9

First eBook Edition: June 2004