"YOU HAVE BETRAYED us all, and everything that we believe in!"
Even though he had been more than half expecting this accusation, Tork winced at the words that Harl spat out. There was a pain in his thorax as he faced his oldest and once-dearest friend. "Harl, it is not like that. Believe me, I have no intention—"
"It does not matter what you mean now," Harl retorted, his anger and disappointment clear on his face. "They have sucked you in. In a short while, you will be just like them. And I thought you believed in what we talked about." He gave a snort of disgust. "I should have known better."
"Harl—enough." As always, Sahna's voice was quiet and yet piercing. Despite his mood, Harl subsided. When Sahna wanted something, she inevitably got her way, and without undue effort. "You are not being fair to Tork, and in your hearts you must know this. You have not given him a chance to explain." Her lips twitched mischievously. "And isn't that your main complaint against the Hivemasters? That they will not listen?" She gestured toward Tork. "Now, here is an apprentice Hivemaster, and you will not allow him to speak. Is that fair?"
"He's not an apprentice Hivemaster," Harl replied sulkily, but somewhat chastened. "He's our ex-friend who's gone over to the side of the enemy."
"Please," begged Tork. "Listen to me. Harl, I have not betrayed you. You know very well that my Determination was what led me to become a Hivemaster. I did not seek the position; it was thrust upon me."
"Of course it was," sneered Harl, his nostrils dilating rapidly, showing his disgust. "But why? Was it because such elevated positions are hereditary in your Lineage?" He snorted again. "Or because the other Hivemasters are trying to buy your silence by offering you the post? And expecting you to silence the rest of the student critics as payment? Have they asked that of you yet? Or are they waiting until you discover that you can no longer live without all the privileges of the exalted position of Hivemaster?"
Tork knew that it was mostly Harl's anger speaking, but he couldn't help being hurt and irritated by his old friend. "Harl," he said, trying to stay reasonable. "You know me. You know my commitment to the truth. Surely you must see that I am not going to abandon all that I believe in simply because I have been appointed a Hivemaster?"
"All I see," Harl snapped back, "is that badge on your carapace." He gestured at the symbol of the Hive that Tork now wore. "The badge that we all agreed stands for repression of thought and maintenance of the status quo. How could you?"
Tork's patience was wearing thin now. "Because I believe that there are some Hivemasters who are not against us," he replied. "Because I think that it is not the office that is wrong, but some who I hold the position. Because I think that working from within I can effect changes. Because if the public sees even just one Hivemaster who will listen instead of simply giving orders, then change is possible. Because I think that in this thing, I am right and you are being a thick-skulled idiot!"
Harl stabbed out one long, bony finger, quivering with anger. "Perhaps—just perhaps—you believe that now," he snarled. "But it will not last. Remember your precious texts: Power is its own reward—and curse." He grimaced. "Or have you already forgotten all of your studies?"
"I have forgotten nothing," Tork answered, striving to keep his temper. "But you, it appears, have forgotten one thing: our friendship."
"Friendship?" Harl deliberately turned his carapace on Tork. "You have already murdered our friendship. The Tork I once thought I knew and respected is dead. All that is left is a Hivemaster." He spat the last word, and then stormed from the meeting room. The door hissed shut behind him.
Sahna placed a hand on Tork's shoulder. "Well," she said gently, "that went better than I expected it to."
His hearts lifted slightly at her touch, as they always did. But it could not erase the pain he felt. "He would not listen," Tork said bitterly. "He did not try and understand."
Laughing, Sahna shook her head. "Harl? Tork, now who is having unreasonable expectations? You know what he is like. Anger consumes him too often." She shook her shapely head. "But it will not last. The flame that burns brightest, dies fastest," she quoted. "His anger will be gone shortly, and he will begin to think again."
"I hope so." Tork gave a long sigh. "I know it was foolish of me to expect otherwise, but I had hoped—"
"Yes," Sahna said gently. "And that is where you are so different from Harl. You hope. You work hard, and strive for reason and change. Harl simply wants to sweep away the old and bring in the new. And this is not possible. Your way is the better way."
It warmed his thorax to hear her speak so well of him. "Then you approve of my acceptance?" he asked eagerly.
Sahna smiled at him. "I have always approved of you, Tork," she replied. "You are a calm, reasoning, and caring individual." She touched his carapace again, and Tork felt a thrill of mingled love and lust pass through him. "And you are my hope."
It took a great deal of self-control for Tork to quash the burning feelings within him. Though he had undergone his Determination, and was now officially an adult, Sahna had not. If he made his feelings for her known, it would not only be immoral but illegal. Perhaps as a Hivemaster, Tork would be immune to such charges as immorality, but he simply could not chance it. It wasn't just the fear of being caught—he knew that Sahna would say nothing even if he were to make unwelcomed and illicit advances to her—but that he could not use his office as a shield for his crimes. After all, wasn't that one of the things that had always most disgusted him about the Hivemasters? One rule for the Hive, and one for the Masters?
He had to be better than that. Not only for the sake of his own soul, but also as an example to everyone. Especially Sahna.
She looked at him with her wise eyes, and he was pierced by an arrow of certainty. She knew what he had been thinking.
"I am sorry, Tork," she told him, removing her hand. "I should not have done that. It was wrong of me to test you in that way."
"You—" he started to say, to tell her she had done nothing wrong. She didn't allow him to finish.
"I was deliberately tempting you," she said, smiling slightly. "I should have known that you would not succumb."
"I … wanted to," he replied. As an adult, he was morally bound never to approach a single female child. Despite the fact that she was from the same Hatching Year as himself, Sahna had not undergone Determination herself, and was thus still technically a child.
"But you did not," she said fondly. "Whatever Harl thinks, you have proven that your sense of honor remains untouched. And a as a child," she added ironically, "I am allowed to say what you cannot at present. I love you, Tork, and want to be One with you." She held up a hand. "Do not say anything—yet."
Tork understood once again how much wisdom she possessed. Sahna always knew exactly how far to go. She had effectively promised herself to him, without compromising his morals. With her love and his new position, he had almost everything he had ever desired from life. "Do you have any idea when your Determination will be?" he asked her. Of course, it was supposed to be a surprise—his certainly had been—but there were always ways that the news could get around.
"Within the next few cycles," she replied. "And I also suspect what the outcome will be." Seeing his amazement, she laughed. "Do not be so naive, Tork. Some Determinations are quite obvious. Most, in fact."
"Mine was not," he answered.
"Perhaps." Sahna's lips twitched again. "But it is not exactly unexpected. I believe you will make an exemplary Hivemaster. Perhaps the first such in several centuries."
Her support and love made his thorax warm again. Tork fought down his emotions, striving to be what she expected of him. "And what do you believe your Determination will make you?" he asked.
"An astronomer."
If she had told him that she was expecting to become a sex provider, she couldn't have shocked him more. "An … astronomer?" he gasped weakly. "You can't be serious?"
"Why not?" Sahna cocked her head to one side and regarded him evenly. "It's an unpleasant job, agreed, but a necessary one. Especially now."
"But … you …" Tork struggled weakly with his prejudices. "Sahna, how could you?"
"It is because I can that I expect to become one," Sahna answered. "If this disgusts and repels you, I am truly sorry." She smiled ruefully. "That is one reason, beyond the impropriety, that I did not wish you to declare your love for me. If you no longer wish to associate with me, I will understand. It might be poor for your public image."
"My image be damned," he snapped back, still struggling to accept the idea. "And my feelings for you have not changed."
"Of course they have," Sahna said simply. "I understand."
"Well, I do not," Tork told her, bluntly and with candor. "I do not understand how you could wish to be an … astronomer." He almost choked on the word. "But …" He took a deep breath. "If that is what you wish to be, then I will do all I can to support your decision. I may not understand it, but I do not care about that. I will try to understand." He drew on every ounce of courage he had and tried to reinforce his hearts. "Show me."
Sahna stared at him in something like alarm. "Tork, there is no need—"
"There is a need," he said, almost roughly. "If this is to be your chosen pathway, then I will be forced to share it with you. I must understand it. Show me."
She bowed her head slightly. "It is not wise," she replied.
"Love is not always wise," he told her.
"So be it." Sahna raised her head, and he could see the love in her eyes. Ah, if not for the boundary that separated them, what passions they could share this night! "Very well," she agreed. "Come with me."
She led him through the web of the student quarter. Tork followed, trying to steel himself for the ordeal that was ahead. He was scared; there was no point in denying that, either to himself or to Sahna. But he had to do this, for both of their sakes. They left the more traveled byways, and Tork knew they were coming close to the wall of the Hive.
Their destination was an almost empty room. The walls, as always, were metal, but these had no decorations or furniture. The only thing in the room with them was a small control panel. As she locked the door behind them to prevent accidental intrusion of the unprepared, Sahna turned to Tork.
"I love you," she told him. "You do not need to do this for me. I will understand and respect you without this."
"I know that you will," he agreed. "But I do this for us. And I will not respect myself if I do not share it with you."
Sahna sighed and bowed her head in acceptance. "Very well," she agreed. She crossed to the control panel, her hands hovering uncertainly above it. "Try hard to endure this, my love."
He didn't dare speak. Instead, he simply gave a single, curt nod. Her fingers danced over the controls.
The wall in front of them both began to iris open. Panels slid back into their recesses with a hiss. As they moved, the lights within the room died down.
And the stars became visible.
Thousands, perhaps millions, of stars, littered across the whole vast space in front of Tork. Stars that burned with beautiful, entrancing intensity. Stars that went on without end, to the openness of space.
Tork felt the vast emptiness beyond the fragile, transparent shielding reaching out from the stars and into the core of his being. The openness pierced his soul.
The immensity of it all overwhelmed him. Striving to escape the vast nothingness, he shrieked, then curled reflexively into a fetal ball, his carapace sealing off the universe without and sealing him safely within his own being.
And still he kept on screaming at the nothingness beyond the vast metal womb of the Hive.