Between Light and Dark by Michael Sweeney
I saw it the first time when I was driving. It was my brothers car, and I was driving too fast.
I was coming back from a meeting with my editor. It had taken longer than I had thought it would and it was very late by the time I was heading back. The long day combined with a dull throbbing to blur the highway ahead of me.
I'd rolled down my window and the chill of the autumn air had revived me slightly. However, it wasn't long before even that wasn't helping. I was just contemplating pulling over and passing out when I saw it. A dark spot between the head lights.
I reacted instantly. Turning hard to the right, I heard a bone crunching thud, the smashing of steel, and a primal yelp. The car continued forward, despite my urgent pressure on the brakes. Gravel flew up from the sideway. The brakes caught suddenly, throwing me forward. My seat belt stopped my momentum and knocked the wind out of me.
I sat in shocked. A sharp spasm came from my left hand. I looked down to see that my finger was pointing in the wrong direction. Horror took hold of my brain just as the pain hit. For a few seconds it was almost unbearable. Slowly, the pain ebbed away to the bearable.
I gently reached down and undid the seat belt. It zipped into its holder above my shoulder and hit my broken finger. I screamed with the pain. Again, very slowly I reached over and opened my door. The dome light came on.
Pulling my injury up to my chest, I turned in the seat to look behind and outside the car. Whatever it was I had hit was not in sight.
My brother always carried all kind of emergency equipment. He was funny that way. Carrying around all these survival things that he'd never use, considering he lives in the suburbs. I thought about all the jokes I'd made about it as I reached in the glove compartment and pulled out a flashlight.
Holding the flashlight in the crook of my left arm, I grabbed hold of the door frame and pulled myself out. A bitter cold blew up from down the highway. I shivered and turned on the flashlight. The cone of light cut through darkness landing on the concrete in front of me. Bare slabs reflected the light back.
Slowly, I scanned the light across the roadway. Empty.
Frowning, I walked around to the front of the car to inspect the damage. Both headlights were fine. The bumper was fine. The turn signals were fine.
Inspecting the car from bumper to bumper revealed no damage anywhere. Not a speck.
Did I imagine the shape I had seen? Had some combination of fatigue and fog caused this to happen?
The car complained when I tried to start it again.
I told the guy in the emergency room what had happened. He laughed and said it was the boogy man. I laughed too. For a while. My finger wasn't broken, just bent out of shape. I got a splint and a stern warning not to put any pressure on it for a couple of weeks.
The second time I was skiing in Colorado. I was walking back to the lodge during twilight when I saw a shape run across my path. I was facing the sun and didn't get a good look.
At first I didn't really think about it or even see connection. It wasn't until that night when I was just falling to sleep when I remembered. I felt strange, I tried to think about what the shadow had looked like, the form it had. But every time I conjured it up it slipped away. It started to bother me. Finally, I laughed at my own paranoia.
Then I remembered the smell. Like that night with the car. A kind of ozone smell, with orange. Just the hint.
I fell asleep and forgot about it.
The third time I was with my girl friend. We were walking home from the movie, through downtown. I was complaining about having to walk, while she chided me for my out of shapeless. Just as we stepped out of the street lamp light and into the shadow, while my eyes were adjusting, I saw it again. It flashed across the street and was gone.
I stopped walking and squinted into the night. The smell drifted into my nostrils. I recognized it.
I was kind of dazed the rest of the night. I told my girl friend about it, from the car and on. She didn't know what to make of it. Stress, she guessed.
I didn't bother guessing.
Four and five happened a week apart. Again when I was driving, only on a different road. Then when I was out jogging while I was at my brothers. Both times there was a glimpse of a shadow and that smell. I was starting to wonder if maybe I was having a nervous breakdown. Some people have breakdowns for no reason. They're not stressed out, they just go crazy.
I told my brother. He said I wasn't have a breakdown, just going blind. He was always reassuring like that.
Six was at a party. I was just introduced to this girl by a friend, and being recently single again, decided to get interested. Midway through the conversation it happened again. But this time I smelled it first.
When I noticed the smell I glanced out the window. Across the street, under a lamppost, flash.
I suddenly didn't feel well and excused myself. I went straight home.
Half a bottle of Jack Daniel's later, I was able to sleep.
Seven...
I was sitting at home reading when I looked up from my book. No shadow. No smell. But I had expected it somehow. A bitter cold wind brushed against my face. I shivered and looked back down at the book. As my eyes focused, I noticed that the print had changed. The type setting was all screwy. Capitals here and there with no form. I turned to the next page, and then to the next. They were all the same.
The pages I had already read were likewise.
I stood and made to throw the book across the room to the other chair. My line of sight connected through to the kitchen window.
Flash.
I stood still for a moment. The smell came. I ran to the bathroom and threw up.
That was yesterday.
Today, I didn't go to work. I had never been a heavy drinker. But today I slowly emptied my small supply. I've been sitting here with a near empty bottle. The last one.
I don't think I could go out for more, but I also don't think I could remain sane without it. That last little bit.
As I sit with my bottle, the smell comes and goes. Sometimes I throw up, sometimes not. I made it to the bathroom the first couple times. Then the bucket, then... Stench. But even with my own bile next to me, I can make out the smell, clearly.
I don't see them, or not see them, but I know they are here. I know.
More than one.
I brought all the lamps and lights in my apartment into the bedroom and have them all plugged in. It's still light outside. It's very bright in here.
My stereo is blaring at high, the speakers are sure to explode. The treble and bass are so distorted. The sound is deafening, I'm sure my neighbors have called the police by now.
Sound doesn't seem to bother them.
I know they're waiting. Waiting for what? For night? There are always more shadows at night.
Does it matter?
Why do they want me? What did I do? What are these things?
The smell again.
Why?!?!
...to replace the one I hit, perhaps...
Flash.