Dolly Parton
by Frank M. Roberts
February 2017
This is one of those 'little-bit-of-everything' columns covering a variety o' stuff - money, for one. To begin with, there is 'Parton' so 'par-ton me (pun intended) while I check a song that turned into a small treasury for a big 'treasure' - uh - chest. (gettin' cruude).
Does the title, "I Will Always Love You" ring a bell? It should, whether you like country or pop. It's been all over the music map. Parton released the song back in 1974 and it zoomed to number one. Well, in '82 she starred in a movie with Burt Reynolds with the - er - title, "The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas." It may have been little, but the proceeds were anything but. The two stars felt a fit. Use of the song was suggested by its writer - Dolly. ("Well, hello, Dolly").
So, it was re-released and, to no one's surprise it once again went to the top of the charts. As you well know by now, the story didn't end there. Once again it was recorded, this time with the ever popular, Vince Gill and, once again it became a big hit. Next, Whitney Houston got in on the act. Wha' happen? The inevitable, the song climbing to numero uno on the pop chart.
The 'smart-as-a-whip' Parton claims to have earned more than $3 million dollars just for composing the musical gem - a decent figure for a girl with a verry decent figure who began life, humbly, in the Tennessee Smoky Mountains. "I Will Always Love You." Sheesh - no wonder.
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The word is heard in the movies, on teevee, in fiction and non-fiction. The word is -- COP. Ever wonder where it came from? It came from the mother country - Britain. It's an abbreviation for - Constable Of Police. Speaking of which 'cop-ing' is oft considered a thankless job. A D. C. officer, named Maura, put it this way: "You risk your life out here for what? You grab some bad guy. The judge slaps him on the wrist. He does no time. In fact, he's back out before I finish my paperwork on the arrest."
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A major argument as I pen this has to do with - is it a wall or is it a fence?? Nothin' new. From Norfolk, VA., near my N. C. hometown, this from WW2. In that city, site of a major naval base, police rounded up and jailed 14 Japanese aliens, arresting them because, "they were suspicious looking Orientals." It was left up to individual officers to decide who was who. Research on Nisei would have been proper. Similar story in Newark.
And, a light item from that era. For seven years prior to 1943, Pvt. Bill Purdy of Ithaca, N. Y. had a girlfriend who lived in Buffalo. Then, Bill was drafted and, while taking his basic training at Camp Croft in S. C. the young lady wrote to him several times a week declaring her undying love and sending cookies baked especially for him.
Then, a second Bill Purdy was assigned to the same outfit. The second Bill Purdy began to receive the first Bill Purdy's letters and cookies from the Buffalo gal. Finally, Purdy numero two wrote to her to explain the mixup. Their correspondence grew into a pen-pal relationship. Well, months later the first Bill P. visited Buffalo on furlough and learned that his long-time girlfriend had married the second Bill Purdy. 'twas a 'purdy' sad state of affairs with a semi-happy ending. Purdy numero one's complaint was, "what bothered me was that he swiped my cookies." (Did he have a 'chocolate' chip on his shoulder?)
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Also from that era and on the more serious side - Hitler and Nazi Germany played a major role in the eventual development of the ultimate weapon by the United States. Albert Einstein was forced to leave his mother country. In the U. S. he warned President Roosevelt about the danger of Germany's nuclear research. Hitler would have had time to develop the a-bomb for his arsenal. The conclusion? Stupidity and hatred go hand-in-hand.
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Sci-fi fact: How many nuclear scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Nine. One to screw it in and eight to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 20,000 years.
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Fellow very senior citizen movie fans, try this for size: In the '30s the telephone was often referred to as, 'The Ameche' honoring Don Ameche, the actor who portrayed the inventor of that now historic instrument. On screen, he was a romantic smoothie but, in real life - well, just about the same but he was not a headline-making gossip column subject. His one and only wife was childhood sweetheart, Honore Prendergast. Look at the names of the kids: Donnie, Ronnie, Tommie, Lonnie, Bonnie, Connie. (The latter was known for lying over the ocean). His lookalike-soundalike brother, Jim, made some minor recordings for Decca Records.
And, old time movie buffs, consider this: Larry 'Buster' Crabbe, was once an Olympic swimming champ. He was a 400-meter gold medalist in 1932, a record holder, de-luxe. He was the only actor to portray Tarzan ("Tarzan the Fearless"), plus Billy the Kid, and Buck Rogers. (Lotsa 'bucks). Son, Cuffy, co-starred with him on the tube. The most famous Tarz, of course, was also an Olympic swim champ - Johnny Weismuller.
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Who figgered this out? "It only takes four minutes to decide whether you like someone or not." COUNTDOWN.
Before there was President Trump there was a Colorado town with that name and, an Antarctic island. A couple of 'br-r-rs.' Speaking of wealthy Repub millionaires - this sort-of figgers: Pres. Herbert Hoover, of the hot water depression days, had this to say: "If a man who has not made a million dollars by the time he is forty, he is not worth much." That should warm the cockles of your heart. (What the heck is a cockle?)
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Having reached - gad - 88 - I am ready to shin kick the next character that tells me something like, "at least you're still here." Aches and pains galore, not withstanding, that does not make me a happy camper. The not-so-secret word is 'pain' and, if you think that thrills me, I'll be glad to share. My head ain't together - same with my body. Other stuff -- I don't remember being absent-minded. I had a great life, but too many details have flitted. If all is not lost, where is it?
It's not hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something, then wonder what I'm here after and, finally, most appropriate: "All reports are in; life is now officially unfair." Ending on a bummer note.