Western Notes

by Frank M. Roberts

January 2017

Every now and then, I get into a 'cowboy-western' mood and try to find out a few things about the screen heroes of yesteryear - yesteryear at my age being in the 70-80-plus era. Do you fit in there? If so, you know the name of Will Rogers - cowboy, philosopher, author - a very wise man.

One of his last public appearances was scheduled for Alaska where he, and close friend, Wiley Post, were scheduled for his last public appearance. Turned out that appearance was The Gates of Heaven. On Aug. 15, 1935 the pair were killed in a plane crash near the town of Point Barrow.

Many moons later, while serving with the Signal Corps, I was sent up to Nome (loved it there), and my commanding office was a really nice guy - Lt. Morgan. His son was the first white baby to be born there - so he was given the name of Barrow Morgan. Father and son have both passed on.

As has, George 'Gabby' Hayes, not only Roy Rogers grizzled sidekick but, also a very close friend of the cowboy star. Frequently, they 'guested' - visits which included Mrs. Hayes, partners in a beautiful marriage - long after their on-screen partnership faded from view.

Of course, there was the 'cowboy' equine partnership. For instance -- Hopalong Cassidy had Topper, Tom Mix had Tony, Gene Autry rode Champion, Ken Maynard relied on Tarzan, yet. Ole Tarz was billed as 'The Wonder Horse.' Rogers? As if you didn't know -- Trigger. He was usually billed as, 'The Smartest Horse In the Movies." Remember? Believe it or not - and you can believe it - 'said' smartest horse received as many as 200 pieces of fan mail a week. (Many from 'neigh'bors?). Oh, and the animal was insured for $100,000 - a blow to folks who felt their lives weren't worth a nickel.

Just as important as the horse flesh was the 'human' flesh known in the trade as the stuntman. He was the guy that did all those wild tricks that made the leading men look so good. Most importantly, was Yakima Canutt who performed a stunt which would be copied by western filmmakers for years to come, i.e. letting a wagon pass over 'el star' grabbing the back of it, and hoisting himself in. Zowie!

The fairer or, cowgirl star abounded but, of course, none fairer or 'famous-er' than Dale Evans who began in the pop music field as a singer and dancer and, an obedient child. Her mom gave her this piece of sage (brush) advice: "Don't let anybody kiss you on the screen, and don't show your legs." (Leave that to Grable).

Rogers and Evans were quite a pair and, these days, would probably be laughed off screens large and small. As one writer put it, "they were part of the American way - two proud strong people afraid neither of waving the flag nor publicly admitting their love of God. And, for the love of God where would that take them today? In 'those' days their club membership topped more than 5 million.

Life Magazine asked kids who they would most like to resemble. Answers included President Franklin D. Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln and, yes, Roy Rogers

* * * *

If you're 'cowboyed' and/or 'cowgirled' out - a look at some - er -homilies. I was backstage once when George Jones and Conway Twitty were discussing cancer sticks. It was a 'no-no' from Jones; Tammy Wynette had several 'gay' friends and, 'tis said that her hit, "Stand By Your Man," was used as their anthem; To celebrate 'happy un-birthday'. See how that works out; Revive the art of conversation. Oh, skip it; Give yourself the day off; Well, because you can; Give someone a compliment. (I accept).

From the bad joke department --- no --- from the very bad joke department: "What's purple and 5,000 miles long?" The Grape Wall of China." Can't say you weren't warned; Definition of capital punishment - The government sets up business in competition with you and then takes all your profits with taxes to make up its loss.

* * * *

Oh, now, let's get down to serious business. To begin with, these are true stories - truetruetrue. Again -- TRUE. F'r instance trials of animals survived in Europe into the 20th century. In Switzerland, in 1906, two brothers and their dog were tried for murder. The men were sentenced to life imprisonment. 'Fido' was condemned to death. The 'crime' is uncertain but, as recently as 1974 in the advanced 'state' of Libya a dog was tried 'cause he bit a human being. (pit bull?) It was sentenced to a month's imprisonment on a diet of bread and water. Well, the pooch served its sentence - it was released. Justice was done. Purina was absolved. Earlier, Bill Shakespeare wrote, "what fools these mortals be." He was a 'seer'.

In this day and age, figures concerning the demise of the world's population are frightening but, in 'that' day and age they actually were devastating. One of the worst? In A. D. 542 a plague spread from Egypt along the great trade routes, travelling through Asia Minor to Constantinople, Greece, Italy and into the Rhine area. The disease raged for 52 years. A 100 million people are estimaated to have died. And, no, you probably won't find that in your history book.

* * * *

Let's close with this thought: Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites??