A.S.P.C.A.

by Frank M. Roberts

November 2016

Remember that cute little novelty song that was a big hit many moons ago? It was the Patti Page pooch piece about the "Doggie In the Window," - 'the one with the waggly tail.' And, there's the line - "I do hope that doggie's for sale."

Hope -- NOT, and here's why. The American Society For the Prevention Of Cruelty to Animals is engaged in all-out war against purchasing animals from pet shops, off the Internet, from print ads, at swap meets, or flea markets. Like it, or not, according to the ASPCA "99 per cent of puppies in pet stores come from puppy mills where dogs are often kept in cages with wire flooring which injures their paws and legs. Often, those cages are stacked in columns."

Puppy mills focus on profit and the dogs are often bred with little regard for genetic quality. The ASPCA notes that the puppy mills pups "are prone to congenital and hereditary conditions including heart disease, blood and respiratory disorders. In addition, puppy mill puppies often arrive in pet stores and in their new homes with diseases or infirmities ranging from parasites to pneumonia - often suffering from fear, anxiety and other behavior problems."

It's impossible to accurately track them or to know how many there truly are, but the ASPCA estimates that there could be as many as 10,000 puppy mills in the United States. The worst states, according to the organization, are Missouri and Illinois. In most states these commercial breeding kennels can - disgusting thought - legally keep hundreds of dogs in cages their entire lives, for the sole purpose of continuously churning out puppies. The object - profit, certainly not love or consideration for the animals who range from purebreds to any number of mixed breeds.

Incidentally, cat breeding occurs under similar conditions to supply pet stores with kittens. One bright, possibly strange note, comes from America's gambling capital. Las Vegas bans the sale of animals from puppy mills. They don't gamble with the lives of dogs or cats.

We know that puppy mills confine animals indefinitely. Add to that, the animals are bred every heat cycle and, they are, of course, denied veterinary care.

The treatment is inhumane, disgusting - churning out dogs for the pet trade. A worst case scenario was reported by a rescue team from Mississippi, described by one official as, "nothing short of appaling. It was, in a word, a nightmare for the animals."

The report, from Chuck Cook, noted, "when our staff arrived on the scene with the Walthall County Sheriff's Office, they found five dogs sharing cages with the bodies of dead ones. Surviving dogs suffered from terrible injuries, including one dog with a severed leg. Blankets of feces covered the bottoms of the cages, and scattered throughout the property were the skeletal remains of many dogs from whom help arrived too late.

Those that can be helped are being treated by a team of veterinarians from the Humane Society of South Mississppi. Those nursed back to health will be screened for adoption, he said, "so they can enjoy new, better lives."

If you want to find out more about puppy mills, Netflix offers ASPCA documentaries, some of which will be hard to watch. One is called, "A Humane Nation."

The ASPCA, local shelters, and veterinarians can easily help you find a pet. Those are the reliable sources which, hopefully, will help put puppy mills out of business. The s.o.b.'s who profit from animals mistreatment can look elsewhere for ill-gained profits.

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Henry Hanes and Jethro Burns, best known as Homer and Jethro, recorded a parody of the 'dog-window' song, called "How Much Is That Hound Dog In the Window?" Clever stuff from those thinking man's hillbillies.

Personal pet department. My first dog was a Boston Bull, Mitzi. The dog I had the longest in my growin' up years was a beaut - a mix of a Spitz and wire-haired terrier - Tootsie. I also had a trio of salamanders which, for reasons long forgotten, I called Sally, Joe, and Butch.

When I was about a year old, my mother bought me a canary. (For whatever reason, those yellow pets were often named Dickie). He lived beyond his years - died when I was 15. When I came home that day and saw the bird on his back, I lost it.

After I wed, my wife and I raised the most beautiful, friendliest and sweetest dogs on Planet Earth -- Irish Setters. Our first one was a direct descendant of the first group from Ireland. My oldest youngster has seven - count 'em, seven dachschunts, probably the nuttiest pooches. Three are babies and will be given good homes. My other kids have cats - with my daughter, and her husband, enjoying two.

For about 15 years my wife and I have been raising the prettiest cats - Siamese and, we currently have two - twin sisters, Weetsie and Beetsie. W stays with wifey, and B stays with me.

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Animal quiz: What very famous man was the first to supply the voice of Mickey Mouse? Yep, Disney himself...Who are Slats, Jackie, Telly, Coffee, Tanner, George - and the give-away name -- Leo. They were of course, the Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer lions. Slats was the first. He began growling in 1924. (Quietly). Leo, of course, was the last, first growling in 1957 and still at it. (Gee, a 'hoarse' lion).

One more thing - Slats was imported from Dublin. (The Irish originally forwarded two - er - lions. See, MGM asked for Dublin - oh - forget it). Leo came from the Netherlands. Speaking of those 'roarers' there is the story of a lion complaining to another animal: "I must be going crazy. Every time I roar, I have to sit thru a movie."

When I began making movies, I used Marvin the Mongoose. (Legit, 'cause Marvin is my middle name). It was to be my bio. In the opening scene I was surrounded by a bull and a lion. I shot the lion first. Why? I could always shoot the bull. (Oh, you've been reading my stuff).