[A sannyasin says: I've been feeling so good in the past few weeks that I can hardly believe it.
But I feel blocked - and that I block other people and myself I have been taking drugs for so long that everything seems to have gone dead.]
Mm, drugs can kill very very deeply. They can make many things dead. Any stimulation from the outside is in the long run very dangerous. In the beginning it seems to be very beautiful, but anything that excites your nervous system through chemistry, by and by deadens it also.
But it will be okay; don't be worried. It will be helpful if you are in relationship with someone. Love will be good and you will be more flowing.
Love is the best natural drug.
And the beauty of it is that it never makes you dead and dull. It has an inner harmony. It is a drug...
it is one of the strongest chemicals, but it is in-built. You don't take it from the outside. It is created inside your lab.
So it will be good to move into a relationship and to continue meditating. Everything will be okay.
[The aum marathon group is present. The group leader says: Last time you told me to frustrate myself otherwise the technique wouldn't work. I think I frustrated myself for forty-eight hours!]
Mm mm, I understand. The first thing to be understood is that love is not a phenomenon that can be created. It can happen but you cannot create it. And the more you try to create it, the more elusive it will be because no direct approach to love is possible. It does not allow anybody to manipulate it. It is so subtle. It is not like a block of wood or a rock that you can manipulate. It is very subtle, invisible.
So once you try to manipulate that invisible energy, you will be in trouble. And because of your effort to manipulate it, you will miss it. It comes, but it comes always from the indirect path.
You do something, and in a certain attunement it comes in. All that is beautiful in life is like that.
[Osho said that a friend can invite you to go swimming and tell you what a tremendous experience it is. You can go with many expectations but be so full of those and so greedy for this tremendous thing that is going to happen to you, that you are too preoccupied - and you miss it.]
Happiness is not a thing that you can make happen, and that you can hold in your hand. It happens only when you have abandoned yourself in some activity completely. When the activity takes posses- sion of you, when you are completely oblivious that you are, suddenly it is there. In all its beauty, in all its truth, in all its penetration, it is there... every fibre of your being vibrating with it. But it comes only when you are not.
Love will happen in a group when the group is completely in tune. And that tune can happen only when you are doing something else; not thinking about love at all. Something else possesses you; you are so engrossed. Suddenly you will see a grace descending. That roundness for which you were waiting will happen. But it is a happening. Nobody has ever been able to manipulate it.
So don't do anything. In fact don't move with a certain expectation. Move with hope. Move with prayer. Move with trust. But never move with any expectations. Then much will happen.
If you move with expectations, you will be the barrier; the leader becomes the barrier. The leader is significant because he functions as a nucleus to the whole group. If you are frustrated then the whole group will be falling apart because the centre is missing. The whole group functions as spokes. You are the hub and the whole wheel moves around you.
If the leader is frustrated, he will stop all movement; he will be the cause. So it was not that you didn't make enough effort. It was because you tried to do something about love which cannot be done, which is impossible.
So never do anything about love, nor happiness, nor bliss. Simply move with the hope and prayer that something will happen. Nobody knows what because each group is going to be different, because different people will bring different energy. They will pool different energies into it, so nobody knows the ultimate outcome and nobody can expect anything. There is no need to. Move into the unknown, the unfamiliar. Let things happen, and let them take their own shape.
You are there just to facilitate the process. Whatsoever is going to happen, you are to smooth the path for it - whatsoever happens; that is not your concern. If anger is happening, you have to make the path smooth so that anger comes to a perfect peak. Then it is beautiful. If love is happening you have to help it to move. If harmony is happening, good. If discord is happening, you have to create the path for that too. You should not have any choice, otherwise that will become a barrier.
If you are thinking that love should happen and there is anger, in a subtle way you will stop that anger. You will say 'I am waiting for love and anger is happening'. Unknowingly you will not allow the anger to happen. And if anger cannot happen, that person will not be able to move into love. So let anger happen.
Whatsoever happens is good. This should be the basic dictum.
And you are a facilitator. You are to help people to cathart. You are to help people to go deeper in their moment, into their facticity in that moment, whatsoever it is - anger, hatred, love, jealousy, envy, happiness. But never expect anything and don't carry a hidden desire, otherwise that desire is going to create much trouble.
This is how we have destroyed the whole humanity. It is nothing new; it has been the case forever.
Parents are helping to bring something to the children and they have imprisoned them. Husbands are hoping something will happen for their wives - love, happiness. The wife is hoping that the husband will become more graceful; more beautiful, more powerful, good, religious.
Everybody is trying to manipulate everybody else with a very good ambition. All are well-wishers...
and all these well-wishers are destructive. They help - they think they help - but they only hinder.
The path to hell is filled with good wishers.
So remember not to move with a desire. Who are you? Why should you have any desires? If love is going to happen, we will enjoy it. If it is not going to happen, we will enjoy that too. It is just as when the wind is blowing and you enjoy it. When it is not blowing, what can you do? You wait.
So remember it, mm? You will grow with each group. The leader is not a fixed entity; he goes on growing with each group. He grows as much as the participant.
[A group member says: I don't know how to explain it but something very special happened. I felt in the Dynamic meditation something that wasn't coming from in me but from another space. But it was just a flash.]
Very good. These moments will be coming more and more. These are the real moments of meditation. They don't belong to you. They come only when you are not. They are a gap in your being, so they are more like nothingness, emptiness. It is just as if an emptiness is passing through you. Just for a moment, suddenly you are washed away. You are not there. Then again you are there. It is only for a fragment of a moment, but that is the glimpse; what Buddha calls 'anatta', the glimpse of no-being. That is your real being.
Man is not a thing. A thing has substance in it and man is not substantial. If you penetrate deep into a man you will not find anything. That's why scientists go on searching and they don't find any soul. The soul is not a thing. It is a space. If we cut somebody we cannot find the space because the space cannot be grabbed.
That space has passed through you just for a single moment. It will be coming more and more.
One thing to remember: don't ask for it. You were not asking for it when it came ....
It comes naturally. One starts waiting and that becomes the barrier because when it happened for the first time you were not asking, you were not expecting; you were not even aware. But now the problem will be there, so don't get attached to it.
It was good - thank God and be finished with it. Forget all about it and meditate again. There is no need to think about it, not even to remember it. Don't make it a memory, don't make it a greed, otherwise that will become the barrier.
Many people miss. For the first time meditation happens to many people but then the mind comes in and starts planning saying, 'Now I will meditate and it is going to happen. This time I will hold it a little longer and enjoy it a little more.' Then you are finished!
So just remember that. It has been very good.
[A sannyasin says: I feel very positive and I feel a lot happening from working in the groups.
And I feel that people seem to like me. They come up and say 'I really like you ' and that feels really good inside.]
Very good. When one feels good inside, one is liked by many people, very easily. And when you feel good inside you also like people very easily. When one is in a well-being, one wants to bless everybody because whatsoever you see is coloured by your state of mind. When you are happy, you go on throwing happiness all around. A subtle energy surrounds you, and whomsoever comes in contact with you will also start smiling and feeling happy.
Happy people create a certain milieu. Even sad people will come in their milieu and feel happy. They will even forget for a few moments that they are unhappy. So enjoy it, and just don't hold it - express it. When you feel good about somebody, tell him. Just hold his hand, look into his eyes and say that you feel very very blessed that he is also here; just his presence gives you happiness. Express your happiness and you will find it growing.
[Osho said that ordinary we talk about our sadness and that makes it more sad. If people talked about their happy moments, the world would be happy.]
This positivity has to be used.... It is simply unbelievable how people miss it. Somehow their eyes are clouded because they have a fixed attitude of seeing things.
The world is really psychedelic.... And I have not come across an ugly person yet. Every person is a unique expression of the divinity. Every person carries the signature of God. Every person is a work of craftmanship. Nothing is ugly unless you don't know how to see beauty. If you tackle things from the wrong end, things turn sour and life becomes bitter.
So use these moments because they are rare. If you can use them more they will be coming more.
Share them. The more you share them, the more you will have. And always remember this law of spiritual life - that the more you share, the more you have. Or let me say it in this way: whatsoever you give to others, you will have, and that which you hold within yourself will die.
Share it before it dies. Let it pass from one hand to another. Whatsoever you give you will become the possessor of. Suddenly you will see that more is arising. So never be miserly in expression, in sharing, in communicating. So very good... feel thankful.
[[A group member says: I feel much joy in the group. I felt that the group was both very important for me and yet not important at all. And speaking to you feels very important and also unimportant too.
I can't explain it. It seems contradictory.]
No, there is no contradiction in it. Anything that is extremely important is bound to not be important at all. A thing which is really important is also not important at the same time. Only mediocre things which are not really important, which are important only up to a certain extent, don't have this ambiguity.
For example, a house has a price; You can purchase it, you can sell it, but God has no price. It is extremely valuable and valueless. Love has no price. It is tremendously valuable but what is the value of it? Nothing. On the one hand it costs nothing, on the other hand, your whole life has to be put at stake. So all that is really beautiful and valuable, is at the same time always not valuable, not important at all.
So don't create a contradiction. It is really a beautiful state. There is no division in it. It is not that you are divided into two; no - that's how it is. And always remember it. It works from both the ends.
Whenever you come to encounter something which is tremendously valuable, suddenly you will see that there is no value in it. It is so simple, it is so costless.
And remember, when you come across things which are valueless, costless, try to look into them also. You will find something hidden in them which is tremendously valuable. Between these two apparently contradictory polarities is the world of the mediocre things where there are value labels and you can decode which is valuable and which is not. But those are just mediocre, man-made values.
A car is valuable, a house is valuable, but these are man-made things. A flower is valueless and is the ultimate value also. Remember it - it is a good insight. Penetrate into it. Let it become more transparent.
You have been looking at it through the reason, that's why you are a little puzzled. But there is another side. Just look at things. Look at the stars in the night....
But this is a way of looking at things which is beyond reason. You stand at the back of everything and from there you look as a witness. Then you can see that all that is valuable is valueless also.
Because it cannot be purchased, it cannot be sold either. It cannot be a commodity; it does not belong to the market-place.
Facing me, looking at me, is tremendously valuable. At the same time it has no value. It is tremendously important because between you and me something can transpire... something that can lead you to the ultimate.
But even if it leads you to the ultimate, what is the value of it? You will laugh - because it is not something given to you. It is something that you had always with you. At the most it may be a recognition, a remembrance, but nothing has been given to you.
I can give you all and I cannot give you anything. And both are true together because the all that I can give you is already with you.
Hence if I give it to you, I'm not giving anything. But both these things are true together. This is why religion is illogical. If you ask the logician, he will say this is nonsense; either a thing is valuable or it is not. His ways are clearcut. But if you ask a mystic he will say that both things are true together.
And the mystic has eyes; the logician is simply blind. He has looked into man-made things for too long. He has forgotten the language of nature. Go deeper into it.
[A sannyasin says: I'm still playing the same old games of trying to get people to love me... I've been here for a year and have not been into any relationship up to now.]
Move into some relationship, because there are a few things that can be done only by experiencing them. Love is one of them. There is no way to learn it; you have to do it. And by trial and error one learns.
It is like swimming. You have to start first in the shallow and then you become capable of moving towards some depth. Love cannot be prepared for. There is no way to learn it. Everybody has to go into it without any learning, unprepared. So move into a love relationship.
Many problems will arise. We can solve them by and by because each problem is a growth. If the problem overpowers you and you cannot solve it, then it becomes a block. If you can solve it, it is a beautiful opportunity to go beyond it. Once you go beyond it, you have learned something of love. Each problem is an opportunity to learn what love is. You have been avoiding it. When one avoids it, one starts thinking about it too much. Then one starts manipulating because one thinks that something has to be done by the mind. One starts playing gimmicks. But that is not going to help.
Life is not a rehearsal. It is a drama without rehearsal.
So move into a love relationship; with whomsoever, that is not the point. And there is no need for the relationship to be permanent. Right now it has just to bring all the problems up to the surface so that all your problems are in front of you. Then we can solve them. Right now it is difficult to even find out what your problem is.
So that is the first thing, and that is possible only in a relationship. So move into a relationship and love with no fear. The whole point is not to find a permanent relationship, the point is to find ways and means to learn what love is. One learns by many trials and errors. Many times one goes astray, suffers pain. You have been too clever.
Clever people have a few problems. The basic problem is that whatsoever cannot be done by the mind, they try to do by the mind. They think by some intelligence they will find a way. It has nothing to do with intelligence. One has to be a fool to be in love, so be a fool! And be a little mad... drop your cleverness.
One day you will be intelligent but that intelligence comes through encountering problems. This intelligence is just a sort of cowardice. One protects oneself and never goes beyond the limit. One always tries to manipulate people because manipulating people can give you a certain false feeling of love.
For example, if you can force somebody to do something, you will feel a sort of power. Love also has that power but without being aware of it at all. It is not that lovers force each other to do things.
They simply do things because they love each other. You understand?
You can try to force the other to do certain things because you have seen lovers do those things. For example two people who love each other, hug. Now you can manipulate a person to hug you, but that doesn't mean that there is love. In love hugging happens, but in hugging there is no necessity for love to happen. You can manage the act but the inner feeling will be missing.
So just go in headlong like a fool. And sometimes angels miss what fools attain. And I am here...
just move...
First move with the fears, and whenever new problems arise, bring them to me. I would like to throw you into a whirlwind of problems.
Things will change, don't be worried.