Intelligent people are dangerous

From:
Osho
Date:
Fri, 20 February 1980 00:00:00 GMT
Book Title:
The Dhammapada: The Way of the Buddha, Vol 9
Chapter #:
10
Location:
am in Buddha Hall
Archive Code:
N.A.
Short Title:
N.A.
Audio Available:
N.A.
Video Available:
N.A.
Length:
N.A.

The first question:

Question 1:

BELOVED MASTER,

IT IS LIKE DRIVING A CAR IN FORWARD AND REVERSE AT THE SAME TIME. I
AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE. IS THE IGNITION SWITCHED ON OR AM I JUST A
BAD DRIVER?

Ray Horton, the very idea of going somewhere is basically wrong. Nothing is going anywhere. Existence is now-here; it is not moving towards a particular destiny. There is no destiny, there is no ultimate purpose. But we have been taught for centuries that existence is moving towards a certain goal and we have been also taught to live ambitiously, to prove that you are something, somebody: "Reach somewhere." But existence is absolutely purposeless.

I am not saying that it is not significant. Precisely because it is purposeless it is significant, but its significance is not that of the marketplace. It is a totally different kind of significance: the significance of a roseflower, the significance of a bird on the wing, the significance of poetry, music. It is an end unto itself.

We are not to become something - we are already it. This is the whole message of all the awakened ones: that you are not to achieve something, it has already been given to you. It is God's gift. You are already where you should be, you can't be anywhere else.

There is nowhere to go, nothing to achieve. Because there is nowhere to go and nothing to achieve, you can celebrate. Then there is no hurry, no worry, no anxiety, no anguish, no fear of being a failure. You can't fail. In the very nature of things it is impossible to fail, because there is no question of success at all.

It is just a conditioning by the society that creates the problem in you. And then you start thinking, "I am not reaching anywhere, and life is slipping out of my hands and death is coming closer. Am I going to make it or not?" And then there is great fear of missing, frustration that so much is lost. And who knows? - tomorrow may never arrive. "I have not yet been able to prove myself, my worth. I have not become famous yet. I have not accumulated much wealth. I am not a president of a country or a prime minister."

Or you can start thinking in otherworldly terms, but the process is the same. You can say, "I have not yet become enlightened. I have not yet become a Buddha or a Jesus.

Meditation is far away. I don't know who I am." And you can go on creating a thousand and one problems for yourself.

All these problems are created because the society wants you to be ambitious, and ambition can only be created if there is a goal in the future. For ambition, future is needed. And without ambition, the ego cannot be created. And the ego is the basic strategy of the society to rule over you, to exploit you, to oppress you, to keep you miserable. The ego exists in the tension between the present and the future: the bigger the tension, the bigger the ego. When there is no tension between your present and future, the ego disappears because there is no point where it can have shelter, where it can exist.

Hence society teaches you, "Become this, become that." It teaches you becoming. Its whole education system is based on the idea of becoming.

And what I am telling you here is just the opposite of it. I am talking about BEING, not about becoming. Becoming is an invention of the crafty politicians and the priests - and these are the people who have poisoned the whole humanity. They go on giving you goals. If you become tired of the worldly things - money, power, prestige - they are there to tell you about paradise, God, samadhi, truth. Again the whole process starts.

And it is easy to be frustrated with the worldly things. Sooner or later you can see the whole stupidity of having more money or more power. Sooner or later you are going to see the futility of the very idea of "more," because the more brings nothing else but more misery. It takes away all bliss from you, all peace from you. It is destructive. It gives you only fear, trembling, anxiety, neurosis. It makes you insane; that can be seen very easily.

It has made the whole earth a madhouse.

But to see that the otherworldly goals - nirvana and moksha and God and paradise - are also the same is very difficult. You will need tremendous intelligence to see that those goals are also of the same quality. There is no qualitative change because you are still thinking in terms of becoming, you are still thinking in terms of the future.

Future does not exist, it is nonexistential. It is as nonexistential as the past. The past is no more, the future is not yet; only the present is. And in the present there is no possibility for desiring, no possibility of being ambitious, not space enough for the ego to exist. Whenever you are now and here there is no ego to be found. You are a pure silence. Right now... see what I am saying. I am not propounding a theory or a philosophy; I am simply stating a fact.

Ray Horton, just for a second see... this very moment! Where is the ego? And what heights and what depths of peace suddenly become available to you. They are always within you, but you never look at them - you are running and running. And because you are not arriving anywhere you are very much worried.

You say, "It is like driving a car in forward and reverse at the same time. I am not going anywhere."

There is no need. This very moment, wherever you are, it is a blessing, it is divine.

Where else do you want to go? Why live in the past? It is the past that gives you goals.

It is the past that you are carrying in your head which projects goals in the future.

Future is only a reflection of the past.

From your very childhood you have been told, you have been hypnotized, by the society, by the priests, by the politicians, by your parents, by the pedagogues. You have been hypnotized continuously that you should have a goal in your life, that you should have some purpose, that you should be a great achiever, that you have to be famous - a Nobel Prize winner or something - that you are not to die just an ordinary man. To die just an ordinary man is ugly; you have to die like a president or a prime minister - as if their death has something special!

Because of this constant hammering on your head you have become so much accustomed to the idea that it is driving you crazy. Otherwise, life is so beautiful as it is; no purpose, no goal is needed. Future can be completely dropped. You live in the future just to escape from the present, and you become so psychologically obsessed with the future that you go on missing that which is for that which is not.

Among the first things that a Jewish boy learns is the biblical injunction: "Honor thy father and mother - or else!"

Herschel, aged six, was reminded of the admonition the day his father came home and announced that he had decided to buy a car, the first his family had ever owned.

The father was in high spirits. "Imagine, we are in this country only a few years and soon we will own a new car," he said proudly. "I can just see us riding around in Central Park. In the front I am steering, and sitting next to me is Mamma, and in the back is our little Herschel."

Mamma nodded, smiling her approval. "So, when are you planning to buy the car?" she asked.

"In two weeks, a month maybe - no later."

The pleasant interlude was suddenly shattered by Herschel's mournful cry, "I don't wanna sit in the back! I wanna sit in the front and help steer!"

"Only one steerer we need in this family," the father reminded his son. "In the front sits Mamma, in the back sits you."

"If I have to sit in the back I will bang my head on the wall, you will see!" wailed Herschel. He ran to the wall and assumed a threatening pose, ready to give action to his words. "Mamma is sitting in the back, I am sitting in the front!"

"No, Herschel, you are in the back," said the father sternly.

"In the front, not in the back!" Herschel's voice rose in a sudden screech. "I ain't gonna sit in the back!"

Father, his manner grim, extended his arm and pointed a commanding finger.

"Herschel," he said coldly, "get out of my car!"

People go on living in the future!

And the same is the case with your paradise, just like the car. The same is the case with your nirvana, your enlightenment - the same as with the car.

It is only the mediocre mind that becomes psychologically obsessed with the future. But the society destroys everybody's intelligence and makes everybody mediocre. The society does not want you to be really intelligent; it is afraid of intelligence. Intelligent people are dangerous people. They are radicals, they are revolutionaries; they are always sabotaging the status quo. The society wants you to remain mediocre, stupid. It wants you certainly to be efficient, mechanically. It wants you to accumulate as much information as possible, but it does not want you to be really intelligent because if you are intelligent you will not care for the future. You will live IN the present and FOR the present, because there is no other life.

Listen to the birds chirping, chattering... the trees flowering... the stars, the sun, the moon. The whole existence lives in the present except you, except human mind. And it is only human mind that suffers.

Come out of the future! It is your dream. You are not supposed to go anywhere. Be happy wherever you are. Be contented with your being and drop the idea of becoming.

Then each moment is so precious, then each moment has such beauty, such grandeur, such splendor. Then each moment is exquisite. Then you can feel God everywhere each moment.

God is not a goal; God is the presence right now. If you are present, God is available. If you live in the moment, you are enlightened; there is no other enlightenment. And then ordinary life is so extraordinary. Then to be just a nobody is so fulfilling.

I call this whole approach sannyas: dropping the goals, the purposes, the future - becoming part of existence this very moment, not postponing it. Then in this very moment, a great explosion is possible in you: the ego disappears, you are no more, but God is. And that is bliss and that is truth.

The second question:

Question 2:

BELOVED MASTER,

WHY ARE SO MANY JEWS HERE?

Alexandra, Jews are intelligent people, the most intelligent in the world. That's why they are hated so much. They have committed only one mistake in their whole history:

they crucified Jesus and missed the greatest business that was available to them! It is such a rare phenomenon, that it went into the hands of the Italians - the whole business! It is inconceivable - Jews losing it to the Italians! If the Italians are selling spaghetti, that is okay, but they are selling Jesus! Otherwise, the Jews have never committed any mistake.

But that one mistake has cost them very much: they became uprooted. But sometimes blessings come in the form of curses. When they became uprooted, when they lost their land, they became naturally more intelligent than anybody else because they had to exist in adverse conditions. No other race has existed in such adverse conditions as the Jews. And when you live in adverse conditions the challenge is such, you can survive only if you bring your intelligence to its highest peak. If you behave stupidly you will be destroyed. They were living always amongst strangers antagonistic to them; they became more and more intelligent.

More Nobel Prizes go to Jews than to anybody else. And wherever they are they succeed, whatsoever they are doing they bring a certain magic to it. So whenever they feel a certain vibe, a certain phenomenon happening anywhere, they are the first to reach, they are the first to reap the crop.

Yes, the question arises to many people. Almost fifty percent of my sannyasins are Jews - so many Jews that sometimes I become suspicious whether perhaps I am a Jew!

Alexandra, you are right, your curiosity is right. But they can understand what I am saying. In fact, they have to drop a certain guilt that they have carried for two thousand years. If they can feel in tune with me, their guilt for killing Jesus will disappear. Deep down the guilt is there; they need somebody who can take away that guilt. It is like a thorn in their very soul - it hurts. They may not say it, but it hurts. They destroyed their greatest flowering.

Jesus was their highest potential actualized; he was the highest peak of Jewish intelligence - and they destroyed it. They are carrying the wound; they are wounded people. They want somebody who can heal the wound.

But the problem is: if you go to the priests they wound you more. Go anywhere, you will be wounded more, because your so-called religions all exist on your guilt. The greater the guilt, the more is their power over you. They make you feel guilty, they make you feel sinners.

I am a totally different kind of man: I help you to get rid of your guilt. I want to tell you that you are not sinners, and to commit mistakes is just human - to err is human. There is no need to make much fuss about it. And your errors are small; just a little awareness and they will disappear. You do not need to be thrown into hell.

And just see the stupidity of the idea.... Christians say that once you are in hell you are there for eternity. Nobody comes out of hell. It has no exit, only the entrance. And then for eternity! - the very idea is absurd. Even the greatest criminal need not be punished for eternity.

Bertrand Russell has said, "When I look at my sins, if I confess all my sins that I have committed, they are not many, they are not very big. I have not murdered people. Then the cruelest magistrate can send me to jail at the most for four years. And if my thoughts are also to be included, not only my actions, then eight years jail, that's all." He has written a beautiful book, WHY I AM NOT A CHRISTIAN. And among the many that he has given, this is one of the reasons: "I cannot agree with the idea of eternal hell.

Nobody has committed such a sin that he should be thrown for eternity into hell - forever, no escape. And nobody has done so much good that he should be enjoying paradise for ever and ever."

But religions have existed, and they are powerful, for the simple reason that they create fear in you - fear of hell - and they create greed in you - greed for heaven. They wound you deeply. The more you bleed, the more your wound bleeds, the more powerful they are over you.

My effort here is to redeem you from all your wounds, to redeem you from the fear of hell and the greed for heaven. There is no hell and no heaven. Those are not places somewhere, those are just your own states of mind. Whenever you are in anger, in rage, you are in hell; and whenever you are in love, in compassion, you are in heaven. So you can move from heaven to hell many times in a day.

It is not a question to be decided after death; it is to be decided each moment. And it is absolutely within your capacity to decide.

One Sufi mystic was dying. His disciples had gathered and they said, "One thing we want to know. You are departing forever and then we will never know what was the secret. We have never seen you sad, unhappy, miserable. It seems so superhuman. We have watched you for thirty years, forty years; there are a few people who have lived with you for fifty years, sixty years" - the man was almost a hundred years old - "and nobody remembers that you were ever sad, not even a small sadness. What is your secret?"

He said, "There is no secret at all. Every morning when I get up, before I open my eyes I say to myself, 'Listen, old man, a new day is there. What do you want? - to be sad or to be happy?' And I always say, 'To be happy.' So then I remain happy! I decide in the morning and I remain happy. I have to follow my decision. This I do every day. It is a decision."

You choose misery; it is not a punishment, it is your choice. And you choose joy; it is not a reward, it is your choice.

Jews have suffered very much; they are wounded. Of course, two thousand years of suffering have made them very mature, intelligent, alert. Hence they can recognize me better than anybody else. That's why, Alexandra, they are here.

In July 1974, President Nixon was in the Soviet Union, hoping to achieve a nonaggression pact between that country and the United States, but he was having a hard time of it.

"Before we sign," declared Prime Minister Brezhnev, "you Americans will have to announce to the world that Adam and Eve were communists."

Nixon, uncertain as to how he should cope with this dilemma, decided to consult an authority on Genesis - in this case, Henry J. Kissinger - who assured him that he had read several pages of the Bible in his younger days.

Kissinger retired to his study, pored over the Old Testament and the text. Next day he told Nixon to go ahead and sign the pact with the Soviet Union. "The Russians are right," he said, "Adam and Eve were indeed communists. After all, they did not have a stitch on their backs, they had nothing to eat but apples, and they still thought they were in paradise!"

Three boys, a Catholic, a Presbyterian and a Jew, were discussing how they each spent Christmas Day. The Catholic boy had gone to mass, come back, kissed all his family and given them presents, and later on had Christmas dinner. The Presbyterian boy had not gone to church, but had kissed all the family, given out his presents, and then had Christmas dinner.

The Jewish boy said, "Well, dad and I went down to our toy factory, looked at all the empty shelves, sang two verses of 'What a friend we have in Jesus!' and then caught a plane for Osho Commune International, Poona, India."

The third question:

Question 3:

BELOVED MASTER,

IF YOU WERE HERE RIGHT NOW, I THINK I WOULD HIT YOU. IF YOU DON'T
RECOGNIZE ME SOON AND START SAYING YES TO ME INSTEAD OF NO, I AM
GOING TO HAVE TO KILL YOU.

Somendra... thank you, Somendra! I also will need a Judas; otherwise the story will remain incomplete. I can be a Jesus only with a Judas. Yes, somebody has to do the work of Judas - it is hard work.

There are secret mystery schools which carry the tradition that Judas was one of the most obedient disciples of Jesus. He betrayed Jesus because Jesus wanted to be betrayed.

That's exactly what George Gurdjieff used to say: that Judas was not a renegade, he was simply following Jesus. And his obedience was so total that when Jesus said, "Go and betray me, and sell me for thirty silver coins," he went and did it. Of course, he felt very sorry for doing it, miserable, in deep anguish, but he had to follow the master. So he betrayed Jesus, Jesus was crucified, and next day Judas committed suicide. Judas died the next day. He must have felt very bad, although he had to follow the master. He was the most intelligent of all the disciples of Jesus.

So, Somendra, somebody has to do the hard work of Judas. Some day, I may choose you - don't be worried and don't be in a hurry! One day I may order you, "Now, Somendra, you can kill me." But before that, let ME kill YOU!

And that's why I go on saying no to you. That is my device to kill you. You would like to be recognized, but it will be too early if I recognize you. It will be nothing but a recognition of your ego. I will recognize you only when I see the ego has disappeared; while the ego is there I will go on destroying it. My no's are nothing but hits on the ego.

Yes will also be said when you have become capable of accepting my no's joyfully.

When you have become worthy of receiving the yes, it will come on its own accord; you need not remind me. Your reminding me will only delay it. Your reminding me will make me say more no's to you. You cannot force yes from me, you cannot force me to say yes to you. If you can force yes from me, my whole function of being a master is destroyed. You cannot force anything from me.

Pass through these no's: this is the dark night of the soul. And when the night is the darkest, the dawn is very close.

The fourth question:

Question 4:

BELOVED MASTER,

ARE SCRIPTURES NOT REALLY OF ANY USE WHATSOEVER?

Thomas, scriptures ARE beautiful, but beautiful only for those who can understand them - not for you. You cannot understand them, you can only MISunderstand them. I am not against the scriptures - how can I be? I am speaking on one of the scriptures, THE DHAMMAPADA, Buddha's sayings. I have spoken on Jesus' sayings, I have spoken on Mahavira, on Krishna. I have spoken on the Upanishads, I have spoken on TAO TEH CHING. I have spoken on almost all the beautiful scriptures of the world.

How can I be against them and how can I think they are useless? - although I insist that you don't depend on them. For you they are of no use.

Then what is their use? Their use is a totally different thing. When you become more meditative, the deeper you go into meditation, the more will be your capacity and clarity to understand the scriptures. Scriptures will become witnesses to you that you are on the right track. And when you reach to your innermost core, when you realize your being, then you will know what Jesus means by the kingdom of God, then you will know what Buddha means by nirvana, then you will know what the Upanishads mean by truth - not before that.

Right now, if you read the Bible or the Koran or the Gita, you will interpret them according to your unconscious state, according to your nonmeditative state. You will misinterpret, you will misunderstand. You are not in the right shape; you are upside down, you are topsy-turvy. You are a confusion, a chaos. You are a crowd, you are not yet an individual. You don't have a center at all. So how are you going to understand Jesus or Buddha or Krishna?

Remember one very fundamental thing: you can understand Jesus only if you have tasted something of Christ-consciousness in you; otherwise there is no way. You can have some glimpses of Buddha only when you have attained something of buddhahood, some texture, some taste, some fragrance. When you have entered into the country of Buddha and the buddhas, then you will be able to see the meaning.

Otherwise, words are there, but who will put meaning into those words? YOU will put meaning into those words. You will be reading Krishna but you will not be really reading Krishna - you will be reading yourself THROUGH Krishna. The words will be Krishna's, the meanings will be yours - and it is the meaning that is significant, not the word.

Chauncey de Plotkin was suffering from the heartbreak of psoriasis. After vainly trying the usual patent medicines sold over the counter he finally consulted a doctor and was given a prescription and told how and when to take it.

That evening at home Chauncey's wife was astonished to see her husband swallow a spoonful of the medicine, race out of the house and dash around the block. When he returned he was so exhausted that he flopped down onto the bed and fought to catch his breath.

On the second evening he repeated the performance: he gulped down the medicine, galloping around the block and returning home a few minutes later.

On the third evening he changed his tactics. This time he took his medicine as usual, but instead of racing he began to skip around the room with all the grace of a prancing pachyderm.

The wife could stand it no longer. "Chauncey," she cried, "what in the world are you doing racing around the block and jumping about like that? Have you lost your mind?"

"Of course not," replied the weary hubby. "I am just following the doctor's orders. He told me to take my medicine two nights running and to skip the third night."

The words may be of Christ, Buddha, Zarathustra, but who is going to give the meaning to them? Chauncey de Plotkin - he will put meanings into those words! He will impose his meaning, he will project his meaning.

I am not against scriptures. How can I be? I am for all the scriptures, but I cannot say to you that through the scriptures you can find the truth. That is not possible.

A Christian missionary and a rabbi were traveling together in a train. The Christian missionary said to the rabbi, "Jesus saves."

The rabbi looked at the missionary and then said, "But Moses invests."

Words are bound to be colored by you, they are bound to be part of you. They may descend from very high sources.... It is just like rainwater. When it comes from the clouds it is pure, the purest, but when it falls on the ground it depends on the ground. If it falls in cow dung, then it may be holy for the Hindu but for nobody else! Pure water descending from heaven will have the color of the earth on which it falls, will have the taste of the earth on which it falls.

Exactly the same is the case with the words falling from Buddha, Jesus, Zarathustra, Lao Tzu. It depends on your earth - on your mind. And what is the state of your mind?

Can you think anything original? Can you understand anything original? Your mind only repeats that which it has heard or read, that which it has been taught. It is a machine; it can never produce a single original thought. The original thought never comes from the mind; it comes from the beyond.

Buddha uses the mind to communicate with you. He has to use words, obviously, and by using words he is taking a dangerous step. For seven days he was hesitating.... When he became enlightened, for seven days he didn't utter a single word.

The story is that the gods came from heaven, touched his feet, and asked him to deliver the truth that he had attained because the masses were so thirsty for it. Millions of people would be benefited.

He listened in deep silence. He simply said one thing: "As far as I am concerned, for seven days I have been pondering over it and this is my conclusion: that those who can understand me need not hear my words. Those who can understand me are already meditative, they are already on the way. They don't need my words; they will reach anyway, with me or without. Maybe with me they will reach a little earlier, alone a little later, but what difference does it make in eternity whether you come one year earlier or one year later?

"Those who can't understand me are bound to MISunderstand. My words will become a problem for them. They are already confused and I don't want to confuse them any more. My words will create more confusion in them."

The gods were at a loss what to say, how to persuade Buddha. They went away. They discussed it among themselves to find out some way, and then they came back with a new argument. They said, "You are right, there are people, a very few people, who will understand you immediately. And yes, we agree with you totally, they don't need it; they will reach anyway. They are just on the borderline: one step more and they will be buddhas. Even without you they will become buddhas, that is certain. If YOU could become a buddha without any other buddha helping you, they can also become - we can understand it.

"And your other point is also right: there are millions of people who will not understand you. But we don't agree with you that your words will create more confusion. Those people are so confused, there cannot be more confusion. They have already reached to the rock bottom of confusion; you cannot confuse them any more. So don't be worried about them.

"And we have thought about a third category also. There are a few people who are just in between these two categories: who are not so evolved that they will immediately understand you and become enlightened and who are not so unevolved either that they will simply become more and more confused by hearing you. They are just in the middle - a small minority, but those people are there. With your help they will reach to the other shore; without your help they may wander and wander for centuries and centuries.

"And you are right in saying that what difference does it make in eternity? It does not make any difference to YOU because you know eternity, but for those poor people who live in time it makes much difference. For many many lives they will be suffering. For you it makes no difference - you have entered eternity - but they are living in time, and time means birth, death and the wheel of birth and death. And they will have to go on the wheel, in the vicious circle, millions of times. Compared to eternity it is nothing, but compared to a small life - a seventy-year life, a sixty-year life - it is too much. You have to think about that third category too."

Buddha listened to them and immediately agreed to speak. He followed the argument:

yes, there IS a third category. The first category is of those people who cannot understand at all. Words they can understand; intellectually they are capable of understanding whatsoever is said to them. But deep down the meaning is missed, the significance is missed. They hear the music, but they don't get the melody of it. They hear the noise, but they don't feel the harmony; that is a subtle phenomenon. They hear the words.

All the three categories are here. The majority is hearing my words, but they will not feel my silence, they will not feel my presence in them. It is the same to them. They can read a book, they can listen to a tape or they can hear me directly; it is all the same to them, no difference, because the words are the same.

But to the second category there is a difference. To read my words in a book is one thing, because I will not be there in those words, my presence will not be there. I will not be breathing in those words; they will be dead. When you listen to the tape it is a little better than the book, but still my presence is not there. Tapes are mechanical repetitions; there is nobody behind them.

Here when you are listening to me, my words are there and my silence is there. My silence can go with the words if you are available. The second category of people will be able to feel my presence, my silence, my song. And the first category of people will immediately realize that this is it! A sudden enlightenment... not even a moment's gap.

The fifth question:

Question 5:

BELOVED MASTER,

THE OTHER DAY I READ THAT TARU MET YOU ONCE IN THE STREETS OF
BOMBAY WHILE YOU WERE CARRYING A BAG OF GIN AND WHISKY IN BOTH
HANDS. ARE YOU REALLY A DRUNKARD?

Prem Aditya, if Taru says so, it must be so. I am such a drunkard that I can't remember!

Yes, vaguely I remember Taru meeting me on the streets of Bombay. I can remember her hug - it is difficult to forget! But my memory is not very good... so maybe I was carrying bottles of whisky in both of my hands.

That has been very usual for Zen masters in Japan. That is the last stage of enlightenment! To be enlightened means to be utterly drunk - drunk with the divine.

Maybe those bottles of whisky were empty. They must have been, because a drunkard like me cannot keep those bottles full very long. The moment I get them I drink them. I don't postpone anything! But my memory is not very good....

"Doctor, I have a very serious problem," Max began. "I am losing my memory - maybe I have already lost it completely. I can't seem to remember anything."

The psychiatrist smiled indulgently. "I am sure it is not quite that drastic. You must remember SOMETHING."

"No, nothing at all. I tell you, I can't remember a single thing."

"You mean, of course, such things as names and faces and dates? We all tend to forget them now and then."

"Doctor, you don't understand. I mean EVERYTHING!"

"Ah, that is pure nonsense!" snapped the doctor. "No one just forgets everything he has ever known. Even a person suffering from amnesia remembers SOMETHING - such as whether he drinks coffee or tea or whether he smokes cigarettes or not."

"Listen, Doc," Maxwell said despairingly, "I am telling you for the last time - I can't remember anything at all. Everything I see, everything I hear, everything I read, it just makes a temporary impression and then goes out of my head forever. That's it, Doctor, I swear to you. I simply can't remember one single goddamn thing!"

The psychiatrist frowned, leaned back in his chair and pondered this unique malady for several moments. Then he asked, "How long has this been going on?"

"How long has WHAT been going on?"

That's my situation too! I don't remember much. I am not much interested in the past, I am not interested in the future either. My whole interest is in the present moment.

And you can see right now - I am a drunkard! Why bother what Taru says, and somewhere it is written and you read it? Why bother? You can look into my eyes... and they are full of whisky!

And if you don't believe me, come to me in private, and I will cry a little and you can taste my tears. And you will know how they taste - they will taste of whisky! If Jesus can turn the whole ocean into wine, can't I turn my own tears?

The sixth question:

Question 6:

BELOVED MASTER,

NO ERECTION HAPPENS. AM I STILL SEXY? FISHES COME, BUT GO THIRSTY.

Sant... Sant, contemplate on Murphy's maxim: If you play with something long enough, you will surely break it.

The big tomcat was eyeing the cute angora from behind a barbed wire fence. Finally, he decided to jump over it to get to her. With a big leap he landed on the other side.

"Say, aren't you Toby, the tomcat?" asked the angora.

"Not anymore," he replied. "That fence was higher than I thought."

The seventh question:

Question 7:

BELOVED MASTER,

WHAT ARE THE ABC'S OF PSYCHOLOGY?

The A of psychology: neurotics build air castles. The B of psychology: psychotics live in them. The C of psychology: psychiatrists collect the rent.

The last question:

Question 8:

BELOVED MASTER,

WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO SPEAK INSTEAD OF WRITING YOUR PHILOSOPHY?

Gautam, my spelling is far worse than my pronunciation!

Enough for today.

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"Thankful! What do I have to be thankful for? I can't pay my bills,"
said one fellow to Mulla Nasrudin.

"WELL, THEN," said Nasrudin, "BE THANKFUL YOU AREN'T ONE OF YOUR CREDITORS."