Deva means divine, manoj means out of the mind, born out of the mind, so the whole name will mean, born out of the divine mind.
And that's where we come from, that's the stuff we are made of. We can forget about it but we cannot be other than it. We can remain oblivious of it, for many lives together we can go on ignoring it, but it remains there.
The english word 'ignorance' is very good - it means the one that has been ignored: 'ignor-ance'.
So, we can ignore it and we can remain in ignorance. The moment you look into it, the moment you stop ignoring it, it is there. It has always been there, it has been always yours; you just have to knock, you have to ask for it.
Just for the asking it was going to be yours, but you can keep it behind yourself. One can go on having the key and may not unlock the door. That's how it is: every man is born with the key and the treasure, but we never manage to unlock it, we never use the key. The key is attention and the treasure is god.
Once you become attentive about yourself you will come to realise god. You are the lock, the ego is the lock. Behind the ego is god, the treasure, and in your hands there is the key. That key is what attention, meditation, dhyana is called... to become more aware, aware of one's own being.
We are aware of other things. Passing through a garden you see the trees but you don't see the seer. Moving on the street you see the traffic, you see everybody except yourself moving there; you just go on missing yourself. Your attention is everywhere all around... just not turned inwards.
To change the attention from the object to the subject is the whole of religion.
[The new sannyasin asks why the foundation's symbol is yin.]
In fact the reality is a transcendence of both. Yin and yang, the out-going and in-going, are only aspects, not the total. The totality is bi-sexual, it is neither yin nor yang. The totality is trans-sexual, it is neither man nor woman. So only on the surface are you a man and somebody a woman, but the deeper you go. the more you will come to know that the deepest core is neither this one nor that.
People are extroverts ordinarily, hence they need introversion; that is the meaning of the symbol.
People are in the outside. they are already there; people are yang. The yin is needed for balance.
Once the balance has happened neither yang nor yin is needed. Then you simply transcend both, and when you transcend both you really arrive at the reality... which is neither.
How can reality be male or female? And how can reality be divided into the outer and the inner?
The reality is one. This door you are seeing... does it lead in or out? If you are standing outside it leads in; if you are standing inside it leads out, so how will you define this door - in or out? Will you call it an entrance or an exit? From one side it is an entrance, from another side it is an exit; it is both! It is neither, that's why it is both; it depends on you, where you are.
Because people are yang all meditations belong to yin. People are out-moving, out-going, wasting their energy in the objective world, in the world of ten thousand things. Hence meditation teaches them how to come in. Once you have come in you know that there is no out and no in. Then you can be in the marketplace and meditate: you can go outwards and remain in... then divisions disappear.
So that symbol is yin, mm? just to help people who have become too yang. Good.
[A seeker who is visiting the ashram for several months, says he has been meditating here, but has not done groups. He was in primal therapy in the West for two years.]
Very good! After primal there is nothing left except sannyas! The other day I was reading about janov, the founder of primal therapy. He has become very disturbed by a fact that people who have gone through primal have become apolitical; they are not more interested in politics.
I was surprised that he is surprised. that has to happen, that should happen. that is not something to be disturbed about; that is something he should be happy about! We need a world without politics, and if anything can help people to become apolitical that will be a blessing. But he has become very disturbed, he thinks that something has gone wrong. But soon he will find one thing more: people who have gone through primal will not only become apolitical, they will become sannyasins!
That is a second step: when you are no more political nothing is left than to be religious.
[The seeker says: All my early childhood I was thinking about the reason of living, thinking 'What's the goal? What's the meaning of life?' When I was seventeen suddenly thinking stopped, and I knew that there is nothing, there is no god.... It was so frightening for me that since that day I have never been aware again of myself, of what's going on.]
It has been a great revelation; you simply misinterpreted it. Because you interpreted it as emptiness you missed the whole point. You had come very close to god! That is the face of god - emptiness.
God has no human face, god is a facelessness. When you look into god it is empty: you will not find anything there. You can look into my eyes and you will find the same emptiness.
You simply misinterpreted it... but that happens, mm?
[The seeker says: I know it was the deepest depth I saw - that there is nothing, absolutely nothing....
And why was it so? Why was it not a joy?]
That is your interpretation, that's where interpretation comes in.
The experience was of pure emptiness. It is neither good nor bad.
Mm mm, so that's why you became afraid, because you have been brought up in a christian atmosphere where god has always been thought to be something positive, joyful, this and that.
There was nothing so you became trembling. You are still trembling, and many years have passed but the shock is still there in your body; you have not been able to forget the shock.
If you had been in the East that would have been a satori, a samadhi. If you had been by some accident a buddhist, you would have danced! There would have been another kind of interpretation because you would have been brought up for this experience, you would have been trained for this experience - that this is what god is; this is the ultimate illumination: emptiness.
It depends on the interpretation. That's why I say that Buddhism is a higher standpoint than any other religion, because all other religions prepare you for childish things and then when you come against reality you are shattered. They simply give you toys to play with, and when the reality erupts it is terrific and you cannot tolerate it.
Only Buddhism prepares you exactly for the reality as it is, but then it doesn't appeal to people. Why bother about emptiness? This is the problem.
[The seeker answers: I knew that was the only and the first time I was really in reality.]
You were in reality... but you missed it! You missed it because of your christian mind, because of your whole upbringing. There was no thought at that moment but once that experience became part of memory the whole past interpreted it.
When you say it was empty and it was nothingness and there was no joy in it, this is all interpretation.
Once you know that that's how reality is, then great joy will arise out of it - not that there is joy but because you have come across reality you will feel great joy arising in you. But your background didn't allow that joy to arise. rather it created the trembling... and you are still trembling.
If you are here go through groups, through meditations. I will try to help you to move again into that same reality. It will be difficult this time because you will hesitate to go. That time it happened....
Mm, you were not aware, it happened out of the blue, so you could not prevent it. This time you will try to prevent it because you are still trembling. When you come closer to it you will start escaping.
So it will be good if you are here for three, four months. Do a few groups and this whole atmosphere will help you to go into it again and to have another vision of it, with a new interpretation. Listening to me, the new interpretation will enter your being.
Once you can see emptiness as all, as the face of god himself, it brings great celebration. But in fact you were fortunate to have it that way, mm? It was a great blessing... it was a gift, and it will be coming again.
Do a few groups, mm?
So what should I do about your sannyas?
[Osho gives him sannyas.]
Prem means love, shunyam means emptiness - love for the emptiness. And create great love for it:
just nourish and cherish the idea that it is coming again... just make way for it. And this time, very happily welcome it and dissolve into it.
It is your very being, it is the very ground of all being. The whole existence arises out of that utter emptiness and dissolves back into it. We are all waves of that emptiness.
But the indian word 'shunyam' is not just empty. The english word 'empty' is negative, the eastern word 'shunyam' is not negative: it is very positive. It means full of emptiness, not empty of anything but full of emptiness, full of nothingness, bubbling with nothingness, exploding with nothingness. But nothingness is not thought of as nothing but only as no-thingness. You will not find anything there, that's true.
[The new sannyasin says: Not even I was there.]
Yes, that's right, because you are also a thing. All are things - all disappear into that.
No, nothing remains. Only nothing remains, and only nothing is true....
You are not there because you cannot be in front of nothing - you disappear. You can be only with things, you exist only in relationship with things because you are also a thing....
You are; whether you allow it or not you are part of it... we are part of it, we are it! This time it is going to happen in a different way, in an eastern way, you will see.
[A visitor says he has done many things in his life, always changing from one thing to another.
Osho says that's not a bad thing; in fact it is the people who are fixed who get into trouble. It's easy to find yourself when you've lived a fixed, unchanging routine, but the self that you find will be simply dead.]
[Another visitor says she is very confused since she came to Poona.
That's very good! says Osho. That's the right beginning. That's what happens in Poona - first, confusion!
He goes on to say that everyone is confused but we pretend we aren't and cover it up with masks and hypocrisies. the situation here doesn't bring confusion, Osho explains; it simply destroys one's pretenses and efforts to hide the confusion that was already there.
It is as if someone who is ill goes to a doctor who confirms the illness. The man will feel confused - he was perfectly okay before and now this doctor is creating trouble - but the illness was there all along. So you have come to the doctor, chuckles Osho. People who start getting confused when they come to me are my people... they give a right indication. Give me an opportunity to destroy you so utterly that the new can be born. Once the disease is diagnosed, it is better to take the whole treatment, mm? Become a sannyasin!]
[A sannyasin who has completed the groups Osho suggested, says she feels beautiful, more open and accepting, and moving into more relationships. But in her present relationship, she says, at first she felt no expectations and then jealousy came up - she is afraid to allow it in case it destroys the relationship.]
No, don't repress, otherwise the relationship will never be really a relationship. Jealousy is not good, but a repressed jealousy is far more dangerous than an expressed jealousy. No jealousy is the best thing to have, but if it is not there then the next choice should be jealousy expressed; the next best is jealousy expressed.
Hope for the first but you will have to try the next; the first comes very very late in your personal growth. it is indicative of a very very integrated person, that he doesn't feel jealous. Only a person who has accepted himself so totally and one who is so happy with himself and does not have any idea of comparison with anybody else can be non-jealous. jealousy arises because of comparison.
For example, you love a person and the person loves you and then one day you see him being attracted towards some other woman - and comparison comes in. So he is deserting you; so he has found somebody who is better than you? Then has he found somebody who is more beautiful than you?
You may not figure it out so clearly but that's exactly what creates jealousy: the very idea that somebody can be better, that somebody can be more beautiful, somebody can attract your man more than you yourself. That creates a kind of inferiority inside and you start being jealous. You will create all sorts of hindrances possible to destroy this possibility.
No jealousy is possible only when you have come to accept yourself so utterly that now there is no comparison; you don't compare yourself with anybody. Even if your man moves to somebody else it does not create any comparison; it is just a simple fact that he became attracted to that woman. It does not bring you into any conflict with the other woman; it does not say anything about you. If it says anything, it says something about the man, nothing about you, it has no reference to you at all.
But that is possible only when you have become so integrated that you can live without a lover, you can live without being loved and you will be as happy as when you are being loved, when love is no more a necessity but just fun. If you are loved, good. if you are not loved, perfectly good - you don't hanker for it.
There is no ego need in it and you don't make it an ego trip. You don't say that this man loves you - that means he has chosen: you out of all the women of the earth and you are the topmost. And when this man chooses you and you choose this man, this man is the topmost in the world and he has chosen the topmost girl in the world. Naturally then one feels very good: so the two topmost persons are together!
If you start becoming interested in some other man he feels hurt, because what will happen to the topmost man now? He is no more the topmost. Or if he starts being interested in some other woman you are no more the topmost girl any longer.
This is all that goes on in the name of love and relationship. But one has to accept the reality - you cannot do that which is not possible right now. So right now two things are possible: expressed jealousy is possible, repressed jealousy is possible. Repressed jealousy is very dangerous.
Expressed jealousy is thrown out of the system: you are finished with it, you get rid of it; you don't accumulate it. Repressed jealousy goes on being accumulated: it becomes more and more like a volcano - one day it explodes. One day for no reason at all it will explode: any small thing will become the last straw on the camel and it will happen. Then you will look foolish and stupid because it is out of all proportion.
For example, your boyfriend is reading a book and he is not looking at you; now this becomes the last straw on the camel. You take the book and throw it away and say 'While I am here, why do you go on reading the book?'
This is out of all proportion. The book is not a woman, but this becomes just an excuse and all that he has been doing and all that you have been repressing has exploded. Now, he will think this is very strange - just for the book! And you will also feel very strange, feeling that this is not the real reason.
That's how relationships become very stupid, because in the right moment you repress, then in some wrong moment it comes up. It is better to bring it up when it is alive, at least it will be in context; it will not be stupid, one thing.
And when you always bring it up, it never accumulates, it never becomes volcanic. It is better to say to your man if you are feeling jealous, that you are feeling very very jealous! There is no need to make him feel guilty - simply state the fact. You are not saying that he should not do this - remember; there is no need. If he wants to move with another woman he will move. What can be done about it? One is almost helpless.
Before he became your boyfriend he must have loved other women, so he has moved from them:
some day he will move from you too. One comes to accept realities, that it's okay. If he were not a mover he would not have come even to you in the first place, he would have been stuck with one woman forever, but he is a mover so you could get a chance. Now he's moving, so it's okay.
Don't make him feel guilty - simply state your jealousy. Say, '[I am] feeling jealous. Nothing is wrong about you; whatsoever you are doing, you are doing. What can you do? If I cannot stop my jealousy, how can you stop your lust for others?' You understand?
'If I cannot stop my jealousy, what can you do? When a woman passes by and suddenly you become interested, what can you do? You are helpless, as I am. So I understand; please try to understand me too.'
This is what I call the basic understanding that is needed in every relationship: don't make him feel guilty, that's all. He does not make you feel guilty and ask why you are feeling jealous; one should not feel jealous. That is not the point, that one should or should not; one is feeling.
But don't repress it; if you repress it your love will become poisoned. So when this man is holding your hand, your hand will be cold if you have repressed jealousy. Your hand will not have the flow of energy, it will not have any warmth. How can you be warm with this man? You know well that he is destroying your happiness so you become cold; you hold yourself. He may be loving to you, he may be making love to you, but you remain cold, you don't show any sign of love. You simply pass through it as if you are at the most tolerating all this nonsense; you start showing boredom.
This will be automatic because that jealousy is there in your stomach - it will poison. It is better to get rid of it. Right now you have to go through it, get rid of it: when you are feeling angry, be angry!
Don't accumulate madnesses, drop them. Whenever they are alive, lively, warm, go into them. And this will not destroy your relationship, no - this will make it more warm, hot.
Don't be worried whether it is going to last forever or not; nothing lasts forever. So if it is going to last for a few days, let it be hot - why make it cold? Otherwise before it is finished, it is finished!
One day, through learning, through experiencing many relationships, one becomes mature. Then jealousy disappears. Then you are simply happy if this man comes and shares his energy with you, or if he wants to share with somebody else you are happy That is his freedom, you have nothing to do with it. We are only our own masters and nobody should pretend to be a master to somebody else. When freedom is left intact love grows infinitely.
So at this moment you can do only one thing: don't make him feel guilty, that's all. If jealousy is there, say so: be angry, break a plate, mm? slam the door. Do all the things that are needed.... And no woman has to be taught about that - they are born with the ideas!
Keep this with you (Osho passes her a box) and whenever you are feeling very jealous and very angry put it on your third eye. It will help you, mm? Good.