Deva means divine, nirvakar means purity, innocence, virginity....
It is a very very important term in the East - nirvakar. It means your originalness, the way you essentially are, uncorrupted by anything foreign from the outside... Like the mirror when nothing is reflected in it: a mirror not reflecting anything, not even a reflection corrupting it. That's the state of nirvakar, innocence, purity... and that becomes possible again through meditation.
Meditation is nothing but an effort to drop all the foreign elements so that you can see yourself as you were before you were born, mirrored in its purity. It is a great silence and a great joy to be there, and once you start abiding there, there is no death and no time. All fear, all greed, all anger, disappears: one is just there with no idea, no desire.
This is the goal towards which sannyas moves: the utter purity of consciousness.
[A sannyasin, just arrived back here, says that when he was away he felt very close to Osho. On the way back to Poona, he felt hesitation about being with Osho again. Now, he says, I feel more and more confused.
It's natural, says Osho. When you are far away there is no fear; my existence is just your idea.
When you come close you are facing me, not your idea, and you cannot manipulate me as you can your idea of me. I will shatter your ideas and you, and it is only through that shattering that a new consciousness will be born.
First the master is a cross and then a resurrection. Who wants to come close to a cross? I make it as comfortable as possible, but what to do? A cross is a cross!]
[Another sannyasin, who has also just returned to Poona, says he was feeling angry with Osho until he heard what he just said and then he understood some of his feelings.
Osho says that one does feel angry with the person one loves; by and by anger disappears and only love remains but in the beginning things are mixed because the mind is mixed.... ]
It is as if you dig a well, mm? - for many feet you will find only rubbish, heaps of rubbish, junk; even clean earth will not be found. Then after a few feet you start finding clean earth but dry. Then by and by you come across wet earth: now this is the first indication of water but you cannot drink it. It is just wet earth but it is an indication, there is still too much earth. Then you dig a little more and find dirty water, still not drinkable, mm? much dirt in it but now it is water. Then you go on digging; as you go deeper the fresh springs of water will become available. That's how it happens between the disciple and the master....
I am trying to dig a well in you. First only rubbish comes up - hence all these groups; they help.
Mm? that is the spade work: they throw all kinds of junk from your mind. Once the dry earth is available meditations start working. After the wet earth is found, silent meditations are needed... no more active meditations. Once the muddy water is found even silent meditations are not needed:
one has just to wait and sit silently. The mud settles if you wait; if you go on doing something the mud will be continuously created by your doing.
Once the muddy water is available one need not do anything - then non-doing is needed. That's what Lao Tzu calls 'wu-wei', non-doing. Sitting silently, doing nothing, the grass grows by itself... if you can sit silently with tremendous trust that the mud will settle on its own accord.
All these stages one has to pass through. Only finally does pure love become available - pure water, crystal clear. Then there is no anger, no confusion: all foreign elements have been discarded. But on the way you have to pass through all these things, so don't be afraid about them and don't disown them. Don't say that something is wrong, because once you say something is wrong you start repressing it; that has to be understood.
Once you say 'One should not feel angry at one's master' then what will you do with that anger?
And it is there! Just by saying that one should not feel it, it is not going to disappear. You cannot do any magic - it is still there.
You can do only one thing by thinking that one should not be angry at one's master, that this is not right, this is ugly - you can do only one thing: you can put it by the side where you don't look at it or you can throw it in the basement. So when the well is dug deeper, again you will have to come across it. Or if you hide it so permanently that you never come across it, then something of your being will remain undeveloped, discarded, disowned.
That part of being is your being and you cannot grow without it growing with you because the growth is organic. If one part remains retarded and other parts grow you will become a monster: one hand goes on becoming bigger and bigger and one hand remains small; one leg becomes very big and another leg remains small. You will be a monster and you will be in much trouble and much pain and anguish; it will be difficult to even live.
That's what has happened to millions of people: they have become monsters because much has been disowned. The disowned cannot grow because it cannot come to light. The disowned cannot grow because you never give any nourishment to it, you don't look at it! You have discarded it completely but you cannot cut it because it is you.
So never disown anything: if the anger is there, own it, accept it - it is part of growth. Be humble before it, know well that one has to accept it, one has to go through it. Go on working but never disown anything.
Sooner or later you will find that you are growing organically in a deep balance - there is an equilibrium. No part is growing at the cost of another part. No part is denied so no part can take any revenge any time. Nothing is repressed so by and by the unconscious disappears, because when there is no repression the unconscious cannot exist: it exists through repression. And when there is no unconscious your whole house is full of light.
That's what joy is, that's what ecstasy is. That's where we are all trying to move to, to that ecstatic point where no darkness remains, nothing unconscious remains.
So nothing to be worried about, it is perfectly okay. Feeling angry at me is perfectly okay! Good!
[A visitor says she has thought about sannyas but feels confused and frightened. Osho says, You can wait a little but from my side you are already a sannyasin! There are a few things to be aware about, in regard to sannyas. Firstly, you can never be ready; one can only be ready by being in it. By taking sannyas you simply show your willingness to be ready; the real sannyas happens sometime after you've taken it. Secondly, if you wait to be total in your decision to take sannyas you wait forever because the mind is never total about anything and cannot be. And sannyas is not something you can think about; it is a love affair. Either you are in love with me or you are not. And lastly, it is better to take the jump without thinking... ]
... because when you think too much and then you conclude, you miss something very very essential - the thrill of the unknown, the thrill of trust you miss. A moment was close where you could have trusted but you didn't, you trusted your own mind. So you thought: you thought of pros and cons and you made a long list, mm? and then you decided whether to take it or not to. If you decide not to take you don't miss anything, but if you decide to take then even your surrender is through your will. Then it is your decision: because it is your decision something is missed.
Let it be an adventure into the unknown. Just look into my eyes and go into it rather than thinking about it. At least do one thing in your life that you have not thought about. You have been thinking your whole life, you have been doing things through your thinking - where has your mind led you?
What has it presented you with? What gift has it given to you? Where are you? Where do you stand through all your thinking? Just look at it! You will be adding one thing more to it, in the same way.
I would like you to take something new, something that you have never done before, something that you will be doing for the first time. And maybe that will change your whole gestalt, your whole life pattern, your whole life style, because you will be tasting something new for the first time - that yes, that too is possible: surrender is possible too. One can live without thinking and one can let things happen rather than deciding and doing them.
My suggestion is: let it happen. But still you are free; if you want to think about it, you can.
Deva means divine, sambara means discipline - divine discipline. That means, a discipline not imposed by you, a discipline not managed by you... just a surrender on your part, on your part just letting go. And the moment you let yourself go totally, with no condition, god starts disciplining your life.
Except for man, god is managing everything and everything is going so beautifully, so rhythmically.
Trees have that discipline, and the clouds and the stars and the whole cosmos is perfectly balanced, disciplined... except for man. Except for man, nothing seems to be neurotic. From where does this neurosis of man arise? From the effort to discipline oneself, the egoistic effort to cultivate a certain kind of life.
So this, your jump into sannyas, is a beginning. Now relax and let god discipline you. Be a tree or a rock or a river. Forget that nonsense that every human being is taught - that you have to discipline yourself. Be a chaos, and then discipline comes, a discipline descends which is not of your mind, which is something of the beyond, something transcendental. And only that which comes from above is beautiful. That which we cultivate and manage is ugly; it is very mediocre.
That is the difference between a real saint and a false saint. The false saint is one who has disciplined himself according to a certain code of conduct - buddhist, hindu, christian, mohammedan - who lives according to principles, whose life is secondary, whose principles are primary. He lives according to the books; he lives a pseudo life. It is a hypocrisy, well-managed. It is a kind of repression because his real life is repressed and only an unreal life is managed on the surface.
Deep down he remains very very ugly; on the surface very painted. This is the false saint.
The real saint is one who knows nothing of principle, who has not even known about the word, that one has to conduct one's life in a certain way. One is not, so how can one conduct one's life? One is one with the total. One is in a great, deep, at-one-ment, in tremendous accord with the whole of existence, so one lets the whole have its say. One flows with the river; one does not push. One does not even swim - one simply floats with the river.
You lose all ideas of separation, you become one with the river. One does not know that one is separate from the river; one becomes just a ripple in the river. Mm? then there arises the great saint, the sage, who does not know anything about how to live - he simply lives.
When hungry he eats, when sleepy he sleeps. He does not manipulate himself; he has no dictatorial mind in him. He has no mind: he is just empty of mind, just like a hollow bamboo so god can use him as a flute and whatsoever songs he wants to sing, he sings.
[A sannyasin says: I look inside but really, I don't have anything to ask you... or even to say really.
But something is there... there's still a question, a question mark.]
I know that question mark! When questions disappear and only a question mark remains it is a great indication that you are on the right track. Soon the question mark will also disappear. First questions disappear, then the question mark is bound to go sooner or later because the question mark cannot exist long without a question. The question mark starts feeling foolish when there is no question, just the question mark. It becomes irrelevant with your being: sooner or later it will be dropped.
Simply go on as you are, things are going Perfectly well. You need only my blessings - no answer is needed. Good!