New York's Beautiful People At The Matrix Awards

Rosie O'Donnell Is The Emcee

What An Event

Rosie toilet humor had 2,000 fellow New Yorkers in stitches at the Matrix Awards, honoring NYs most accomplished women in media .

The loose-lipped lesbian dropped the F-bomb, flatulated, and massaged her crotch, as she ranted on about  Donald Trump she grabbed her crotch and shouting, "Eat me!"  Even Barbara 'Babs' Walters turned red.

Honoring The Top Females

The annual luncheon of N.Y. Women in Communications - which honored Cindy Bergs, Meredith Vieira, Joan Didion, Susan Lyne, Sarah Firestein and Lisa Caputo, among others - featured as presenters News Corp. Chairman Rupert Murdoch, Joy Behar, Nora Ephron, etc.

Something For The Gentlemen

Also on hand were 17 sweet-faced high school girls who won scholarships to pursue their dreams of careers in media. Hordes of network execs slithered around the girls with talk of being the next anchorwomen.

Rolling In the Aisles

Rosie gave the crowd both barrels, toilet jokes, her yeast infection battles, and the panty liners had them all nodding in agreement. "I cringed and dove under the table when she said, 'Eat me,' " said one woman attendee who declined to be identified.

Among those in the crowd were Judith Giuliani, Judge Judy Sheindlin, Helen Gurley Brown, Sue Simmons, Geri Laybourne, Jane Friedman of Harper, and Hearst president Cathie Black.

Rosie Is Rosie

O'Donnell's publicist, Cindi Berger, told us: "When you ask for Rosie, you know what you're getting. She's not a shrinking violet. She's a stand-up comedienne. She says things that are provocative."

Despite The Protests

A number of the women present feigned over the provactive talk, but they were the ones laughing the hardest. N.Y. Women in Communications managing director, Beth Ellen Keyes, sent an e-mail to her handlers saying, "Rosie was fabulous. Please let Rosie know how much we appreciated her being there. She was just great."

Trump Felt Rosie's Wrath

And just how does one become an apprentice?

The Feldts and Cohens

Too much panty talk, especially in front of the high school girls. No doubt they kept a close eye on their roving husbands.

Joy Behar

It takes chutzpah to show your bloomers.

Judge Judy Sheindlin

I almost expected Rosie to defecate in a bucket on stage.

Helen Gurley Brown

Cosmo publisher, author of 'Sex and the single girl'.

Nora Ephron

Ms Ephron ia a world famous writer/director.

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Dying In Iraq For This Garbage?

Let's pull their 'Hatchlings' out of Penn State, Harvard, Brandeis and ship them to Baghdad.

Judicial Index