New Year's Resolution?


Walking enables you

at 85 years old to spend an

additional 5 months in a nursing home

at $5000 per month.






My grandmother started walking

five miles a day when she was 60.

Now she's 97 years old and

we don't know where the hell she is.








The only reason

I would take up exercising

is so that I could hear

heavy breathing again.








I joined a health club last year,

spent about 400 bucks.

Haven't lost a pound.

Apparently you have to go there.








I have to exercise early in the morning

before my brain figures out what I'm doing.








I like long walks,

especially when they are taken by people

who annoy me..








I have flabby thighs,

but fortunately

my stomach covers them.








The advantage of exercising

every day

is that you die healthier.








If you are going to try cross-country skiing,

start with a small country..






And last but not least:

I don't exercise

because it makes the ice

jump right out of my glass.








You could run this over

to your friends

but why not just e-mail it to them!



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