Tensegrity Seminars

Barcelona - June 1997 [ 1997 Index | Previous | Next ] To:   The Ixtlan Mailing List Date:   Mon, 7 Jul 1997 13:53:59 +0000 Never in my life I experienced something like this. So, finally I got back home, in a new, more conscious, more powerful way. Even now I can hardly believe it. Awkwardly trying to stalk my daily life... Barcelona gave me a key to Carlos Castaneda's books. I crossed the line between fiction and reality. In the first place I was deeply moved by the place where the seminar took place: a wonderful sport pavilion at the sea with walls partly made of glass. There were 719 participants, mostly from Spain and Italy. Short lectures were given by Florinda Donner Grau, Taisha Abelar, Blue Scout and some of The Energy Trackers and The Elements. And of course lots of Passes. At first I had to overcome the frustration of not being able to remember them all. Then I gave it up trusting my body will remember them all anyway. The most important of the lectures to me was the concept of taking your own responsibility in the face of Infinity. A bridge one has to build all by himself between himself and the Infinity, day by day. Also the idea of sorcerer's pragmatism concerning one's level of energy. Something I started to understand thanks to the seminar. After doing Tensegrity one and a half day I started to feel a new kind of strength inside me, or a very old one I used to feel as a child. A strength which had nothing to do with what happened in the outer world. Of course in the outer world I was doing Tensegrity, but I mean, the strength had nothing to do with my thoughts or feelings, nothing to do with my ego. Walking along the beach back to where I stayed, on Saturday evening, I felt strangly detached from everything happening there, people eating, dancing, "enjoing themselves", trying to make the best of their lives. I felt the pointlessness of their trying, and pointlessness of my trying in the past. It only discarded my energy, wore it off, leaving me tired and empty. I felt it the more, the more the outside world contrasted the strength inside me. A lasting, unwearable strength. Not even happiness but strength. During one of her lectures Florinda Donner was talking about recapitulation, about separating the vital energy from experience. I think that was what I felt that evening. And suddenly I understood why one needs energy to accomplish anything in the sorcerer's world. At the end of the seminar on Sunday afternoon I was unable to remember the simplest sequence of movement. The goal of the seminar: saturation, had been fully accomplished. And of course I almost couldn't move a limb. The last new and unbelievable experience I had on Monday, when I went to see the city of Barcelona. All of the sudden I understood what "stalking the shopping centre", Florinda had talked about, meant. The shopping centre was getting to me, it was trying to get under my skin, seduce me back into the daily life. It was trying to rip me off my strength, my detachment, to mix the experience and energy all together again. And so was the journey back home, by bus. Becouse we have a name for everything we do. The internal dialogue goes further than I could imagine. Stalking your own life means not letting you brainwash by it, as my friend wonderfully put it. Back at home I'm trying to retrieve from my body everything I do remember. They are more peaces of movements than complete passes. I also partially lost the battle with the daily life, it succeeded in brainwashing me, but at least I'm conscious of it and fighting. And there is still something in me, that has been changed forever. O.K. I don't remember the passes. But retrieving of what I do remember and performing it the best I can helps me to maintain the part of me that has been changed. "You almost dreamt the Passes" Florinda said, and that is the feeling I maintain by doing them. In the end I take comfort in her words that one can better practice bad Tensegrity, than not to practice it at all. And there was an anouncement of the book describing all of the passes teached during the seminar coming next year! So far Barcelona. I wish you all lots of personal power. Love. Kasia. [ 1997 Index | Previous | Next ]

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