200.
(15) In a marriage of one man with one wife, in which there is a truly conjugial love between them, the wife becomes more and more a wife, and the husband more and more a husband. It may be seen above
in nos. 177, 178, that truly conjugial love joins two partners more and more into one person. So, because a wife becomes a wife by union with her husband and according to that union, likewise a husband
a husband by union with his wife and according to it, and because truly conjugial love lasts to eternity, it follows that a wife becomes more and more a wife, and a husband more and more a husband.
The fundamental reason for this is that in a marriage of truly conjugial love, each partner becomes more and more deeply human, for that love opens the deeper aspects of their minds, and as
these are opened, a person becomes more and more human. To become more human is, on the part of a wife, to become more a wife; and on the part of a husband, to become more a husband. I have heard
from angels that a wife becomes more and more a wife as her husband becomes more and more a husband; however, not so much the reverse. The reason, they said, is that a chaste wife rarely if ever fails
to love her husband, but what fails is her being loved by her husband in return. They also said that this failure is attributable to a lack of elevation in his wisdom, which alone receives the love
of a wife. (Respecting this wisdom, see nos. 130, 163-165.) But this they said in reference to marriages on earth.